Wombat News
23-01-2004, 12:24
Moscow; Wombat News
Eight-year-old Vladimir Putin will face off against nine-year old Damien Dreadfire behind the bike sheds in the NationStates Elementary School car park Friday, sources reported. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=117946)
The fight will be to solve a days-old dispute about who called who what name.
“Vladimir and Damien were never really good friends,” said classmate Susie Slag. “But then someone told Vladimir that Damien was planning to steal his box of crayons. It was all kind of stupid. Vlad’s mum works in an art shop, so he has access to lots of different kinds of crayons. I think Vlad just felt uncomfortable not having control over the contents of his pencil case.”
Although the reports were later found out to be fabricated, the crayon incident left an uneasy hatred between the two boys. Experts hypothesise that these feelings of dislike surfaced when Damien showed up at school in with a brand new line in “Just Back from Hell” car stickers.
“Vladimir started whining about how Damien had stolen his idea,” said NationStates Elementary head teacher Violet Miggins. “Then he challenged Damien to a fight out in the car park. I really wanted them to get permission from the school council before starting the fight, but Vladimir insisted that he didn’t need permission from anybody to protect his own intellectual property.”
The fight is scheduled to begin just after classes on Friday afternoon. Each student has agreed to bring only ten friends to help with the fighting.
“I insisted that they follow a few simple rules,” said school caretaker Mimi Toram, during a telephone interview. “Each team is allowed to kill members of the opposing team with knives and guns, but chemical sprays are strictly prohibited. Additionally, combatants must not fire upon members of the opposing team who choose to surrender.”
Although millions of people around the world - including the NationStates Pope - have spoken out against the upcoming conflict, relatives of the children involved have felt a need to give unconditional support.
“Stab that bastard in the face!” screamed Vladimir’s mum. "Cut his knackers off!"
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – THE EYE IN THE SKY OF TRUTH AND JUSTICE
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg
Eight-year-old Vladimir Putin will face off against nine-year old Damien Dreadfire behind the bike sheds in the NationStates Elementary School car park Friday, sources reported. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=117946)
The fight will be to solve a days-old dispute about who called who what name.
“Vladimir and Damien were never really good friends,” said classmate Susie Slag. “But then someone told Vladimir that Damien was planning to steal his box of crayons. It was all kind of stupid. Vlad’s mum works in an art shop, so he has access to lots of different kinds of crayons. I think Vlad just felt uncomfortable not having control over the contents of his pencil case.”
Although the reports were later found out to be fabricated, the crayon incident left an uneasy hatred between the two boys. Experts hypothesise that these feelings of dislike surfaced when Damien showed up at school in with a brand new line in “Just Back from Hell” car stickers.
“Vladimir started whining about how Damien had stolen his idea,” said NationStates Elementary head teacher Violet Miggins. “Then he challenged Damien to a fight out in the car park. I really wanted them to get permission from the school council before starting the fight, but Vladimir insisted that he didn’t need permission from anybody to protect his own intellectual property.”
The fight is scheduled to begin just after classes on Friday afternoon. Each student has agreed to bring only ten friends to help with the fighting.
“I insisted that they follow a few simple rules,” said school caretaker Mimi Toram, during a telephone interview. “Each team is allowed to kill members of the opposing team with knives and guns, but chemical sprays are strictly prohibited. Additionally, combatants must not fire upon members of the opposing team who choose to surrender.”
Although millions of people around the world - including the NationStates Pope - have spoken out against the upcoming conflict, relatives of the children involved have felt a need to give unconditional support.
“Stab that bastard in the face!” screamed Vladimir’s mum. "Cut his knackers off!"
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – THE EYE IN THE SKY OF TRUTH AND JUSTICE
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg