NationStates Jolt Archive

Jealous Roania Makes Out With Vrak

Mars, Wombat News


The talk of the NationStates Christmas party, which took place last night, was elderly elf Lady Sirithil nos Fëanor sharing a kiss with Melkor Unchained (who’s not getting any younger himself) in the ladies’ toilets (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=104778&start=0), a risky move that left just as many fans twittering excitedly as it did those chocking in disgust.

But perhaps a topic of even greater gossip is the reaction of Siri’s much-publicised lapdog Roania (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2374728&highlight=#2374728), some nobody, whose disheartened face was shown in a close-up in the midst of the kiss. Many onlookers wondered what Roania would say or do in response to the kiss.

None, however, could've anticipated Roania's true reaction, which was to grab the passing Vrak and passionately kiss him outside after the party was over.

"I'm not gay!" Roania was heard to shout reassuringly as he grabbed the back of Vrak's head and shoved it towards his enthusiastically protruding tongue.

After this statement, the two kissed "deeply" for hours after the party's conclusion, according to many onlookers.

"They were the deep, honest, hungry kisses of two individuals deeply in love," said one observer later. "It would've been beautiful and inspiring if it wasn't so deeply disturbing."

"Roania did a really good job of making it seem like he wanted to have wild, gay sex with Vrak," said another witness. "I mean, I know this was just a stunt to get back at Siri, but you really wouldn't have known. He's a wonderful actor."

"The whole time, I was thinking to myself, 'I wonder if there's any danger of him [Roania] being gored?'" reported a man who was on the scene. "You know, because of Vrak being an enormous walrus and everything."

Though Roania was not gored, witnesses say he did fondle and caress Vrak's tail for much of the session.

Wombat News caught up with Vrak later, when he relayed his impressions of the event to our reporter.

"It was definitely a surprising experience," he said. "But not surprising like, you know, an 'Oh no' kind of way. More like surprising in 'Holy f***ing sh*t, this is what I've always dreamed of' kind of way."

Vrak then resumed writing his note to Roania, which appeared to read, "I had fun the other night. Do you like me? Circle yes or no." Below this, there was the option for Roania to indicate whether he liked Vrak or not by circling the appropriate answer.

Roania, however, claims that the move was intended "entirely to get back at Siri, and nothing else."

"Listen, I like Vrak," he admitted. "He's a cool guy. In fact, you might even say I like men in general. I think they're cool and sexy, and sensual. In fact, you might even say that I would very much enjoy seeing Vrak without any clothing on. But to answer your question, no, I am not getting back with Siri."

According to Siri, the kiss had "nothing to do" with Roania.

"This was all about me showing people that I've grown up now," she said. "Grown up into a sly, frustrated, devious drama queen with delusions of grandeur."

Siri’s partner in crime, Melkor, did not have much to say about the event.

"What?" he said when asked, furrowing his brow. "Oh, when I kissed Siri? That's really no big deal for me. I've forgotten about it by now, actually. That's person number 1,762,997 that I've kissed. It's not really a special milestone."

THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – NEWS FRESH FROM THE GUTTER
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg

A truely wonderful post...My god you are awesome.

IC: The Celeborne gay and lesbian pride team is sending roses to both Vrak and the lapdog Roania to celebrate thier comming out.

OOC: A wonderful, wonderful post! Keep it up!

I sincerely hope i`m invited to Siri`s and Melkors marriage.

~ Althena

EDIT: Damnit, wrong nation.

This is the best one you've ever written, in my humble opinion :lol:

I sincerely hope i`m invited to Siri`s and Melkors marriage.

~ Althena

Do you suppose they will exchange one rings ?

Do you suppose they will exchange one rings ?

That could be a problem, since there is only one... A good reason for divorce, actually.

OOC: If Siri had the One Ring, it would explain a lot. :D

Siri doesn't need the One Ring to control any male, she has something...um..er....Better......















Gravships, Perverts :wink:

Gravships

That certainly seems to do it for Roania!!

K

OOC Gah I was going to be the first person to respond then My computer dies...

The usual OOC/IC replies to Wombat news

Whike we have no news on Melkor Siri, we do have further news on Roania and Vrak. we keep a 24 Hour survailence on Roania, for his own safty of course, and have over the years managed to bug many of his personal effects. It was through this bugging that we have witnessed the cementing of that young couples relationship, as they exchanged the bonds of love.

Actually many oif our security experts have been offered counseling after witnessing the act between a Walrus and human, it is said to have been quite... disturbing.

Department of unconfirmed rumours Tor Yvresse

Do you suppose they will exchange one rings ?

:lol:

Oh you should check this, btw:
http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=104831
You're mentioned at the very end

ROANIA


The new Roanian gay and lesbian pride flag. Because love cannot be stopped by race, sex, species or political allignment.

OOC:

I never knew that I had that kind of effect on Roania. :)

What will my wife think?

Don't offend my ally Roania, he prefers Siri (in his dreams) .... :P

Don't offend my ally Roania, he prefers Siri (in his dreams) .... :P

Watch it...before you know he's standing on your porch dressed in leather and tapping a whip against his thy.

Don't offend my ally Roania, he prefers Siri (in his dreams) .... :P

Watch it...before you know he's standing on your porch dressed in leather and tapping a whip against his thy.

Elvish leather of course :lol:

OOC: Now that I have picked myself back up off of the floor from laughing so hard, I can write my responce

IC:

"While I deeply doubt that Lady Feanor and Melkor would be in love, I belive strongly that a persons sexual and romantic activites are solley their own buisness, and that reporters should have nothing to do with their private lives."

~General Theallas

"I wonder if the guy from Salacious Voyers ever found out wether Sirithil was a man or woman..."

~Human Private First Class

"Actualy, I wonder what it sex between those two would be like"

~Same Human, soon to be Private Thrid Class

OOC: You know what, I have the "Siri and Melkor spotted on Nude Beach thread saved to my hard drive, I am going to repost it soon :lol:

OOC: You know what, I have the "Siri and Melkor spotted on Nude Beach thread saved to my hard drive, I am going to repost it soon :lol:

In which case, we would be willing to pay quite well for exclusive access to the materials ... :lol:

Oh, and we might even be persuaded to re-run our earlier story Elven Women in Torrid Affair Shock (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1546336#1546336)

:lol:

WN

Beautiful! Keep us up to date... :twisted:

OOC: Man, can I call them or what? Siri and Melkor are just tabloid fodder.

IC: Emperor Gorrm wraps his tail around his waist, dons his best leisure robe, and sits by the fire for a good read. Grabbing the Wombat News tabloid, he dons his reading glasses and pours a bottle of his best Paroo brandy.

It would be a waste of good brandy as he sprays it out after reading the headlines. Imagine a 7' tall lizard doing a spit-take.

"And finally this evening .... "

This has been a Wombat News bump

RoaniaGovernmentNews

What we allow you to know

Recent reports from the military show that the largest ever invasion of an enemy nation is about to take place. The operation, codenamed "Phonebooth", will involve hundreds of thousands of Roanian Legionnares attacking the Wombat News Head Office.

Minister Edmund Hyacinth declined to state why the operation had been given the name it had, though he did mention the following, "You know that game college kids play, where after they get drunk they try to find out how many of them can fit in a phonebooth? Well, it's a bit like that."

Prince Alexander Black has also reportedly made a bounty on wombats of 2 million dollars per reporter. "None of them can be trusted!" He said, before going to the Celeborne Embassy and having it burnt to the ground on suspicion of them hiding illegal wombats. Throughout the country, anyone found in possession of a copy of Wombat News has been beaten and handed over to the Inquisition's tender mercies.

Apparently, the Vrak embassy has been closed, and there are rumors that several prominent nobles will be hunting the ambassador in the mountains. "Yeah, it's not fair that we'll have military grade weapons, and he'll have a pointy stick, but that's what we have to do until we can find some way for him to stop running so fast." ((OOC: With respect to Mad Magazine))

Finally, all walruses in the country have been let out of the zoos, and released into the waters of Roania... where they were promptly eaten by Lake Dwellers.

This is RGN. What we allow you to know.

OOC: :x I warn you, WN... I'm coming to Britain this summer... and I've always wondered what the snapping of an englishman sounds like. Especially after you beat us in Rugby. Why don't you do something nasty about, I don't know... Celeborne?

OOC: FUNNIEST THING YET!

IC: Daemon had finished reading the Wombat News Tabloid and she did call up and ask why the article that they said that they panned to do on her and AndrAla having a lesbian affair hadn't gone to print in this issue.


http://www.reboot.com/reboot_4_cells/episode_2_inset.jpg
Daemon (Also called The Lady)
There Is Only One, And The One Is Daemon
The Dominion of Synchronized


http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/~ifex534/andraia3.JPG
AndrAla: Unknown Rank
There Is Only One, And The One Is Daemon
The Dominion of Synchronized

:shock:

OOCIC*:

"I just want you all to know that all Vrakians are currently wearing plaid shirts and are busy cutting down trees while singing their favorite song "I'm a lumberjack..." Plaid is now the number one fashion in Vrak. Also, massive rebroadcasts of major sporting events including but not limited to rugby, sumo wrestling, fly fishing, hunting, martial arts, and various gladitorial events are now underway and expected to run 24/7. Steroids are now being sold over the counter and a rise in gym memberships and home workout equipment is forecast. Finally, mens retreats allowing all Vrakian males to "get in touch with their masculine self" will receive government funding. Bongo drum makers should make a killing here.

We also politely suggest that Roania and Wombat News kiss and make up."

- spoken by a tough looking walrus government official sporting an eye patch and a bevy of beautiful she-walruses fawning over him. Boo yah!



* an Out Of Character post for the In Character nation. :)

:shock:

lmao...haha :lol:

"What are you reading?" General Slaagh asked his first lieutenant.

"Uh... Wombat News," the lower ranking officer replied.

The general reached forward and grabbed the paper before tearing it to shreds with his beefy fingers. "You're suppose to be directing your troops to watch from the battlements. Get to work!"

"...Y... yes sir...." he saluted, the the general saluted back, and the lietenant hurried off.

Roania, even though that post above is probably intended to be funny, I still think you're not really good at taking a loss :P

Several Celeborne ambasadores were seen laughing in a bar in Silver City (where they were on leave from Roania, no one really wanted to stay there very long) when news of the embassy being burned was reported. Most of them cracked up laughing but one was seen in tears, when asked what was wrong all he couold say was "All of my porn was in there..."

OOC: I'd consider declaring war on you, except Siri made me hand over all of my WMDs.

So allow me to give you notice of my intention to hire Melkor Unchained to invade Celeborne.

OOC: I'd consider declaring war on you, except Siri made me hand over all of my WMDs.

So allow me to give you notice of my intention to hire Melkor Unchained to invade Celeborne.

What a great way to be ignored :lol: Are you serious ? No really ? Really ? :lol:

OOC: I'd consider declaring war on you, except Siri made me hand over all of my WMDs.

So allow me to give you notice of my intention to hire Melkor Unchained to invade Celeborne.

Do consider you will be fighting 16 SFN nations in such case. Including Der Angst, Diablo_NL, Tarasovka and myself.

OOC: I'd consider declaring war on you, except Siri made me hand over all of my WMDs.

So allow me to give you notice of my intention to hire Melkor Unchained to invade Celeborne.

Do consider you will be fighting 16 SFN nations in such case. Including Der Angst, Diablo_NL, Tarasovka and myself.

Thanks for the back up !!

"I just want you all to know that all Vrakians are currently wearing plaid shirts and are busy cutting down trees while singing their favorite song "I'm a lumberjack..." Plaid is now the number one fashion in Vrak.

OOCIC:

May we politely remind Vrak of the words to the Lumberjack Song:

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!

'Nuf said ... :!:

WN

December 17: Gay Walrus Pride Day, now and forever.

That was the funniest Wombat news report yet. Keep 'em coming!

December 17: Gay Walrus Pride Day, now and forever.

That was the funniest Wombat news report yet. Keep 'em coming!

Celeborne will also acknowledge this holiday, and add to it Dec. 16th as leave the closet like Roania day.

Roania, even though that post above is probably intended to be funny, I still think you're not really good at taking a loss

Actually, I thought it was very funny, and entirely in keeping with previous reactions from Roania. Hmm, maybe that's why they keep appearing in Wombat News .... !

Now, who else needs hitting over the head with a rolled-up copy of Wombat News .... oh, yes, I know ::cough::TVC::cough::

LOL,

WN

"I just want you all to know that all Vrakians are currently wearing plaid shirts and are busy cutting down trees while singing their favorite song "I'm a lumberjack..." Plaid is now the number one fashion in Vrak.

OOCIC:

May we politely remind Vrak of the words to the Lumberjack Song:

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!

'Nuf said ... :!:

WN

OOC: "Oh, Vrak, I thought you were so butch."

"I just want you all to know that all Vrakians are currently wearing plaid shirts and are busy cutting down trees while singing their favorite song "I'm a lumberjack..." Plaid is now the number one fashion in Vrak.

May we politely remind Vrak of the words to the Lumberjack Song:

<snip lyrics>

OOC: Why do you think I chose that song in the first place? :)

OOC: "Oh, Vrak, I thought you were so butch."

OOC: Indeed I am. Do you like my new hat? Does it match my vest?

ROFLMAO

Best .... Wombat News ... Ever