NationStates Jolt Archive

The PUCH wishes to extend its greetings to the infidel nations of the world and wishes to extend its salvation to them. Accept the Truth, accept the Word, and you shall be saved. Do otherwise, and your fate is sealed in the fiery pits. Please accept our offer of salvation.

-Official Press Release from Elder Council

OOC: This is a friendly hello from these religious fanatics.

Accept the Truth, accept the Word...

... or you shall be assimilated! Resistance to "the Word" is futile! ;) It's kinda like resistance to "tha Man"...

Bow before the lord, weak one. Your truth is a lie compared to the holy word of Jehova.

~Cardinal Richelieu

"Is that Infidel mocking us, Elder?"

"I think he is, Inquisitor." The old man replied.

"We shall Purge the Infidels!" The caped priest/soldier declared.

"Not now!" The Elder barked. "We are still small, and we must not confront them, or we will merely turn them away from the light. We must convince them of our Truth... then bring them under our Power!"

"It is Just!"

Bow before the lord, weak one. Your truth is a lie compared to the holy word of Jehova.

~Cardinal Richelieu
Infidel, that name is Iehova, for Latin possessed not a "J". You slander God and yourself with your fallacy.

-Derlev Radick

Bow before the lord, weak one. Your truth is a lie compared to the holy word of Jehova.

~Cardinal Richelieu
Infidel, that name is Iehova, for Latin possessed not a "J". You slander God and yourself with your fallacy.

-Derlev RadickYou speak good English for someone who is such a stickler for people talking latin ;)

"We will never turn against Fendar, the one true God."
-Sarkol, High Priest of Tobal, in reponse to the announcement by The PUCH.
OOC: Hee hee hee... It's almost always easy to figure out what a fanatic would say. :D

double

We will watch this thread.

"Let's hear it for secular government!" exclaimed two fat, happy Iansislean plutocrats, clinking their wine glasses together while watching a stock ticker.

"We will never turn against Fendar, the one true God."
-Sarkol, High Priest of Tobal, in reponse to the announcement by The PUCH.
OOC: Hee hee hee... It's almost always easy to figure out what a fanatic would say. :D
Who is this Fendar? Another name for the One True God, or an imposter and fraud?

-Radick

"Let's hear it for secular government!" exclaimed two fat, happy Iansislean plutocrats, clinking their wine glasses together while watching a stock ticker.
And as you sit there, in your false wealth, know that for every sip of that pleasurable wine, your souls will suffer a thousand-fold. Everything will end, and then true life begins... and you are damning yourself with every action.

"The Great Fendar is the One True God. Any other being that claims to be a/the god is an imposter and a fraud!"
-Sarkol, High Priest of Tobal

Press Release from the Government of Australian Marsupials:

Ekscuuuuse me!!!

There is but one God, and Wombat is his name!

Worship the Holy Wombat!

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid67/pf808e8f95bcb98bc121f28dbb06e0ef2/fbdbfb56.jpg

#Camera cuts away to show a long shot of a gently slopping cove of deep white sand, lapped by waves of purest azure sparkling in the clear, bright sunshine, before closing in on a figure leading a celebration of the Church of the Holy Wombat#

Officiating Celebrant : Bruce Ocker

Bruce: The grace of the Blessed Wallaby, and the love of the Holy Wombat, and the fellowship of your cobbers be with you all.

All: And with you too, mate.

Sung (Psalm Three): This is the party that the Holy Wombat has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Bruce: We have gathered together here in the presence of the Holy Wombat to party hearty and to ask the Holy Wombat’s blessing on us as we share our booze.

For parties are a gift of the Holy Wombat. They are a symbol of the Holy Wombat’s unending love for screamers, and of the union between the Holy Wombat and his blokes and sheilas.

As the Holy Wombat has called us to party, so he gathers all the tinnies and the stubbies into a great big esky, and declares the bar open.

Hymn

“Wombat, Wombat, We Adore Thee”
(Tune: Hymn to Joy, Beethoven; Words: Some Fella)

Reading from the Holy Book of Wombat

Bruce: And on the first day, the Wombat created the Earth, and he looked down and saw it was good.
On the second day, the Wombat created Bloke, and he looked down and saw that he was lonely.
So on the third day, the Wombat created Sheila, and he looked down and saw that Bloke was shy.
And so, on the fourth day, the Wombat created beer, and he looked down and was glad, and spake “Sod this - that looks like a great party!” and did descend to walk among Bloke and Sheila.
And thus on the fifth and the sixth day, the Wombat did party, and it was fun, fun, fun!
But on the seventh day, the Wombat had a monstrous hangover, and so the Wombat rested (until the evening when he invited a few mates round for a piss-up).

Bruce: Hear the words of the Holy Wombat.

All: Thanks be to the Holy Wombat.

Hymn

“At the Holy Wombat’s Bar There are no Last Orders”
(Tune: St. Peter, A. R. Reinagle. Words: Okker Bundy)

Prayer

Bruce: Blessed are you, loving Wombat, your spirits bind us together. Crown us with your wines; sustain us all our days with your beers. And when this party is ended, welcome us all back at your place, there with all your mates to drink your booze. Blessed be the Holy Wombat, as in the beginning, so now, and for ever.

All: Amen.

Blessing

Bruce: The Holy Wombat bless you and keep you; the Holy Wombat make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Holy Wombat lift up his pint in salute to you, and give you free beer.

All: Amen.

The Party

Bruce: The Holy Wombat teaches that a good party is a lifelong bender uniting blokes and sheilas in body if nothing else. In the joy of the party, blokes and sheilas rage on and perv at each other, growing in drunkenness and debauchery. Through parties, new friendships are formed, where mates may be made and grow in mateship. Parties are therefore to be honoured by all. No one should miss a party, but all should make sure they bring a bottle.

So let us party hearty.

Get on with you, mates, the party’s started, and I’m as dry as a nun’s nasty.

THE PARTY'S STARTED - WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? WORSHIP THE HOLY WOMBAT!!

~Cardinal Richelieu[/quote]
Infidel, that name is Iehova, for Latin possessed not a "J". You slander God and yourself with your fallacy.

-Derlev Radick[/quote]

actualy he is correct with the lattin... o the hebrew atleast, the name Iehova (Jehovia) is spelled that way in hebrew....just a side note. Havent you seen Indiana Jones and the last cusade?????

OOC: Are you sure you're not an Aussie, mate? You might as well be a true blue battler! Good on ya, WN.

Bow before the lord, weak one. Your truth is a lie compared to the holy word of Jehova.

~Cardinal Richelieu
Infidel, that name is Iehova, for Latin possessed not a "J". You slander God and yourself with your fallacy.

-Derlev Radick
Both halfwits, Jehova and Iehova is the corruption of the tetragrammaton which I shall not utter here. PUCH, such condecesion from such a tiny nation does not bode well for your international affairs. Know that the nation of Quippoth, Kingdom of Husks, shall not bear such insults idily. You have been warned.

Havent you seen Indiana Jones and the last cusade?????

Nope - must have missed that one. I did see Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade though ..

~Cardinal Richelieu
Infidel, that name is Iehova, for Latin possessed not a "J". You slander God and yourself with your fallacy.

-Derlev Radick

actualy he is correct with the lattin... o the hebrew atleast, the name Iehova (Jehovia) is spelled that way in hebrew....just a side note. Havent you seen Indiana Jones and the last cusade?????
OOC: Actually, I haven't... :( Of course, High Priest Sarkol has never even heard of it.
IC: (is struck temporarily speechless with rage at The "Holy" Wombat)
OOC: (Laughs at the Holy Wombat post)

OOC: Like I said, Jehova and Iehova are both corruptions of the one true name of God which happens to be the tetragrammaton, or the four letters. If you want me to post it I can't but I would expect you to treat it with respect as it is usually not printed for fear it will be blasphemed.

OOC: Like I said, Jehova and Iehova are both corruptions of the one true name of God which happens to be the tetragrammaton, or the four letters. If you want me to post it I can't but I would expect you to treat it with respect as it is usually not printed for fear it will be blasphemed.For pete's sake, the Guy's name is Elohim.

one true name of God which happens to be the tetragrammaton, or the four letters.

Oh, I get it. You mean "BEER".

WN

OOC: Like I said, Jehova and Iehova are both corruptions of the one true name of God which happens to be the tetragrammaton, or the four letters. If you want me to post it I can't but I would expect you to treat it with respect as it is usually not printed for fear it will be blasphemed.For pete's sake, the Guy's name is Elohim.

Depends, he goes by many names but traditionally the tetragrammaton is considered his one true name, the rest are names they use for him such as Adonai.

one true name of God which happens to be the tetragrammaton, or the four letters.

Oh, I get it. You mean "BEER".

WN

lol

And as you sit there, in your false wealth, know that for every sip of that pleasurable wine, your souls will suffer a thousand-fold. Everything will end, and then true life begins... and you are damning yourself with every action.

"Hear that, Pennington? We're going to be damned!" said Wadsworth

"Damned rich!" ammended Pennington with a flourish. The two chortled and clinked their glasses again.

"Fools, the True God is Fendar!! There is no other name."
-Sarkol
OOC: (Looks at Iansisle's post, laughs) It's nice to see someone actually posting characters...

You refer to the four letters commonly called Yahweh, correct? And to you others... Infidels shall burn by God's wrath.

-Radick

And to you others... Infidels shall burn by God's wrath.

One of the monks at The Golden Agate Buddhist Temple read the latest press releases to come from The PUCH, which was given it's own column in the humor section of the Daily Times.

"Burning? As in a fire? Hot Damn! Someone get the marshmallows!" he told one of the younger acolytes.

"We live in a desert; we shouldn't be too hard to burn... and yet, Here I Stand! Hail Fendar, the one True God!!"
-Sarkol, High Priest of Tobal

"So I'm an infidel slated to go to hell because my views on religion do not fall within some numbnut's narrowminded views on faith?"

"Seems that way, Firefury-sama."

"Good Goddess, some people! And reploids probably fall under some category of blasphemy for mankind trying to create sentience in their image or somesuch."

"Oh, probably, though I doubt I could be considered to be made 'in mankind's image'."

"No kidding, Tsume. At least they don't appear to be trying to brute-force their views on anybody."

Official broadcast from the Immortal Shogunate of Reploid Productions

We thank the government of The PUCH for sharing their unique point of view on religion.

May the Goddess Shimeki bring balance between the forces of Chaos and of Order to you.

http://rpstudios.ian-justman.com/junk/furyavatar.jpg
~Queen Firefury Amahira
~Immortal Shogunate of Reploid Productions
End broadcast

"The Shimekian blessing was a nice touch, doncha think?"

"Yes, Firefury, a nice touch indeed. Very subtle."

Forgive me, Slag!

IC: Prince Alexander reads the dispatches. "Burning?"

He sniffs the air. "Sweet Jesus! Everything is on fire!"

Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah! "Bob" will come down harsh upon these religious fanantics, once he finishes his Holy Pipe chock full of Delicious Frop! YEEEEEE!!!

We defeated these infidels yesterday. God willing, I will provide you with more information. I swear by God, I swear by God, these mercenaries have been thrown in a crematorium.

Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf
http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1135000/images/_1138552_sahaf150.jpg

You refer to the four letters commonly called Yahweh, correct? And to you others... Infidels shall burn by God's wrath.

-Radick

Exactly, the tetragrammaton, I guess people think i'm weird for not posting it as is tradition not to write it usually.

Yod-Hé-Vau-Hé -> Jehova/Jahwe -> Jehovah

Origin
http://www.monas.nl/think/JHVH.gif

I keep saying this, jehova is a corruption of Yaweh. Its not an exact translation.

I keep saying this, jehova is a corruption of Yaweh. Its not an exact translation.

Agreed, but I like the word Yahweh/Yahwe better for some reason.

It is my opinion that:

a) All religions worship the same God, just under different names, and in different ways. All the gods the human race worship are aspects of the one creating force that brought the universe into being - and there's an infinite number of aspects out there we haven't named yet.

b) This one God would not want us to hate and kill each other over our narrow-minded analyses of "the nature of God".

c) Any attempt by us at analysing the Creator is futile, for the nature of the Creator is more complex than a human mind can comprehend. Also, even an accurate definition would instantly become inaccurate, as the Creator is ever-changing - a description of the mind of the Creator is like a description of the exact shape of the flames in a forest fire; pointless, as the shape changes from instant to instant.

d) By my own definition, the above (although it may hold a grain of truth) cannot be "The One Truth", as no human mind could understand the whole truth behind the Universe. The same is true of every other religious view. So what's the point in fighting over inaccurate views? Maybe your view is less inaccurate than your neighbour's, but is that a good enough reason to shun them and call them a heathen?

e) Don't even get me started on so-called "Holy" wars (there's an oxymoron if I ever heard one).

.:Elders Council:.
"These Infidels mock us!" one of the old men declared, dressed in military dress. "We should crush them!"

Derlev Radick snorted, "Really? With what?" he glanced around. "The correct path is infiltration, evangelization, and purification... in that order. Bring them to our side with open arms and brotherly love, and slaughter all who oppose us once we hold the power."

The High Priest commented, "Derlev, you do your father great honor with your patience, but God needs immeadiate results. I would say that we send missionaries to the world. Those that accept them are treated as you say, those that don't shall face whatever consequences we can offer. God demands our actions."

At the head of the table, the Elder nodded. "That is the path. Derlev Radick, you will be our voice to the world. Destroy the Infidels with the supreme Truth."

"Yes... father." the son replied. "I shall not fail."

"You had better not."

.:Elders Council:.
"These Infidels mock us!" one of the old men declared, dressed in military dress. "We should crush them!"

Derlev Radick snorted, "Really? With what?" he glanced around. "The correct path is infiltration, evangelization, and purification... in that order. Bring them to our side with open arms and brotherly love, and slaughter all who oppose us once we hold the power."

The High Priest commented, "Derlev, you do your father great honor with your patience, but God needs immeadiate results. I would say that we send missionaries to the world. Those that accept them are treated as you say, those that don't shall face whatever consequences we can offer. God demands our actions."

At the head of the table, the Elder nodded. "That is the path. Derlev Radick, you will be our voice to the world. Destroy the Infidels with the supreme Truth."

"Yes... father." the son replied. "I shall not fail."

"You had better not."

To the leadership of The PUCH, Greetings:

The RCO is somewhat confused by your memo to the world. While we thank you for the offer for conversion, two things rather prevent that.

1.) We are a dedicated Catholic state, and don't see that changing any time soon.

2.) You have not identified your religion in this memo.

Clarification on point two would be most appreciated.

With Respect,
Minister of Foreign Affairs Voegelin, Royal Commonwealth of Oakeshottland.