15-01-2004, 03:59
**The commercial starts, a man with a Jamaican accent speaks throughout in the background**
The Uncharted Isles... An unspoilt paradise of lush forests... *aerial view of Uncharted Isles' forests, in which you swear you saw a Factory smokestack, but it cuts before you can be certain* captivating wildlife... *The ocean, interrupted only by the fins of a shark moving through the water* ...and friendly, native villages. *image of a modernly dressed woman being doted upon with food, draping flowers, and a cushioned throne which the men carry her upon on thier merry little way to the mouth of the local volcano seen in the corner of the view...*
A beautiful atoll with many miles of white beaches, and crystal clear waters... *image of the white beaches and the clear water washing up on the beach with a gentle ocean wave noise while a man runs into the water only to quickly run out screaming "ARGH!!! THAT IS COLD!!!"*
Enjoy our fine cuisine... *camera goes to a view of a man presenting a group of tourists what appears to be Medium Rare Squirrel on a stick* ... our luxorious, expensive cruise liners... *an image of a Cruise line at sea, followed quickly by images onboard, including the on-board gym, fine rooms, and dining hall with a beauty and clean-ness that you believe to be the best you have ever seen... that is until you see a rat scurry by in the corner of the screen...* ... the lush forests filled with a multitude of wildlife... *image of a Bottlenose Dolphin flopping around in the foliage before falling into a stream and swimming away* ... forests that are lovingly protected by our forestry expert corps. of ex-Eco Terrorists. *images of the smiling forestry experts on duty with AK-47s...*
And, of course, you can witness the great cultural experience of the Uncharted Isles... *camera views natives chanting while the chief stands before a Goat and Tourists watch taking pictures. The chief then draws a knife and stabs it into the Goat's neck. The Tourists scream and an elderly woman collapses dramatically...*
So come to the Uncharted Isles, where your wish for living on an uncharted island will finally come true...
**The commercial ends.**
*Meanwhile, the Grand Chief of the Uncharted Isles has finished viewing the commercial himself, and sits in a chair wearing a typical business suit and an elaborate hat of feathers.*
Grand Chief: So... you say this commercial has already aired across the world....
Random Gov Guy: Yes, Mr. Grand Chief.
Grand Chief: And they didn't think that maybe showing the Rat, goat sacrificing, and ex-Eco Terrorists would be a bad idea?
Random Gov Guy: Well, you did say you wanted the commercial done cheaply...
Grand Chief: Oh... Right.... *mutters* Doh!
Random Gov Guy: What was that, Mr Grand Chief?
Grand Chief: Nothing, nothing at all... just hire new commercial people, and I want the best this time!
Random Gov Guy: What about the old ones?
Grand Chief: Well, their contract was only for one commercial, so we shouldn't have to worry about them.
Random Gov Guy: Umm... well....
Grand Chief: Is something wrong?
Random Gov Guy: Well... since you fired the editors to put more money into that new Defense budget increase bill, no one was really around to check over the contract...
Grand Chief: Spell Check works.
Random Gov Guy: Well, in this case... it didn't... because the commercial number for the contract was written in numerical form and there was a slight typo...
Grand Chief: What do you mean?
Random Gov Guy: Two one's got put side by side accidently while the contract was being written. So instead of one commercial, they now have a contract for eleven commercials...
Grand Chief: Bill....
Random Gov Guy: Yes, Mr. Grand Chief?
Grand Chief: You're fired.
Bill (RGG): Yes, Mr. Grand Chief... *turns to walk out with his head down*
Grand Chief: Wait, nevermind... I just remembered I need someone to hire the editors back...
**Bill skips happily back**
Bill: Yes, Mr. Grand Chief! Right away, Mr. Grand Chief!
The Uncharted Isles... An unspoilt paradise of lush forests... *aerial view of Uncharted Isles' forests, in which you swear you saw a Factory smokestack, but it cuts before you can be certain* captivating wildlife... *The ocean, interrupted only by the fins of a shark moving through the water* ...and friendly, native villages. *image of a modernly dressed woman being doted upon with food, draping flowers, and a cushioned throne which the men carry her upon on thier merry little way to the mouth of the local volcano seen in the corner of the view...*
A beautiful atoll with many miles of white beaches, and crystal clear waters... *image of the white beaches and the clear water washing up on the beach with a gentle ocean wave noise while a man runs into the water only to quickly run out screaming "ARGH!!! THAT IS COLD!!!"*
Enjoy our fine cuisine... *camera goes to a view of a man presenting a group of tourists what appears to be Medium Rare Squirrel on a stick* ... our luxorious, expensive cruise liners... *an image of a Cruise line at sea, followed quickly by images onboard, including the on-board gym, fine rooms, and dining hall with a beauty and clean-ness that you believe to be the best you have ever seen... that is until you see a rat scurry by in the corner of the screen...* ... the lush forests filled with a multitude of wildlife... *image of a Bottlenose Dolphin flopping around in the foliage before falling into a stream and swimming away* ... forests that are lovingly protected by our forestry expert corps. of ex-Eco Terrorists. *images of the smiling forestry experts on duty with AK-47s...*
And, of course, you can witness the great cultural experience of the Uncharted Isles... *camera views natives chanting while the chief stands before a Goat and Tourists watch taking pictures. The chief then draws a knife and stabs it into the Goat's neck. The Tourists scream and an elderly woman collapses dramatically...*
So come to the Uncharted Isles, where your wish for living on an uncharted island will finally come true...
**The commercial ends.**
*Meanwhile, the Grand Chief of the Uncharted Isles has finished viewing the commercial himself, and sits in a chair wearing a typical business suit and an elaborate hat of feathers.*
Grand Chief: So... you say this commercial has already aired across the world....
Random Gov Guy: Yes, Mr. Grand Chief.
Grand Chief: And they didn't think that maybe showing the Rat, goat sacrificing, and ex-Eco Terrorists would be a bad idea?
Random Gov Guy: Well, you did say you wanted the commercial done cheaply...
Grand Chief: Oh... Right.... *mutters* Doh!
Random Gov Guy: What was that, Mr Grand Chief?
Grand Chief: Nothing, nothing at all... just hire new commercial people, and I want the best this time!
Random Gov Guy: What about the old ones?
Grand Chief: Well, their contract was only for one commercial, so we shouldn't have to worry about them.
Random Gov Guy: Umm... well....
Grand Chief: Is something wrong?
Random Gov Guy: Well... since you fired the editors to put more money into that new Defense budget increase bill, no one was really around to check over the contract...
Grand Chief: Spell Check works.
Random Gov Guy: Well, in this case... it didn't... because the commercial number for the contract was written in numerical form and there was a slight typo...
Grand Chief: What do you mean?
Random Gov Guy: Two one's got put side by side accidently while the contract was being written. So instead of one commercial, they now have a contract for eleven commercials...
Grand Chief: Bill....
Random Gov Guy: Yes, Mr. Grand Chief?
Grand Chief: You're fired.
Bill (RGG): Yes, Mr. Grand Chief... *turns to walk out with his head down*
Grand Chief: Wait, nevermind... I just remembered I need someone to hire the editors back...
**Bill skips happily back**
Bill: Yes, Mr. Grand Chief! Right away, Mr. Grand Chief!