Edolia
13-02-2004, 19:32
Edolian Broadcasting Corporation (EBC); 1730 Broadcast
"Mass demonstrations swept the nation today as millions came out to protest the United Nations' decision yesterday to classify Edolia as an "Innofensive Centrist Democracy."
Cut to protester:
"It's just not right! What the hell do we have to do to show that we're not centrist? Start humping in the streets? God bless this great country, where a man and a woman -or a man and a man- are allowed to do that if they so please!"
"Law enforcement officials estimate that there were some twelve million demonstrators in over two hundred demonstrations across the country. They are demanding that the United Nations immediately reclassify Edolia as a 'Left-Leaning College State,' 'Civil Rights Lovefest' or 'Iron Fist Socialists.' The Imperator, Erik von Blatterschplitt agreed and spoke at the rally in the capital."
"Citizens! Tell me, are we innofensive?"
"HELL NO!"
"Are we centrist?"
"HELL NO!"
"I say we show them what we are!"
"Following the Imperators speech, the mass protests quickly turned into an orgy, the largest in our nation's history.
The Secretary General has not yet commented on these events.
...And in other news, four teenagers were killed in the hillcountry outside of Tetelburg today. It seems that they stumbled on a nest of Gray Ravager Gerbils and were unable to flee in time..."
"Mass demonstrations swept the nation today as millions came out to protest the United Nations' decision yesterday to classify Edolia as an "Innofensive Centrist Democracy."
Cut to protester:
"It's just not right! What the hell do we have to do to show that we're not centrist? Start humping in the streets? God bless this great country, where a man and a woman -or a man and a man- are allowed to do that if they so please!"
"Law enforcement officials estimate that there were some twelve million demonstrators in over two hundred demonstrations across the country. They are demanding that the United Nations immediately reclassify Edolia as a 'Left-Leaning College State,' 'Civil Rights Lovefest' or 'Iron Fist Socialists.' The Imperator, Erik von Blatterschplitt agreed and spoke at the rally in the capital."
"Citizens! Tell me, are we innofensive?"
"HELL NO!"
"Are we centrist?"
"HELL NO!"
"I say we show them what we are!"
"Following the Imperators speech, the mass protests quickly turned into an orgy, the largest in our nation's history.
The Secretary General has not yet commented on these events.
...And in other news, four teenagers were killed in the hillcountry outside of Tetelburg today. It seems that they stumbled on a nest of Gray Ravager Gerbils and were unable to flee in time..."