NationStates Jolt Archive


Anti-UN protests sweep Edolia

Edolia
13-02-2004, 19:32
Edolian Broadcasting Corporation (EBC); 1730 Broadcast
"Mass demonstrations swept the nation today as millions came out to protest the United Nations' decision yesterday to classify Edolia as an "Innofensive Centrist Democracy."

Cut to protester:
"It's just not right! What the hell do we have to do to show that we're not centrist? Start humping in the streets? God bless this great country, where a man and a woman -or a man and a man- are allowed to do that if they so please!"

"Law enforcement officials estimate that there were some twelve million demonstrators in over two hundred demonstrations across the country. They are demanding that the United Nations immediately reclassify Edolia as a 'Left-Leaning College State,' 'Civil Rights Lovefest' or 'Iron Fist Socialists.' The Imperator, Erik von Blatterschplitt agreed and spoke at the rally in the capital."

"Citizens! Tell me, are we innofensive?"
"HELL NO!"
"Are we centrist?"
"HELL NO!"
"I say we show them what we are!"

"Following the Imperators speech, the mass protests quickly turned into an orgy, the largest in our nation's history.

The Secretary General has not yet commented on these events.

...And in other news, four teenagers were killed in the hillcountry outside of Tetelburg today. It seems that they stumbled on a nest of Gray Ravager Gerbils and were unable to flee in time..."
13-02-2004, 20:06
lol
No-Dachi Yo
13-02-2004, 20:08
OOC : Thats a bloody good thread, I take my hat off to your sir/madam. The funniest thread I have seen in a long time.
Knootoss
13-02-2004, 20:22
OOC: lol - I had the same feeling when I was recently reclassified as "capitalizt". Ah, well, I'm back to anarchy now.
imported_Ilek-Vaad
13-02-2004, 21:34
We in Ilek-Vaad support the Edolian protesters. For too long have we been 'classified' like so much cattle by the UN. We fully support dismantling the UN and hope that protests like these will grow. We however take offence at 'centrist' and 'innoffensive' begin viewed as bad things. Being offensive and non-centrist is just rude. So in closing, we condemn the protesters for their offensive left of center protest.

Minister of Foreign Affairs, Ilek-Vaad


OOC: how's that for ambiguity?
Edolia
13-02-2004, 22:42
"Though we mean no offense to centrist and inoffensive nations, we must state that Edolia has an identity. And nowhere in that identity does it state that we are inoffensive or centrist and we take great joy in offending other nations. All those people on the General Forums who write 'Why Liberals are Devil-Worshiping Morons' for one.

Excuse me. It's time for my morning cannabis bath and orgy."
Matthew von Pickett
Minister for Foreign Affairs
13-02-2004, 22:42
How humerous.