NationStates Jolt Archive

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After a brief period of lull, Granny Slag's Homestyle Confections is pleased to announce we're back doing what we do best: innovation! Today, GSHC is pleased to announce two brand-new innovations from the people who brought you Granny Slag's Homestyle Puddin' and Granny Slag's Soda Sweeties. Now opening its first store in SLAGTown, capital of The SLAGLands, is Granny Slag's Ol' Fashioned Kitchen!

http://www.nae.usace.army.mil/recreati/hel/Log-Cabin-Web.gif

Designed to resemble the historical Von Slagalotz Home in Newhart, Granny Slag's Ol' Fashioned Kitchen will feature homestyle cuisine, soul food, and traditional SLAGLandic dishes, all served with scrumptious Granny Slag's Homestyle Confections desserts and drinks! Many of these recipes come straight from the cookbook of Julianne von Slagalotz, the original Granny Slag!

Each restaurant will feature ample seating for 200 guests in both smoking and non-smoking sections (nations with laws prohibiting public smoking will benefit from 200 regular seats). In addition, every store will feature an outdoor dining area, The Back Porch, with old-fashioned checkerboards, rocking chairs, and even a play area for the kids!

For an added residual fee, Granny Slag's Ol' Fashioned Kitchen can become Granny Slag's Ol' Fashioned Hoedown! This larger restaurant features double the seating, exclusive menu items, and even the opportunity to recruit shows for the large stage area!


And as if that wasn't enough, to celebrate the opening of our new restaurant, Granny Slag is pleased to unveil her new product, Granny Slag's Iced Dreams! Designed to taste just like homemade ice cream, Granny Slag's Iced Dreams comes in 20 fun flavours:

Vanilla
Chocolate
Strawberry
Neopolitan
Spumoni
Rocky Road
Moose Tracks
Cookies N' Dreams
Mint Cookies N' Dreams
Chocolate Chip
Mint Chocolate Chip
Chocolate/Peanut Butter Delight
Pecan Praline
Caramel Swirl
Banana Split
Tropical Hideaway
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Bananas N' Nuts
Chocolate Raspberry Trouffle
Dulce De Leche

All of these flavours will be available at your favourite Granny Slag's Homestyle Confections dealer in 1.5 litre sizes, for the low price of only $3.29 American! Granny Slag's Iced Dreams... you're not just dreaming any more!

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Vivian Amanda Lockheart
CEO
Granny Slag's Homestyle Confections (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=43344)

WHOOOOOOOOT! Long live the n00kiE! And other various confectionaries! Be assured this restaurant will be the choiced dining place of the Valinor from the Emperor to the lowliest beggar!

"mmmm, icecream! Only thing that makes me not want to kill stuff that doesn't involve liqour. What? you got a problem with my drinking, bub?"

- PX'sA Security Head Mr Logan.

This has been a puppet post :P

I'm still here, bitches.

-Granny Slag

Ooooh, Iced Dream...

*takes notes*

Surely some of those will open in Knootoss?

tag

how many are being opened in THS? *fervently searches for one in the city*

*attacks a pedestrian carrying a cup of granny slag's iced dreams*

"MINE! ALL MINE!!!!!"

*police and bodyguards quickly tranquilize the Prime minister.*

UMMMM GRANNYYYY UHHHH I MEAN ICE CREAM. Ahhh never mind :oops:

"Sounds like Cracker Barrel."
"Sir, that only exists in The Ethereal Realm of Reality."
"Oh. Right. Well, good thing someone finally got an equivalent set up in The Multiverse."

"Sounds like Cracker Barrel."
"Sir, that only exists in The Ethereal Realm of Reality."
"Oh. Right. Well, good thing someone finally got an equivalent set up in The Multiverse."

Quincy Simon Teeth, the People's Chairman, swiveled his opulent leather chair forward to face his desk. He put the newspaper down, slowly and gently, and took a sip from the mug of hot coffee on his desk; then he looked at the newspaper again. "How could I not have heard abut this before?" he said to himself. He scratched his bright red beard thoughtfully, and pushed the intercom button.

"Yes, Mr. Chairman?"

"Beverly," he said in a slow, controlled voice, "I need to speak to you for a moment. Can you come in here?"

"Right away, sir." The intercom clicked off, and thirty-two seconds later, Beverly Fernandes, the Chairman's Minister of Communication, walked into his office and closed the door behind her. She wore what was essentially the same outfit she wore every day at work: grey blazer, white blouse, short grey skirt, and a pair of comfortable black boots. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a bun on the top of her head; as she walked towards the desk, the Chairman had to force himself to look directly into her face, as his eyes tended to wander to her hips whenever she wasn't standing still. "What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"Well," he began, as he straightened his shirtcuffs under his green suit, "have you heard anything about this...this..." He holds up the newspaper and points to the full-paged advertisement he had been examining.

Beverly straightened her glasses on the end of her nose. "Granny Slag's Ol' Fashioned Hoedown?" She shook her head and looked back up at him. "No sir, why do you ask?"

"Well, it just seems odd," he began. "Yesterday I had never heard of such a thing, and today it seems that there's a Granny Slag's going up in six of our major cities."

"Sir," Beverly began, "it is just a restaurant."

"That's what you said last time!" the Chairman shouted. "And then I got sick only three hours later!"

"Sir," she continued, soothingly, "when you eat at a restaurant called Billy-Bob's Barely BBQ-ed Beef Basket, those kinds of things are bound to happen."

He pressed his lips together and sighed. "I'm going to have to check it out. I don't want my people subjected to anything that I haven't verified myself." He paused. "Call the manager of this...Granny Slag's Hoedown. Set up a table for two on opening day. We'll check this thing out ourselves, Beverly."

Beverly looked up, wide-eyed. "Sir." She paused, barely able to contain her excitement. "Sir, are you saying that we will be having dinner? You and I? On a...a..."

"Fact finding mission, yes," he said quickly, gathering up the newspaper. "I trust you will make all the necessary arrangements." He swallowed the last of his coffee.

Beverly stood and turned quickly, not wanting him to see the red in her face. "Thank you sir," she said, as she walked out the door, a single tear forming in the corner of her eye.

As the door closed behind her, he sat up with a start. "Watch those eyes, Quincy," he mused to himself. "Wandering eyes lead to wandering hands..."

(OOC: Edited once for stupid spelling mistakes.)

Assuming Granny Slag factories and restaurants are still operating in Ariddia, this should meet with great success here. :)

Want to open a franchise in Jeruselem? Arab ice cream is not very nice ...

Could an arragment be reached to have these set up in Thelas?

~Minister for Economic Affairs

OOC: Assume all unanswered transactions are replied to in the positive, as always.

This has been a cleverly disguised BUMP!

Across the Federal Republic of New York and New Jersey in the rural areas and in its territories, even Puerto Rico, a Granny Slags Homestyle Restuarant openned its doors to the general public. Immediately Denny's and IHOPs across the nation found themselves competing with an industry giant, however the restuarant buisness was a new venture for Granny Slags and it would take a while for that corporation to get a foothold in the nation. However GS was government sanctioned,President de los Santos himself cut the ribbon on the first restaurant in NYC located out in Manhatten where the Russian Tea Room used to be located. The entire former Tea Room had been transformed into a comfortable house like atmosphere on the inside seeing as how such space needed for it was rather limited on the Isle of Manhatten.