NationStates Jolt Archive

[The scene opens in a small office, probably a closet, there is a small desk with a laptop on it, the laptop is opened up to the national website of the Dictatorship of Wossamata. The leader of the nation, Willie Winkovitz spins around in his chair and begins speaking to himself ...]

WILLIE: Gee, I need to do something with this police force. Even though we are a day-old nation, we still need a solid police force. I could recruit the second born child of every family, but that's avoidable. I could randomly abduct half of the population, but that's avoidable as well, as they'd just move to some [other] third world nation. Hmm ....

[Willie thinks to himself, and then begins to write a letter. It reads ...]

"Ladies and Leaders:

It has come upon my attention that the new Dictatorship of Wossmata is growing by the minute ... and the hour ... and the day ... and the - well, you get the picture. Anywho, the Parliment of Wossmata will soon vote on a solution for creating a solid police force. When we arrived in the Region of World Powers, we decided to create a solid military force by recruiting troubled youth and rehabilitating criminals (murderers and the sort). However, while they prepare for possible war, we need an alternative way to recruit members to the national police force. Any countries that offer valid suggestions will recieve national recognition, acceptance into the region, and the sense of having an ally.

Thank You,
Willie Winkovitz
Dictator of Wossamata

We of The Ineffable Empire would be willing to lend you some police to help keep your crime rate under control. As for recruiting your own, there are many possible methods. You could promise them massive salaries, but keep your expenditure by raising income tax as well. You could make it compulsory for everyone over the age of 18 to join either the police force or the army for a ten-year period.
As for alliances, we offer you our hand in friendship. We feel you would make a good addition to the GDODAD, and, although you cannot technically join until you reach a size of 50million, we will protect you until that time, if you wish our friendship.

His Imperial Majesty, The Great Ineffable Bob. Emperor of The Ineffable Empire, Head of The GDODAD, Councillor of Metus.

We the people of Wossamata are pleased to have gained your friendship, and your police force will be welcomed with open arms into our rising nation. Income taxes are already 44%, so I will have to stop soon, because I don't want them to rise too high over 99%, but raising sales taxes and the proposed tax tax (a tax that taxes other taxes) are other viable solutions.

Tomorrow, the Parliment of Wossamata will vote on requiring that all males over the age of 18 enlist in our only two armed forces at this time: the Army and the Navy. A select group will be selected for active duty and the rest will be put on reserve status where they will be called upon during war time.

As far as the GDODAD is concerned, Wossamata is a stickler for international rules and regulations, so we would like to join the legal way. Once our population reaches a high-enough status, we will formally request initiation. For now, we are pleased by your open arms and protection. You can count on us to accomany if you do get caught in war.

- Willie Winkovitz

(Hail Wossamatta hail!
Better we should be in jail!
Hail Woss-a-matta U!

http://www.inkyfingers.com/Jenna/R&B.wossamatta.gif)

<OOC: First off, I apologize for posting in the wrong place, if anybody noticed. I thought I had clicked "reply" but apparenly had clicked "new topic". Second, yes, I did get the name from Bullwinkle. Note the word "wink" in my fantasy leader's name>

;)

The Dominion of Kotterdam greets the Dictatorship of Wossamata, and welcomes you to the international community. We too know the difficulties that can arise from the question of enforcing one's laws. While your methods of recruiting and training your police force are your own business, allow us to share our experience with you.

The Dominion, until recent times, had a distinct problem with crime, especially of the violent variety. At one point in our near history, it became quite evident that despite gun control laws, our criminal element was better equipped and better armed than our average policemen. With a large portion of our population serving currently, or recently having left military service, and combining that with the ready availability of high-quality weapons on the black market, police mortality rates were quite high.

The modern Dominion National Police Service officer is a very different animal than his predecessor. He is a highly-trained, well-armed and equipped professional officer of the law, a living, breathing avatar of the code of justice that makes our country great. He is trained to a standard that grants him an edge in the urban jungles of our cities, and equipped with the finest hardware our corporations can produce. The DNPS has the additional benefit of serving as an additional defensive reserve force during times of war.

The average DNPS Foot Patrol Officer is in excellent physical condition. He must be able, not only to pursue a suspect for several blocks, but must be able to catch his prey. Simply chasing him is not enough. Once he catches the suspect, he must be able to subdue him. To this end, he is trained in hand-to-hand combat, and equipped with a baton, and pepper spray. Certain convicted felons have been heard to remark that, given a choice, they would rather be pursued by a K9 unit than a DNPS officer because the dog can't climb a ladder or scale a six-foot tall fence to chase after them.

In terms of lethal armament, the DNPS FPOs are equipped to a degree that matches the average police service's Special Weapons and Tactics Unit. The primary weapon of the DNPS Foot Patrol Officer is the Heckler & Koch MP5K-PDW submachine gun, with a Smith & Wesson Sigma 9mm Pistol as a secondary sidearm. The purpose of this armament, as well as the intimidating armoured vest worn by all DNPS Foot Patrol Officers is twofold. First, it gives them a distinct advantage over the run-of-the-mill criminal. As well, it lessens the likelyhood of resistance. Imagine, if you will, a DNPS Officer - Six feet tall, broad shouldered, clean cut and smooth-shaven, bearing down at you with a German submachine gun cradled in his arms. A DNPS officer in pursuit of a suspect is an intimidating sight indeed, especially when you are the suspect in question.

Most importantly, though, DNPS Officers are equipped with a suite of personal electronics, including a personal GPS transponder that broadcasts their location to the central control station, a head-mounted camera that records and transmits everything the officer sees and hears, and a voice-activated radio to keep him in contact with the station house. This, as well as the officer at the station who monitors the feed, means that an officer is never alone. Should an officer encounter a situation that requires assistance, the monitor will dispatch additional units to his location immediately.

We understand that such resources may currently be beyond your nation's means, but we are more than willing to train your police force, passing along the expertise born of years of enforcing the law in exchange for certain trade concessions, and a possible military partnership. A number of corporations within the Dominion are currently looking to expand into foreign markets, and in exchange for allowing them access to your country's labour force, we could forge a friendship between our two nations that, with luck, will withstand the test of time.

Sincerely,
Prime Minister Scott Haley
Dominion of Kotterdam

http://www.cybersluagh.com/ErisKallisti/scott1.jpg

Prime Minister Haley:

The Dictatorship of Wossamata is highly appreciative of your services to our young nation. We are pleased to be accepted into international society so quickly. For at least some police force training, we would be glad to accompany you onto the battlefield and establish a fair, solid trade policy between the two nations. Also, we would be glad to contribute a percentage of our force once they are fully trained. Both the Dominion of Kotterdam and the Ineffable Imperial Dominion of The Silver Turtle have been recognized throughout Wossamata. We appreciate your suggestions and support, which has been extremely useful.

I mentioned in an earlier letter about the tax tax (a tax which taxes other taxes). This could prove an integral part of the government's income. The Dictatorship of Wossamata would like to ask if this is a sensible idea (because if it is sensible, then we can arrange for a higher rate.)

- Willie Winkovitz