11-01-2004, 04:05
A rapidly spinning image depicting the letters "CCN" whirls its way towards the center of the screen, halting in the center as a lightning-flash spits its away across the underside of the logo, leaving "Clivehimian Cable News" in sparking letters.
The camera veers to an olive-green suited news anchor gentleman in a black tie seated behind a desk, shuffling a stack of sheets in front of him. He sets them to the side and faces the camera.
"Good afternoon, Citizens. You are of course watching Clivehim's #1 news source, CCN; I'm your anchor, Jim Malden.
He turns to the side, and the screen changes to another camera angle, facing him again.
As many of you know, Clivehimian Public Officers have been spending the past two weeks viciously debating over an issue that has, much to the public's dismay, left for the most part undisclosed to the public for what they described as 'reasons protecting public order and safety.' Fortunately, our glorious leaders have concluded their debate this very hour and have given CCN the exclusive opportunity to disclose their final decision from the mouth of one of our very leaders. We now take you to the press room of Clivehim CENTCOM."
Supreme Commander 5th Star General Saghe T. Bernior is displayed, standing at a podium with the imposing Clivehimian emblem plastered on the front of it.
"Citizens, Civilians, and Liberals: I have some exciting news for you. Firstly, I have spent numerous hours with the Senior Public ARM Officers, as you all know already, debating with them over an issue which I will now reveal to you: There has been much civil unrest in our brilliant society, primarily caused by many citizen's inability to recognize just what an amazing nation and culture we've built for ourselves. And so, as many of us know, they behave as such. They organize protests to complain about the most menial of governmental problems, such as our unwillingness to send off troops to bring every third-world poverty-stricken nation to its feet. Or, perhaps, they might tell you that the laziest of our citizens, the bums who walk the streets, who have turned away their opportunity to serve in our glorious armed forces and join the ranks, deserve better treatment than the working man! What are we, citizens, friends? We are unmatched in our comradery, but does that render us communists? He pauses for a moment, allowing that to sink in. "I appear before you daily, dressed in battle dress uniform. But am I Fidel Castro? Am I Saddam Hussein? Do I seek to destroy you, to strip your pride from you, to make you inhuman, to make you nothing more but a nameless member of our society? NO."
He pauses again, furrowing his brow. After another moment, he straightens up again.
"But these malicious citizens do."
I am of course talking about the plague; the foreign threat that destroys our society from within. The liberals. The socialist threat that has destroyed nations before and now seeks to destroy ours. A widespread mental disorder; a threat that must be dealt with immediately.
But I am not Castro; the solution is not violence. The solution is reform. The solution is this:"
Bernior pauses again.
"The registered liberals and members of Liberally oriented parties, Democrats especially, of our glorious state have 48 hours to execute one of their two following options. They are to leave the Republic of Clivehim immediately, never to return until the day they die, or they are to enter our glorious Armed Service for 3 years of active duty, where they will truly learn to understand what mindset and values render our nation to be of the greatest, strongest forces to ever take residence on the face of the Earth."
He holds up his thumb
"Integrity."
Index finger
"Honor."
Middle finger
"Devotion."
Ring finger
"Comradeship."
Pinky
"And strength."
Do not even ask what will happen if a Liberal listening refuses to comply with this ruling... I love our people equally, but what must be done must be done.
I leave you now, beloved Citizens... enjoy your evening, and may God almighty continue to bless our Republic until the day we meet him."
The camera cuts back to the anchor, who is visibly alarmed as six armed members of the Clivehimian SOLDAT 33 Team storm into the studio and apprehend four people, leading them out.
"Ah... you heard it from Bernior, ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy your evening."
////////**CCN**\\\\\\\\\
Clivehimian Cable News
The camera veers to an olive-green suited news anchor gentleman in a black tie seated behind a desk, shuffling a stack of sheets in front of him. He sets them to the side and faces the camera.
"Good afternoon, Citizens. You are of course watching Clivehim's #1 news source, CCN; I'm your anchor, Jim Malden.
He turns to the side, and the screen changes to another camera angle, facing him again.
As many of you know, Clivehimian Public Officers have been spending the past two weeks viciously debating over an issue that has, much to the public's dismay, left for the most part undisclosed to the public for what they described as 'reasons protecting public order and safety.' Fortunately, our glorious leaders have concluded their debate this very hour and have given CCN the exclusive opportunity to disclose their final decision from the mouth of one of our very leaders. We now take you to the press room of Clivehim CENTCOM."
Supreme Commander 5th Star General Saghe T. Bernior is displayed, standing at a podium with the imposing Clivehimian emblem plastered on the front of it.
"Citizens, Civilians, and Liberals: I have some exciting news for you. Firstly, I have spent numerous hours with the Senior Public ARM Officers, as you all know already, debating with them over an issue which I will now reveal to you: There has been much civil unrest in our brilliant society, primarily caused by many citizen's inability to recognize just what an amazing nation and culture we've built for ourselves. And so, as many of us know, they behave as such. They organize protests to complain about the most menial of governmental problems, such as our unwillingness to send off troops to bring every third-world poverty-stricken nation to its feet. Or, perhaps, they might tell you that the laziest of our citizens, the bums who walk the streets, who have turned away their opportunity to serve in our glorious armed forces and join the ranks, deserve better treatment than the working man! What are we, citizens, friends? We are unmatched in our comradery, but does that render us communists? He pauses for a moment, allowing that to sink in. "I appear before you daily, dressed in battle dress uniform. But am I Fidel Castro? Am I Saddam Hussein? Do I seek to destroy you, to strip your pride from you, to make you inhuman, to make you nothing more but a nameless member of our society? NO."
He pauses again, furrowing his brow. After another moment, he straightens up again.
"But these malicious citizens do."
I am of course talking about the plague; the foreign threat that destroys our society from within. The liberals. The socialist threat that has destroyed nations before and now seeks to destroy ours. A widespread mental disorder; a threat that must be dealt with immediately.
But I am not Castro; the solution is not violence. The solution is reform. The solution is this:"
Bernior pauses again.
"The registered liberals and members of Liberally oriented parties, Democrats especially, of our glorious state have 48 hours to execute one of their two following options. They are to leave the Republic of Clivehim immediately, never to return until the day they die, or they are to enter our glorious Armed Service for 3 years of active duty, where they will truly learn to understand what mindset and values render our nation to be of the greatest, strongest forces to ever take residence on the face of the Earth."
He holds up his thumb
"Integrity."
Index finger
"Honor."
Middle finger
"Devotion."
Ring finger
"Comradeship."
Pinky
"And strength."
Do not even ask what will happen if a Liberal listening refuses to comply with this ruling... I love our people equally, but what must be done must be done.
I leave you now, beloved Citizens... enjoy your evening, and may God almighty continue to bless our Republic until the day we meet him."
The camera cuts back to the anchor, who is visibly alarmed as six armed members of the Clivehimian SOLDAT 33 Team storm into the studio and apprehend four people, leading them out.
"Ah... you heard it from Bernior, ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy your evening."
////////**CCN**\\\\\\\\\
Clivehimian Cable News