14-01-2004, 23:28
I'm not sure whether this would go in this forum, but I wouldn't want it in general because I hate that forum. I think here is good because it talks about role-playing. Really BAD role-playing, but still, and it's funny stuff anyway. It could be yet another thread where newbies can learn what NOT to do.
I'm hoping to update this periodically. It's about these people from my school, one of them plays the game, and the other pretends to(psycho). These are our conversations about what to do in a war and such:
-----------------------------
Background: Maniaca is collaborating with a few other nations IRL to make a tank. These are the n00bs' suggestions about the tank.....
n00b 1: Hey, you should make a pedal powered tank. You could get like a million people to pedal it, and they would all have guns, and it would be so fast it could outrun a cruise missle.
n00b 2: Yeah, and it could have like no electronic stuff, so it couldn't be honed in on.
Me: That's stupid. Where are you gonna' get so many people to pedal a tank.
n00b 1: You just do!
Me: How about the infantry come up and chuck grenades at all the drivers, or lay down minefields if they're not in the UN?
n00b 1: There would be no infantry because they would all get shot!
n00b 2: How about this? You make a tank with a nuclear generator, and drive it into their nation. That way if they shot it, it would blow up and their country too!
Me: That's stupid. What about the other tanks?
n00b 2: You don't need any other tanks! Their whole country would blow up!
Me: What about the drivers?
n00b 2: They know what they signed up for!
--------------------End Convo-----------------
Background: Maniaca and Obscure Nation are talking about their tank project, when n00b 1 gets a bright idea.........
n00b 1: Hey, do you know what you could do? You could make this tunnel under a nation, and when you get under their capitol, you dig up and shoot a nuke at it.
Me: Oh yes, that would work. How about radar?
n00b 1: Radar doesn't work underground!
Non-partisan bystander: He's right.
Me: Okay, maybe it doesn't. So you're going to start a tunnel, wide enough to contain a nuke and hundreds of diggers, as well as deep enough so that it doesn't collapse and/or alert the people on top, way away from their border so they don't see you, then you're going to drive a nuclear missle and hundreds of men slaving away everyday and living on the SPAM in their packs, down the tunnel into the heart of their city, avoiding all of the water mains and sewage pipes without them noticing and killing you all.
n00b 1: How would they notice? It's underground!
Me: ROLLING NUKES AND HUNDREDS OF SHUFFLING FEET MAKE NOISE. THAT, AND UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR WORKERS TO STARVE, SO DO SUPPLY CARRIERS. ALSO, PLANES FLYING OVER HEAD WILL SPOT A GIANT HOLE IN THE GROUND. IF YOU BUILD IT TOO SHALLOW, THE NOISE WILL CARRY, AND YOU'LL RUN INTO POWER LINES. IF YOU BUILD IT TOO DEEP, THE LACK OF OXYGEN AND INTENSE HEAT WILL KILL YOUR SOLDIERS. This isn't like the Great Escape Tunnels! Miles long, and transporting a nuclear missle. I'm sorry, it doesn't work!
n00b 2: Hey, you could dig a tunnel under the whole world!(Yes, he actually suggested this)
Me: It would collapse, moron
n00b 2: That's the point! The world would fall in!
Me: *stares blankly*
-----------End Convo-------------
Next time: Increasing Earth's gravity in one spot, and I really mean it this time!
SURPRISE CONVO!!
Background: My friend Obscure Nation is talking over the internet with n00b 2.
n00b 2[12:02 PM]: sup?
Obscure Nation [12:02 PM]: Nothin'... I'm checking out the *classified* forums for NS
n00b [12:02 PM]: i'm not in the **
n00b [12:03 PM]: whatever that is
ON [12:03 PM]: **. And technically, everyone in ZyzoxII is.
n00b [12:03 PM]: what?
ON [12:03 PM]: We're an ** region
n00b [12:03 PM]: ohh
n00b [12:04 PM]: ** r boring! zzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
ON [12:04 PM]: That doesn't mean you actually have to do anything, but it provides safety for the region.
ON [12:04 PM]: Or any nation inside of it
n00b [12:04 PM]: they're boring cause we can't be invaded
n00b [12:04 PM]: that would be fun!!!!
ON [12:05 PM]: You're an idiot, n00b. You'd be torn apart in two seconds by anyone strong enough to oppose the **.
n00b [12:05 PM]: soo?
ON [12:05 PM]: You'd think it would be fun to die?
n00b [12:05 PM]: it's a game py, it's supposed to be furn
n00b [12:06 PM]: u can't die?
n00b [12:06 PM]: can u?
ON [12:06 PM]: Not technically, but if you're decimated by war, you are bound by morality not to do anything out-landish, seeing as your country just got whooped
n00b [12:07 PM]: soo what? u still have ur country and u just wait till another war
n00b [12:07 PM]: then u can "die" again!!!!
ON [12:08 PM]: But you can't do anything between then! Do you know how long it takes for a nation to grow back after a horrific war?
ON [12:08 PM]: YEARS, if ever
n00b [12:08 PM]: a mounth in the game though
ON [12:08 PM]: That's still a month you could grow and prosper!
ON [12:08 PM]: Building an even BIGGER army!
n00b [12:08 PM]: u still grow
n00b [12:09 PM]: but that's boring waiting and waiting and waiting and...
ON [12:09 PM]: Yeah, but your army will be decimated... besides, you don't even HAVE an army
n00b [12:09 PM]: u get my drift
n00b [12:09 PM]: so?
n00b [12:10 PM]: so u have a billion person army, then what
n00b [12:10 PM]: >
n00b [12:10 PM]: ?
ON [12:10 PM]: No, I don't. You shouldn't be a warmongerer, it'll only attract attention, and then someone will nuke you and glass your country over to 800 feet below ground!
n00b [12:10 PM]: ?
n00b [12:10 PM]: so use ur deradilazation gas and start coming back
n00b [12:11 PM]: besides nukes r boring
ON [12:11 PM]: But no one has a 1 bil. army! Most people don't even have 1 bil. citizens!
n00b [12:11 PM]: so
n00b [12:11 PM]: if u wait for as long as u r going to u will
ON [12:11 PM]: So you're retarded!
ON [12:11 PM]: n00b, you can't use gas if EVERYONE IS DEAD!
n00b [12:12 PM]: u can't die because u r in a nuke-proof bunker with some gas
n00b [12:12 PM]: or if u get glassed the gas automaticly releases
n00b [12:13 PM]: restoring ur destroyed nation to glory!
ON [12:13 PM]: ... You're retarded. There is no "nook proof bunker"
ON [12:13 PM]: And if you do get glassed, EVERYONE DIES!
ON [12:13 PM]: NO POPULATION TO REBUILD!!!
n00b [12:13 PM]: not if u r in hiding or exile
n00b [12:14 PM]: then u rebuild
ON [12:14 PM]: WTF are you talking about?
ON [12:14 PM]: EVERYONE WOULD BE DEAD!
ON [12:14 PM]: YOU CAN'T REBUILD IF EVERYONE IS DEAD!
n00b [12:15 PM]: ya offer people money out of ur stored up budget and over time u will be back to glory
ON [12:15 PM]: YOU CAN'T! THEY'RE ALL, ALL DEAD!!!
n00b [12:15 PM]: u would have a huge glass industry
n00b [12:16 PM]: not from other countries stupid
ON [12:16 PM]: Glassed over is just a term for EVERYTHING FLAT OUT AND DESTROYED
n00b [12:16 PM]: ya but u would have glass stuff still
ON [12:17 PM]: Technically, you wouldn't have anybody to run the industry because you'd all be DEAD.
n00b [12:18 PM]: not if u pay people out of ur budget left over to come from other countries, and they build the industry
ON [12:19 PM]: You're retarded. EVERYONE would be dead. There'd be no one to pay people. And no money for that matter, because money is basically only valued if your country is stong. And if your nation is glassed over, your money has no value anymore
n00b [12:20 PM]: u switch some money over to another strong country as u become a warmonger, and u go into hiding into 1 of ur secret puppet nations
ON [12:21 PM]: The currency would still be the same currency. Just because it's somewhere else doesn't mean it has no value
n00b [12:21 PM]: no u change ur currency to the other nations
ON [12:22 PM]: Then the other nation would have worthless currency, or currency that would be worth less.
n00b [12:25 PM]: what y?
ON [12:26 PM]: Because if you suddonly lose half of the population/ government supporting the money, it will go DOWN in value...
n00b [12:27 PM]: w/e
n00b [12:27 PM]: ur such a warmonger
ON [12:27 PM]: And thusly, the ignorance begins...
-------END CONVO---------------------
Background: More at the lunch table.....
Me: Front or rear-mounted engine?
n00b 1: Hey, do you know what would be great? You blow up a nuke on the moon so that it comes out of orbit and slams right into another nation you hate!
Me: *speechless*
n00b 2: Yeah! All the people would be like "Yahhhh, no!"
Me: A celestial body the size of the moon crashing into Earth would definitely KILL, EVERYONE.
n00b 2: After you blow up the nuke on the moon you move your nation off of Earth to another galaxy.
Me: Shut up. How would you blow up a nuke on the moon anyway?
n00b 1: You could increase Earth's gravity in one spot so that the moon slowly collided with the other nation.....
Bell rings.......
Background: the next morning, talking with noob 2
n00b 2: What you could do is get a giant laser into space and fire it at Earth so all of Earth would be destroyed!
Me: It wouldn't work, stupid! You'd die too!
n00b 2: You would move your nation to the moon before you launch it!
Me: YOU CAN'T MOVE YOUR NATION TO THE MOON.
n00b 2: Yes you can, you just move your nation to the region called the moon.....
Me: That's not the moon RP wise
n00b 2: Yes it is. The Factbook says "A giant banner was flown across the moon making it one big message in the sky....."
Me: You can't move there to weasel out of a war, or to BLOW UP THE WORLD
Bell rings again......
--------END CONVO--------------
I'm hoping to update this periodically. It's about these people from my school, one of them plays the game, and the other pretends to(psycho). These are our conversations about what to do in a war and such:
-----------------------------
Background: Maniaca is collaborating with a few other nations IRL to make a tank. These are the n00bs' suggestions about the tank.....
n00b 1: Hey, you should make a pedal powered tank. You could get like a million people to pedal it, and they would all have guns, and it would be so fast it could outrun a cruise missle.
n00b 2: Yeah, and it could have like no electronic stuff, so it couldn't be honed in on.
Me: That's stupid. Where are you gonna' get so many people to pedal a tank.
n00b 1: You just do!
Me: How about the infantry come up and chuck grenades at all the drivers, or lay down minefields if they're not in the UN?
n00b 1: There would be no infantry because they would all get shot!
n00b 2: How about this? You make a tank with a nuclear generator, and drive it into their nation. That way if they shot it, it would blow up and their country too!
Me: That's stupid. What about the other tanks?
n00b 2: You don't need any other tanks! Their whole country would blow up!
Me: What about the drivers?
n00b 2: They know what they signed up for!
--------------------End Convo-----------------
Background: Maniaca and Obscure Nation are talking about their tank project, when n00b 1 gets a bright idea.........
n00b 1: Hey, do you know what you could do? You could make this tunnel under a nation, and when you get under their capitol, you dig up and shoot a nuke at it.
Me: Oh yes, that would work. How about radar?
n00b 1: Radar doesn't work underground!
Non-partisan bystander: He's right.
Me: Okay, maybe it doesn't. So you're going to start a tunnel, wide enough to contain a nuke and hundreds of diggers, as well as deep enough so that it doesn't collapse and/or alert the people on top, way away from their border so they don't see you, then you're going to drive a nuclear missle and hundreds of men slaving away everyday and living on the SPAM in their packs, down the tunnel into the heart of their city, avoiding all of the water mains and sewage pipes without them noticing and killing you all.
n00b 1: How would they notice? It's underground!
Me: ROLLING NUKES AND HUNDREDS OF SHUFFLING FEET MAKE NOISE. THAT, AND UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR WORKERS TO STARVE, SO DO SUPPLY CARRIERS. ALSO, PLANES FLYING OVER HEAD WILL SPOT A GIANT HOLE IN THE GROUND. IF YOU BUILD IT TOO SHALLOW, THE NOISE WILL CARRY, AND YOU'LL RUN INTO POWER LINES. IF YOU BUILD IT TOO DEEP, THE LACK OF OXYGEN AND INTENSE HEAT WILL KILL YOUR SOLDIERS. This isn't like the Great Escape Tunnels! Miles long, and transporting a nuclear missle. I'm sorry, it doesn't work!
n00b 2: Hey, you could dig a tunnel under the whole world!(Yes, he actually suggested this)
Me: It would collapse, moron
n00b 2: That's the point! The world would fall in!
Me: *stares blankly*
-----------End Convo-------------
Next time: Increasing Earth's gravity in one spot, and I really mean it this time!
SURPRISE CONVO!!
Background: My friend Obscure Nation is talking over the internet with n00b 2.
n00b 2[12:02 PM]: sup?
Obscure Nation [12:02 PM]: Nothin'... I'm checking out the *classified* forums for NS
n00b [12:02 PM]: i'm not in the **
n00b [12:03 PM]: whatever that is
ON [12:03 PM]: **. And technically, everyone in ZyzoxII is.
n00b [12:03 PM]: what?
ON [12:03 PM]: We're an ** region
n00b [12:03 PM]: ohh
n00b [12:04 PM]: ** r boring! zzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
ON [12:04 PM]: That doesn't mean you actually have to do anything, but it provides safety for the region.
ON [12:04 PM]: Or any nation inside of it
n00b [12:04 PM]: they're boring cause we can't be invaded
n00b [12:04 PM]: that would be fun!!!!
ON [12:05 PM]: You're an idiot, n00b. You'd be torn apart in two seconds by anyone strong enough to oppose the **.
n00b [12:05 PM]: soo?
ON [12:05 PM]: You'd think it would be fun to die?
n00b [12:05 PM]: it's a game py, it's supposed to be furn
n00b [12:06 PM]: u can't die?
n00b [12:06 PM]: can u?
ON [12:06 PM]: Not technically, but if you're decimated by war, you are bound by morality not to do anything out-landish, seeing as your country just got whooped
n00b [12:07 PM]: soo what? u still have ur country and u just wait till another war
n00b [12:07 PM]: then u can "die" again!!!!
ON [12:08 PM]: But you can't do anything between then! Do you know how long it takes for a nation to grow back after a horrific war?
ON [12:08 PM]: YEARS, if ever
n00b [12:08 PM]: a mounth in the game though
ON [12:08 PM]: That's still a month you could grow and prosper!
ON [12:08 PM]: Building an even BIGGER army!
n00b [12:08 PM]: u still grow
n00b [12:09 PM]: but that's boring waiting and waiting and waiting and...
ON [12:09 PM]: Yeah, but your army will be decimated... besides, you don't even HAVE an army
n00b [12:09 PM]: u get my drift
n00b [12:09 PM]: so?
n00b [12:10 PM]: so u have a billion person army, then what
n00b [12:10 PM]: >
n00b [12:10 PM]: ?
ON [12:10 PM]: No, I don't. You shouldn't be a warmongerer, it'll only attract attention, and then someone will nuke you and glass your country over to 800 feet below ground!
n00b [12:10 PM]: ?
n00b [12:10 PM]: so use ur deradilazation gas and start coming back
n00b [12:11 PM]: besides nukes r boring
ON [12:11 PM]: But no one has a 1 bil. army! Most people don't even have 1 bil. citizens!
n00b [12:11 PM]: so
n00b [12:11 PM]: if u wait for as long as u r going to u will
ON [12:11 PM]: So you're retarded!
ON [12:11 PM]: n00b, you can't use gas if EVERYONE IS DEAD!
n00b [12:12 PM]: u can't die because u r in a nuke-proof bunker with some gas
n00b [12:12 PM]: or if u get glassed the gas automaticly releases
n00b [12:13 PM]: restoring ur destroyed nation to glory!
ON [12:13 PM]: ... You're retarded. There is no "nook proof bunker"
ON [12:13 PM]: And if you do get glassed, EVERYONE DIES!
ON [12:13 PM]: NO POPULATION TO REBUILD!!!
n00b [12:13 PM]: not if u r in hiding or exile
n00b [12:14 PM]: then u rebuild
ON [12:14 PM]: WTF are you talking about?
ON [12:14 PM]: EVERYONE WOULD BE DEAD!
ON [12:14 PM]: YOU CAN'T REBUILD IF EVERYONE IS DEAD!
n00b [12:15 PM]: ya offer people money out of ur stored up budget and over time u will be back to glory
ON [12:15 PM]: YOU CAN'T! THEY'RE ALL, ALL DEAD!!!
n00b [12:15 PM]: u would have a huge glass industry
n00b [12:16 PM]: not from other countries stupid
ON [12:16 PM]: Glassed over is just a term for EVERYTHING FLAT OUT AND DESTROYED
n00b [12:16 PM]: ya but u would have glass stuff still
ON [12:17 PM]: Technically, you wouldn't have anybody to run the industry because you'd all be DEAD.
n00b [12:18 PM]: not if u pay people out of ur budget left over to come from other countries, and they build the industry
ON [12:19 PM]: You're retarded. EVERYONE would be dead. There'd be no one to pay people. And no money for that matter, because money is basically only valued if your country is stong. And if your nation is glassed over, your money has no value anymore
n00b [12:20 PM]: u switch some money over to another strong country as u become a warmonger, and u go into hiding into 1 of ur secret puppet nations
ON [12:21 PM]: The currency would still be the same currency. Just because it's somewhere else doesn't mean it has no value
n00b [12:21 PM]: no u change ur currency to the other nations
ON [12:22 PM]: Then the other nation would have worthless currency, or currency that would be worth less.
n00b [12:25 PM]: what y?
ON [12:26 PM]: Because if you suddonly lose half of the population/ government supporting the money, it will go DOWN in value...
n00b [12:27 PM]: w/e
n00b [12:27 PM]: ur such a warmonger
ON [12:27 PM]: And thusly, the ignorance begins...
-------END CONVO---------------------
Background: More at the lunch table.....
Me: Front or rear-mounted engine?
n00b 1: Hey, do you know what would be great? You blow up a nuke on the moon so that it comes out of orbit and slams right into another nation you hate!
Me: *speechless*
n00b 2: Yeah! All the people would be like "Yahhhh, no!"
Me: A celestial body the size of the moon crashing into Earth would definitely KILL, EVERYONE.
n00b 2: After you blow up the nuke on the moon you move your nation off of Earth to another galaxy.
Me: Shut up. How would you blow up a nuke on the moon anyway?
n00b 1: You could increase Earth's gravity in one spot so that the moon slowly collided with the other nation.....
Bell rings.......
Background: the next morning, talking with noob 2
n00b 2: What you could do is get a giant laser into space and fire it at Earth so all of Earth would be destroyed!
Me: It wouldn't work, stupid! You'd die too!
n00b 2: You would move your nation to the moon before you launch it!
Me: YOU CAN'T MOVE YOUR NATION TO THE MOON.
n00b 2: Yes you can, you just move your nation to the region called the moon.....
Me: That's not the moon RP wise
n00b 2: Yes it is. The Factbook says "A giant banner was flown across the moon making it one big message in the sky....."
Me: You can't move there to weasel out of a war, or to BLOW UP THE WORLD
Bell rings again......
--------END CONVO--------------