NationStates Jolt Archive


Wombat News: Generous Tourists Donate to Prolong Civil War

Wombat News
17-02-2004, 18:50
Steel Butterfly, Wombat News

The violent civil war which has killed hundreds of thousands of Steel Butterflies has become an attraction for affluent young NationStates tourists. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=117853)

Guides report that tourists are now giving money to insurrectionist gunmen and queuing to have their picture taken with masked rebels.

Guide Vlad Yawphul told Wombat News that "for many tourists, speaking to gun-toting rebels is an exciting experience. They get excited because they are not affected by the insurgency like the locals are."

Tappee-Oca tourist Fee Fie Phobofum told Wombat News of her experience with rebels in galactic western Steel Butterfly.

"I enjoyed chatting with them," she said, "and I gave them 5 dollars. They explained to me how they would use the donation for the insurgency."

"Normally I'm reluctant to donate to rebel scum because so much aid gets misspent on schools, clinics, food or saving themselves from their evil oppressors," she confided to our reporter much later, "rather than much-needed guns and explosives."

Tiburonianianian university student Nina Kaland admitted paying for photographs with rebels. "Soldiers are murderers and fascists," she explained, "except for Eric and this guy. He let me hold his gun."

Nina visited Steel Butterfly four months ago with her girlfriend Claire Mountjoy, who initially feared they would miss out on the civil war. "We were worried about peace negotiations," she confided, "but luckily no-body’s talking to anyone else. Phew!"

Celeriacian political science student Minnie Fluzzie also gave generously to the rebels, reminding Wombat News of our "duty as caring citizens". "Rebellion is definitely the best solution for the Steel Butterfly people," she said. "Just look how successful it was in Roania, Thellas and The Imperial Navy."

However, for eco-tourist Greta Mystes giving money to Steel Butterfly imperials is all about ecological sustainability. "It's like giving back to the civil war," she explained, "so it'll still be there for the next generation."

"Rebels in the hinterlands are one of the few remaining cultural experiences in Steel Butterfly," illuminated Greta, "especially since the government started exterminating large swathes of the population."

THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – THE MOTE IN THE EYE OF TRUTH
Thelas
17-02-2004, 19:41
Wombat, you mispelled my name. One "l" not two
Steel Butterfly
17-02-2004, 21:24
However, for eco-tourist Greta Mystes giving money to Steel Butterfly imperials is all about ecological sustainability. "It's like giving back to the civil war," she explained, "so it'll still be there for the next generation."

lol...haha 8)
Tarasovka
17-02-2004, 21:57
I already see WN title for my upcoming civil war:

Giant Vegetable on the loose. Governement seeks aid of vegetarians. :lol: