NationStates Jolt Archive

Fed up of seeing your colonies treated unfairly by the WCC? Progressan colony The Bottom Line are hosting the first Colony Cup just for you!

All colonies, and other 'tied' nations that do not come under the classification of 'colonies' (e.g. Antaeus Rising), are welcome to sign up. Up to two colonies of any nation can take part.

Twenty teams will participate, and will be divided into four groups of
four (note: no longer five), playing each other once. The top two in each group will progress to the knockout rounds.

Results will be generated using the WC12 finals formula, based on post-WC13 KPB point scores.

The Draw

GROUP A:
The Bottom Line
Tingitana
Taokaualu
Gleam Street

GROUP B:
Roycelandia
Turori
USAnia
The Master Cooper

GROUP C:
Anitram
Avenging Altos
Ioa
Everybody Dies

GROUP D:
Pedriana
Oddslavo
Tailand
Abysmalistan

Sign the Abysmals up!

A message from the USAnian information minister George W. Bush:

Despite missing several cups, The american people's republic of USAnia will sign up. Of course our absence was only due to the corrupt WCC and referees and had nothing to do with a capitalist revolution in our country.

(Both nations are puppets of Rejistania)

*A Person wearing nothing but bombs walks in*

*He blows up*

*A message falls to the floor*

It reads:

Everybody Dies would like to enter the puppets cup, if it wouldn't be too much of a problem...I mean, its not like we want to kill anybody or anything...MWHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHA...Oh, now look what you made me write, Eleven its not my fault, yes it is Eight Thousand Six Hundred and Thirty Six. Look, i written what i said again...take the paper and send it Eleven Million Six Hundred and Twenty Two.

Your's Faithfully,

Number Eleven(Everybody Dies International Team Manager)

*This message will self destruct is 5 seconds...5 Seconds**

*The message blows up*

Roycelandian East Africa would like to enter our Soccer Team, the Roycelandian East African Emperors, in this league.

(No prizes for guessing which nation REA is a puppet of... it's under Port Imperial if you search for it, owing to a complicated war and Colony Relocation...)

Tingitana, former colony of and still very much tied to Bedistan, wishes to participate.

Pedriana (another Bedistani puppet) may be run by Giant Evil Spiders, but I'm sure we can find about a dozen humans to send. If not, we'll abduct them from Lemmistana or something.

The Tailand Tigers will enter. Unlike the Jeruselem Crusaders, they are n00bish soccer team.

puppet de los raptor claw

Can i Compete?

Oddslavo are doind so damn well in the WC..... but sign their u21s up.

The Drinkers of the Master Cooper will enter after the place has undergone a bit of a makeover (even though it'll still look exactly the same).

JC, signed up for U-21 WC, WC XIII and WC IV!

Must be a soccer addict. Go Leeds ...

For the pink bits on the map - a bump!

A bump and a tag -- I always forget to search for posts by my puppets...

Taggin' this one for reference.

BIG BUMP!

Turori & Ioa

Whatever. We're in.

(puppet of CS - got smacked in WC13 after no RP - don't expect too much now either :( )

Beautiful Undeveloped Machined Post

Sixteen teams are in!

The draw will take place on Saturday, by which time I may have some stadium pictures/descriptions to use. The tournament itself will begin Monday.

The draw is complete!

GROUP A:
The Bottom Line
Tingitana
Taokaualu
Gleam Street

GROUP B:
Roycelandia
Turori
USAnia
The Master Cooper

GROUP C:
Anitram
Avenging Altos
Ioa
Everybody Dies

GROUP D:
Pedriana
Oddslavo
Tailand
Abysmalistan

DAY ONE RESULTS

GROUP A The Bottom Line 1 Tingitana 1
Taokaualu 0 Gleam Street 1
GROUP B Roycelandia 1 Turori 1
USAnia 1 The Master Cooper 1
GROUP C Anitram 0 Avenging Altos 3
Ioa 3 Everybody Dies 1
GROUP D Pedriana 0 Oddslavo 3
Tailand 0 Abysmalistan 2

Apologies for lack of stadium pics. I did all the work for WC12 on them... then I provide nothing, LOL.

The Ankh-Morpork C-mail
Gleam Street Division - For The News Which Is Too Small To Be Mentioned in ****bill Street

Gleamers Notch Up First Win
Despite World Cup Flaws - We're Still Dangerous

With ****bill Street out of the World Cup by a gnat's whisker, with the Gleamers knocked out at the qualifying stage with tenth place and a meagre eight points, Streeters of both ****bill and Gleam origin craved sports. Many in Gleam Street had in fact forgotten all about the "Puppet Cup" - initiated for nations which have ties to other, larger nations. So, when the 1-0 defeat of Taokaualu came in on the clacks, people hardly knew who they were, why they were playing, or, most important, "Where the slani hell Taoku...tai...whatever is," as Dave Hunter, chief of staff in the Gleam Street Department of Sports, so adequately put it.

No matter. Apparently, the Gleamers have played well, and especially Vimesbairn United star Tommy Lee had an excellent day at work. He scored the only goal of the day from a header, making it 1-0 against the Toak... (you guess how it's spelt. People from that island, anyway). The Gleamers will now face off against either Tingitana or The Bottom Line - most likely the first one - and then hope that their luck will be enough to send them into the first round already. A win against Tingitana will guarantee a win.

C-mail ratings: Joanna Richardson 6 - Geirr Bjørnsson 5, Olaf Hammerhand 5, Aluminate 6, Ferrous 6 - Nathan Daniels 4, Stein Stonelover 7, Marcus Key 5, Jonny Williams 6 - Alan Johnson 5, Roar Ljøkelsøy 6.

(Note. Despite Excellent political freedoms, the use of the four-letter word meaning a male member of the Gallus gallus is strictly in Gleam Streetian papers.)

Headlines from the Abysmal Times on the day after the match.

Abysmali inflation rate reaches new high

13% of the Abysmali population are predicted to vote in next election

Mlink committed suicide


and on the last page in rather small print:

Abysmali Abysmals did not draw or lose - Tailand did

The concept of a win is totally unknown for the Abysmals - league tables in Abysmalistan even lack a win column. So reporters did not want to confuse readers - or simply kept the Abysmali tradition of bringin the worst news first.


The Abysmalistan Abysmals use this roster to reach the rock-bottom of its group:

Goalkeeper:
Xic (25, 1. FC Abysmal City)
Sil* (26, Abysmalia Shanty town)

Defense:
Lee (29, BVB Desolation City)
Jook (23, 1973 SoWhat)
Mink (28, Abysmalia Shanty town)
Stoi (19, 1973 SoWhat)
Hash* (25, Fortuna Abysmal City)
Jidd* (18, Victoria Abysmal City)
Argh* (20, 1973 SoWhat)
Dej* (24, 1986 SoWhat)

Midfield:
Woo (24, Victoria Abysmal City)
Dong (27, Bavaria Misery City)
Srit (21, 1986 SoWhat)
Zoing* (22, Bavaria Misery City)
Krrks* (25, BVB Desolation City)
Suuung* (25, Sike kaletri 5th team%, Rejistania)

Forwards:
Meeps (20, BVB WorstPlace City)
Hrix (17, 1. FC WorstPlace City)
Xiq (18, 1986 SoWhat) (Not to confuse with Xic)
Wung* (19, Fortuna Abysmal City)
Zilch* (21, Abysmalia Shanty town)
Non* (28, 2. FC AnyplaceButHere City)

Coach: Ha~e Hangila (rejistanian citizen, lost his job at the Rejistanian third league club Sike Sekhika due to lacking successes)

*denotes substitute
%tenth rejistanian league

Despite twelve years of absence, George W. Bush, USAnian information minister, doesn't seem to have changed. Perhaps it isn't really him but something like a puppet. GWB always was a puppet of the only party, now he could have been replaced by a real puppet. Well, no matter who he really is, he is introduced on CNN (Communist News Network) as George W. Bush and CNN always is right. He speaks to the public:

Comrades,

Our fight against the corrupt world cup committee has started anew. they didn't even let us into the world cup because the feared our superiority, ethnical superiority that is. And because of this, we did NOT lose, yes, fellow comrades, we did not lose against The Master Cooper. Our most glorious national team archieved a 1-1 against the opponent! This is a great sign for us and for our nation. Communism WINS!

Thank you for your attendance


The soccer association of the United Socialist States of USAnia is facing many problems, one of them is, that players tend to disappear without a trace, especially after games abroad, we can only provide the starting formation and even this is only provisional.

Goalkeeper:
1. Fred Longfellow (Spartak Atlanta)


Defense:
2. Marc Greatland (Steel Pittsburgh)
3. Pascal Sonderbergh (Steel Pittsburgh)
4. Ian Cerano (BFC Salt Lake City)
5. Karl Liebknecht (Spartak Atlanta)

Midfield:
6. Tom Brink (Dynamo LA)
7. Sean Frankfurt (Dynamo Kansas)
8. John Frontier (Steel Pittsburgh)

Forwards:
9. Ian Smith (San Francisco Stars)
10. Quentin Belmore (New York Red Stars)
11. Jack Bush (San Francisco Stars)

GROUP A The Bottom Line 0 Gleam Street 1
Tingitana 0 Taokaualu 1
GROUP B Roycelandia 2 The Master Cooper 3
Turori 0 USAnia 2
GROUP C Anitram 3 Everybody Dies 2
Avenging Altos 3 Ioa 0
GROUP D Pedriana 1 Abysmalistan 1
Oddslavo 3 Tailand 0

That's day two folks!

Tailand Daily

Colony Cup with Toothless Tigers!

The Tailand Tigers have managed to lose all their games so far. Losses to Oddslavo and Abysmalistan have put the campaign on a bad footing. Frustrated fans booed their team as they left the pitch in their last game.

One unnamed Tailand player commented to a reporter "We are not the Jeruselem Crusaders! We're still learning about the sharp end!".

Ankh-Morpork C-mail
Gleam Street Department - Puppet Cup Special Edition - Now With Mathematical Speculations

Gleam Street won yesterday's match against The Bottom Line, following an excellent raid down the left side by left back Geirr Bjørnsson and a lovely goal for Tommy Lee (who was first striker in the match against Toakaualu, not Alan Johnson - the clacks service from Kaze Progressa is inconsistent, and our reporter in Kaze Progressa was found slightly inebriated in the gutter this morning). We also have to reverse the statement that Gleam Street were to qualify for the semi-finals - of course, it is only the quarter-finals they are going to qualify for.

So, Tommy Lee has made two out of two goals for Gleam Street, who is heading towards their first play-off stage in their short history of football. Now, we only hope that we can get an easy draw - not against some of the nations which will be expected to dominate, namely Avenging Altos (although these are suspected of soprano terrorism and a severe case of voodoo dice), and Oddslavo.

C-mail ratings: Joanna Richardson 5 - Geirr Bjørnsson 7, Olaf Hammerhand 6, Aluminate 4, Ferrous 7 - Nathan Daniels 5, Stein Stonelover 6, Marcus Key 4, Jonny Williams 5 - Alan Johnson 5, Tommy Lee 5.

Full tables and some mathematical speculations:

Group A:

[code:1:1939ce8015]Gleam Street 2 2 0 0 2-0 6 Qualified
Toakaualu 2 1 0 1 1-1 3
The Bottom Line 2 0 1 1 1-2 1
Tingitana 2 0 1 1 1-2 1[/code:1:1939ce8015]

Matchday 3: Gleam Street v Tingitana, Toakaualu v The Bottom Line.

In this group, Gleam Street is already qualified, while Toakaualu can qualify with a win against The Bottom Line. In case of a draw, Tingitana may qualify if they score two or more goals against Gleam Street, and if The Bottom Line should win, they have a very good chance of qualifying - if not Tingitana win by more goals.

Group B:

[code:1:1939ce8015]USAnia 2 1 1 0 3-1 4
The Master Cooper 2 1 1 0 4-3 4
Roycelandia 2 0 1 1 3-4 1
Turori 2 0 1 1 1-3 1[/code:1:1939ce8015]

Matchday 3: USAnia v Roycelandia, The Master Cooper v Turori.

In theory, any team could go through. However, USAnia's superior goal difference gives them a slight advantage over the other teams. Roycelandia and Turori need to win, preferably by a couple of goals, while The Master Cooper and USAnia go through with a draw.

Group C:

[code:1:1939ce8015]Avenging Altos 2 2 0 0 6-0 6 Qualified
Ioa 2 1 0 1 3-4 3
Anitram 2 1 0 1 3-5 3
Everybody Dies 2 0 0 2 3-6 0 Eliminated[/code:1:1939ce8015]

Matchday 3: Avenging Altos v Everybody Dies, Ioa v Anitram.

Avenging Altos is through because Ioa and Anitram can not get six points at the same time and end up on the same number of points as the Altos. Likewise, Everybody Dies is eliminated. However, Ioa v Anitram may be regarded as a direct play-off game.

Group D:

[code:1:1939ce8015]Oddslavo 2 2 0 0 6-0 6 Qualified
Abysmalistan 2 1 1 0 3-1 4
Pedriana 2 0 1 1 1-4 1
Tailand 2 0 0 2 0-5 0 Eliminated[/code:1:1939ce8015]

Matchday 3: Oddslavo v Abysmalistan, Pedriana v Tailand

Abysmalistan can, in theory, be eliminated, and we hope that they will. We have a feeling that Abysmalis do not understand the concept of "qualifying" to play another game, and we fear that it might be strange to them - so strange, in fact, that they might not turn up! But, if they do draw, they will qualify. The aggregate goal difference in Oddslavo v Abysmalistan and Pedriana v Tailand needs to be five goals - and we doubt the Abysmalis will lose by that much.

After the Pedriana match, coach Ha~e Hangila talks to the team.

Ha~e Hangila: Finally you didn't disappoint me, you got 4 points in 2 games!

Xiq: And that is good?

Xic: Yeah, is it? I thought these points are like the ones in dressage. You should try to get as few as you can.

Ha~e: Ouch!

Zilch: Do you have pain, coach?

Ha~e: It is pain to listen to your abysmal soccer knowledge!

Zilch: We *ARE* Abysmal.

Ha~e: I ment Abysmal like: bad, horrible, non-existent!

Zilch: you're right, we couldn't even lose that match!

Ha~e: You drew against Pedriana!

Zilch: Is that less-bad?

Ha~e Hangila starts screaming and runs away

DAY THREE RESULTS

GROUP A The Bottom Line 2 Taokaualu 3
Tingitana 1 Gleam Street 1
GROUP B Roycelandia 0 USAnia 2
Turori 0 The Master Cooper 0
GROUP C Anitram 2 Ioa 0
Avenging Altos 4 Everybody Dies 0
GROUP D Pedriana 2 Tailand 2
Oddslavo 3 Abysmalistan 0

Quarter-final draw:

Winner A vs 2nd D - Gleam Street vs Abysmalistan
Winner B vs 2nd C - USAnia vs Anitram
Winner C vs 2nd B - Avenging Altos vs The Master Cooper
Winner D vs 2nd A - Oddslavo vs Toakaualu

Ankh-Morpork C-mail
Gleam Street Department - In Official Celebration

Gleamers Rejoice At Quarter-Final Draw
Abysmalis Expected To Be Easy Meat

Despite a disappointing draw against the Tingitanans, Gleam Street are through to the quarter-finals in style. An early setback through a Tingitanan long-range strike meant that the Gleamers would have to settle for chasing for a draw. And in the 68th minute, they had a magnificent chance to do so when Jonny Williams' cross hit Roar Ljøkelsøy, who chested it down before volleying the ball into the next galaxy. However, the Gleamers pressed on, and the Tingitanans were forced back into their own half. It helped when a Tingitanan badly fouled Ljøkelsøy inside the penalty area - receiving his second yellow card of the match. Aluminate, the central defender, took the penalty, and scored safely with about eight minutes to spare.

The Gleamers then made a couple of substitutions, but still were in total control of the match, and should have made another goal when Marcus Key broke through on the left side. However, his shot was excellently saved by the Tingitanan keeper.

Now awaits Abysmalistan - a team who is reported not to know the meaning of "winning". This probably means qualifying will be an alien concept too - let's hope they turn up for the next match!

C-mail ratings: Joanna Richardson 6 - Geirr Bjørnsson 4 (Joe Cutter on 85), Olaf Hammerhand 5, Aluminate 6, Ferrous 5 - Nathan Daniels 6, Stein Stonelover 4 (Harald Berg on 54 6), Marcus Key 7, Jonny Williams 4 (Liam Ambrose on 87) - Roar Ljøkelsøy 6, Tommy Lee 5.

Gleam Street 1 (Aluminate 82 pen)
Tingitana 1 (??? 18, ??? sent off 81)

Full tables:

[code:1:1029c4606e]
Group A:
Gleam Street 3 2 1 0 3-1 7 Qualified
Toakaualu 3 2 0 1 4-3 6 Qualified
Tingitana 3 0 2 1 2-3 2
The Bottom Line 3 0 1 2 3-5 1

Group B:
USAnia 3 2 1 0 5-1 7 Qualified
The Master Cooper 3 1 2 0 5-4 5 Qualified
Turori 3 0 2 1 2-4 2
Roycelandia 3 0 1 2 3-6 1

Group C:
Avenging Altos 3 3 0 0 10-0 9 Qualified
Anitram 3 2 0 1 5-5 6 Qualified
Ioa 3 1 0 2 3-6 3
Everybody Dies 3 0 0 3 3-10 0

Group D:
Oddslavo 3 3 0 0 9-0 9 Qualified
Abysmalistan 3 1 1 1 3-4 4 Qualified
Pedriana 3 0 2 1 3-6 2
Tailand 3 0 1 2 2-7 1
[/code:1:1029c4606e]

The information minister George W. Bush speaks live on CNN:

Comrades,

This is a great day for our great socialist nation. After the World Cup Committee, corrupted as they are, didn't allow us to play in the world cup, we trashed the teams on our way to the quarterfinals of the so-called Puppet Cup. Today we defeated Roycelandia 2-0, before we defeated the hypercapitalists of Turori by the same score and in our first match, The Master Cooper was defeated 1-1 by us! if you see this record against established and good teams, it is no wonder that the World Cup committee feared our ideological superity. Anitram, our opponent in the quarterfinals will only be a small step on our path for glory! We will trash them! The American People's Republic of USAnia will remain victorious!

Thanks you for your attendance.

Ha~e Hangila is outraged at the 0-3. he DID explain the Abysmals that the points in soccer are no penalty points, but since the Abysmals have the great need to fail, apparently in their genes, they lost 0-3 against Oddslavo. Two goals were even own-goals by the Abysmals.

After the match, Ha~e Hangila spoke with the team.

Ha~e: You played again so bad that you would all be thrown out of a rejistanian 10th league team. You lack effort, skill, motivation!

Suuung: I play in a rejistanian 10th league team and am not thrown out.

Ha~e: Do you play as starter?

Suuung: Once I did. that was when 2 third of the team were ill, flu time.

Ha~e: Does Sike has a lower team than the one you are in?

Suuung: No.

Ha~e: That is the only reason why you are allowed in that team! Well at least other teams were worse so you qualified.

Xiq: We did what?

Ha~e: Qualify.

Xiq: What does that mean?

Ha~e: We play in the quarterfinal.

Xiq: What is a quarterfinal?

Ha~e: The next stage after group stage... Ah. forget this. You have the chance to get trashed even higher than against Oddslavo!

(The Abysmals smile slightly, which is the Abysmli equivalent of loud cheering)

QUARTERFINAL RESULTS

Gleam Street 2 Abysmalistan 1
USAnia 1 Antiram 1 AET [on pens: USAnia 2 Antiram 3]

Avenging Altos 1 The Master Cooper 0
Oddslavo 3 Taokaualu 0

The Abysmals still can't understand why the loss is only 1-2. They plan to 'play even worse to lose higher'. Siq promised to 'make the own-goal in the right direction next time'. Generally this cup was not preferable for the Abysmals 1 win, 1 draw and two losses are not anyhow like the expectations.

Ankh-Morpork C-mail
Gleam Street Department - Drunk

Gleamers Win Again
OK, So Abysmalis Were Happy To Lose

A good match by the Gleamers yesterday saw them defeat the Abysmalis of Abysmalistan by two goals to one. After an early setback through Meeps's goal, Harald Berg, the new midfielder talent, saw the Gleamers equalise mainly thanks to Argh's boot, who desperately wanted to help the ball past Xic and into the net.

The last fifteen minutes were a nightmare for the travelling Gleam Street supporters. At 1-1, the team started to make the most awful mistakes, and it was only thanks to the Abysmalis playing normally that the Gleamers got off the hook.

Roar Ljøkelsøy received the ball on forty metres thanks to Suuung's pass, which was probably meant to hit right-winger Woo but missed by about eight metres. He then tried to dribble past Hash, failed, but got the ball back because Hash failed to control it. He then passed the ball to Tommy Lee, only it bounced off Jook's boot, and back to Ljøkelsøy, who shot, and for once he did something right - the ball went in straight behind Xiq for 2-1.

The Gleamers are now in ecstasy before their semi-final meeting with Anitram - which must be scheduled in between the Anitrams' World Cup 14 Qualifying matches in Group 7.

Gleam Street 2 (Argh og 74, Ljøkelsøy 81)
Joanna Richardson 5 - Geirr Bjørnsson 5, Olaf Hammerhand 5 (Joe Cutter on 74), Aluminate 4, Ferrous 4 - Nathan Daniels 4, Harald Berg 6 (Liam Ambrose on 84), Marcus Key 5, Jonny Williams 5 - Roar Ljøkelsøy 4, Tommy Lee 3.

Abysmalistan 1 (Meeps 28 )
Xic - Lee, Jook, Hash, Stoi - Woo, Suuung, Srit - Meeps, Wung, Xiq

OOC: Apology to Rejis - but for once, I thought I'd make a proper Abysmal RP too. ;)

...?