NationStates Jolt Archive

Welcome!

Welcome to the current most popular sport in CornixPes, CHICKEN RACING! We hold regular races in multi billion pound arenas - and hundreds of chickens take part! Now, thanks to CornixPes's fabulous gambling industry... you can bet on which chicken you want to win!

All you have to do is post the chicken's name you are betting on, and the amount of money you want to bet. Once the time is up - using odds and dice rolls I will determine the winner and post it! I can assure you the wins will not be one sided and will al be done fairly.

This is how the betting goes -

If your chicken comes first: You get your money back - tripled!
If your chicken comes second: You get your money back - doubled!
If your chicken comes thrid: You get your money back + 50%!

If your chicken comes forth: You only get half back...
If your chicken comes fifth or below: You don't get your money back...

So come along and have a laugh - wager on CornixPes's TOP gambling sport of all time!

http://www.lastortugasvilla.com/views/chicken.jpg

Ok, here's the first race of the season. I can tell you now we've had a sellout this game, and there's 2 million people in the grounds. Even the CornixPes President turned up!

Ok, this is a 200 meters sprint, the competetors are:

- Sergeant Chickens // SPEED 10/10
Although Sergeant Chickens is an extremely fast chicken, he is not very reliable and has been seen to stop occasionally and have rest.

- Mrs fluffy // SPEED 1/10
Mr Fluffy is not always the most enthusiastic chicken, however she is reliable to give it her best shot.

- Agnus // SPEED 5/10
A nice all rounder, a fast chicken with a good pace.

- Edward the Great // SPEED 4/10
The oldest chicken in the business - not too reliable but was very fast in its time.

- Silly Mr Pepper // SPEED 2/10
This chicken is the dumbest ever, but has been seen to do well occasionally.

- Boris // SPEED 7/10
Boris is a very young chicken with some fast little legs, fairly reliable too.

- Masterful Moe // SPEED 9/10
Moe is the one who does tricks on the race track. It's fast but can slip up easily.

- Stinking Steve // SPEED 5/10
Stinking Steve's weight makes it not brilliant at maintaining speed, but when it picks up it can do very fast bursts.

PLACE YOUR BETS!

(Hint: Just because a chicken is the fastest doesn't mean it's the best at everything. Remember that!)

The race will start in about an hour, depending on the entries.

I vote for Boris. $500 USD.

Thank you, thank you! Check back later for the results! Let's hope you're a winner!

Ok, I'm going to put 500 million on Silly Mr. Pepper to get things going. I remind you that these races are totally fair and I work them out using dice rolls and statistics.

*After a few Drinks*

Minister for Sport: You know what sir.... There is now even *hic* chicken racing!

Prime Minister: Really! How *hic* does it work?

MfS: Well...hehehe... you put money on the chicken you think is going to win!

PM: Ooooooooooooooh! What are the options?

*MfS hands the PM a little black book*

PM: Monday night, went round to Rita's, not bad, had better....

MfS: Ooops, not that one, here you go.

PM: *Hic* Race one, I choose *waves hand over book laying his hand randomly in a part of the page* Silly Mr. Pepper!

MfS: Who's this Mr. Pepper and why is he silly? Hold it....You haven't gone and got another Minister of Defense from down the pub again have you?

PM: No, this is the name of the chicken!

MfS: Oh! I see!

PM: What is our national budget?

MfS: About 13 trillion Alans I think!

PM: Oh.... well, put 1 trillion on that Chicken then....

MfS: You'll have to cut spending on a department.....

PM: People won't notice small heath Service cuts.... What is the number again?

*Minister for Sport hands PM a piece of paper*

PM: 0800 997 662

*Phone Rings*

Lady on other end of the line: Hell, Sexual Favors are us, how may I help you?

PM: I'd like to go for a chicken please.....

Lady: Sorry were not that big on bestiphillia at the moment, you could try Animals are us.

*MfS grabs phone*

MfS: Sorry wrong number.

*Hangs Up*

MfS: Oops wrong number, try this one.

*Phone Rings*

Lady on other end of line: Hello you have reached the Chicken Racing Hotline who would you like to vote for?

OOC: Incase you haven't guessed we're putting 1 trillion on Silly Mr. Pepper

That's a big one! Let's hope he wins! Thank you and stay tuned!

So you didn't think Rita was that good either...?

Bump.

500 USD on Masterful Moe!


http://www.angelfire.com/ns2/toxicvalley/images/anna.jpg
-Anna Müller
Die Führerin

Good good, just a few more now and the race can begin!

I have the results now, does anyone want to place a bet before I RP it out?

Yes, I do.

Silly Mr. Pepper is the chicken. I wish to place a 6500 thousand dollar bid on him, just because......well just because.

Also, a 3500 dollar bet on Stinking Steve just for effort.

Ok good, anyone else now?

Ok good, anyone else now?

Going to bed now, results come in morning.

sorry i'm late on bets but 5mil on agnus

Don't bring in any Asian chickens! They might have the Bird Flu ...

Oh yes, 10000 on Boris.

Yippee! I've sent all of the Asian chickens back, we don't need them anyway - our chickens are the finest. The results are coming in a minute. This is everyone's last chance to bet!

Ok here's the race...

Here we go, the first race of the season. The crowd is set and the chickens are approaching the starting positions.

The guns gone and the chickens fly off of the start line!

It's neck and neck... wait, here comes Sergeant Chicken, he's pushing ahead... he's almost off of the ground, look at that speed!

Boris is closing behind him, followed by Masterful Moe. Boris and Moe are head to head... Sergeant Chickens is at least half a meter in front!

Ooh and it's a burst of speed from Stinking Steve, pushing right past Moe and Boris and into second position!

Hang on, Sergeant's loosing speed, Steve is approaching... oh, it's a flip from Masterful Moe that puts him into the lead!

Steve's dropping back... it's Moe, followed by Sergeant and then Boris. Angus is pushing head in forth - he's doing well, approaching Boris there!

Oh there's a burst of speed from Mrs Fluffy and goes right into forth! Oh no, she's down! Looks like a leg injury from here - she's stopped right in her tracks and down into last position!

Edward the Great's coming ahead, and he overtakes Angus! Sergeant Chicken goes with another burst and right into first!

Boris is fighting here for first position, and Angus and Ed are in forth, neck and neck! It's another burst from Masterful Moe and here's level with Boris in second!

Silly Mr Pepper has gone right past Angus and Ed and is going for third! Ooh and he's slowed, looks like a groin injury, but he's maintianing a run - now level with Steve!

The finish line is approaching, it's a flurry of feathers here at the front. Moe, Sergeant and Boris are still fighting for position number 1! Boris is getting pushed back, it's just Moe and Sergeant now. They're neck and neck, could this really be a tie, the crowd's going wild! Moe pushes into the front by a fraction...

And Over The Line!

Masterful Moe in 1st place, followed by Sergeant Chicken, then by Boris in 3rd, and here comes Silly Mr Pepper, pushing straight into forth, Agnus leaps ahead of Edward the great in 5th, stinking steve's in 7th, and finally Mrs Fluffy who's in 8th, carried off by a stretcher.

Ok, let's see.

Hoblingland: Boris came 3rd so you get $750!

CornixPes (me): Silly Mr Pepper came forth so I only get half back, 250 million.

Belmore Family: Ah yes the person who put a trillion dollars on the stupidest chicken on the track. Mr Pepper came forth so you only get 0.5 trillion back.

Super American VX: Well done! You put 500 on the winning chicken, Masterful Moe! You get 1500 dollars back.

Der Fuhrer Dyszel: You put 6500 on Silly Mr Pepper and he came forth, you only get 3250 back. You also put 3500 on Steve who came 7th, so that money is gone forever.

Experiment626: You put 5 mil on Agnus who came 5th, so you get nothing back.

Jeruselem: 10000 on Boris who came third so you get 15000 back.

It was a good match and I did the results fairly. Not many people did too well this game, put the next game will happen soon.

I regret to tell you Mrs Fluffy has a broken leg, and will probably not participate in any further races this season. Silly Mr Pepper has had to call it quits for the next 2 or 3 games after he recieved a groin injury. Edward the Great appears to be ill - we fear that it could be bird flu, so we've quarantined him. He hope all of these sick chickens to get well soon.

$500 says none of the chickens make it to the finish line! It's gotta happen eventually and the bookies are giving me great odds!

$500 says none of the chickens make it to the finish line! It's gotta happen eventually and the bookies are giving me great odds!

Lol. I'm sure at least one of them will make it. The first game is over, if you haven't read the results they're on the first page. The next race of the season will be soon, after the chickens are treated for exhastion.

MfS: Ummm, Sir, you lost 500 billion Alans....

PM: Oh well, let's bet the other 500 billion on the next race.

Lol, yeah the next race will be soon!

The next race is ready for bets! This is going to be a cross country run - probably half a mile across some fields and down a gully. Going to be a laugh, come on and bet!

- Sergeant Chickens // SPEED 10/10
Although Sergeant Chickens is an extremely fast chicken, he is not very reliable and has been seen to stop occasionally and have rest.

- Mrs fluffy
OUT WITH BROKEN LEG.

- Agnus // SPEED 5/10
A nice all rounder, a fast chicken with a good pace.

- Edward the Great
OUT WITH BIRD FLU.

- Silly Mr Pepper
OUT WITH HAMSTRING INJURY.

- Boris // SPEED 7/10
Boris is a very young chicken with some fast little legs, fairly reliable too.

- Masterful Moe // SPEED 9/10
Moe is the one who does tricks on the race track. It's fast but can slip up easily.

- Stinking Steve // SPEED 5/10
Stinking Steve's weight makes it not brilliant at maintaining speed, but when it picks up it can do very fast bursts.

- Wicked chicken // SPEED 6/10
A reliable and fairly fast chicken, has won races in the past. A new entry!

- Cheese // SPEED 7/10
Got this name because he stinks of cheese, and he eats it a lot. Not always really reliable but has a nice speed. A new entry!

- Chika Chika // SPEED 1/10
The reasons for entering this one is beyond me, as it is pathetically bad. A new entry!

- "Don't give a cow" // SPEED 5/10
A weird chicken but has an average speed and reliablity. A new entry!

PLACE YOUR BETS!

(Hint: Just because a chicken is the fastest doesn't mean it's the best at everything. Remember that!)

P.S. We wish all of the poorly chickens to get well soon.

1 million on Boris
1 million on wicked chicken

Thanks

50,000 on Wicked chicken!

1/2 a trillion on Angus.

The NCD government have put aside a small fund for the sport of chicken racing. On this occassion, we have raised a total of 12.63groats, so we will put this on Boris.