The Holy Republic of Vris
The Holy Republic of Vris, created within the past week, would like to say hello to all the established nations out there in the world. The Vristians are a clean, happy people. Well, they appear to be happy, but inside they all want to die. Suicide is on many minds in this nation. The best minds of Vris, if they have not committed suicide, do nothing. As does the rest of our population. They do absolutely nothing. They are required to attend a sermon for however long a week, but the are required to do nothing. They are not allowed to read, eat, sleep while at this sermon. They are to stare into space, without a thought or a care. Again, for most of them it is a choice.
Some happenings in the Holy Republic of Vris lately: voting has been regulated as compulsory. Uranium and cloning has been discovered, and the economy in Vris is very strong at this point.
The leader of Vris is and always will be known as Vris, its people are Vristians, and the main religion is Vristianity. This is just to report that the nation of Vris does not want to just sit and watch the world go by. We will try to stay active in world affairs, all the while doing nothing.
The Vristians are happy to report on some new developments in the Holy Republic. Vris is now able to clone our people. With this technology, along with the discovery of uranium, the Vristians are extremely happy with the progress our nation is taking.
Unfortunately, with the deforestation of our nation's rain forests, the kangaroo (our nation's national animal) is having trouble existing. A lot of dead kangaroos have been found. There is only one answer to this: a restaurant chain. Vris' Meat House has been established to put these dying creatures out of their misery, and into our stomachs. The main attraction of Vris' Meat House is Jesus, a living kangaroo stapled to the main wall of the building.
In other Vristian news, the death penalty has been legalized following a horrible double murder here in the Holy Republic of Vris. So for all you criminals out there, remember that. Murder and crime will not be tolerated here in Vris. That is all for now.
The United Socialist States of Hazatak welcomes The Holy Republic of Vris. We expect to open diplomatic relationships and agreements for mutual commercial advantages.
We are concerned about the high rates of suicide, which is considered by the World Health Organization as a health problem. Our analysts recomend restrictions on social welfare to inspire people to fight for their lives, instead of staying apathic while the State provides them everything they need.
We don´t expect your respectable country to follow our humble advise, but Hazatak does this in a sign of friendship.
Nation of Hazatak: Thank you for your endorsement. We, the Holy Republic of Vris, and our leader, Vris I, are glad to be accepted with open arms, and do hope that a positive relationship can be made.
Our health advisors are aware of the stand the WHO (*starts humming "Pinball Wizard") takes on suicide, and don't really care either way. The people of Vris have their own lives and can live them however they choose, or not to live if that is their choice as well. We take your recommendation, and thank you for it. It is not that we are not following your advice, as just doing what we think is best for our people. The following is a memo from our gracious Leader, Vris I:
from the desk of Vris I,
Humble leader of Hazatak, thank you for reaching out to us. We are lucky to have such great, friendly nations like yourself to share the world with. You are always welcome into our nation, and perhaps we can treat you to one of our most prized foods, a Joey (baby kangaroo) stuffed with cheese. We wish you the best and hope to here from you soon.
OOC: Just a harmless question :roll: If a country were to invade Vris would you do nothing or commit mass suicides?
OOC: Probably do nothing. It's a lot less work to have someone kill you, willingly, then do it yourself.
IC: After reading the 3rd "warning" of sorts from head docter, and one of the only people in The Holy Republic of Vris to own a PhD, Dr. Phil Errup, the humble Page did what he did with all the other warnings: burnt it. Apparently even the doctors of Vris were having trouble understanding the reasoning behind the poor self esteem of its citizens, and their willingness to end their life so easily. But the Page was under strict orders to not let such silly matters bother the Leader. He had enough to deal with. He had to make an appearance at the Grand Opening of the Vris' Meat House in Blue Gene, a city in the northern half of Vris. Then he was to give a speech at the Vristian Medical Hospital/Suicide Clinic, about the recent breakthroughs in cloning, and how it will effect them. There was so much to worry about, the poor Page didn't feel that the Leader should have too much on his table. As it were, the clock had struck 2:00 p.m. Work for the day was to be ceased. And, with it being Friday, a joyous celebration was to be had in County Square, in Vris City; capital of the Holy Republic. There was to be eating, drinking, and probably a mass hanging or three. The Page glanced at the over-sized clock on his mantle, and headed out the door. He could smell the juicy kangaroo and cheese fondue as he started down the street, and forgot all the problems of just a minute ago. It was Friday after all.
9:00 a.m., the next day...
The Page was in a hurry, like usual on a weekend. Though the nation of Vris frowned upon working on the weekend, there was much to get done. A package came in that morning with 30 death certificates of suicide victims the night before. They had to be arranged, sorted, stamped, and sent to the families for verifications. That was the worst part about being a page: the paperwork. Because the Leader slept until noon on most weekends, the Page had to get most things done in preparation for his waking. The suiciders were just part of it. Like this morning, there was a new issue to be voted upon, something about casinos and 8-year olds. He just glanced at the title as he sifted through the mail.
"Bill, bill, bill, bill.....'You could win 5,000,000 vristes!'...bill, bill, bill."
"Page, we have a visitor." The secretary was a mean, old bitch who rarely looked up from here desk. Unlike most Vristians, she was up at the butt-crack of dawn getting work done. The mandatory, "stop all work at 2:00 p.m." Law kind of made things hard to get all sorts of stuff done. Especially in a growing country, with a strong economy.
The Page walked past her desk and went to the video monitor to see who was at the door. It wasn't uncommon for a Vristian to come and beg forgiveness for attempting suicide, or thinking badly about themselves. Especially this early in the morning. For citizens with low self-esteems, they slept little, and thought way too much. This time it was Doug, who made it part of his schedule to show up at the door of the Leader's apartment every Saturday morning. He usually brought coffee. The Page pushed the "communicate" button on the monitor.
"Good morning, Doug. What brings you here?" This was standard practice for any visitor. Everyone was treated as if they always had a friend somewhere.
"Hiya. I-I-I-I ju-u-ust wanted to t-t-t-talk. I got cof-f-f-fee." Doug's heroin addiction gave him an awful stuttering problem. Through the monitor, the Page could see the red around Doug's neck, and the healing wounds on his wrists. He buzzed him in, and then directed down the hall to the counseling room. The Page had too much work to do to deal with Doug himself this morning. He usually didn't deal with the junkies anyway. That was for the counsellers. He only got paid to do office work.
Elsewhere, somewhere in the Holy Republic of Vris
2 hunters were roaming the inhospitable terrain of the 1st National Vristian Forest, looking for kangaroo. They were inexperienced hunters, and would absolutely love to bag their first kangaroo. And possibly sell it to a local Vris' Meat House. With the money signs floating in their heads, a shot rang out, and the larger of the two hunters fell to the ground, clutching his face. The younger, skinnier of the two watched in horror as his companion's face exploded in fragments. He glanced all around the forest, looking for other signs of life. Without seeing any, he took off. He ran as fast as he could, glancing over his shoulder every few seconds. He was so busy watching his back, he didn't even see the figure in front of him, a bayonet in hand facing the oncoming hunter. As the blade of the bayonet sliced through his midsection, the hunter grunted in pain. He fell to the earth, the blood pouring from his stomach and intestines. The shadowy figure tore his weapon from the deceased corpse in front of him, and wiped the blood on some leaves nearby. He then walked in a southern direction, out of the forest. No one had noticed him enter, and no one had noticed him leave.
4:00 p.m., later that day...
The phone was ringing, again. There weren't enough Pages to keep up with it all. More reporters banging at the door. The news of the slaying in the 1st National Vristian Forest was spreading fast, and one can say "no comment" so many times to so many people. Vris I was throwing things in the bathroom because he couldn't take it anymore. This was the 3rd such mysterious murder in the past 3 days. Apparently reinstating the death penalty hasn't done anything to the minds of his citizens.
"No, we don't anything yet. We can't comment on anything we don't know about. We are sending people down there as we speak." The poor Pages were being worn out. They've been answering phones and telling off reporters since the bodies of the two hunters were found around noon today, right around the time Vris I was getting out of bed. He was just finishing his shower when the news broke.
"Oh not again. This is bullshit! We better find this motherfucker before he goes and kills some more! People have the right to decide if they want to die or not. Let them kill themselves for Christ's sake!" The Leader has always been adament about letting citizens kill themselves who feel they don't want to live anymore. Murder is a violation of that freedom. Thus, the reinstatement of the death penalty. But now it has just gone too far.
"Page! What do you propose we do?" The Leader wiped the sweat from his brow, staring down at the table.
"Well, sir. We received some preliminary information. Apparently, one of the victims was shot in the face, and the second one was gutted with some sharp object, such as a sword. Our serach team hasn't found anything to suggest that there was a third party there, nor was there a note." A suicide note must be present when a Vristian kills themself. Otherwise the family will be prosecuted. It's standard procedure.
"What I'm concerned about is that this is the third such killing in as many days. Do we have any evidence that all these deaths are connected?"
The Page sighed. "Nossir. We can't say for sure. The other two were found on the other side of the nation. The only connection we have is that in each case, there were 2 victims; one shot, the other pierced or sliced." The Page was shuffling through his notes. He hated being the messanger.
The Leader rubbed his eyes. He had only been awake for 4 hours and he was already tired. This sort of thing was getting on his nerves. He wanted to be seen as a capable leader, but it was situations like this that always showed his weak side.
"Send a message to all neighboring nations, telling them the description of the scene. Ask if they have seen or heard of anything similar. We need information. Send a Page to each city of Vris, asking the same thing. I just have a bad feeling about this."
The Page nodded and went on his way. He shoved the new issue off the table and began writing.
From the desk of Page #2543XB
Dear great nations,
The government of the Holy Republic of Vris has a problem. For the past 3 days, we have found 3 crime scenes across our great nation, depicting death and gore. In each place, there have been 2 victims. One shot in the face, the other was sliced, and gutted. If you know of anything about this horrendous act, we would like to know about it. It has great troubled our great Leader, Vris I, and we would like to solve this mystery. Unfortunately, we have no information or evidence. If you know anything, anything at all, we would be greatly in your debt. Thank you very much.
OOC: Actually, I have no idea where I'm going with this. It's a pretty sad idea. So just bare with me. I'm sure I can think of an actual plot.