NationStates Jolt Archive

Colin is a hard-nosed, hardly-working, semi-intelligent fellow who enjoys one of the most opulent lifestyles in the room, unless he is in the company of people with proper jobs, in which case they are variously better off than Colin and/or making fun of him.

Colin’s medium-sized, pro-monkey-business brain juggles the competing demands of watching Law & Order, worrying about religion & suffering crippling guilt, and defence against the many potential dangers lurking in his dank apartment. Colin pays a flat income tax of 3% just to be safe, as he woke up with a hangover and can’t quite remember where he lives*. A tiny income is dominated by the pizza delivery industry.

Crime is pervasive in Colin’s part of town. Colin’s Personal Space's most recognised animal is the head louse and its currency is primarily in pocket shrapnel form.

Colin’s big news today is that he’s landed a part-time job, and that as a result he gets to ride a little scooter. Score!


*If anyone knows Colin he would probably appreciate a call, unless he owes you money, which –let’s face it- he almost certainly does. If anyone should run into Colin on the street it would be a great relief to him if you could casually slip into conversation the name of the country in which Colin stands, you know, “Good old Canadian weather, eh?” Or something like that.

Inside scoop! Colin bluffs way into delivery work, doesn't know city well say synaptic sources!

Will Colin hold-on to his job? Will the pizza restaurant go bust paying for late deliveries? Will anyone tell Colin that many of his thoughts are being broadcast before the international community?

Having spent all evening scooting about town delivering pizza late and apology profusely Colin came home tired tonight.

He was puzzled to find a letter informing him that his gambling debt was the 82,942nd largest on earth. How much had he spent on the fruit machines last month while unemployed?

Colin was worried, but settled down to watch some TV before bed. There wasn't much he could do about it now.

Fifty-eight minutes later Sixty Minutes was over. Colin had half a mind to write an angry e-mail, but remembering that his ISP had cut him off after last month's non-payment he retired to bed in consideration of the deceptively short show.

That Peggy Falopian had a good point, really. Gay people always seemed so happy on those shows about entertaining happy gay people. Maybe Colin shouldn't rule-out gay relationships. He was getting pretty lonely since the tortoise he forgot to feed inexplicably died.

Colin ruled that he wouldn't be so dismissive in future. Maybe that would appease the evil monkey in his closet?

Either way, he needed to make some new friends. Maybe get a mortal enemy or two... besides the monkey.