NationStates Jolt Archive

Croup Merchant Brokers are proud to announce that we have just entered into a two year exclusive deal with the nation of Sagatia to trade in letters, words and numbers!

Imported daily from Dictionopolis, get your fresh picked 'if's, 'and's, and 'but's.

Nice ripe 'where's and 'when's.
Bagfulls of pronouns.
Assortments of names.

Special deals on 'quagmire', 'flabbergast' and 'upholstery'; get them whilst stocks last!

Get a pound of 'happy's; very useful for Happy Birthday, Happy New Year, happy days and happy-go-lucky

Buy a pound of 'good's; always handy for good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good-bye

Do It Yourself letters; make any words you like, from A to Z. Try a fresh-harvested 'A'; sweet and delicious! 'I'?; icy and refreshing! And we have the crunchiest 'C's you'll find!

Juicy, tempting words for sale!

A wonderful assortment of words, just waiting for you; short ones, easy ones, long ones and very important ones for special occasions; even some marvellously fancy ones packed in individual gift boxes for use in royal decrees and pronouncements!


Get your numbers here; dug from the numbers mine at Digitopolis, home of the biggest, smallest, shortest and longest numbers in the World! We've got them all, form zero to nine!

Indispensible!

We guarantee you wont be disappointed!

Get them now; tommorrow you may not be able to even spell 'tomorrow'!

Do you carry "superlative"? Mngamojemoans have been complaining about the lack of superlatives lately, and soporific! Talk about dearth! We haven't had any soporifices since The Great Caffienation of '89!

Do you carry "superlative"? Mngamojemoans have been complaining about the lack of superlatives lately, and soporific! Talk about dearth! We haven't had any soporifices since The Great Caffienation of '89!

What we don't have in stock, we can get for you and, in the meantime, you can always make your own words with individual letters.

Right now, we have a supply of 'superlative' (although, you'll need to hurry) and an even larger stock of superlatives. 'Soporific' is rare and, hence, costly, but we can get you some in a day or two; how many do you need? We don't have 'dearth' at the moment, I'm afraid (a very dry and dusty word and there's not much demand) but we could probably get a few in a month, depending on the quantity you need (that one requires real craftsmanship and is quite difficult to produce in quantity)

We have more than enough "dearth" in Mngamojemo, although we thank you most politely; as for the other words, we wish to buy them in pecks- six pecks of one and half a dozen of the other, if you would be so kind. to buy

We have more than enough "dearth" in Mngamojemo, although we thank you most politely; as for the other words, we wish but them in pecks- six pecks of one and half a dozen of the other, if you would be so kind.

Please list the words and/or you letters you require, and how many pecks of each

"Superlative"- six pecks
"Soporific"- half a dozen pecks
(Business is SO specific!)

"Superlative"- six pecks
"Soporific"- half a dozen pecks
(Business is SO specific!)

It is indeed; and we can do you a bulk deal on 'specific' as well!

With which currency don you wish to pay?

I don' wish to pay with yen, if you please, or the outdated Finnish Markka. I do wish to pay with the most esteemed currency of my great nation, the veeblfetzer, which currently trades at up to 17 pennies to the dollar! (As a sidebar, what exotic words do you carry? I am particularly interested in words in Finnish- the peasantry of Mngamojemo uses the term "naida", in particular, quite often.)

I don' wish to pay with yen, if you please, or the outdated Finnish Markka. I do wish to pay with the most esteemed currency of my great nation, the veeblfetzer, which currently trades at up to 17 pennies to the dollar! (As a sidebar, what exotic words do you carry? I am particularly interested in words in Finnish- the peasantry of Mngamojemo uses the term "naida", in particular, quite often.)

Six pecks of 'superlative' will be 62,220 pennies (we assume 622.2 veeblfetzer?) @ 6000 words per peck

Half a dozen 'sporiphic's will be 102,000 pennies (we assume 1020 veeblfetzer?) @ 6000 words per peck

'naida' will have to be imported (available in two days) at a unit cost of 170 pennies (we assume 1.7 veeblfetzer?) @ 1500 words per peck

If this is acceptable, please wire us the money

Prepare to be wired! Do you have any preference for wire type? We have razor, barbed and electric, although barbed may prove inconvenient- the veeblefetzer has a hole in the middle, but the barbs don't fit through as easily as we'd like, and workers must be payed overtime to wire money if the wire won't slip in nicely.

Prepare to be wired! Do you have any preference for wire type? We have razor, barbed and electric, although barbed may prove inconvenient- the veeblefetzer has a hole in the middle, but the barbs don't fit through as easily as we'd like, and workers must be payed overtime to wire money if the wire won't slip in nicely.

Electric will be suitable, as long as the veeblfetzer are delivered along with it

And they shall be! The wired veeblefeltzii are currently in transit. We anticipate our verbage with eager larynxes!

The land of Croup Merchant Brokers seems to be quite without Rhyme and Reason. May we suggest finding them before you all end up in the doldrums. :wink:

*referencing action!* :)

The KOR3AN government would like to know if your corporation carries non-Latin characters. We are currently having a devil of a time producing suitable Korean, Japanese, and Chinese translations of environmental regulations because our water-, air-, and precious metal-producing printing presses cannot keep up with demand. Would you be able to accomodate us?

If this (lack of Rhyme and Reason) proves a problem for your esteemed nation, Mngamojemo is quite rife with rhymers of all sorts. Reason, however, is not common, at least in the modern sense.

OOC: You started one of these in the Gameplay forum...

Friendly word of advice: restrict yourself to posting similar threads on one forum only; doing otherwise is a violation of the rules.

And yes, I'm an experienced player here. This nation is only one of my puppets. Hey, betcha can't guess who I am? :P

And they shall be! The wired veeblefeltzii are currently in transit. We anticipate our verbage with eager larynxes!

It has been a pleasure doing business with you.

The words you have ordered will be sent upon receipt of payment. Please allow twenty-four hours (forty-eight to seventy-two hours for delivery of 'naida').

Should we be able to assist you again the the future, please contact us directly by telegram, or watch for announcements in the same organ.

The land of Croup Merchant Brokers seems to be quite without Rhyme and Reason. May we suggest finding them before you all end up in the doldrums. :wink:

*referencing action!* :)

Croup Merchant Brokers are and independant organisation acting as mercantile executors for the nation of Sagatia. As we cannot comment upon that nation's internal issues please direct further correspondance regarding such issues directly to them.

Best Regards

K. L. Ing (Partner)

The KOR3AN government would like to know if your corporation carries non-Latin characters. We are currently having a devil of a time producing suitable Korean, Japanese, and Chinese translations of environmental regulations because our water-, air-, and precious metal-producing printing presses cannot keep up with demand. Would you be able to accomodate us?

Such characters can be supplied. Please state which letters are required, the quantity of each that you wish to purchase and the currency with wish you wish to conclude the transaction. We will be able to supply you with a invoice within twenty-four hours of receipt of your order

If this (lack of Rhyme and Reason) proves a problem for your esteemed nation, Mngamojemo is quite rife with rhymers of all sorts. Reason, however, is not common, at least in the modern sense.

Thank you for your kind offer.

Croup Merchant Brokers are and independant organisation acting as mercantile executors for the nation of Sagatia. As we cannot comment upon that nation's internal affairs please direct further correspondance regarding such issues directly to them.

Best Regards

K. L. Ing (Partner)

OOC: You started one of these in the Gameplay forum...

Friendly word of advice: restrict yourself to posting similar threads on one forum only; doing otherwise is a violation of the rules.

And yes, I'm an experienced player here. This nation is only one of my puppets. Hey, betcha can't guess who I am? :P


[IC]

Scattergun marketing was established to be the most effective methodology for an IPO of this sort, to determine the best product placement options. Future announcements will be directed specifically in those areas that proved to offer the greatest success.

[OOC]

I could try guessing who you are by taking a wild stab in the dark (and please understand that there was no sexual connotation intended by that comment;), but I don't think it would be a very profitabble expenditure of my time. If you'd like to enlightne me, on the other hand, please feel free to tg me directly.

Such characters can be supplied. Please state which letters are required, the quantity of each that you wish to purchase and the currency with wish you wish to conclude the transaction. We will be able to supply you with a invoice within twenty-four hours of receipt of your order
KOR3A will purchase:
100 rice paddies,
100 forests,
1000 sheaves of paper (note: you may substitute another collective noun if you are out of sheaves,)
100 tons of uranium,
100 tons of iron ore;
in Chinese, Japanese, and Korean character sets.
We will pay in gyros. (That's pronounced euros.) 1 GYR = 1.26 USD.

Such characters can be supplied. Please state which letters are required, the quantity of each that you wish to purchase and the currency with wish you wish to conclude the transaction. We will be able to supply you with a invoice within twenty-four hours of receipt of your order
KOR3A will purchase:
100 rice paddies,
100 forests,
1000 sheaves of paper (note: you may substitute another collective noun if you are out of sheaves,)
100 tons of uranium,
100 tons of iron ore;
in Chinese, Japanese, and Korean character sets.
We will pay in gyros. (That's pronounced euros.) 1 GYR = 1.26 USD.

Thankyou for your enquiry.

We will be able to provide you with an estimate within twenty-four hours

We are perticulary lacking in the word "Nitroglceryn" we need 200 of these for our Army.

We are perticulary lacking in the word "Nitroglceryn" we need 200 of these for our Army.

This word is particularly dangerous to manufacture and, therefore, carries a premium price. We have none in stock currently and I am unsure of availability (quantity or schedule). I will have to make enquiries.

Please allow twenty-four to forty-eight hours for us to reply with an estimate.


Best Regards

K. L. Ing (Partner)

We are perticulary lacking in the word "Nitroglceryn" we need 200 of these for our Army.

We have discussed this with our supplier and will be able to supply you with the words you require. There are two options.

The word 'nitro' has a unit price of 172.4 Talia.
The word 'glycerine' has a unit price of 533.6 Talia

You will need to obtain the necessary services to combine the two into 'nitroglycerine' yourself though.


Alternatively, we can deliver you premanufactured 'nitroglycerine'.

'Nitroglycerine' is very dangerous to produce, requiring the best craftsmen. Transporting it is also more hazardous. So it is much more expensive. It has a unit price of 4223.2 Talia.


In both cases these prices are for a standard font size. If you require a different size this can be arranged, but the price will increase accordingly. For each size increase or decrease, please multiply the unit cost by a factor of 0.5: +/- 1 will cost 1.5 times the standard unit price; +/- 2 will cost 2 times the standard unit price; +/- 3 will cost 2.5 times the standard unit price; and so forth

Please let us know how you wish to proceed.

We look forward to doing business with you.

Best Regards

K. L. Ing, Partner, CMB

KOR3A will purchase:
100 rice paddies,
100 forests,
1000 sheaves of paper (note: you may substitute another collective noun if you are out of sheaves,)
100 tons of uranium,
100 tons of iron ore;
in Chinese, Japanese, and Korean character sets.
We will pay in gyros. (That's pronounced euros.) 1 GYR = 1.26 USD.

'100 rice paddies' will cost 1,220.67 GYR per language
'100' forests will cost 1,215.14 GYR per language
'1000 sheaves of paper' will cost 291,740.04 GYR per language
'100 tons of uranium' will cost 104,345.2 GYR per language
'100 tons of iron ore' will cost 1,220.54 GYR per language

In all cases these prices are for a standard font size. If you require a different size this can be arranged, but the price will increase accordingly. For each size increase or decrease, please multiply the unit cost by a factor of 0.5: +/- 1 will cost 1.5 times the standard unit price; +/- 2 will cost 2 times the standard unit price; +/- 3 will cost 2.5 times the standard unit price; and so forth


They will take one week to deliver per language (three weeks for the entire delivery)

Please contact us with your response


Best Regards

K. L. Ing, Partner, CMB

The standard font size will be fine, thank you. Payment of 1,199,224.77 GYR will be remitted to your accounts. (This amount is equal to the total of the values for each item times three.)

The standard font size will be fine, thank you. Payment of 1,199,224.77 GYR will be remitted to your accounts. (This amount is equal to the total of the values for each item times three.)

The first delivery will be one week from now. You may expect the second and third deliveries to be one week from the previous delivery respectively.

If you have any preference for the order in which the language sets are delivered, please inform us so that we may make the necessary arrangements.

If there is anything else we may help you with, please do not hesitate to contact us. We have a wide range of trading opportunities open to us and if there is any other product or service we can offer you, we would be more than happy to supply it if it is within our power to do so.

It has been a pleasure doing business with you. We hope to do so again in the future.


Best Regards

K. L. Ing, Partner, CMB

We are perticulary lacking in the word "Nitroglceryn" we need 200 of these for our Army.

We have discussed this with our supplier and will be able to supply you with the words you require. There are two options.

The word 'nitro' has a unit price of 172.4 Talia.
The word 'glycerine' has a unit price of 533.6 Talia

You will need to obtain the necessary services to combine the two into 'nitroglycerine' yourself though.


Alternatively, we can deliver you premanufactured 'nitroglycerine'.

'Nitroglycerine' is very dangerous to produce, requiring the best craftsmen. Transporting it is also more hazardous. So it is much more expensive. It has a unit price of 4223.2 Talia.


In both cases these prices are for a standard font size. If you require a different size this can be arranged, but the price will increase accordingly. For each size increase or decrease, please multiply the unit cost by a factor of 0.5: +/- 1 will cost 1.5 times the standard unit price; +/- 2 will cost 2 times the standard unit price; +/- 3 will cost 2.5 times the standard unit price; and so forth

Please let us know how you wish to proceed.

We look forward to doing business with you.

Best Regards

K. L. Ing, Partner, CMB

we have the finacancial backing to buy 200 'nitroglycerine', money wired upon confirmation.

Trading in words, now that's interesting. If you haven't bought a word, can you use it ?

we have the finacancial backing to buy 200 'nitroglycerine', money wired upon confirmation.

Very good. A wise decision, we think you'll agree.

Please wire 844640 Talia total to our account and we will place the order with our suppliers.

As previously explained, 'nitroglycerine' is a hazardous word to produce, requiring the very best craftsmanship indeed. We will do our utmost to deliver your purchase in as a timely a manner as is possible, by placing the order with as many such suppliers as are able to meet the high standards necessary to produce this word. Each craftsman must work carefully and laboriously, however. Once the work has progressed as far as 'nitro' the process becomes infinately more dangerous. A simple tremor in the hand of the crftsman at this stage can be enough to end their career on the spot; and as the word nears completion could mean tragedy - there are many widows and orphans in Sagatia due to accidents during the production of words such as these.

We hope to have the complete order processed for you within two weeks, but will keep you appraised of the situation as the work progresses.

It has been a pleasure doing business with you. We hope to do so with you again in the future.

Best Regards

K. L. Ing, Partner, CMB

Trading in words, now that's interesting. If you haven't bought a word, can you use it ?

I cannot go into too much detail on this issue as to do so would be an unethical violation of the trust placed in us by our suppliers to protect their commercial interests. Moreover, not having been to Sagatia myself, I am not certain of the exact details, but my partner assures me that it is indeed the case that unscrupulous third parties do indeed manage to copy words and that many of these second (or even worse) rate fakes are in use around the world.

However, the quality of such words is poor. Many of them are misspelled, accounting for the enormous number of typographic and pronounciation errors seen and heard. Some are not even the word they purport to be, this only becoming apparent when they are used, inappropriately, in the wrong context.

Finally, some words are quite simply dangerous. A poor quallity copy of the word 'warhead' for example might look perfectly usable, but be unstable, resulting in a tragic accident.

All these second rate copies lead to misunderstanding, misapprehension and misconception, resulting in miscommunication and often, dispute. In the worst instances, they can lead to conflict or even war.

We would recommend using only the best. The genuine article comes exclusively from our suppliers.

Hmmm... Interesting... I'll require;

300 bushels of "police"
10 pecks of "strawberry"
10 pecks of "kiwi"
10 pecks of "water"

I will pay in sheills; 100 sheills = 114.24 USD

we have the finacancial backing to buy 200 'nitroglycerine', money wired upon confirmation.

Very good. A wise decision, we think you'll agree.

Please wire 844640 Talia total to our account and we will place the order with our suppliers.

As previously explained, 'nitroglycerine' is a hazardous word to produce, requiring the very best craftsmanship indeed. We will do our utmost to deliver your purchase in as a timely a manner as is possible, by placing the order with as many such suppliers as are able to meet the high standards necessary to produce this word. Each craftsman must work carefully and laboriously, however. Once the work has progressed as far as 'nitro' the process becomes infinately more dangerous. A simple tremor in the hand of the crftsman at this stage can be enough to end their career on the spot; and as the word nears completion could mean tragedy - there are many widows and orphans in Sagatia due to accidents during the production of words such as these.

We hope to have the complete order processed for you within two weeks, but will keep you appraised of the situation as the work progresses.

It has been a pleasure doing business with you. We hope to do so with you again in the future.

Best Regards

K. L. Ing, Partner, CMB

money wired. we think that it would be a good idea to have a Seal of Qaulity for words.

Hmmm... Interesting... I'll require;

300 bushels of "police"
10 pecks of "strawberry"
10 pecks of "kiwi"
10 pecks of "water"

I will pay in sheills; 100 sheills = 114.24 USD

Please allow 24 to 48 hours for an estimate.

Hmmm... Interesting... I'll require;

300 bushels of "police"
10 pecks of "strawberry"
10 pecks of "kiwi"
10 pecks of "water"

I will pay in sheills; 100 sheills = 114.24 USD

CMB has recently chosen to tie its exchange rate to the Tuple (TPL) standard (Please communicate with the Free Land of Ayakhustyx for further information).

As of one week ago, Croup Merchant Brokers trades solely in Tuples.

At the current exchange rate, TPL 1 = 3 sheills.

Before we proceed with the the contract, please confirm that this is acceptable.

[OOC: Very, very funny. When I read about that nation asking what kind of wire the money should be sent on, I almost exploded.]

We'll take a:

bushel of Wyrms
a spoonful of unintelligible profanity (assorted)
twenty pecks of alcohol
a dollop of plumbing
and a cartload of hay.


We shall pay in USD. We can't wire the money, but if you wish, we can sew it together in sheaves and send it as burnt offerings.

Also, what are your prices on "exotic" character sets? We've got our own character suppliers, but we've run out of Ek, our supply of Shak is getting alarmingly low, and our stock of G'chak'ukka ideograms is of apalling quality.

we think that it would be a good idea to have a Seal of Qaulity for words.

I understand from my partner that all words are taken before a seal of approval upon completion. The seal tests them by balancing them on it's nose and if they are of sufficiently high quality it is able perform tricks with it. If the quality is not sufficiently high the word breaks during the performance of these tricks and must be recreated.

Hmmm... Interesting... I'll require;

300 bushels of "police"
10 pecks of "strawberry"
10 pecks of "kiwi"
10 pecks of "water"

I will pay in sheills; 100 sheills = 114.24 USD


Sir

As promised, here is the invoice for your order:

1x 'police' @ 67.28 sheills
1x 'strawbery' @ 120.56 sheills
1x 'kiwi' @ 101.64 sheills
1x 'water' @ 46.28 sheills
1x 'bushels of' @ 107.92 sheills
3x 'pecks of' @ 143.32 sheills per = 429.96 sheills
1x '300' @ 28,169 sheills
3x '10' @ 966.16 sheills per = 2,898.48

Total: 31,941.12 sheills

If this is agreeable to you, please wire the total amout to our account at First Independant of Ayakhustyx.

Thankyou

K. L. Ing, Partner, CMB

[OOC: Very, very funny. When I read about that nation asking what kind of wire the money should be sent on, I almost exploded.]

We'll take a:

bushel of Wyrms
a spoonful of unintelligible profanity (assorted)
twenty pecks of alcohol
a dollop of plumbing
and a cartload of hay.


We shall pay in USD. We can't wire the money, but if you wish, we can sew it together in sheaves and send it as burnt offerings.

Also, what are your prices on "exotic" character sets? We've got our own character suppliers, but we've run out of Ek, our supply of Shak is getting alarmingly low, and our stock of G'chak'ukka ideograms is of apalling quality.

Sir

Here is the invoice for the words you have requested:

1x 'wyrms' @ 19.95 USD
1x 'alcohol' @ 16.94 USD
1x 'plumbing' @ 34.63 USD
1x 'hay' @ 9.5 USD
1x 'bushel of' @ 25.19 USD
1x 'pecks of' @ 35.83 USD
1x 'dollop of' @ 24.83 USD
1x 'cartload of ' @ 24.57
1x '20' @ 471.69 USD

One (1) a spoonful of unintelligible profanity (assorted) @ 184.14 USD

Total: 847.27 USD

As this is a new venture for us, I am afraid that we cannot take words in payment at this time and we are, regrettably, unable to accept sheves. We may be able to do so in the future, however, once we know the stability of the market. In the meaantime, therefore, we will accept cash delivered to our account at First Independant of Ayakhustyx.

Upon confirmation from Ayakhustyx that the payment has been received, we will fulfill your order.


Exotic character sets can be manufactured, but our suppliers will need models from which to work. If you can supply us with an example of each of the charater sets you wish, we can place an order for you. Please allow seven to fourteen days for receipt.


Thankyou for your business.

K. L. Ing, Partner, CMB

Message received.
Unfortunately, the amounts specified on your invoice are incorrect. Please re-examine the request.

We ordered:

"Wyrms" = 1 bushel
unintelligible profanity (assorted) = 1 spoonful
"Alcohol" = 20 pecks
"Plumbing" = 1 dollop
"Hay" = 1 cartload

Please send new estimates.

Message received.
Unfortunately, the amounts specified on your invoice are incorrect. Please re-examine the request.

We ordered:

"Wyrms" = 1 bushel
unintelligible profanity (assorted) = 1 spoonful
"Alcohol" = 20 pecks
"Plumbing" = 1 dollop
"Hay" = 1 cartload

Please send new estimates.

Our apologies. We understood you to require:

1x ' a bushel of wyrms' = 1x 'a bushel of' + 1x 'wyrms'
1x ' 20 pecks of alcohol' = 1x '20' + 1x 'pecks of' + 1x 'alcohol'
1x 'a dollop of plumbing' = 1x 'a dollop of' + 1x 'plumbing'
1x ' a cartload of hay' = 1x 'a cartload of' + 1x 'hay'

Since your requirements are now clear to us, we will need further information, as the numbers of a each word in a volume will vary according to font size. Please confirm the font requirements for your order.

In all cases these prices are for a standard font size. If you require a different size this can be arranged, but the price will increase accordingly. For each size increase or decrease, please multiply the unit cost by a factor of 0.5: +/- 1 will cost 1.5 times the standard unit price; +/- 2 will cost 2 times the standard unit price; +/- 3 will cost 2.5 times the standard unit price; and so forth


Best Regards

K. L. Ing, Partner, CMB

The standard font size will be fine.
In the intrest of curiosity; are you selling anything besides words?

The standard font size will be fine.

Very good.

We shall endeavour to obtain another invoice from our suppliers.

Please allow seven days for us to do so. (OOC: I might be out for a few days from this evening, so it might be a while before I read any telegrams from Sagatia)

In the intrest of curiosity; are you selling anything besides words?

As our motto says: We can get anyone anything

Sir

As promised, here is the invoice for your order:

1x 'police' @ 67.28 sheills
1x 'strawbery' @ 120.56 sheills
1x 'kiwi' @ 101.64 sheills
1x 'water' @ 46.28 sheills
1x 'bushels of' @ 107.92 sheills
3x 'pecks of' @ 143.32 sheills per = 429.96 sheills
1x '300' @ 28,169 sheills
3x '10' @ 966.16 sheills per = 2,898.48

Total: 31,941.12 sheills

If this is agreeable to you, please wire the total amout to our account at First Independant of Ayakhustyx.

Thankyou

K. L. Ing, Partner, CMB

Thank you, this is quite acceptable. Money is now being converted and wired.