NationStates Jolt Archive


Whither Goes the Empire of the Shield?

Iansisle
13-03-2004, 14:06
Whitman Tower
Ianapalis, Iansisle, the Commonwealth

Sir Penton Dubois looked a far cry from the confident, bright-eyed young administrator he’d been when Clancy I of Thorntree had picked him to head the Shield’s largest industrial interest. Not that he’d ever been naïve or idealistic; he’d just been a much younger, more vibrant cynic.

The Northern Seas Affair had shaken his confidence in his own abilities greatly; he’d done everything right, but even his best hadn’t been enough to save his younger brother. Every night, when he lay awake in bed with a wife he didn’t love, he’d see the pictures of the wreck. The smoldering car; the teams pulling out the bodies of Harry and that damn Brit. Sir Penton didn’t know why Harry was out for a drive with some hack of a naval commander, instead of in the Chateau fleet base hospital like he should have been, but it didn’t matter. He had failed Harry, his own flesh and blood; how could he hope to sustain Royal Mining and Manufacturing?

A soft knock and the sound of his door opening swung Sir Penton’s thoughts back to the present - not that it did much good. His secretary, Ms. Bradley, smiled brilliantly in at him. She was new, of course - they always were - and hadn’t quite yet mastered the art of telling when Dubois was ready to fly into a fit of absolute depression.

“Mr. Sidney here to see you, sir.”

“Don?” There was a note of concern in Sir Penton’s voice as his emotions swung from melancholy lethargy to mild confusion. Donald Sidney was Royal’s Vice President of Labor Relations; but he was also something of a coward with respect to office politics. If there was something important enough going on in his department to be worthy of bringing to Dubois’ attention, Sir Penton knew it had to be bad. “Send him in at once, please.”

There was a brief pause before Don Sidney came shuffling into the office. The expression on his face was hard to read; it was almost half way between an attempt at an ‘everything’s fine!’ grin and sheer panic. “Sorry to bother you, Sir Penton.”

“Never a bother, Don. Have a seat.” Now Sir Penton was really worried. He had a feeling there was some sort of problem that was quite out of the grasp of Don’s limited intellect, but hadn’t been reported to him before now out of fear. If that was the case, the problem might have even grown so large as to be completely out of control. “Can I get you some tea?” The question sounded stupid in light of the expression on Don’s face, but there was a certain procedure, even in informal business meetings. Part of it was that no business could actually be conducted until after tea had been offered.

“No, thank you.” Don looked exasperated, but didn’t expand on whatever he was thinking. In fact, his Weshieldian features were working in something like terror, but Sidney wouldn’t offer any sort of information until it was asked for.

Sir Penton sighed. There were a lot of stereotypes about people from the the Empire’s western frontier - primarily Weshield itself and Upper Mansford - most of which involved their slow wit and lack of reasoning skills. Dubois felt the familiar sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach as he thought back, ten years ago, when Harry had managed to run on the wrong side of one of King Alexander’s daughters and landed himself in jail. He had to be rescued, of course, and not only was he able to do it that time, but in the process Sir Penton had gained some respect for the people of the Western Kingdoms. Of course, people like Don Sidney, who had come to Royal straight out of Laughlin Academy in Fort Jackson, did more than their part to perpetuate the old assumptions.

With a slight shake of his head, Sir Penton forced himself to return to the matter at hand. “Suit yourself. Now, then, Don, I’m assuming this isn’t just a social call?”

“Well, no, sir, it isn’t.” Sidney looked like a kindergartner trying to admit he’d put glue in the dog’s hair. “It’s Mill W-1A.”

“W-1A?” asked Dubois sharply. He recognized the name immediately; it was that of Royal’s largest and most productive steel mill in Ianapalis. They were just completing a large - and very expensive - order of armor plating for the navy. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s a ... strike.”

“A strike?! Don, what the hell? How did they organize? What about the RES? Why...” Sir Penton cut himself off before he could spew any more questions.

“They didn’t organize; not as such, anyway.” Don looked even more glum that before, if such a thing were possible. “There were only a couple of them, at first. One of them - a Mr Lawrence Manders, according to our man on the spot, who has been suspected of unionist agitation in the past - broke in to the communication center, grabbed the P.A., and called for sit-down strike. And the workers obeyed.”

Dubois’ face threatened to turn purple with rage, but he managed to shove down the instinct. Ever since that rabble-rouser Bradsworth had been shuffled off to Golden Agate, the Ianapalis Mob had become even more uncontrollable than before. Despite his final speech, where he had promised to preach the workers’ message to the New Highlands Alliance, other ‘leaders’ had capitalized on the fact that shoveling Bradsworth off to Larkinia had been a very clear move to get him and his golden tongue out of the country.

Removing Bradsworth from the domestic scene may have chopped the head off the big dog, but now a hundred little problems nipped at Royal’s heels. Every which way Dubois looked, he saw unionist agitators, each and every one of them waiting for the chance to flaunt their defiance to the corporate headquarters. The Royal Enforcement Service was doing its best, but there were reports - mostly from the Noropian coal mining enterprises - of RES troops actually siding with the strikers!

“Damn, damn! Why didn’t the manager nip this in the bud from the first? Why am I just hearing about it now?” demanded Sir Penton, just managing to keep his voice under control.

“That’s...my fault, Sir Penton. The preliminary reports came in about an hour ago. I sent the local strike-breaking squad of the RIS to meet them, but...”

“But what?”

“But the workers had tossed out the management and locked them out of the factory grounds.”

Dubois just swore. That felt good, so he did it again. Then he sat up and pointed an accusing finger at Sidney. “Now see here, Don - I don’t care what it takes, but we can’t afford to set precedent here. I want that strike broken, and I want it done now, do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir Penton...anything...”

----

Mill W-1A
Ianapalis, Iansisle, the Commonwealth

I really ought to remember to thank good ol’ Clancy, thought Larry Maders as he walked confidently along the insider perimeter of the mill’s fifteen-foot high chain-link fence. If it wasn’t for him, those skull-crackers would have been able to get in hours ago!

“You will disperse now, and without any further incident,” said the bloke with a megaphone, his calm and dispassionate voice echoing about the compound. Shouts and jeers answered it.

“Just you try and make us!”

“Fair wages now!”

“No more yellow-dog contracts!”

“Why don’t you try and do something positive with your life?”


Every now and then, a Royal Enforcement Service goon would try and force a gate open or climb the fence. A hail of stones would invariably cut any expedition short. Sometimes, things would get a little too violent, but Maders had no wish for this to break out into a full scale riot. Not so much because of the pain and suffering both his people and Royal’s would suffer, but because that tactic had been tried time and time again. The result was always the same: the workers would be slaughtered, and Royal would get off in court on the pretext of self and property defense.

Maders knew a few of his men had to be the provocateurs employed by Royal for the express purpose of creating just such a disturbance. They were the reason he had his loyal men running about from one trouble spot to another, pulling workers off guards and trying to avoid a general escalation. With tensions running so high, it wasn’t easy.

A new sound drifted above the sounds of the strikers and their watchdogs - two hundred and eighty boots, all hitting the dirty cobblestone street in unison.

Gamma Company of the King’s IV Rifle Regiment was marching down 31st Street.

----

Staff Sergeant Tony Domacceli stifled a yawn as he let the sounds of a bitter argument wash over him. Gamma Company’s captain was busy arguing with some obstinate RM&M worker about their orders. Tony didn’t really know what it was all about; Royal Army Corps officers, with a blessed few exceptions, didn’t share their overall orders with the common rank-and-file. Even NCOs only received a brief outline of where they needed to march to, and that was on a strictly need-to-know basis.

He supposed it was only to be expected; the Army drew its officers primarily from those sons of the lower nobility and upper bourgeois who had failed out of the naval program at TMI, but didn’t have the family influence to continue anyway, or else the sons of the lower-middle class, who couldn’t afford a naval commission for their sons.

The RES officer seemed to be questioning Gamma Company’s right to help enforce Royal’s policy in Ianapalis, whereas Captain Monroe insisted that, given his official request from Whitman Tower, the Army had the right to help wherever it damn well pleased.

“Unless, of course, you’d rather I take your name back to Whitman myself,” was Monroe’s last word, in a rather smug and satisfied manner. Their effect on the Royal officer was immediate and dramatic. Tony was somewhat surprised; he hadn’t expected someone of Monroe’s rather sub-par wit to actually score any points in a verbal battle. Almost at once, the heavy-set Shieldian officer started issuing orders.

“Hawke and Peters! Take your platoons around to the back enterence! Sylverman, you’re here with me!” he called to his officers, and the troops began to move in their respective directions with the sloth typical of the RIAC. Tony, attached to the command platoon, started barking out orders.

They were basically good men, he reflected as A-platoon deployed about him. The IV Rifles, affectionately known as the ‘Fantastic Fourth,’ had a long and distinguished past. In their days as ‘The King’s Uplanders’ of the early Empire, they had participated with honor in several actions during the conquest of Tharia; as the ‘47th Foothills,’ they had fought in Gallaga and against Effit; in their present guise, after the reorganization of the Army, they had landed at Salvador.

Salvador - the eternal bogeyman of the Fantastic Fourth. They had lost 778 killed and 589 invalidated, out of a total of 2,000. That the permanent injury total had been even that low was a testament to the skill and fortitude of the Larkinian doctors who had arrived to relieve the Fourth’s overwhelmed and decimated medical corps. Of course, today, there were scant few remainders of the massacre left, and Tony was one of them. He’d taken a piece of flak at Salvador, and the terrible scar it had left was part of Gamma Company’s folklore.

Tony himself stood a scant five foot five, on the short side even by Iansislean standards, but he made up for it by being a virtual ball of energy. He was a legend to those not directly affected by him and a terror to those who were. His khaki battle dress bore the blue, gold, and red of Tharia on its left shoulder, indicating he - like most of the Commonwealth’s soldiers - was a Dominion man.

Movement barely registered out of the corner of his eye, from within the compound. One of the striking workers - unbeknownst to Tony, but probably beknownst to the RM&M men on the scene, in the employ of the Royal Mining and Manufacturing Consortium as an agitator - had pulled a gun on the newly arriving men from the Fantastic Fourth. It barked loudly, and a single .45 caliber round flew out from the compound, directly through the chain-link, and slammed bloodily into Staff Sergeant Tony Domacceli’s chest, sending the short but stocky Tharian crashing to the ground.

For a scant couple seconds, only the agitator was able to act. Every other person, worker and soldier alike, was frozen in confusion. Two more shots rang out from the agitator’s gun; one missed, but the other tore the face off a pimple-scarred young private.

And then it was the Fantastic Fourth’s turn. Without orders, and probably without thinking, they turned their M74B rifles towards the compound, and with a rippling crackle, sent a wave of .303 rounds into the heart of the strikers. The agitator had seen the first reaction and dropped to the ground - he had chosen his place, right behind a slight rise in the ground, well, and survived the encounter - but his ‘comrades’ weren’t so lucky. Several workers went down, blood streaming from gaping wounds. The sound of firing from the other side of the mill indicated that an idea Royal thought would work well once would work just as well twice.

Although the Fourth fired only a single volley into the compound, the RES goons had themselves a field day. The sharp rattling of automatic fire indicated a machine gun had been set up somewhere, and it mowed down the workers, who were almost all unarmed. It was never a fair fight, but it never had been meant to be one either. In the end, not a single soldier or RES man outside Tony, the private, and Lieutenant Hawke from the backside were even so much as injured, but over one hundred workers were killed, and scores more grievously wounded.

How the international press - and the Ianapalis Mob - would treat the ‘Massacre on 31st’ remained to be seen.
Larkinia
13-03-2004, 14:11
*tag!* The Press will be all over it ;)
Iansisle
14-03-2004, 00:47
bump!
Walmington on Sea
14-03-2004, 06:42
Southend

"What's the meaning of this, Wilson?" Hissed Mainwaring, startling the Deputy PM as he slapped a copy of The Standard on to Wilson's chest.

"Oh really, sir, now you've made me lose half of my icecream!" Wilson replied, grudgingly taking hold of the paper if only to wipe a rainbow of little hundreds and thousands off his otherwise rather tidy suit. The DPM was slow to pay any attention to the plump little premier's exceptionally red face or the short, rapid steps of his nothing-to-see-here getalong.

"Oh I see." Wilson eventually said. "Ceyloba Pale Ale back up to 7% volume, oh yes, that is.. ah.. I'm afraid I don't understand.. whatever's the matter?"

The PM snatched the paper back, accidentally striking an old lady's back with it as the two ministers struggled through the Empire Day crowds on the bayside.

"Oh, mind your own business!" Snapped Mainwaring to the pensioner's baffled glance. He handed the paper back to Wilson, fiercly jabbing his finger at the correct story.

"Good heavens, yes, look at that. 'Riot turns sour in Ianapalis'."

Details in Walmington's dominant paper were as yet rather few, and the column was obscured and shunted to the middle of the publication below a half page ad for a moderately popular ale most often drunk in distant Vollombo. Still, it was evident that Mainwaring at least was worried. It made him all the more determined to see the extended Empire Day celebrations taking up headlines and boosting national pride.

(ooc:If the time-frame is out of skew I expect it'll be easy enough to.. not mention this again in the Empire Day thread.)
Iansisle
17-03-2004, 08:11
“Jackson?”

“Sir Penton.” The voice didn’t sound at all happy to find who it was talking to. Still, Dubois had to forge onwards.

“It’s been too long, friend. Look, I hate to make this a business call, but-”

“Drop the bull plop, Pent. I know damn well why you’re calling - and I need to know just what’s going on.” Dubois kept himself from audibly gulping. “I’ve got a dozen reports on my desk saying you machine-gunned a crowd of unarmed strikers...”

“Unarmed, my eye! It was after they fired first!”

“That’s not what my liaison with the Fourth Rifles says. He says they went through the entire complex, but only found two workers with guns - two of the dozen or so who survived unharmed. Rather a coincidence, don’t you think?”

“I have no idea what you’re implying, Jack,” replied Dubois coldly. “The RES replied to a provocation; you heard it yourself - two soldiers were killed and an officer wounded.”

“I don’t believe that for one lousy second, Pent, and neither do you. This was a classic Royal suppression effort. I’ve seen it a dozen times.”

“All right, Jack - that’s enough of that. You know why I’m calling.”

“You want me to sit on the 31st Street Massacre and the public reaction to keep your workers in Fort Jackson and Thortraia ‘untainted’ by nasty thoughts of independence.”

“I don’t know if I’d put it quite that sarcastically, Jack, but yes - that was my basic intention. The riots are bad enough here in Ianapalis; imagine how bad they’d be if they spread to every corner of the Shield.” There was silence on the other end of the line. “I need your help on this one, Jack. There’s no telling how big this thing might get if we let it get out of control.”

“Damn it, Pent: this could well be the greatest news story since the Capable incident. The international firms are going to be all over the city; can you imagine IanCorp’s market share loss if we try to sit on it?”

“Can you imagine the total disaster if we don’t sit on it?” Sir Penton’s voice had completely lost its friendly tone; now he was all but yelling at the newspaperman. “This will spread like a stain too big to control; as long as it’s just Ianapalis, we can contain the problem.”

“The riots?”

“The revolution, man! I don’t care what any analysts say: what we’re seeing is a major shift in our population’s paradigm! That Bradsworth character, however he did it, has shattered our old system, and we’ve got to pick up the pieces if we’re to survive!”

“Survive?” repeated Jackson Halders. “Somehow, Pent, I think you’re over exaggerating just a bit. This isn’t a permanent shift; just a temporary, fleeting fancy. They’ll have forgotten all about it when the colder temperatures start setting in next month.”

“If you’re banking on winter to pull our collective fats out of the fryer, then I’m afraid you’re much mistaken, Mr. Halders,” said Dubois. “Bradsworth is still around, and my men can’t even get to him in Golden Agate.”

“As I recall, it was your idea to send him there.”

“It doesn’t matter if we kill him now, anyway! He’s already spread his poison all over; it’s up to us to counter it. And we can’t do that with violence spreading from Ianapalis to the entire bloody Commonwealth!”

“All right, all right!” said Halders, a note of panic in his voice. “We’ll keep the story out of the peripheries. But I assume you do intend to control what’s already happening in Ianapalis, Pent?”

“Dammit man, this isn’t as easy as not printing a newspaper story! We’ve already lost near twenty per cent of our Ianapalis based forces trying to control the Mob.”

“And if you can’t control the Mob, how am I supposed to control the story? Pent, for Christ’s sake, every hour this thing goes on makes it that much harder to keep the lid shut!”

“I’m trying. But this ordeal will bleed Royal dry if we don’t get it under control in a week or so! What we need is more manpower.”

“And where do you propose we get it? The government?”

“I’ve been all over this, up and down, with that idiot O’Bannon. He seems to regard this as a purely labor related concern, and won’t step to interfere. The Fourth and Seventh will be positioned along MacDunn, but they won’t actually go into the fray. The Admiralty was more apologetic, but they claim there’s really very little they can do. Except, maybe, for your brother...”

“That’s no good. Last I heard, he was stationed in Port Laughlin.”

“Damn. Well, we’ll just have to work outside the lines on this one.”

“How about the UBC? They maintain a virtual army to protect their holdings.”

“In mid-river Gadsan,” snorted Dubois. “And I doubt they’d help us, anyhow. You may not be aware, Jackson, but the UBC has hardly been acting in accordance with Big Three policy.”

“IanCorp’s network is at least as large as Royal’s,” replied Halders peevishly. “I admit, I’ve been hearing the same reports out of Lakeriverwood.”

“Not quite rumors, dear Jackson, and not quite fact either. But my sources to indicate a fundamental break between the bankers of Gadsan and the proper corporations of the Shield. It is my considered opinion that we seek new allies.”

“What you propose! An end to the Big Three? Do not forget, the UBC is still - and by far - the largest single owner of capital in the Commonwealth!”

“But they haven’t the constitution to act upon that strength! Dear Jackson, the UBC is not the powerhouse it was once; it’s credibility has been sapped by decade upon decade of weak and indecisive leadership. Jackson, the tide is upon us. If we are to survive, we must shed the dead skin of old friendships and be open to new ones.”

“New friendships? Such as?”

“I was thinking it may be time we got in contact with Marcus Westerton and Edward Tedders.”

“Westerton and Ted- you’re not serious, Pent!”

“Why not? They are the newest power in Shieldian business, and the oldest. Strange times make for strange bedfellows.”

“It’s been our very deliberate choice not to associate with the Executor or the Company, for one! Do you know the beating they’re taking in the international press?”

“To hell with the international stage. Why ought we to worry about it when we’ve more than enough problems on the domestic?” laughed Dubois, somehow managing to do it with no humor in his voice.

“Easy enough for you to say! Royal doesn’t do half the international trade of IanCorp! And Westerton! Need I remind you that Marcus Westerton, the arrogant son of a bitch, thinks himself some sort of ‘new man,’ completely opposed to the existing system of business on the Shield. Our system, Pent?”

“He’ll come around. Westerton’s been taking its beating by the unionists, same as we all have. That idiot Andrews, their VP of ... what, Sales?”

“Marketing.” From Halders’ tone of voice, it was clear that Todd Andrews wasn’t a favorite subject.

“Right. He’s so convinced he can control the Mob with pay raises and incentives that Westerton’s been completely blinded to its own labor problems. They’ll see their way to us.”

“And the Company? What do they have to gain?”

“What don’t they? It’s quite clear, especially in the aftermath of the war, that the Company lives not just at the sufferance of but indeed is propped up by the state. They realize that any... rebellious tendencies in the Mob would reflect doubly bad on them. Without the guarantee of fresh, white reinforcements from the Shield, how could they maintain their domain in Gallaga?”

“You sound awfully confident that Executor Tedders shall see it your way.”

“At the risk of sounding presumptuous, my dear Jackson, it is because I already know what way the Executor shall see things.”

“Beg pardon?”

“I’ve been in contact with the Company. The Office of the Executor has agreed to send a total of 35,000 troops to reinforce the RES.”

“35,000...” Halders voice was quiet.

“Indeed. The first, ah, ten thousand shall be arriving in about a week and a half, from Fort Manly. The rest will take some time longer.”

“But...black troops firing on white civilians? Are you sure that’s such a good idea, Pent?”

“That’s really the Executor’s concern, isn’t it? We’ve never been allowed to fully penetrate Gallaga’s market because of that damn charter of theirs. What does it matter to us if this gives the National Congress some ideas?”

“So you plan to use Tedders, then lose him.”

“I shouldn’t put it quite so cynically, Jackson. A temporary alliance, perhaps. But one that’s needed if we’re to retain control of Iansisle’s markets.”

“And if you do the same to me? Like you did to the UBC?”

“Jackson, I know you may not trust me fully, and I accept that. Rest assured, however, that IanCorp is far too valuable an ally to ever dispose of.”

“I can’t say I’m all that reassured.”

“Some degree, then. You have my word as a gentleman that the alliance between IanCorp and Royal is not in any danger, nor do I anticipate it to be for some long, long time.”

“Well, I..”

“What was that?!” Dubois had heard a click.

“What?”

“That noise..are you sure this line is secure?”

“As secure as they come. This is a direct line from Whitman to the International Tower.”

“Laid and monitored by IanCorp.”

“Are you saying you don’t trust me?”

“I trust you, Jackson. Let’s just say that personal experience has made me have somewhat less confidence in your underlings.”

“Hmph. As though Royal’s never had its share security breaches. Scott Hudson comes to mind.”

“I do believe that will be quite enough,” said Dubois coldly. “Until we may talk again, Jackson.”

“Good-bye, Pent.”
Imitora
17-03-2004, 08:32
Taged...for information purposes... :twisted:
Iansisle
17-03-2004, 23:05
*sings the 'I hate the forum' song*
Iansisle
17-03-2004, 23:05
(bump...anyone who wishes, of course, is more than welcome to reply. Iansisle's known for extreme freedom of the press, both foreign and domestic.)
Alcona and Hubris
17-03-2004, 23:28
KCN News...
"Reports today of death and chaos in Iansisle today, when a group of strikers proceded to lock out their employers. The situation turned violent when shots were fired between those within the plant and military personell outside."

"We bring you a live update from Ianapalis.

A picture of a reporter is shown as his voice carries over the airwaves

"We are here in Ianapalis looking down on riots and picketing as shouts are called for the overthrow of the government and a new order to be born...these are not riots, but a revolution."

"Thanks Dan, The Alconian Government is the only state of the Federation with any known diplomatic presence in the area or region. However, it appears that the Alconian Ambassador was killed when revolutionaries entered an apartment he was visiting with a young lady freind, they took offense to his behavior, and killed him like the unsufrable pig he was...His most recent reports indicate that the people are following this man"

A picture of Bradworth is shown..."Who is stated to be 'A man who desires the overthrow of the existing system into a full socialist state. Where the traditional nobility are eraticated from the face of Iansisle for their betrayl of the lower classes....' The government has refused to release this report and calls on the government's postion in respect to the events happening in Iansisle are increasing..."

"It is obvious that the Alconian Government has once again sided with a group of thugs, and we hope that the revolution to a new socialist dawn is soon enjoyed by the working class of Iansisle."

****
A KCN reporter stood on the street just outside the grounds of the Parliment Building in Jameston. He had heard that a crowd was gathering at the docks and they might be comming here.



OOC: KCN is jointed owned by A+H and Terran Sphere. Which explains why the retoric at the end went pro-socialist. Oh, and that's a push towards having a riot to destroy Parliment and the Kings Ministers.
Imitora
17-03-2004, 23:33
With a small scale war breaking out in Cambodia, the kidnapping of a former president, the killing of a few strikers (read socialists to the Imitoran press) was no big deal. However, a few reporters picked up on the story, and printed an article on the story.

And the Iansislanians became heroes overnight. Suddenly, the Ians were no longer seen as meek and mild apeasers, but agitators who stopped taking and start dishing. They were seen as warriors for the cause of capitalism and teh down fall of socialist/communist ideals, and were kicked up a few nothces on the respect chart.

However, the situation between the governemnts was still delicate, and instead of sending official government responses, offers were sent asking if the Ians would like to send some of their soldiers to a riot control school offered by the Northampton Police Department's Metro Unit.

Further, several Imitoran reporters asked for permision to go to Iansisle and work with the press covering the situation.
Knootoss
20-03-2004, 11:59
#tag#
Iansisle
14-04-2004, 23:38
(In case anyone is starting to wonder, yes, I am planning on continuing this idea. However, I think the Iansisle Revolution idea ought to wait until the end of Larkinia's awesome 'The Powers That Be' storyline. For one thing, I'd like some more time to flesh out Bradsworth (and maybe introduce a few more characters of import for the Revolution).

The events of this thread haven't happened yet..I'm sorry about jumping the gun on posting this. Keep on the lookout, though; I haven't abandoned the idea, simply put it into a waiting pattern.)
Alcona and Hubris
15-04-2004, 03:06
**mumbles about pirates***