08-01-2004, 13:01
After a long game of dominoes, the answer was clear:
"No longer will we be rediculed for our beliefs..."
"No longer will we be persecuted for the way we choose to live our lives..."
"No longer will the lustfull act of pig slapping be frowned upon, we will start our own country!"
And thus, the tale of a nation was begun on the cold morning of January 8th, 2004.
Jebediah Muckbucket was the son of a pig slapper. Not the fanciest of jobs, but it brought home the bacon. Young Jeb's earliest memory was of his father out in the shack ironing his slapper (a fine glove of egyptian cotton blend). It was another morning and a long day of pig slapping was ahead!
His father's biggest beef was not his lot in life (hell, he was a 4th generation slapper) but that he got no recognition at all in the community. I mean, everyone respects the villiage idiot and really, other than forced economic perspective, what exactly does the idiot provide for the average man? Ha, not like the pig slapper...the foundation of any good community.
It was under these circumstances that young Jeb grew into the best damn pig slapper the nation of Canada had ever produced. Along with his fellow co-workers, pig slapping reached new heights in both technique and effectiveness.
It is time for Jebediah Muckbucket to leave the roost (along with all of his slapper breathern) and do as all great men with a questionable understanding of politics and $5 in his wallet...START A NEW COUNTRY!!!
Introducing the Rouge Nation of Lustfull Pig Slappers :?
A bit of info about our great nation:
The Rogue Nation of Lustfull pig slappers is a tiny, devout nation, notable for its strong anti-business politics. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 5 million enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.
The government -- a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass -- juggles the competing demands of Religion & Spirituality, Healthcare, and Social Welfare. The average income tax rate is 37%. Private enterprise is illegal, but for those in the know there is a slick and highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing.
Crime is relatively low, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare.
Our National animal is the Drunken Midget and our currency is dead moose carcasses...
Our first plans are to pump all of our resources into national security and a new armed force.
Until then, our nation (a land locked clump of $@#!) is to be heavily fortified and defended by "Honest" Joe Shmirk and John "Tiny" Tim. If you need directions to our capital, Joe and John will be happy to oblige.
Right now we're looking to import a few resouces. We have some beer and pretzels, but a couple hundred thousand pounds of chicken fingers would be a welcome sight. Oh yeah, and vegetables aren't necessary.
As far as exports all we have to offer in trade is some electricity (not too much, we don't want Quebec to notice we're borrowing from them) and of coarse we're more than willing to help any other nations in any pig slapping they might require. We also have a few experts in the bovine technique, but in all honesty swine are divine in our books!
If you have any questions please feel free to come over (bring punch and pie) as we don't yet have any mail sevice...Jack's still on vacation.
Your's truly,
Jeremy Hurkamer
Ambassador to the President
"No longer will we be rediculed for our beliefs..."
"No longer will we be persecuted for the way we choose to live our lives..."
"No longer will the lustfull act of pig slapping be frowned upon, we will start our own country!"
And thus, the tale of a nation was begun on the cold morning of January 8th, 2004.
Jebediah Muckbucket was the son of a pig slapper. Not the fanciest of jobs, but it brought home the bacon. Young Jeb's earliest memory was of his father out in the shack ironing his slapper (a fine glove of egyptian cotton blend). It was another morning and a long day of pig slapping was ahead!
His father's biggest beef was not his lot in life (hell, he was a 4th generation slapper) but that he got no recognition at all in the community. I mean, everyone respects the villiage idiot and really, other than forced economic perspective, what exactly does the idiot provide for the average man? Ha, not like the pig slapper...the foundation of any good community.
It was under these circumstances that young Jeb grew into the best damn pig slapper the nation of Canada had ever produced. Along with his fellow co-workers, pig slapping reached new heights in both technique and effectiveness.
It is time for Jebediah Muckbucket to leave the roost (along with all of his slapper breathern) and do as all great men with a questionable understanding of politics and $5 in his wallet...START A NEW COUNTRY!!!
Introducing the Rouge Nation of Lustfull Pig Slappers :?
A bit of info about our great nation:
The Rogue Nation of Lustfull pig slappers is a tiny, devout nation, notable for its strong anti-business politics. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 5 million enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.
The government -- a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass -- juggles the competing demands of Religion & Spirituality, Healthcare, and Social Welfare. The average income tax rate is 37%. Private enterprise is illegal, but for those in the know there is a slick and highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing.
Crime is relatively low, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare.
Our National animal is the Drunken Midget and our currency is dead moose carcasses...
Our first plans are to pump all of our resources into national security and a new armed force.
Until then, our nation (a land locked clump of $@#!) is to be heavily fortified and defended by "Honest" Joe Shmirk and John "Tiny" Tim. If you need directions to our capital, Joe and John will be happy to oblige.
Right now we're looking to import a few resouces. We have some beer and pretzels, but a couple hundred thousand pounds of chicken fingers would be a welcome sight. Oh yeah, and vegetables aren't necessary.
As far as exports all we have to offer in trade is some electricity (not too much, we don't want Quebec to notice we're borrowing from them) and of coarse we're more than willing to help any other nations in any pig slapping they might require. We also have a few experts in the bovine technique, but in all honesty swine are divine in our books!
If you have any questions please feel free to come over (bring punch and pie) as we don't yet have any mail sevice...Jack's still on vacation.
Your's truly,
Jeremy Hurkamer
Ambassador to the President