Burgular Caught in Nanakaland! Stole Thousands of Gifts!
This night (December 24th) in Port Nanaka, Nanakaland, local officials have captured a man who was trying to rob a house. The man was dressed up in red, had a Santa hat, and was very obese. When examining his bag, the police found more than a thousand "stolen" toys and other gifts. Officials are baffled as to how the gifts could fit in a bag and how the burglar slid down the chimney.
His escape vehicle, which he never was able to make it back to, was supposedly a sleigh he hid on the roof of the house he was robbing. When a local police team went to investigate, they found more bags in the sleigh. There were nine deer in front the sleigh, including one with a reddish nose. This man is under interrogation in Fort Nanaka, Nanakapolis, right now - and he claims to be Santa Claus. What an outrageous claim! We all know Santa doesn't exist.
:wink:
[EDIT: See the next post I make in this thread (with the wanted poster).]
This night (December 24th) in Port Nanaka, Nanakaland, local officials have captured a man who was trying to rob a house. The man was dressed up in red, had a Santa hat, and was very obeese. When examining his bag, the police found more than a thousand "stolen" toys and other gifts. Officials are baffled as to how the gifts could fit in a bag and how the burgular slid down the chiminey.
His escape vehicle, which he never was able to make it back to, was supposedly a sleigh he hid on the roof of the house he was robbing. When a local police team went to investigate, they found more bags in the sleigh. There were nine deer in front the sleigh, including one with a redish nose. This man is under interrigation in Fort Nanaka, Nanakapolis, right now - and he claims to be Santa Claus. What an outrageous claim! We all know Santa doesn't exist.
:wink:
LOL !!!!!!
You just arrested Santa Claus. Send him to us. He's wanted here for enslaving elves.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kûk‡xenisi n!ok‡x'osi xno-k‡xek‡emi.
The state only exists to serve itself.
Racism-the other stupid ideology
Peace, love, and girls with small waists and really big butts!
http://www.sulucas.com/images/steatopygia.jpg
I'm male. Note the pic
of attractive women.
URGENT!
The burgular has escaped from Fort Nanaka via his sleigh - and he has taken his bags of stolen goods with him! We have twelve fighters chasing the flying sleigh (there must be some kind of rocket attached to the sleigh), but it is going too fast! We fear that he may soon escape from Nanakaland airspace.
WANTED!
Alive
http://www.theholidayspot.com/christmas/santa/santa.jpg
Name: ?
Known Aliases: Santa Claus; Kris Kringle; St. Nick; Father Christmas
Age: ?
Height: 5' 9"
Weight: 289 lbs
Is not armed, but will try to break into a house via a chimney and steal all of your Christmas presents.
You just arrested Santa Claus. Send him to us. He's wanted here for enslaving elves.
Santa Claus doesn't exist. This is just a burglar posing as him. We are still baffled about his mysteries, however. Oh, and he just escaped (see my previous post).
[OOC: This is supposed to be Santa, but the government doesn't know it yet.]
This unknown burgular has crossed borders into other nations in my region, where he could also try to rob them. I must warn them!
If he does turn out to be Santa Claus, let us deal with him.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kûk‡xenisi n!ok‡x'osi xno-k‡xek‡emi.
The state only exists to serve itself.
Racism-the other stupid ideology
Peace, love, and girls with small waists and really big butts!
http://www.sulucas.com/images/steatopygia.jpg
I'm male. Note the pic
of attractive women.
Do you have any DNA from him, such as hair? We shall try to analyze the results. We believe this just might be the real Santa Clause.
Oh, and the Elves are not enslaved. They are paid vast sums of money for doing something they enjoy.
Twy-Sunrats
25-12-2003, 01:45
<;'c(
Just imagine all those kids who wont get presents! this is obviously an evil capatilist plot in order to turn Christmas into a purely capitalist, consumerist spending spree full of debt, arguments and misery!!!
Illisha Deputy Chairman of the USST
Euroslavia
25-12-2003, 01:55
This just in...
Hundreds of houses have been robbed within the capital of Euroslavia, Za-Breg. The man suspected of these crimes matches the identity that Nanakaland police give. The only person who was able to give this description was a little 8 year old girl who just woke up to get some milk and cookies because she couldn't sleep. The burglar even stole all of her cookies AND milk. This man is very shameful, and must be caught and put on trial! Anyone with information behind this, we ask to come forth. It is suspected that he is on the move within the Kingdom of the Midlands again...
Oh, and the Elves are not enslaved. They are paid vast sums of money for doing something they enjoy.
Sure, they do. I say we send a fleet of ships to fire a salvo of lasers to melt the north pole.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kûk‡xenisi n!ok‡x'osi xno-k‡xek‡emi.
The state only exists to serve itself.
Racism-the other stupid ideology
Peace, love, and girls with small waists and really big butts!
http://www.sulucas.com/images/steatopygia.jpg
I'm male. Note the pic
of attractive women.
Sigma Octavus
25-12-2003, 02:01
But Santa hasn't delivered toys since 1962, when he shot Rudolph while hunting deer. So it can't be him.
We'll get right on it.
*Deploying Fighter Jets and reconnosince aircraft*
Ill sent some hunter-commandoes after him. Armed with some nice bright christmas cheer.
"Santa" spotted burglarizing NMS
Frantic authorities forced to give chase over hills, laughing all the way
Volleys of anti-aircraft fire as well as SAM fire were directed at the suspected burglar K. Kringle as he fled New Antioch after taking:
- A Gamecube that was supposed to be for Little Spencer
- A 50-pound roast beast
- Cindy Lou Who's new doll set
- Untold amounts of other toys
Authorities urge citizens to stay calm. If he is sighted, DO NOT GO AFTER HIM. Dr. A.M. Putation of the NMS Surgeons Guild states "We believe that the reindeer might be rabid. Either that or they have been taking Angel Dust. We'd need to capture one to find out."
If he is sighted the air-raid sirens will blast out 3 times. Then all citizens should either block off their chimneys or get a "really, really hot" fire going in their chimneys that will "bake any intruder" to a well done crisp.
The intruder is said to be back at the North Pole. I think that he really was Santa.
Proably.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kûk‡xenisi n!ok‡x'osi xno-k‡xek‡emi.
The state only exists to serve itself.
Racism-the other stupid ideology
Peace, love, and girls with small waists and really big butts!
http://www.sulucas.com/images/steatopygia.jpg
I'm male. Note the pic
of attractive women.
Cyberutopia
25-12-2003, 19:54
This Just In!
While Cyberutopian forces, determined to see if Santa really existed, tried to flush out Santa from his fortress at the North Pole with tear gas and other...things...that gets shifty eyed killed the reindeer...in horrible ways...ahem. Anyway, Santa fled the North Pole, shouting something about "those damned liberals" before coliding with a strange green man with apparently no heart. He is being called THE IMPOSTER because he...um...is. Santa now continues to flee Cyberutopian forces, with a broken nose and half a "sleigh". Said "sleigh", a word which earlier today was proven not to exist (a Frenchman named Roland Sleigh apparently made it up), was last seen being pulled by elves, not funny cartoon reindeer as was perviously believed. More to come as the situation develops.
THE IMPOSTER!!!
http://www.mlmug.org/moegoes/Grinch.jpg