NationStates Jolt Archive

GOLDEN AGATE TIMES

LARKINIA TO CHANGE FLAG DESIGN

by Johannes Doe
Times Staff Writer

GOLDEN AGATE -- Larkinian President Takeo Katana announced a redesign of the Larkinian Flag at a news conference Saturday afternoon at the main campus of the University of Golden Agate. This design had passed the Larkinian Parliament by a two-thirds majority earlier in the week.

"We felt it was time to change our design," Katana said, "We wanted something new to represent the strength of Larkinia and her people."

The flag presented was as follows

http://www.geocities.com/larkinia/LarkFlag.gif

"We wanted the white peak in the middle of the flag to represent the Sandias Mountains and the Eastern Ridge, two of the the most impressive mountain ranges in the region, and undoubtedly something to be proud of," Katana said. "The two lions represent integrity and honor, two ideals we strive to every day. The flame in the center is the great fire of strength and pride that burns in us all. The sunrise is a sign that a new dawn, of peace and prosperity, is breaking over our nation."

Reid Harrison, Katana's current presidential opponent (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=134884&highlight=), quickly decried the new change of flag as an election time ploy to grasp at patriotism and in his words, yet another time our nation has bowed down to our 'allies'.

"What Mr. Katana fails to tell us is that this redesign was first talked about during the Tanah Burungian election for Foreign Minister!" Harrison said. "Our allies, the Iansislians were unable to distinguish our flag from the flag of Tanah Burung. Which did in fact look almost exactly like ours! So because our allies were unable to tell the difference, Katana and his ilk immediately started bending over backwards for them! This is one more attempt to give away the legacy of the Larkinian people in the name of 'international pressure'!"

Public opinion regarding the new flag has been split. According to polls, 55-percent of people liked the new design. Of that group, the vast majority were under-35. However the split did not run along economic or political lines.

"I can't believe we have to change our flag design," DVD store owner Mikey Stines said. "This is just another attempt to pull at our heart strings, or bilk us for more money to replace our flags."

However, support for the new flag was deep at the University.

"I like the new design," Sean Marchin, an engineering student, said. "It's fresh, it's got a feeling of hope to it. Like there's a new day ahead of us."

OOC

Very nice!

OOC: Thanks! I've been meaning to put the Tibet flag up for a while, and I finally found a great pic of it. I'm looking for the website I got it from to give them props on here.

OOC: Thanks! I've been meaning to put the Tibet flag up for a while, and I finally found a great pic of it. I'm looking for the website I got it from to give them props on here.

Probably one of those flag web sites.

A rather pevish Minister of Flag Recognization and Other Out of Character Duties wrote a brief missive to Mr Harrison

Dear sir,

Your comments of the other day have cut both myself and my department deeply. I fail to see how you justify such attacks.

The men who work for my department are all lower primates, and are paid three bannanas a week: how can you expect them to both support a family and identify not only our own flag but that of other nations?

Truly, sir, you are the enemy to all the poor, near-fatherless orangutans who must wander the streets of Ianapalis after dark, hazarding life and limb, simply because you are forcing their parents to slave away, day after day, to look at your flag.

I was never yours,

H. Sylvanius Peverell
Minister of Flag Recognization and other Out of Character Duties.

PS: Monkey killer!

((real post script: I like the flag, Lark! Unfortunately, I sort of have to imagine it, since I'm only getting a red 'x'. :( ))

OOC: You're seeing a red X? Lucky guy. My browser doesn't show anything at all.

Fortunately, you can see the flag here (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=Larkinia), though it's a bit on the small side and the details are hard to make out.

EDIT: For a larger and clearer flag, click here (http://www.geocities.com/larkinia/LarkFlag.gif).

EDIT 2: Seems Geocities doesn't like links for some reason. Instead, copy "http://www.geocities.com/larkinia/LarkFlag.gif" and then paste it into your browser. THAT'LL work.

A rather pevish Minister of Flag Recognization and Other Out of Character Duties wrote a brief missive to Mr Harrison

Dear sir,

Your comments of the other day have cut both myself and my department deeply. I fail to see how you justify such attacks.

The men who work for my department are all lower primates, and are paid three bannanas a week: how can you expect them to both support a family and identify not only our own flag but that of other nations?

Truly, sir, you are the enemy to all the poor, near-fatherless orangutans who must wander the streets of Ianapalis after dark, hazarding life and limb, simply because you are forcing their parents to slave away, day after day, to look at your flag.

I was never yours,

H. Sylvanius Peverell
Minister of Flag Recognization and other Out of Character Duties.

PS: Monkey killer!

((real post script: I like the flag, Lark! Unfortunately, I sort of have to imagine it, since I'm only getting a red 'x'. :( ))

(LOL, that's great, I'm not even sure how to respond to that ;) )

(I-man were you able to see it finally?)
"God do I have to do this? why do I give a damn what our 'allies' think??" Harrison mutters to himself.

Harrison sits back and pens a letter to Minister Peverell


Dear Minster,

I would like to apologize for my statements. But my weasel staffers have informed me that would not be in my best interests.

As far as the poor orangutans you are forcing to work in your offices, have you considered hiring weasels? they are much harder workers, they work for less and they are willing to tell you the truth, even when they have to lie for it.

Or you could consider hiring a moose. Moose are great employees, although a moose once bit my sister, when she was working on a movie in Sweden.

Anyway,
I wouldn't want you near me,

Reid Harrison
Next President of Larkinia.

P.S. Bite me. :P

(I-man were you able to see it finally?)

(Yeah, it looks great! As for the letter...:lol: )

(ooh! very nice! :D
Free tibet! :P )

(ooc: Tibet has one of the most beautiful flags in the world. One day, hopefully it will fly at the UN too. I just see the red x too. Mac users are clearly unfairly punished by this new Larkinian directive.)

A letter arrived, festooned in red, black and yellow, on the desk of the President of Larkinia. Written on delicately-perfumed stationery, it bore the coat of arms of the Tanah Burung government -- which appeared not dissimilar to the old flag of Larkinia.

From the desk of Violeta Bi Bere
People's representative for foreign affairs & human rights
The United Provinces of Tanah Burung

Dear Takeo,

Was it something i said? Or, more likely, failed to say?

It's a lovely flag you've designed. It sparkles. And yet, i have to say, i'm a tiny bit hurt. Didn't you like sharing a flag? Wasn't it lovely, at international summits, when the two fluttered together, kissing the breeze?

Oh, dear lion of Golden Agate, say you still cherish the old flag, in your heart. It would be such sweet joy to hear the words.

Violeta

OOC: As both a mac user and a dual processor PC user...I can say...the red x does not discriminate...

Or you could consider hiring a moose. Moose are great employees, although a moose once bit my sister, when she was working on a movie in Sweden.


To quote Jay...BONG!

Or you could consider hiring a moose. Moose are great employees, although a moose once bit my sister, when she was working on a movie in Sweden.


To quote Jay...BONG!

:lol:

And yeah, the red x is just evil in any computer language...

Or you could consider hiring a moose. Moose are great employees, although a moose once bit my sister, when she was working on a movie in Sweden.


To quote Jay...BONG!


Moose make terrible employees. They stand around and tend to get their huge antlers stuck in typerwritters and doorways. If you want an effective work force, hire the Great American Buffallo. Buffallo are smarter neater, and used to working in groups. Get rid of those knock kneeded Canooks, hire a respectable Bison today.

-National Union of Bison Employees (NUBE)

At a quickly held press conference

Moose make great employees. I can't believe the slander all moose-kind receive daily at the hands of those Bison Burgers. The glorious moose is a hard-working, multi-tasking (thanks to the horns) employee, and not liable to get shot for packaging should they slip onto Ted Turner's ranch.

Please remember, Moose are for hiring, Buffalo is for eating (or losing Super Bowls :P )

Smitty Fuzzythimpter,

Coalition for Anti-Anti-Mooseitism.

Hey lark, your presnece is soon to be requested in the John situation...also, what kinda rifle does your military use, namely your SF?
[/hijack]

In another Press Confrence, same hotel across the hall

Once again we hear lies out of the Moose community. Suggesting that the only thing Bison are good for is turning into meat paddies. Have you ever wondered why no one eats moose? Because the awful taste of the lichen in their meat.

They say they can multi-task, but only if it involves being a coat hanger for the office. We demand equal employment of Bison, and remember Bison are not known for trying to maul people or bitting them.

-NUBE spokesman Bison De Greeneater

(You know I had a Bison burger for dinner...)

Once again the bison stand before you and mooo.. er... ask for handouts. We demand equal hiring.. we demand not to be eaten any more... we demand.. Have you noticed that 'demand' is a word that gets a lot of use in their vocabulary?

As for why Moose aren't used to make patties out of, I think that would be a benefit. You can always depend on a moose to come to work and not call in from the Burger Hut.

And speaking of biting, I'll show you biting Le Greeny...

-----

Imi, they'll use whatever the rest of the team is using. Keep things simpler that way.

And speaking of biting, I'll show you biting Le Greeny...



"De Greeny you oversized deer...."

And speaking of biting, I'll show you biting Le Greeny...



"De Greeny you oversized deer...."

"Oversized deer? Listen 'El Slappo' you fuzzy cow, I'll club you like Todd Bertuzzi and a baby seal..."

Imi, they'll use whatever the rest of the team is using. Keep things simpler that way.

No, I mean, your Spec Forces, for their own missions...do they use a Larkinian Rifle or a real world rifle

"You try hitting me with that joke of horn of yours and I'll crush you like the little balsa wood doll you are..."

"Just bring it Chubby boy..."

At this point another group walks in between the two conferences and starts holding it's own conference.

"We of the WWF, that's right, the World Weasel Federation, wish to mediate an agreement between both sides in this argument..."

One weasel runs over to the Bison meeting, "Did you hear what those moose said about your mothers!?!?!" while another weasel sneaks into the Moose meeting and impersonates a moose by wearing three wire clotheshangers on his head, "Those Bisons said our mothers were hamsters!!" :P

(This has a very "wind in the willows" meets Monty python feel to it...)

(IMI, they'd be using a Larkinian Eagle 10 mm rifle.)

Weesels look like Prarie Dogs...(well to a Buffallo anyway)
And we know that Buffallo don't like Prarie Dogs...

"Hmph, stay out of this dirt deweller, I don't need no stinking overgrown rat to tell me what they think of my mother..."

The Bovine Herald
Larkinian declarations enrage bovinian populace!

Moo Moo Farm - Thousands of endangered Hell Bovines marched today at the capital city of Moo Moo Farm, in a protest against the racist declarations of the larkinian leader of the Coalition for Anti-Anti-Mooseitism, Smitty Fuzzythimpter. Among his barbaric declarations, the human stated that: "Please remember, Moose are for hiring, Buffalo is for eating "
The rally was organized by the political groups of Meat Eating Is Evil (MEIE) and the Non-Human Pride Asociation (NHPA) in what was described as a "protest against racism, anti-bovinism and human imperialism".
The leader of the MEIE, Manuel Azaña, declared: "While the government of Larkinia is a great ally of Hell Bovines and we understand thar Mr.Fuzzythimpter has nothing to do with the government, still this is an outrageous declaration. If this is true and buffalos are eaten, then larkinia does not respect non-human rights and that's an evil thing"
Among the protest, posters like "defend our bovine breathen!", "don't eat us!" or "Buffaloes are cool" could be read.
Randy Stonehenge, a random protester declared: "I dunno. I came here because, uh, you know, buffalloes rock! Ehh, mooses rock too, we non humans are nice cows, er people. also, this free salad is tasty! heh, i love protests". then, he rushed torwards the salad bar and started eating until the policecows had to take him out.
Analysts are divided, as some say this protest "will bring change and precedent", while others said "this thing is a load of crap. the free salad was good.". The opinion of this humble journalist agrees on one thing: the salad was good indeed, but a bit of hay would have been good too.

-Marcos Leche, special journalist.

ROFL! :lol: I knew I could count on HB! ;) That's great!

Thanks! :D
Indeed, you know you can count with me. I may arrive late to the party, but you know for sure that I will arrive at least!
BTW, I'm loving all your current RP's - As funny and original as always!

Thanks HB, but I can't take credit for it. I'm working with some really good RPers here. :)

*resists urge to have Anti-Anti-Mooseitism group send Buffalo Burgers to the other side of the hall :P )