NationStates Jolt Archive

Associated Press -- Mechico City

Today, 650 armed insurgents usurped control of several key buildings in Mechico City. Supposedly funded by a coaltion of three prominent drug cartels, the insurgents declared what they called "the official independence of the Mechican people and return to the republican ideals of the Tenotchitlan city-state.

The Asadas, Baristas, and Enchiritos, three of the more dominant drug cartels in central Mechico recently allied together to form what they call the Armed Republic of Tenotchitlan (tARoT). Thouh Federico Asada, Ricardo Barista, and Felipe Enchirito all represent mildly powerful cartels within the country, Federico Asada has been representing the allies in press releases.

"The Mechican people have long been abused, neglected, and taken advantage of by the MRP, Senor Asada said this afternoon after insurgents took over three newspapers and Mechico's two largest television stations, as well as a hospital, a local community college, and a taqueria.

The MRP, or Mechican Party of Republicans, has been in almost complete control since Mechico's independence 43 years ago. During this time, the elite members of the party have benefitted greatly while the overall standard of life has decreased sharply.

"I have lived in Mechico all my life," says Rogelio Armando, a Mechican coca farmer, "and I support anyone who promises to bring prosperity to my country."

The Mechican government quickly mobilized its Political Complacency Force, under the command of veteran Lt. Gen. Eduardo Gomez, to surround the city. Unfortunately the 5500 member PCF is poorly equipped and even more poorly trained. Without international aid, the PCF can barely contain the insurgents much less control them.

The 650 tARoT insurgents are highly trained, highly motivated, and very well armed. For the past two decades, all of Mechico has been plagued by bloody feuds between rival drug cartels. The insurgents are rumored to be veterans of these "Drug Wars.

Many of the nation's poor look for some sort of change, no matter how radical. Without international aid, tARoT forces will be forced into a standstill battle with the PCF that may take years. Sr. Asada pleaded to the international community in his press release:

"The Armed Republic of Tenotchitlan is a body dedicated to free trade and democracy. The MRP has illegally intruded upon the rights of the Mechican people for two generations and finally we are standing up for what is right. Myself and my partners beg of any nation dedicated to the ideals of a true republican government to send aid in the form of weapons, troops, or liquid assets to help democracy flourish in Mechico."

When asked about his dealings with illegal drug trafficking, Sr. Asada quickly changed the topic and invited the press to his multi-billion kilo ranchero for tacos and cervezas.

When asked about his dealings with illegal drug trafficking, Sr. Asada quickly changed the topic and invited the press to his multi-billion kilo ranchero for tacos and cervezas.

Francis, ABC correspondent, enjoyed the trip. Nothing better than a coup d`etat to see something interesting... Of course, he meant the young woman, perhaps even girl, sitting at the pool a dozen or so meters away.

"In any case... I`m pretty sure our audience will agree that it is the right of the people to choose their government. and in this case, the government is Sr. Asada & friends, don´t you think so?" He asked his aide and fiancee, Linda Stevenson.
"Indeed. This poor people..."
"Not to mention that the champagner is excellent... I wonder, are they of aztec origin? The name and all... I think I will need to ask Asada about it, later. Might make for an interesting background story... "The poor population, enslaved by the racist Republicans, enforcing their inhuman rule upon the people of the city for countless generations..."
"And, uh... what about the drugs?"
"I`m sure we get discounts." Again, he looked at this cute thing at the pool. And hopefully not only for drugs...

Associated Press -- Mechico City

Today, 650 armed insurgents usurped control of several key buildings in Mechico City. Supposedly funded by a coaltion of three prominent drug cartels, the insurgents declared what they called "the official independence of the Mechican people and return to the republican ideals of the Tenotchitlan city-state.

The Asadas, Baristas, and Enchiritos, three of the more dominant drug cartels in central Mechico recently allied together to form what they call the Armed Republic of Tenotchitlan (tARoT). Thouh Federico Asada, Ricardo Barista, and Felipe Enchirito all represent mildly powerful cartels within the country, Federico Asada has been representing the allies in press releases.

"The Mechican people have long been abused, neglected, and taken advantage of by the MRP, Senor Asada said this afternoon after insurgents took over three newspapers and Mechico's two largest television stations, as well as a hospital, a local community college, and a taqueria.

The MRP, or Mechican Party of Republicans, has been in almost complete control since Mechico's independence 43 years ago. During this time, the elite members of the party have benefitted greatly while the overall standard of life has decreased sharply.

"I have lived in Mechico all my life," says Rogelio Armando, a Mechican coca farmer, "and I support anyone who promises to bring prosperity to my country."

The Mechican government quickly mobilized its Political Complacency Force, under the command of veteran Lt. Gen. Eduardo Gomez, to surround the city. Unfortunately the 5500 member PCF is poorly equipped and even more poorly trained. Without international aid, the PCF can barely contain the insurgents much less control them.

The 650 tARoT insurgents are highly trained, highly motivated, and very well armed. For the past two decades, all of Mechico has been plagued by bloody feuds between rival drug cartels. The insurgents are rumored to be veterans of these "Drug Wars.

Many of the nation's poor look for some sort of change, no matter how radical. Without international aid, tARoT forces will be forced into a standstill battle with the PCF that may take years. Sr. Asada pleaded to the international community in his press release:

"The Armed Republic of Tenotchitlan is a body dedicated to free trade and democracy. The MRP has illegally intruded upon the rights of the Mechican people for two generations and finally we are standing up for what is right. Myself and my partners beg of any nation dedicated to the ideals of a true republican government to send aid in the form of weapons, troops, or liquid assets to help democracy flourish in Mechico."

When asked about his dealings with illegal drug trafficking, Sr. Asada quickly changed the topic and invited the press to his multi-billion kilo ranchero for tacos and cervezas.

Associated Press -- Mechico City

Fighting continued this weekend as the tARoT insurgents distributed rice, beans, and tacos as well as automatic weapons and narcotics to 200 students at the Mechican University. Pablo Dinero, the president of the student body demanded the rebelious students to throw down the arms (though not the narcotics). Sr. Dinero was promptly murdered in his dorm room while watching a rerun of this week's Survivor.

All across the nation of Mechico City, several important dignitaries, cartel leaders, and businessmen were found murdered. Casualties occured with increasingly cruel and unusual attacks. Marcos de la Rosa, leader of the powerful de la Rosa cartel in southern Mechico, was found disembowled and being fed to his prized chihuauas by servert Anastacia Corazon.

"They came with guns and knives. My boss cried like a little girl. Then they gave me an uzi and told me I am a freedom fighter. Viva las carnitas!" Anastacia said, brandishing her fully automatic weapon. The chihuauas seemed very happy, hungrilly wolfing down their former master.

Unfortunately for Sr. Asada, after waking up to a large plate of huevos rancheros, found that his twin daughters, age 4, were dead in their cribs, tightly wrought cords around their necks. The largest cartel in the country, the Pinedas took accountability for the attack. Sr. Asada, in a shaken address to the Mechican people and enemy cartels vowed, "I will go to the far ends of the earth and devote every gram, kilogram, and metric ton of my resources to the downfall of the Pinedas and any other oppressive drug cartel daring enough to hurt my children. Viva las carnitas!"

Fortunately for Sr. Asada and the other cartel leaders of tARoT, several smaller cartels all over Mechico vowed to raise arms in defense of the Mechican people. Now, seven families assume the leadership of tARoT, though the heads of the other groups have given Asada the most visible role in leading them. With the addition of the other four families, insurgent forces, tARoT troops number just under 1000, as well as the 200 armed students at the Mechican University.

The PCF, in retaliation, pressed 1200 police officers and narcotics agents into service. Confident, Lt. Gen. Eduardo Gomez, the leader of the Political Complacency Force, said tARoT forces will be routed before Good Friday. He said in a press conference this afternoon, "These rebels will be quickly crushed and brought forth before the courts and be punished accordingly."

Towards the end of the conferance a young boy, Coaxa Tlacopixl, age 13, forced his way to the Lt. Gen. Gomez and was shot dead by his armed escort. The boy was carrying a manila envelope. Inside the envelope were glossy photographs of Gomez's wife taking a bath. Dozens of other photos of his commanders' wives and children bathing, eating dinner, and going to school were found in the manila envelope. Choking, almost to the point of tears, Lt. Gen. Eduardo Gomez ended the press conference without further comment.

Coaxa Tlaopixl in his last dying breath screamed, "Viva las carnitas!"