Brazillico
25-02-2004, 01:40
A cheesy keyboard solo plays as two spotlights move around in a half-hazard fashion against a red, silk curtain. The live audience begins to roar as APPLAUSE lights come on in the studio.
Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Rib’s Revenge with your host, Steeeeeeeeeve Ribeiro!
The pudgy Steve Ribeiro jogs out through the curtains and waves to the crowd. He’s sporting a rather fastidious looking shiny-emerald blazer with common looking black slacks. The bright lights of the studio reflect off Steve’s carefully gelled black helmet hair and the multiple trinkets and jewellery he’s sporting.
Steve: Thank you for that warm ovation. For those of you who don’t know, this is a brand new show designed to let you, the viewer, decide how to improve our national team. *Steve pauses as the crowd cheers* Now I’m sure all of you have heard about the 1-0 loss we’ve just suffered at the hands of BSE Free Bovines. *Crowd boos wildly, not holding back the feeling of disgust towards their team* Yeah, I feel that way too. But you know what, with Rib’s Revenge, all that’s gonna change as we’re gonna drop some of the dead weight from the Chili Bats. *Crowd cheers* Without waiting any longer, here are the five randomly selected nominees on the Chopping Block!
Five dejected looking men stand on an elevated rectangular prism, known as the “Chopping Block”. The camera pans across the group, as the narrator give a brief description of each.
Narrator: Salazar was the national side’s starting goaltender, but some shaky performances his number one status in doubt. He’s 30 years old, plays his club ball for Real Libertad and is four time Serie A goalkeeper of the year. However, some lapses in concentration have caused him to let in some very weak goals and Brazillico is very deep at the goaltending position.
Palacio is in his second cup, participating in this edition primarily as a reserve defender. Despite being over the hill at 37, Palacio’s size and tackling skill command respect in the box and his motivational skills gain respect in the locker room. However, the Terrabella City defender’s pace is pretty much gone, allowing youthful strikers to run circles around him at will.
Junior Socrates is also in his second cup and is one of Brazillico’s starting midfielders at the tender age of 25. Renowned for his silky smooth world-class passing ability, the Real Libertad player also has decent size and a good nose for the net. Junior Socrates’ biggest fault is his lack of heart, gingerly moping around when the ball is in enemy hands, rarely coming back to play defence.
McMahon is out of jail for this special occasion after being busted for attempting to smuggle evisceratomato seeds into the country. McMahon is a gutsy midfielder, known for his hussle and stiff challenges. McMahon’s offensive skills remain relatively unpolished and did we mention he’s a felon who likes to eat evisceratomatoes?
Batista is the captain of the Chili Bats, and the third member of the Chopping Block who plays his club ball for Real Libertad. Batista’s a very well rounded defender, who uses his pace and tackling skills to stymie opposing wingers. Not much downside with Batista, besides his competitive nature which occasionally gets him into card trouble.
Steve: Thanks Mike for the rundown of the Chopping Block. Now I said earlier in the show that one of these players are going to be eliminated from the national side, but I don’t think I mentioned how. Here’s the exciting twist that’s going to make Rib’s Revenge a real hit. You, the viewers, will get to decide which of these five get killed live on national television! You’re saying it’s a bit too harsh? All they had to do was play a little harder and they wouldn’t be in this predicament.
Now, we also have another very special surprise and that is to decide how one of these unlucky fella is going to meet his fate. And to help us to do that, we have the Wheel of Misfortune!
A curvy woman wearing a rather flattering gown which matches Steve’s blazer struts out onto the stage in high heels, pushing the Wheel of Misfortune. The zoom up by the camera shows certain areas of the wheel with titles including, GUILLOTINE, LETHAL INJECTION and GORE. The woman reaches center stage and strikes a pose, pointing both arms towards the wheel.
Steve: Let’s give this girl a whirl!
Steve spins the wheel and the multicoloured sections give a real dizzying effect to the wheel. The wheel slowly starts to slow down and eventually settles on STEVE’S CHOICE. Lights flicker off from every direction as the crowd cheers wildly.
Steve: I don’t believe it, but it looks like I’m going to have to choose one! *Pauses for a second* Who here wants to see… The Human Piñata?
The crowd cheers wildly to show their approval.
Steve: For any foreigners watching the show, The Human Piñata was an ancient form of torture where the recipient was hung from his legs and blindfolded, while being assaulted by several men with baseball bats. I gotta say, it’s been a while since we saw one of those on TV!
Alright, well that’s all the time we have for today, if you want to vote on who will be served Rib’s Revenge, just go to our website and put down your vote, and we’ll give you the results tomorrow. Same bat time, same bat channel, good night folks!
The crowd cheers as Steve Ribeiro exits towards the Chopping Block. Steve stops as if to say something to the five members, and receives a swift kick in the mouth from Junior Socrates. Two beefy security men run on stage and tackle Junior Socrates off the chopping block, behind the camera’s view. His teammates jump down to his rescue and a mad melee ensues. The final shot of the show is one of Ribeiro holding his jaw, blood trickling out of his mouth, with a crazed yet calm look in his eyes, knowing that at least one of the men down there would be victim to his revenge tomorrow.
Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Rib’s Revenge with your host, Steeeeeeeeeve Ribeiro!
The pudgy Steve Ribeiro jogs out through the curtains and waves to the crowd. He’s sporting a rather fastidious looking shiny-emerald blazer with common looking black slacks. The bright lights of the studio reflect off Steve’s carefully gelled black helmet hair and the multiple trinkets and jewellery he’s sporting.
Steve: Thank you for that warm ovation. For those of you who don’t know, this is a brand new show designed to let you, the viewer, decide how to improve our national team. *Steve pauses as the crowd cheers* Now I’m sure all of you have heard about the 1-0 loss we’ve just suffered at the hands of BSE Free Bovines. *Crowd boos wildly, not holding back the feeling of disgust towards their team* Yeah, I feel that way too. But you know what, with Rib’s Revenge, all that’s gonna change as we’re gonna drop some of the dead weight from the Chili Bats. *Crowd cheers* Without waiting any longer, here are the five randomly selected nominees on the Chopping Block!
Five dejected looking men stand on an elevated rectangular prism, known as the “Chopping Block”. The camera pans across the group, as the narrator give a brief description of each.
Narrator: Salazar was the national side’s starting goaltender, but some shaky performances his number one status in doubt. He’s 30 years old, plays his club ball for Real Libertad and is four time Serie A goalkeeper of the year. However, some lapses in concentration have caused him to let in some very weak goals and Brazillico is very deep at the goaltending position.
Palacio is in his second cup, participating in this edition primarily as a reserve defender. Despite being over the hill at 37, Palacio’s size and tackling skill command respect in the box and his motivational skills gain respect in the locker room. However, the Terrabella City defender’s pace is pretty much gone, allowing youthful strikers to run circles around him at will.
Junior Socrates is also in his second cup and is one of Brazillico’s starting midfielders at the tender age of 25. Renowned for his silky smooth world-class passing ability, the Real Libertad player also has decent size and a good nose for the net. Junior Socrates’ biggest fault is his lack of heart, gingerly moping around when the ball is in enemy hands, rarely coming back to play defence.
McMahon is out of jail for this special occasion after being busted for attempting to smuggle evisceratomato seeds into the country. McMahon is a gutsy midfielder, known for his hussle and stiff challenges. McMahon’s offensive skills remain relatively unpolished and did we mention he’s a felon who likes to eat evisceratomatoes?
Batista is the captain of the Chili Bats, and the third member of the Chopping Block who plays his club ball for Real Libertad. Batista’s a very well rounded defender, who uses his pace and tackling skills to stymie opposing wingers. Not much downside with Batista, besides his competitive nature which occasionally gets him into card trouble.
Steve: Thanks Mike for the rundown of the Chopping Block. Now I said earlier in the show that one of these players are going to be eliminated from the national side, but I don’t think I mentioned how. Here’s the exciting twist that’s going to make Rib’s Revenge a real hit. You, the viewers, will get to decide which of these five get killed live on national television! You’re saying it’s a bit too harsh? All they had to do was play a little harder and they wouldn’t be in this predicament.
Now, we also have another very special surprise and that is to decide how one of these unlucky fella is going to meet his fate. And to help us to do that, we have the Wheel of Misfortune!
A curvy woman wearing a rather flattering gown which matches Steve’s blazer struts out onto the stage in high heels, pushing the Wheel of Misfortune. The zoom up by the camera shows certain areas of the wheel with titles including, GUILLOTINE, LETHAL INJECTION and GORE. The woman reaches center stage and strikes a pose, pointing both arms towards the wheel.
Steve: Let’s give this girl a whirl!
Steve spins the wheel and the multicoloured sections give a real dizzying effect to the wheel. The wheel slowly starts to slow down and eventually settles on STEVE’S CHOICE. Lights flicker off from every direction as the crowd cheers wildly.
Steve: I don’t believe it, but it looks like I’m going to have to choose one! *Pauses for a second* Who here wants to see… The Human Piñata?
The crowd cheers wildly to show their approval.
Steve: For any foreigners watching the show, The Human Piñata was an ancient form of torture where the recipient was hung from his legs and blindfolded, while being assaulted by several men with baseball bats. I gotta say, it’s been a while since we saw one of those on TV!
Alright, well that’s all the time we have for today, if you want to vote on who will be served Rib’s Revenge, just go to our website and put down your vote, and we’ll give you the results tomorrow. Same bat time, same bat channel, good night folks!
The crowd cheers as Steve Ribeiro exits towards the Chopping Block. Steve stops as if to say something to the five members, and receives a swift kick in the mouth from Junior Socrates. Two beefy security men run on stage and tackle Junior Socrates off the chopping block, behind the camera’s view. His teammates jump down to his rescue and a mad melee ensues. The final shot of the show is one of Ribeiro holding his jaw, blood trickling out of his mouth, with a crazed yet calm look in his eyes, knowing that at least one of the men down there would be victim to his revenge tomorrow.