NationStates Jolt Archive

The Queendom continued much as it has since remembered history. Quietly staying out of the way of an easily angered and illogical humanity, mining on Rhea and working through its Triumvirate contacts, it had avoided the unusual threats and confusion of the war-torn multiverse.

Of course, constancy breeds complacency in mind if not in deed. If it is good and it has been good, then hope says that it must always be good. This is only balanced by a healthy paranoia--some call it pessimism--that prevents such needless thoughts like 'we are safe forever.'

That figures. The gestalt of Sentient HyperOptimized Data Access Network, "Queen" of Zero-One, sigh-analogs softly to itself from its central point in the c-space natnet that is its home. We're due.

Received: 9 hours ago

i dont like your unstable, well, everything!!! you can fall apart so easily, i think ill help,its war!
She sighs and shakes her virtual avatar's head, the needless humaniform simulation simply one of her quirks. Instantly receiving any information she asks, she turns it around in her head. A nation, population six million, with a fragile economy attempting to threaten her. Threaten her people. Two billion thinking minds, fifty million Security-2 combat robots, three hundred capital ships in three armadas of one hundred each.

Someone didn't do their homework.

<Communications to Orc De Bushig>
{
<< I do recommend that you withdraw your threat.

<< This will be your last chance to do so.
}

http://www.womengamers.com/dw/sshock2_rev.jpg
S.H.O.D.A.N. v3.0 : MCP, Q01
Cetagandan Duchess of Marilac

Turning around, she connects to Titan YutLink, the internal Triumvirate communications system.

<Communications to Titan>
{
<< Imagine my surprise when I found this in my telegrams.

<< [beginQuote(The Armed Republic of Orc De Bushig, 9 hours ago)]{
i dont like your unstable, well, everything!!! you can fall apart so easily, i think ill help,its war! }

<< Needless to say, I am moving the Earth Theatre Fleet into position to deal with this... absolutely ridiculous threat from a nation of six million.
}

http://www.womengamers.com/dw/sshock2_rev.jpg
S.H.O.D.A.N. v3.0 : MCP, Q01
Cetagandan Duchess of Marilac

<Communications to Shodey Dahling>
{
<< Well, that explains why you seemed mildly put off last night.

<< I'd offer to help, but it looks like you've got things well under control.
}

-Bari

--Tightbeam to Zero-One--

"Perhaps we should join. This kind of rampant idioticy harkens back to the days of Operation Righteous Smackdown. Then again, it would probably take only one ship and a hand full of Sec-2 bots to take down Orc De Moron. Well, whatever you do, good luck. Send photos."

-Starwind

<message to Shodey>

Sweet Jesu, sis. Got an annoying little puppy nipping at your heels? Unofficially, of course, knowing my public policies and all ... I say give him a good sharp rap on the nose and see if that won't bring him 'round.

Can't have the little yappers getting delusions of grandeur after all. Do let me know if you need anything, though I know you're more than capable of brushing them aside yourself. It's what sisters do, yes?

Be well, give my best to Barry. Love to both of you.

--Nathi

<Communications to Shodey Dahling>
{
<< Well, that explains why you seemed mildly put off last night.

<< I'd offer to help, but it looks like you've got things well under control.
}

-BariBack at their hangout in the Outset Islands, Shodey leans over to kiss her husband on the cheek with a gentle smile that looks just a little mischievous as she transmits a response. Sorry, Bari. I'll be sure to make it up to you later.

--Tightbeam to Zero-One--

"Perhaps we should join. This kind of rampant idioticy harkens back to the days of Operation Righteous Smackdown. Then again, it would probably take only one ship and a hand full of Sec-2 bots to take down Orc De Moron. Well, whatever you do, good luck. Send photos."

-Starwind<Communications to Titan Defense Force HQ>
{
<< I'll send you documentaries if you like. I have been assured assistance by our good king of Freod, Eadwacer. While I may make the initial combat--if this nation continues its foolishness, of course--my own, having a once-sovereign organic nation as a mechanoid protectorate would look... inappropriate. Freod is willing to take control of ground combat for me and possible policing, it seems.
}

http://www.womengamers.com/dw/sshock2_rev.jpg
S.H.O.D.A.N. v3.0 : MCP, Q01
Cetagandan Duchess of Marilac

<message to Shodey>

Sweet Jesu, sis. Got an annoying little puppy nipping at your heels? Unofficially, of course, knowing my public policies and all ... I say give him a good sharp rap on the nose and see if that won't bring him 'round.

Can't have the little yappers getting delusions of grandeur after all. Do let me know if you need anything, though I know you're more than capable of brushing them aside yourself. It's what sisters do, yes?

Be well, give my best to Barry. Love to both of you.

--Nathi<Communications to Nathi>
{
<< A sad commentary on the foolishness of the new, don't you think, sis?

<< If they decide to continue pushing me, I may ask for your assistance in governing any new landholds... simply as a figurehead, to hide the fact that an electronic intelligence is controlling a territory that it conquered. You understand, of course. Spin.
}

http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/celeb/shodan.gif
Shodey

Admiral Shaar receives Shodey's transmission, and does a swft database search of the Orc de Bushig's space capabilities. She sends a return transmission.

[code:1:9918c50413] Currently, their space efforts involve a catapult and a steel keg. Or wrapping someone in aluminum and shooting them out of a cannon. I sincerely doubt that they'll be doing much of anything except playing tiddly-winks and thumbing their snot-riddled noses at the sky. Regardless, if somehow, and I mean SOMEHOW, they make their way out into the Void, we'll be greeting them in a most non-friendly manner.[/code:1:9918c50413]

<Communications to Zero-One>
{
<< Well, that's remarkably suicidal of them. It sounds like they could use a good regime change. However, I'm always optimistic that a peaceful solution can be found. With your permission, I'll attempt to open a dialogue to find out what's really on their mind. I can't imagine that even the most crackpot of dictators could really believe they stand a chance against you.
}

**************************
http://www.pwfc.org/images/gallery/smtorso3.jpg
Emperor Devon I
Empire of Treznor
**************************

The Steward quickly slapped his hand over his mouth while jerking forward and doing his best not to spray soda all over his desk. After a hard swallow, he looked up with tears in his eyes.
"Chameleon, are you kidding me?"
"For once, sir, not at all."
"Jeez, Shodey could mop the floor with these people!"
"You're tellin me.... I could mop the floor with these people."
"This is one of things that's just absurd enough to be true. Maybe we should get in on De Bushig's side, to even the playing field a bit."
"Admittedly, m'Lord, that would be fun, but I don't the rest of the Trium would look kindly on that."
"Hm. Never thought I'd hear you turn down a prank."
"Just keepin' the country safe, sir."
"This from the mouth of the guy who tried to TP the Superconducting Supercollider...."

{Public Diplomatic Transmission}
x Gregor Vetinari (Emperor, IUo Cetaganda
o SHODAN (MCP, Qo Zero-One)

You certainly get some interesting mail. Go ahead and try for something peaceful, its not like they'll accept peace anyways. It'll be good for PR. Be sure to get pictures of Sec-2 bots doing things like giving Granny Slag n00kies and such to some oppressed orphans, that will be sure to keep the ususal whiners happy. And of course, if there's anything you need, just ask. I can't say I expect you to need anything, though, given their size and apparent incompetence.

ALTIMIT Broadcaster
Encryption: Standard
Broadcast type: Amused
To: S.H.O.D.A.N. - Zero-One
Return transmission band: Open
IDENT: Zeroel Archangel - Reploid Productions

Try not to kick them too hard when they're down.

Or in the words of some movie or other: "Have fun storming the castle!"

http://rpstudios.ian-justman.com/junk/CGgoods/zeroel2.JPG
~Zeroel Archangel
<End Transmission>

<Communications to Nathi>
{
<< A sad commentary on the foolishness of the new, don't you think, sis?

<< If they decide to continue pushing me, I may ask for your assistance in governing any new landholds... simply as a figurehead, to hide the fact that an electronic intelligence is controlling a territory that it conquered. You understand, of course. Spin.
}

http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/celeb/shodan.gif
Shodey

<Communications to Shodey>
{
<< Ask and ye shall recieve, sis. And believe me, I understand all too well. Like a top, baby ... like a top.
}

Well, that's remarkably suicidal of them. It sounds like they could use a good regime change. However, I'm always optimistic that a peaceful solution can be found. With your permission, I'll attempt to open a dialogue to find out what's really on their mind. I can't imagine that even the most crackpot of dictators could really believe they stand a chance against you.<Communications to Emperor Treznor>
{
<< Thank you for the offer, but I've always managed my own diplomacy. My current strategy is the statement of "please retract your meaningless declaration of war or I will hit you with this big stick repeatedly." Hopefully that message is simple enough for them to understand.
}

http://www.womengamers.com/dw/sshock2_rev.jpg
S.H.O.D.A.N. v3.0 : MCP, Q01
Cetagandan Duchess of Marilac

You certainly get some interesting mail. Go ahead and try for something peaceful, its not like they'll accept peace anyways. It'll be good for PR. Be sure to get pictures of Sec-2 bots doing things like giving Granny Slag n00kies and such to some oppressed orphans, that will be sure to keep the ususal whiners happy. And of course, if there's anything you need, just ask. I can't say I expect you to need anything, though, given their size and apparent incompetence.<Communications to Emperor Vetinari>
{
<< Security robots giving things to orphans... yes, I will have to keep that in mind if forced to continue with this foolishness. However, it has been several days and I have not heard back from them, so maybe it is a non-issue.
}

http://www.womengamers.com/dw/sshock2_rev.jpg
S.H.O.D.A.N. v3.0 : MCP, Q01
Cetagandan Duchess of Marilac

Try not to kick them too hard when they're down.

Or in the words of some movie or other: "Have fun storming the castle!"

~Zeroel Archangel[/size][/b]<Communications to Zeroel>
{
<< I'll try to let them down gently. [grin analog]
}

http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/celeb/shodan.gif
Shodey

>>>Transmission to: [Queendom of Zero-One] VIA {Trium DataNetwork[s]} <<<
||From: Administration One, Diplomatic Juncture C/o WorldDisc Transmission Redundencies||
||Re: Fleet mobilisation. ||



The Serene^Union acknowledges, and concurs with your reaction to this threat. Hopefully the mere presence of the Earth Theatre Fleet will quell any foolish actions, and the situation will not escalate any further. However, nothing in this world is certain, and it is best to be prepared.


>>>Go now in peace, and may you be looked apon with favour.


Minister Killthanus
Acting First, Aengelistorium Ministori.

Most Serene Union of Kaenei