Wombat News
15-03-2004, 12:04
Lavenrunz; Wombat News
Count Mirbach announced yesterday that all non-humans have been abolished. "A group of Christian scientists have proven that non-humans are not true humans," the Count announced, "and we have decided to take appropriate steps." (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=127593&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=)
"Part of the Volksraad disagreed with us, but the evidence was clear," continued Mirbach. "There is no doubt that non-humans are not humans, and certainly not worthy of being part of our great society. While this was already understood in the Christian Nationalist Party many years ago, we needed proof to convince all those leftie intellectuals. Finally, the scientists of Christian Research Against Polemics (CRAP) have provided that proof. It is simple to understand and cannot be refuted, especially now that all those liberal traitors that plagued the Volksraad have been rounded up and shot."
The following is a brief summation of the main points presented in the CRAP report:
1. Many infamous liberals were non-human. Children of such liberals had similar political beliefs as their parents. This proves that non-humans are genetically evil.
2. All non-humans think they are equal or superior to the proud human race. A prime example of their inherent racism is Lady Sirithil nos Fëanor, the deranged harpy who wants to humble all humans with her abnormal longevity and huge gravship fleets (obviously the result of some elvish skullduggery).
3. Non-humans are not mentioned in the Holy Bible. There are no non-humans in Genesis. Therefore, God did not create non-humans. By process of elimination, we therefore come to the conclusion that non-humans must have been created by Satan.
4. In most pulp SF novels, humans are obviously a force for good, while non-humans are invariably portrayed as evil. This is clearly a sign from our Lord God, warning us of the evil of non-humans.
"Thus, from this day forth there shall be no more non-humans in the National Socialist State of Lavenrunz! If you are non-human, please leave the country immediately," stated Mirbach before leaving the podium.
When asked what would happen to non-humans who remained in Lavenrunz, Count Mirbach said, "We’re going to show them what Lavenrunz really stands for. We will not accept their evil and their racism here. This is the land of the free!"
A large group of people demonstrating outside the Volksraad building were gunned down by Young Nationalist black-shirts. The killings were hailed as "a victory against tolerance". Thousands of non-humans have been fleeing the country, mostly to neighbouring countries, but many have also decided to stay home, not being able to believe the announcement. Most of them will be executed shortly, the Volksraad announced.
It is still unknown whether this edict will extend to Count Mirbach himself.
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – SHINING THE BRIGHT LIGHT OF TRUTH INTO THE DARK CORNERS OF INTOLERANCE
Count Mirbach announced yesterday that all non-humans have been abolished. "A group of Christian scientists have proven that non-humans are not true humans," the Count announced, "and we have decided to take appropriate steps." (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=127593&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=)
"Part of the Volksraad disagreed with us, but the evidence was clear," continued Mirbach. "There is no doubt that non-humans are not humans, and certainly not worthy of being part of our great society. While this was already understood in the Christian Nationalist Party many years ago, we needed proof to convince all those leftie intellectuals. Finally, the scientists of Christian Research Against Polemics (CRAP) have provided that proof. It is simple to understand and cannot be refuted, especially now that all those liberal traitors that plagued the Volksraad have been rounded up and shot."
The following is a brief summation of the main points presented in the CRAP report:
1. Many infamous liberals were non-human. Children of such liberals had similar political beliefs as their parents. This proves that non-humans are genetically evil.
2. All non-humans think they are equal or superior to the proud human race. A prime example of their inherent racism is Lady Sirithil nos Fëanor, the deranged harpy who wants to humble all humans with her abnormal longevity and huge gravship fleets (obviously the result of some elvish skullduggery).
3. Non-humans are not mentioned in the Holy Bible. There are no non-humans in Genesis. Therefore, God did not create non-humans. By process of elimination, we therefore come to the conclusion that non-humans must have been created by Satan.
4. In most pulp SF novels, humans are obviously a force for good, while non-humans are invariably portrayed as evil. This is clearly a sign from our Lord God, warning us of the evil of non-humans.
"Thus, from this day forth there shall be no more non-humans in the National Socialist State of Lavenrunz! If you are non-human, please leave the country immediately," stated Mirbach before leaving the podium.
When asked what would happen to non-humans who remained in Lavenrunz, Count Mirbach said, "We’re going to show them what Lavenrunz really stands for. We will not accept their evil and their racism here. This is the land of the free!"
A large group of people demonstrating outside the Volksraad building were gunned down by Young Nationalist black-shirts. The killings were hailed as "a victory against tolerance". Thousands of non-humans have been fleeing the country, mostly to neighbouring countries, but many have also decided to stay home, not being able to believe the announcement. Most of them will be executed shortly, the Volksraad announced.
It is still unknown whether this edict will extend to Count Mirbach himself.
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – SHINING THE BRIGHT LIGHT OF TRUTH INTO THE DARK CORNERS OF INTOLERANCE