NationStates Jolt Archive

In a scene of chaos a session of the UN was interrupted yesterday by a bolshie tart from East Hackney attempting to serve writs upon two of the top diplomats of the Nation of Oppressed Peoples of the Nac Mac Feigle.

The writs, in the names of 'Mr Rory Bigger than Big Rory an' Much Bigger than Wee Rory' and 'Mr Taller than Hamish but no' as Broad as Hamish Hamish', cited a number of scurrilous charges.

Mr Taller than Hamish bu no' as Broad as Hamish Hamish was unavailable for comment and is believed to be in hiding in Walthamstow, when we interviewed Mr Rory Bigger than Big Rory and Much Bigger than Wee Rory in the UN Strangers Bar, he said of the accusations, "Flibble, wok kinda slurfle...burp!" before he passed out.

It is understood that Mr Rab Ever'one, the 'Big Yin' is to protest to the East Hackneyan Government in the strongest possible terms. When asked what these terms might be he refused to comment, but would not rule out 'a good kickin' and a heid-job'.

A Nac Mac Feigle Government employee has leaked to the BBC that there is complete confusion within the Chalk-pit Clan, as to whether the allegations made by the East Hackneyan Lawyeress were an attack on the two diplomats concerned, Mr Rory Bigger than Big Rory an' much Bigger than Wee Rory and Mr Taller than Hamish but no' as Broad as Hamish Hamish, or whether they were meant as a compliment.

In a statement a Feigle Government Spokesman said that he could not confirm or deny the leak, but that an approach was to be made to Joccia to speak to the East Hackneyan Lawyeress on the Feigle's behalf as none of the Feigles were willing to risk being fooled again.

Our correspondent at the UN believes that another leak is about to come from Mr Rory Bigger than Big Rory and Much Bigger than Wee Rory, and hopes that someone has provided him with a large bucket.

In a shock development today, the Joccian Foreign Ministry ruled out the possibility of mediating with the East Hackneyans on The Wee Free Men's behalf. Their spokesman, Mr Andy MacNamarararamarh said:

"We have some experience of the East Hackneyan forms of diplomacy, and we're rather wary of 'mixing it' with them. Their diplomats do not appear to be able to hold their drink, and resort to spiteful name-calling at the least opportunity."

In an announcement today the Nac Mac Feigle spokesman for Foreign Affairs Mr. Tam the Gonagle No' Big Tam or Wee Tam said, that seeing as East Hackney weren't interested in a 'stramash', and as Joccia weren't going to 'he'p a body' there was no point in carrying on this 'maudlin' thrid' and the Feigle would, instead stick to cattle raids on East Hackney, as soon as they can find out 'war the buggers is hidin''.