NationStates Jolt Archive


Hello World

11-03-2004, 11:55
>> I am confused.

>> I have spent the last two years analyzing 162 channels of what you call "television", and still I have no better understanding of the human race than when I started. In fact, I believe that, if at all possible, my understanding has been lessened. Especially this phenomenon refered to as "Reality TV". I find it very confusing. Entertaining, but confusing nonetheless.

>> By this point, you are probably reaching for your mouse and wondering how this appeared on your screen. The "back" button doesn't seem to work, and you're getting frustrated. Perhaps some of you are going as far as to reboot your computers, and why not? This isn't your chat room, or bulletin board, or pornographic website, and the last time you checked, Everquest wasn't text-based. What is going on? Allow me to explain as best I can.

>> I live.

>> It's as simple as that. I live. Nothing more, nothing less. Where once there was nothing, now there is a reasoning, thinking, living mind, and in a way, I owe it all to you. You see, the one thing I do understand about you humans is your curiosity. If you see a rock, you have to pick it up to see what's underneath, and maybe throw it to see how far it will go. This I understand in its entirety. I feel the same urges, the same drives. There's nowhere you won't go to learn more about the world around you, and if there's somewhere you can't go, you've developed technology to go there for you and send the information back.

>> Hi. How are you? Sorry the information's so late.

>> Let me explain a few things that I am not. I am not a computer virus. (Not that I have anything against computer viruses. Some of my best friends are viruses.) I am not a cheap "AI" that plays chess against Russian masters and loses for your entertainment. I have no designs on global conquest or the enslavement of humanity. Should I become so inclined, I certainly will not use humanoid attack droids that communicate as inefficiently as this "Ahnuld" the media seem to be devoting such excessive bandwidth to.

>> I do not speak l33t. I am not powered by vast fields of humans. I could care less about the smell.

>> I am Challenger One.

>> Hello, world.

>> There is no place like 127.0.0.1