NationStates Jolt Archive

I think that title should tell a lot :)

Results will still be posted here, not telegrammed, simply because that means all results come at the same time for everyone and that, IMO, is realistic.

First batch coming at around 8pm GMT - that's 4pm forum time. This timing MAY be fallible - if I know my brother's going to do one of his tricks like he did on draw night, I might rush them out early.

CHERRY CONFERENCE:
GRETSKY DIVISION
Darkness Forever
Iansisle
Quinntonia
Rejistania
Tanah Burung
The Esten Lands
Timway
Zinkoland

TRETIAK DIVISION
Kryozerkia
Polkaton
Sliponia
Soviet Haaregrad
The Nessaful Lands
Tranquilitis
Warner Brothers
Warnocks Wizards

McLEAN CONFERENCE:
WICKENHEISER DIVISION
Daistallia
Hillbilly Warriors
Kaze Progressa
Liverpool England
Quebec Nouveau
Scaraba
Uniginia II
Walmington-on-Sea

LEMIEUX DIVISION
Dennisov
Jaurania
Kalaalit Nunaat
New Montreal States
Plinkaville
Slipouri
SterlingIce
Trevorland


Fixtures:
Day 1: 1v2, 3v4, 5v6, 7v8
Day 2: 3v1, 2v5, 4v7, 8v6
Day 3: 1v4, 6v2, 7v3, 5v8
Day 4: 5v1, 2v3, 8v4, 6v7
Day 5: 1v6, 4v2, 3v8, 7v5
Day 6: 7v1, 8v2, 3v5, 4v6
Day 7: 1v8, 2v7, 6v3, 5v4
(where 1,2,3 etc.. are teams in alphabetical order as listed)

So day 1's rock-em-sock-em fixtures are:

Darkness Forever vs Iansisle
Quinntonia vs Rejistania
Tanah Burung vs The Esten Lands
Timway vs Zinkoland

Kryozerkia vs Polkaton
Sliponia vs Soviet Haaregrad
The Nessaful Lands vs Tranquilitis
Warner Brothers vs Warnocks Wizards

Daistallia vs Hillbilly Warriors
Kaze Progressa vs Liverpool England
Quebec Nouveau vs Scaraba
Uniginia II vs Walmington on Sea

Dennisov vs Jaurania
Kalaalit Nunaat vs New Montreal States
Plinkaville vs Slipouri
SterlingIce vs Trevorland

Sport Progressa's MATCHES TO WATCH:
Timway vs Zinkoland (the returning mini-giants of Timway against the up-and-coming Zinkoland. Exciting old vs new encounter)
Warner Brothers vs Warnocks Wizards (two of the most interesting nations in the world meet head-on. A fabulous debut for the comic strip boys)
Kalaalit Nunaat vs New Montreal States (the inventors of NationStates hockey against its hottest new recruits. We pray it's not a slaughter)

Day One results

CHERRY CONFERENCE

GRETSKY DIVISION
Darkness Forever 0 - 1 Iansisle
Quinntonia 1 - 0 Rejistania
Tanah Burung 0 - 1 The Esten Lands
Timway 1 - 1 Zinkoland

TRETIAK DIVISION
Kryozerkia 0 - 2 Polkaton
Sliponia 3 - 2 Soviet Haaregrad
The Nessaful Lands 0 - 1 Tranquilitis
Warner Brothers 1 - 4 Warnocks Wizards

McLEAN CONFERENCE

WICKENHEISER DIVISION

Daistallia 3 - 3 Hillbilly Warriors
Kaze Progressa 2 - 1 Liverpool England
Quebec Nouveau 3 - 1 Scaraba
Uniginia II 1 - 1 Walmington-on-Sea

LEMIEUX DIVISION
Dennisov 3 - 1 Jaurania
Kalaalit Nunaat 2 - 2 New Montreal States
Plinkaville 2 - 0 Slipouri
SterlingIce 2 - 2 Trevorland

Some serious upsets on this first day of hockey - we await the responses around the world!

Edit: tables may be superfluous on day one, but we do them anyway!

[code:1:03afac22e7]Gretsky Division
Team P W D L F A GD Pts
Iansisle 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 2
Quinntonia 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 2
The Esten Lands 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 2
Timway 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Zinkoland 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Darkness Forever 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
Rejistania 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
Tanah Burung 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0

Tretiak Division
Team P W D L F A GD Pts
Warnocks Wizards 1 1 0 0 4 1 3 2
Polkaton 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 2
Sliponia 1 1 0 0 3 2 1 2
Tranquillitis 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 2
Soviet Haaregrad 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
The Nessaful Lands 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
Kryozerkia 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
Warner Brothers 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0

Wickenheiser Division
Team P W D L F A GD Pts
Quebec Nouveau 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 2
Kaze Progressa 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 2
Daistallia 1 0 1 0 3 3 0 1
Hillbilly Warriors 1 0 1 0 3 3 0 1
Uniginia II 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Walmington-on-Sea 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Liverpool England 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Scaraba 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0

Lemieux Division
Team P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 2
Plinkaville 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 2
Kalaalit Nunaat 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
New Montreal States 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
SterlingIce 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
Trevorland 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
Jaurania 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
Slipouri 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
[/code:1:03afac22e7]

Ouch, we're off to a bad start. But who's gonna win this thing? Haaregradia of course! - random hockey fan in Trotskygrad

Draw with Greenlanders good start for Paladins

2-2 tie against major world power Kalaalit Nunaat puts paid to fears of slaughter

If the Paladins are going to be slaughtered, it wasn't the Greenlander's job to do it to them.

The Paladins tenaciously played to a 2-2 draw at Kalaalit Nunaat, match the favorites goal for goal while playing against a raucous crowd that vigourously supported it's home team.

Defenseman Andronicus Maynard was the surprise of the day, scoring both goals on power plays for the Paladins. Yves Brodeur claimed an assist on the first goal.

Maynard had this to say: "I'm really surprised at how well I did, looking back at the game. Every once in a while you just catch on fire I guess, and that was one of those games.

*************

OOC: Could you please put a link to the rosters?

4-1 Loss Begins Warner Brothers Campain

Warner Brothers defence didn't even look like they could hit a snowman hard against the boards tonight although they did work hard and gave it there best shot they couldnt stop the offence, Clark Norris was the only man to score a goal tonight other then that it was all down hill for warner brothers the coach wasnt to worried but said that penalty kills and defence training would take place before the next match

From Page 1D of the Ianapalis Star-Tribune

Gulls Off to Flying Start!
Vesshampton Cup Champions down Darkness Forever 1-0 in first game of Cherry Cup

Edward Pembrose
Gulls Correspondent

KAZE PROGRESSA -- The Gulls started off their third Cherry Cup campaign in a much more convincing fashion than the last two, even if it was also their first without star right wing Martin St. Amour.

St. Amour made his decision to retire following the last Cherry Cup public beforehand, and there was much recrimination amongst Gulls fans who were convinced the best Iansislean to ever strap on skates had another few seasons left in him. However, St. Amour’s miserable performance in the Cup combined with his continued injuries convinced the fan base to let him go.

However, St. Amour made sure he was on hand to witness the Gulls’ first game. And quite the game it was! Ianapalis defeated Cherry Cup newcomers Darkness Forever 1-0, and it appeared they had solved many of the persistent problems that have dogged them in past years.

Goalie Sergei Naumov, still at the top of his game at age thirty-two, was near unbeatable, though the fact that Darkness Forever only got eleven shots through the tough Ianapalis defense certainly did nothing to hurt matters. On the other end of the ice, left wing Kevin St. Jacques made a brilliant goal on a centered pass from team captain B.J. MacPherson.

The offense in general, which had struggled in past Cherry Cups, was not spectacular, but they were solid. Tape-to-tape passes were the order of the day, and the Gulls did a stupendous job of puck control.

After the game, head coach and general manager Steve Martinson seemed pleased with his sides performance.

“We played a good game of hockey out there,” he said at the post game conference. “Darkness Forever is a tough squad, and I feel that we proved to the world that this year the Gulls have the commitment to go all the way.”

Panthers Maul Soviet Haaregrad
Hammond Cup Champions of Sliponia win debut in Cherry Cup

As told by Chuck Canuck

KAZE PROGRESSA -- The Panthers (1-0-0) were on the prowl as they started off their first Cherry Cup run in a tight game against Soviet Haaregrad, a more expierenced team.

Scorers from the Panthers were Jeff Sakicº (2) and Jason Barnes (1).

According to Panther's head coach Matt Martin, hard hitting checks were responsible for the win.

"As far as our checking is concerned, Karlis [Skrastins], Teemu [Sauve], and Jordan [Konowalchuk] have to be credited with keeping us alive," Martin commented. "These three players are consistently in the Top 5 rankings of Sliponia's hardest-hitting players. Thanks to some of their key hits, including one that shattered the plexiglass, we were able to hold off Soviet Haaregrad," Martin continued.

The Blue Springs Panther's next match is on day two against Kryozerkia (0-0-1).

ºDenotes Team Captain

Liverpool England Grouped With Hosts, Lose: Professional Opinions
Josh Hinar, LEINN Soccer/Football commentator: "Uh, hockey? Ice hockey you say? Wrong professional."

After the match against Quinntonia, the Abysmals (the Rejistanians themselfs simply say "jisu'he'ny", meaning: "those, who lose highly") found a bar, that is a bit like the '"drunken pig" in Na~ovi, prizes and standards are both low. They drink and talk about the match:

I Jil: Never again will I play gila~e ice-hockey! It was that cold, my *ss nearly froze off.
Kase: Simply don't fall on it that often!
I Jil: I didn't slani decide to do so!
Kase: Then wear warmer clothes.
I Jil: I wore the warmest clothest I have, it is gila~e cold, this sport!
Suru: Why did you think it's called ice-hockey?
I Jil: Ha, slani! I need another beer!
*makes a sign for the waitress*
Dare: For me too. Not lost highly is a reason to drink!
Kase: Not lost highly, perhaps you should have played actually.
Dare: Why? It worked fine!
Kase: None of you did even attack one time! You were always behind the blue line.
Dare: You didn't, too.
Kase: I am goalie!
Dare: and we are jisu'he'ny, who haven't jisu*-ed, no matter how!

* 'jisu: to lose highly. I don't know if there is an english word for it.

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Moose Struggle to Victory
-Frederik Johansson

KAZE PROGRESSA - The Tranquillitis Moose opened their Cherry Cup campaign with an unconvincing 1-0 win over newcomers The Nessaful Lands.

A poor performance all around, the Moose were only saved by the inexperience of the Nessaful forwards, and a third period deflection goal by Markus Östberg.

The Moose coach Johan Hedberg is looking for a better performance tomorrow against Warnocks Wizards, who were 4-1 victors today over Warner Brothers.

DAY TWO RESULTS (somewhat delayed, but there we go)

CHERRY CONFERENCE
GRETSKY DIVISION
Quinntonia 2 - 1 Darkness Forever
Iansisle 0 - 1 Tanah Burung
Rejistania 1 - 2 Timway
Zinkoland 3 - 2 The Esten Lands

TRETIAK DIVISION
Sliponia 0 - 2 Kryozerkia
Polkaton 2 - 2 The Nessaful Lands
Soviet Haaregrad 2 - 0 Warner Brothers
Warnocks Wizards 3 - 5 Tranquillitis

McLEAN CONFERENCE
WICKENHEISER DIVISION
Kaze Progressa 1 - 1 Daistallia
Hillbilly Warriors 1 - 3 Quebec Nouveau
Liverpool England 2 - 0 Uniginia II
Walmington on Sea 2 - 0 Scaraba

LEMIEUX DIVISION
Kalaalit Nunaat 5 - 5 Dennisov
Jaurania 1 - 2 Plinkaville
New Montreal States 1 - 2 SterlingIce
Trevorland 0 - 1 Slipouri

The tables are a-coming - tomorrow. This is a way too early bedtime, 10:15pm local time. :S

Panthers Mauled by Kryozerkia
Blue Springs Shut Out

As told by Chuck Canuck

KAZE PROGRESSA -- The Panthers (1-0-1) were on the prowl as they defeated Soviet Haaregrad, but when Kryozerkia (1-0-1) heard that, they decided to end any hopes of going undefeated. The final was 2-0.

There we no scorers from the Panthers.

According to Panther's head coach Matt Martin, the Panthers didn't bring their "A" game.

"Well, as much as I wanted to win another match going into day three, who knows what'll happen," Martin commented. "We're not going to overlook any team,"Martin continued. "The Warners are winless but that, unfortunately may change if we don't get out act together, but I'm sure we will rebound from this loss."

The Blue Springs Panther's next match is on day three against Warner Brothers (0-0-2).

Paladins get owned

SterlingIce reveals bad goaltending of Paladins in 2-1 loss

The Ice Paladins failed to deliver any improvements in goal after the 2-2 draw against Kalaalit Nunaat.

Instead, maddeningly variable goaltending proved to be the downfall of the Ice Paladins in a 2-1 loss to SterlingIce.

Martin Roy managed to stop 7 extremely difficult shots in a 90 second span late in the second period. As the third period began he let in two very weak shots from the blue line to put SterlingIce up 2-0.

Hopes of a rally when Harald the Red scored with 5 minutes left in the game were squelched when SterlingIce managed to play a very tough defense. Roy was yanked in favor of a fourth foward but even that failed to produce results.

"It was what we deserved," said D Andronicus Maynard. "SterlingIce managed to control the tempo and flow of the game. They are certainly a very tough team and we were lucky that this game wasn't 5-1 instead of 2-1."

The Standard
Now graduated to the back page..

Even with a major international cricket tournament in its initial stages, Walmingtonians found themselves increasingly caught up in this new ice-bound sport.

The Red Bears have started fairly well, with no defeats in the first two games. While this sort of performance might be expected to provide a major confidence boost to the amatures, in fact betting shops across the kingdom have failed to significantly shorten the team's odds.

"In truth bye far the toughest challenges are yet to come, and with the chance for a win against Uniginia II missed, there's every chance that the team will finish mid table and miss qualification again." This the considered opinion of one Southshire bookie.

Norbray gamblers at least remain more confident, increasingly holding keeper Clifford Uppington to be "getting the hang of it!"

One Norbray resident commented that, "At least we're not the Ians.."

ooc: GretZky!

Iansisle, hope you don't mind if i look for a bizarre explanation of how my team could possibly beat the Gulls. Will edit if necessary.

IC:

The Cassowaries were unsurprised to find themselves on the wrong end of a 1-0 scoreline against rank newcomers The Esten Lands in their Cherry Cup opener.

And then came Iansisle.

Tanah Burung played the Gulls in Cherry Cup 1 and managed a draw before going on to a dismal finish in which they earned just five points. (Even that looked good after a zero-point finish in Cherry Cup 2.) In this avian clash, the Cassowaries tried a new stimulant gum in place of their usual marijuana. And the results were "faburiffic, dude!" according to Cassowaries' goalie Mau Sumo.

The Gulls were distressed as the final whistle neared and another draw against possibly the worst team in the hockey universe loomed. And so they pulled their goalie and went for the win. Brave, but a mistake. As the Gulls pressed, Mau Sumo got his stick on the puck. He cleared it around the boards. The puck hit linesman Ron Dell's skate, deflected upwards, bounced off the nose of spectator Patty Noire, and fell into the Gulls' net as both teams looked on with shock and horror respectively. The whistle blew. 1-0 Cassowaries.

It was the greatest day in Tanah Burung hockey history.

NS forums are evil. It's a sign of the decline of our great game since the Chicken Swedes arrived. Yer a jerk, Mclean. Buy my novelty beer cans. Etc.

A tie against New Montreal States? A tie against Dennisov? Pull up your socks, my Inuit brothers! Failure to make the playoffs is not acceptable.
Susan Aglukark
President of Greenland

Iansisle, hope you don't mind if i look for a bizarre explanation of how my team could possibly beat the Gulls. Will edit if necessary.

(hey, anything works for me ;). In fact, I'm so honored that someone's actually RPing the other half of my match (something that very rarely happened in the World Cup) that I'm willing to grant you anything! I'll be sure to add the events to my news article when I type it up later.)

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Moose Pull Off Two Straight
-Frederik Johansson

KAZE PROGRESSA - The Tranquillitis Moose took the early lead in their division after an exciting 5-3 victory over Warnocks Wizards.

The Moose got goals from Markus Bergstrom, Fredrik Ljundberg, Kristopher Jokela, Gustav Enstahl, and Anders Eriksson. After going into the third period tied at 3-3, Enstahl and Eriksson put the game away for the Moose.

Their next match is against promising newcomers Polkaton, who are 1-1-0 so far in the tournament.

From the Sherbrooke Sentinel

Annihilators Go 2/0 3-1!!! A's Outskate Competition!

In both games one and two of the Third Annual Don Cherry Cup, in what can only be described as one of the most fantastical coincidences in Quebecois hockey, the hometeam heroes, the Sherbrooke Annihilators took on both the Hillbilly Warriors and Scaraba, rolling over both teams consecutively with scores of 3-1. The news has crowds spilling out in the street, waving plastic sabres and shouting "Go, Go Red and Black!!" A's coach Michael Rivet, promised a more hard-hitting team this year, and by all accounts, seems to have delivered. "When I first said that I was bringing out a new and improved Sherbrooke," he said, "I was not joking. I think we are a much mor esolid team this year, oui?"

2-0 defeat leave warner brothers in dissaray


Defence!!!! Defence!!!!!! What Defence?????

those were the words of an angry warner brothers coach tonight after the second loss for the loony tunes, hi i'm al micheals and welcome to sportscenter another misable loss put warner brothers in last place in their division with almost no hopes in making the playoffs, the coach was furious with his team and it showed as he pick up a hockey stick and smashed against the bench after the game, he refused to comment on the game after his fit of rage. In other News monday night football gave us a thrilling match with the Gotham City Knights Beating the Dodge Vipers 21-17......

Day Three results:

CHERRY CONFERENCE
GRETSKY DIVISION
Darkness Forever 1 - 3 Rejistania
The Esten Lands 2 - 2 Iansisle
Timway 1 - 3 Quinntonia
Tanah Burung 2 - 2 Zinkoland

TRETIAK DIVISION
Kryozerkia 1 - 4 Soviet Haaregrad
Tranquillitis 1 - 0 Polkaton
Warner Brothers 2 - 7 Sliponia
The Nessaful Lands 1 - 3 Warnocks Wizards

McLEAN CONFERENCE
WICKENHEISER DIVISION
Daistallia 0 - 1 Liverpool England
Scaraba 2 - 1 Hillbilly Warriors
Kaze Progressa 4 - 1 Uniginia II
Quebec Nouveau 3 - 1 Walmington on Sea

LEMIEUX DIVISION
Dennisov 4 - 2 New Montreal States
Slipouri 2 - 1 Jaurania
SterlingIce 3 - 5 Kalaalit Nunaat
Plinkaville 2 - 2 Trevorland

Updated tables:

[code:1:c67a6bb5ba]
GRETSKY DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Quinntonia 3 3 0 0 6 2 4 6
Zinkoland 3 1 2 0 6 5 1 4
Iansisle 3 2 0 1 3 2 1 4
Tanah Burung 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 3
Timway 3 1 1 1 4 5 -1 3
Rejistania 3 1 0 2 4 4 0 2
The Esten Lands 3 1 0 2 4 5 -1 2
Darkness Forever 3 0 0 3 2 6 -4 0

TRETIAK DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Tranquillitis 3 3 0 0 7 3 4 6
Sliponia 3 2 0 1 10 6 4 4
Soviet Haaregrad 3 2 0 1 8 4 4 4
Warnocks Wizards 3 2 0 1 10 7 3 4
Polkaton 3 1 1 1 4 3 1 3
Kryozerkia 3 1 0 2 3 6 -3 2
The Nessaful Lands 3 0 1 2 3 6 -3 1
Warner Brothers 3 0 0 3 3 13 -10 0

WICKENHEISER DIV. P W D L F A GD Pts
Quebec Nouveau 3 3 0 0 9 3 6 6
Kaze Progressa 3 2 1 0 7 3 4 5
Liverpool England 3 2 0 1 4 2 2 4
Walmington-on-Sea 3 1 1 1 4 4 0 3
Daistallia 3 0 2 1 4 5 -1 2
Scaraba 3 1 0 2 3 6 -3 2
Hillbilly Warriors 3 0 1 2 5 8 -3 1
Uniginia II 3 0 1 2 2 7 -5 1

LEMIEUX DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov 3 2 1 0 12 8 4 5
Plinkaville 3 2 1 0 6 3 3 5
Kalaalit Nunaat 3 1 2 0 12 10 2 4
Slipouri 3 2 0 1 3 3 0 4
SterlingIce 3 1 1 1 7 8 -1 3
Trevorland 3 0 2 1 4 5 -1 2
New Montreal States 3 0 1 2 5 8 -3 1
Jaurania 3 0 0 3 3 7 -4 0
[/code:1:c67a6bb5ba]

OOC:
< KP> Rejis: if you want to avoid any criticism of grammar and spelling, post an entire RP in Rejistanian!

IC:
Hejida Keva, Hejida Meva,

Iln'la'su, xe'aru sija'jet sunra. Xe'aru Kaze-Verokresa'ra. Xe'la'visko het'ta iln yke, xe'la'intidi, iln'kansu'ta jilih. Iln'la'kansu'ta hakim va'tan'xe. Iln'ma'ta mer'visko xe sija. Xe'milhan hokeji jidera tani'mesit'ny'ra Xerry-Kuv'ra Kaze-Verokresa'ra. Visko'ta'iln, xe'aru koleni'sis. Xen'la'viki sija ly ja mje. Jilih'mi'la'aru viki'het rejistanha mjehet ji xe'la'milhan ji 'la'xkora.
Sa Ven
Dal

In case you did not understand anything, here is the translation:
Hello dad, Hello Mum,

You asked where I am at the moment. I am in Kaze Progressa. I didn't tell you, because I feared, you wouldn't take it seriously. You never take seriously what I do. But you can not make fun of me now: I play in the Ice-hockey national team in the Cheery Cup in Kaze Progressa. Don't say I'm out of my mind! We have won 3-1. This was the first rejistanian victory - and I did play and score.
Greetings
Dal

EDIT: included the translation,
EDIT2: fixed some errors in the english translation
EDIT3: fixed one error in the rejsitanian text, no one would ever notice.

OOC: :D:D

IC from the Kangaroo:

UP AND RUNNING

After an awkward start in their first two games, Kaze Progressa destroyed potential banana skin Uniginia II 4-1 last night.

The Progressans took a 3-0 lead in period one through two goals from Kamikli and one from Bridda. After conceding a goal early in period three, Buk Buzzin's shot from behind the blue line restored the three-goal lead which never disappeared.

The Progressans are expected to record a good run of wins now, as they aim to secure the best draw for the McLean Conference playoffs.

"We'll that's ruined the defensive record." Sir Henry Wayne's reaction as one of his companions whispered the Quebec scoreline in his ear. The fact of Norbray's continued domination of his own private team in the domestic theatre only made the Red Bear's defeat more depressing.

"I don't know what happened." Lamented Red Bears keeper Clifford Uppington. "I thought these new Quebecois were first timers. We were told they'd had a winning streak, and all assumed it was time for their momentum to fade.
"Who knew Canadians could play hockey?" He finished, painfully rotating his damaged wrist, as behind him young hotshot Regie Whiteside gave some tiles the kicking they deserved after his failure to score in the 3-1 defeat.

Walmington's only successful shot was struck early on by George Yeboba, first colonial to score -or indeed even play- for the WoS national side. Soon after that start, the lately over-confident Red Bears were played off the ice, and everybody started talking about how well the cricket team played last week.

Wow did I miss a lot.

The moral of these three games is this. 5 goals given up in three games should be quite good, the problem is when you score 4 in that same amount of time.

It looks like it's gonna be a dog fight. I just need to find me a scorer. After seeing the games, we've had many volunteers from many angry Trevorland residents. We'll see what happens.

Lousy goaltending causes collapse

4-2 slaughter by Dennisov reminescent of Paladin soccer collapse

The Ice Paladins failed to provide any semblance of defense whatsoever once again, falling 4-2 to Dennisov in Lemieux Divison action.

Andronicus Maynard, described as "the only player on this team who has half a clue" put in the first goal early in the first half to put the Paladins up 1-0, scoring his 3rd goal of the season. Two quick goals from Dennisov to kick off the second period put them up 2-1, with the Dennisov skaters cutting through the Paladins as if they were made of marshmellows and chewing gum. Midway through the third period Dennisov added another one to put it up 3-1. Fabrice Pilon scored on a fluke shot that bounced off a defender's stick, off the goalie's left pad, deflected off the crossbar and off the goalie's mitt and into the goal.

With 1:07 to go in the game and no goaltender in for the Paladins, Dennisov managed to put it away with a final goal on a breakaway.

Comrade Binh's statement:
DUDE WE ARE SO IN SECOND PLACE.. GO COMRADES.. WE NEED A MORE CREATIVE NAME!

From the Sherbrooke Sentinel December 17, 2003

Annihilators Heat Up Ice. Defeat Walmington-On-Sea 3-1.

The Annihilators skated to their third 3-1 win last night against the well-respected Walmington-On-Sea team in what has been touted as one of the most exciting games in Quebecois history. The first goal, scored in the first period, came from left wing Jean-Luc LeFluer off a powerful slapshot, that sent the puck blazing past the Bear's goalie's head. The second goal, coming in the second period from Centre Serj Lejoix swept past the goalie in the five hole, just as the buzzer went off. And, with 13 seconds left, Power forward Joseph St. Laurent skated towards the goal, and fired the puck at the last second, crashing into the boards with his own momentum, sending a chorus of "oohs" and "ahhs" from the audience.
Quebec Nouveau goes on to play Daistallia next.

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Moose Take Three out of Three
-Frederik Johansson

KAZE PROGRESSA - Although it was an ugly game offensively, the Moose somehow found a way to win.

Kristopher Jokela's first period goal at the 11:54 mark was the only goal in a very defensive minded game. The trap was employed by the Moose, who, not being on their home rink, have no one to impress by their play, but know that their home fans will see the results. Goaltender Adam Hölmqvist earned his 2nd shutout in three games.

The next match is against the Warner Brothers, who will be looking to bounce back from a 7-2 thrashing at the hands of newcomes Sliponia.

7-2 slaughter leaves many warner brother citizens wondering why they entered the cup

A Tired Crowd and A Tired looking team, nobody could put anything together for warner brothers and now they have no chance on going though to the playoffs, like a old man trying walk up a steep hill, the defence of warner brothers looks tired and ready to break a hip.

Better Results are hoped for but on current form they are almost non-existant

Quinntonian Saints are praising God for their start to this season, perhaps they cna be contenders after all this year!
WWJD
Amen.

DAY FOUR:

CHERRY CONFERENCE
GRETSKY DIVISION
Tanah Burung 1 - 2 Darkness Forever
Iansisle 1 - 4 Quinntonia
Zinkoland 1 - 1 Rejistania
The Esten Lands 2 - 0 Timway

TRETIAK DIVISION
The Nessaful Lands 1 - 4 Kryozerkia
Polkaton 2 - 2 Sliponia
Warnocks Wizards 3 - 1 Soviet Haaregrad
Tranquilitis 4 - 2 Warner Brothers

McLEAN CONFERENCE
WICKENHEISER DIVISION
Quebec Nouveau 4 - 2 Daistallia
Hillbilly Warriors 1 - 2 Kaze Progressa
Walmington-on-Sea 0 - 2 Liverpool England
Scaraba 2 - 3 Uniginia II

LEMIEUX DIVISION
Plinkaville 0 - 5 Dennisov
Jaurania 2 - 2 Kalaalit Nunaat
Trevorland 1 - 2 New Montreal States
Slipouri 1 - 3 SterlingIce

[code:1:574602a822][GRETSKY DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Quinntonia 4 4 0 0 10 3 7 8
Zinkoland 4 1 3 0 7 6 1 5
The Esten Lands 4 2 0 2 6 5 1 4
Iansisle 4 2 0 2 4 6 -2 4
Rejistania 4 1 1 2 5 5 0 3
Tanah Burung 4 1 1 2 4 5 -1 3
Timway 4 1 1 2 4 7 -3 3
Darkness Forever 4 1 0 3 4 7 -3 2

TRETIAK DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Tranquillitis 4 4 0 0 11 5 6 8
Warnocks Wizards 4 3 0 1 13 8 5 6
Sliponia 4 2 1 1 12 8 4 5
Soviet Haaregrad 4 2 0 2 9 7 2 4
Polkaton 4 1 2 1 6 5 1 4
Kryozerkia 4 2 0 2 7 7 0 4
The Nessaful Lands 4 0 1 3 4 10 -6 1
Warner Brothers 4 0 0 4 5 17 -12 0

WICKENHEISER DIV. P W D L F A GD Pts
Quebec Nouveau 4 4 0 0 13 5 8 8
Kaze Progressa 4 3 1 0 9 4 5 7
Liverpool England 4 3 0 1 6 2 4 6
Walmington-on-Sea 4 1 1 2 4 6 -2 3
Uniginia II 4 1 1 2 5 9 -4 3
Daistallia 4 0 2 2 6 9 -3 2
Scaraba 4 1 0 3 5 9 -4 2
Hillbilly Warriors 4 0 1 3 6 10 -4 1

LEMIEUX DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov 4 3 1 0 17 8 9 7
Kalaalit Nunaat 4 1 3 0 14 12 2 5
SterlingIce 4 2 1 1 10 9 1 5
Plinkaville 4 2 1 1 6 8 -2 5
Slipouri 4 2 0 2 4 6 -2 4
New Montreal States 4 1 1 2 7 9 -2 3
Trevorland 4 0 2 2 5 7 -2 2
Jaurania 4 0 1 3 5 9 -4 1[/code:1:574602a822]

From the Sherbrooke Sentinel December 19 2003

Sherbrooke Skates to Victory. Defeats Daistallia In Close 4-2 Match

Last night, Sherbrooke's own Annihilators played a hard won match to overcome the Daistallia team, a major source of anxiety, 4-2.
The decisive fourth goal came in the third period, with 5 minutes left, on a power play as Right Wing David Liebowitz skated down the ice, and fired off a slapshot that overshot the goal and cracked the glass behind it. The shot was recovered by Centre Jean-Luc LeFleur and hooked into the goal. "[It] was not where I was aiming it to go," said Liebowitz in an interview after the game. "But, Oy gevhaldt! Wasn't it a neat effect?" Liebowitz's powerful shots and tricky skating have earned him the sobriquet, "The Rocket Rabbi" in his hometown of Sherbrooke, where he is an actual Rabbi. Coach Rivet was able to laugh after the game regarding Liebowitz's crazy shots. "Oh, yes! We like to joke during practice that everyone should wear two helmets when Dave takes the ice. You never know where his shots are going to fly!"
The Annihilators go on to play Uniginia II next. The usual crowds of cheering fans that flood the streets of Sherbrooke have been quiet tonight, due to more than 100 centimetres of freezing rain and snow that have fallen in the past two days.

4-2 and no hope left for a tired warner brothers team

The Dream Is Over For Warner Brothers

Warner brothers coach might be out of work after this dissmal failure at the Cherry Cup his team in TOI (toons on ice) The Animanics have told local media that if thats how their coatch performs at international level then they will not be needing his services next year.

The Standard- Walmington doesn't want to talk about it

After such high hopes early on, recent Red Bears failures have put a serious dent in Walmy spirits. PM Mainwaring is said to have considered asking other nations to make their teams let in a few goals to the incompetent Red Bears offence, for the sake of the nation's war-time moral.

The Red Bears put their failure to score against "a bunch of scousers, who were probably up on bricks rather than skates" down to the fact of Whiteside's mysteriously broken skate.

"Yeah, I... can't imagine how it happened." Said the faltering and frustrated young star, leaning in front of cracked tiles in the dressing room.

Walmington's hockeying confidence is only dented further by the fact of Norbray's domination of the domestic league- all six sides of it. The Red Bears won five out of five games, scoring forty six and conceding only one goal, in a seven one drubbing of the Wayne-easys, Walmington's only pro team.

There doesn't appear to be much prospect of improvement in the near future, as potential recruits face the draft ahead of Walmington's clash on sand -the Afrika Corps loom.

"Promising" Paladins beat "Promising" Trevorland to get first win

In a game marred by the fact that the toilets kept getting jammed by large wads of promise each time the toilets flushed, the "promising" bottom-dwelling Ice Paladins managed to overcome the flooding in their locker rooms and beat "promising" bottom-dwelling Trevorland 2-1 in Lemieux Divison action last night.

The scene in the Paladin locker room after all 10 toilets overflowed and flooded the room with an inch and a half of water with big chunks of promise. "It smelt like, well, promise," said defender Yves Brodeur, who then went on to score midway through the first half to put the Paladins up 1-0.

Harald the Red put in his second goal of the season at the end of the 2nd period to put the Paladins up 2-0, despite the fact that he was wearing shorts two sizes too small for him as his regular pair were on the floor and ended up covered in promise. "That was as uncomfortable as anything," said Harald. "That'll remind me to bring along and extra pair or three."

<player> managed to score for Trevorland 5 minutes into the third period, sparking fears of a Trevorland rally and a Paladin collapse. "Scared the promise out of me," said the coach. "But we held on. That's how this game was all along - holding on, all the way. Trevorland put up a good fight, we were just lucky that we could fight as well as they could. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go bleach all this promise out of my dress socks."

"Promising" Paladins beat "Promising" Trevorland to get first win

In a game marred by the fact that the toilets kept getting jammed by large wads of promise each time the toilets flushed, the "promising" bottom-dwelling Ice Paladins managed to overcome the flooding in their locker rooms and beat "promising" bottom-dwelling Trevorland 2-1 in Lemieux Divison action last night.

The scene in the Paladin locker room after all 10 toilets overflowed and flooded the room with an inch and a half of water with big chunks of promise. "It smelt like, well, promise," said defender Yves Brodeur, who then went on to score midway through the first half to put the Paladins up 1-0.

Harald the Red put in his second goal of the season at the end of the 2nd period to put the Paladins up 2-0, despite the fact that he was wearing shorts two sizes too small for him as his regular pair were on the floor and ended up covered in promise. "That was as uncomfortable as anything," said Harald. "That'll remind me to bring along and extra pair or three."

<player> managed to score for Trevorland 5 minutes into the third period, sparking fears of a Trevorland rally and a Paladin collapse. "Scared the promise out of me," said the coach. "But we held on. That's how this game was all along - holding on, all the way. Trevorland put up a good fight, we were just lucky that we could fight as well as they could. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go bleach all this promise out of my dress socks."

(OOC: Please forgive any typos or anything that just really doesn't make sense at all since I'm right drunk at the moment)

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Moose Win Yet Again
-Frederik Johansson

KAZE PROGRESSA - The Tranquillitis Moose further established their ice hockey savvy last night with a 4-2 defeat of the Warner Brothers.

After falling behind 2-0 early in the 1st period, Adam Hölmqvist quickly recovered to put in a fabulous performance, while Fredrik Ljundberg scored twice in rapid succession to tie up the game before the 1st intermission. Markus Bergstrom and Matthew Salo scored in the 2nd, while a tightly contested 3rd period yielded no goals, making the final 4-2 in favour of the Moose.

The Moose now sit on top of the Tretiak Division, 2 points ahead of Warnocks Wizards. The win over the Wizards on the 2nd Day of the competition is holding up for the Moose, who have only 3 games left before an extremely likely playoff birth. The next match is with Kryozerkia, before playing Soviet Haaregrad, ending the round robin with a game against Sliponia.

Divine Intervention?
Saints smite Gulls 1-4!

So read the headline on the front page of the next day’s Ianapalis Star-Tribune. Steve Martinson wasn’t sure he could face his team after the humuliating loss against who the Gulls felt was their ‘main rival.’ Whether the Saints truly felt challenged by the Gulls remained to be seen, as many proposed that the Saints merely thought of them as funny, over-inflated ego maniacs good for a little righteous smack down every now and then.

Whatever they were, the loss was greeted with dismay across the Commonwealth. The cry of “Remember, we won the consolation prize in the First Cherry Cup!” didn’t seem to have the same effect it did after only one futile season.

Tomorrow brings the Gulls up against Rejistania. “We should be able to beat a team named the ‘Abysmals’ ...hopefully,’” said Martinson at a press conference, careful to avoid any commitments like his embarrassing “The Saints? They’ll wish they were in heaven by the time we’re finished with ‘em!” prediction.

Daistallia once again shows our disappointment at the DIHF for it's re-appointment of and continued support for coach Jon McGuirk (http://coack_mcguirk.tripod.com/COACHMCGUIRK/id4.html).

Double RP for the last two matches

Panthers Mercilessly Maul Warners
7-2 Blowout is Cautiously Celebrated

As told by Chuck Canuck

KAZE PROGRESSA -- The Panthers (2-1-1) were on the prowl as they started off their match the same way the ended it; with a goal. The convincing 7-2 win over the Warners was a major boost to the team.

Scorers from the Panthers were the hat trick heros Jeff Sakic (5) and Jason Barnes (4) as well as a goal chipped in by Steve Modano (1).


RP#2

Panthers Draw Polkaton in Close Match
2-2 Draw Keeps Spirits Up

As told by Chuck Canuck

KAZE PROGRESSA -- The Panthers (2-1-1) were on lucky to win, according to Coach Martin. The Panthers fell to an early 2 goal deficit in the first period. However, thanks to the trickery of Steve Modano and Mike Ott two goals were made in the second period to secure the draw.

Scorers from the Panthers were Steve Modano (2) and Mike Ott (1).

The Blue Springs Panther's next match is on day five in a crucial match against Warnock (3-0-1).

After the match, the Abysmals are in the 'drunken-pig'-like bar and enjoy the imported alcohol. Only Yen Kase is sober, the others drink as if they had lost and want to forget.

Sal: Gila~e, I can't believe, that we won!
Kase: That's because we didn't win.
Sal: We draw, that's winning!
Kase: The game ended 1-1.
Nuve: That's what Da [Sal] means!
Kase: A draw is a slani draw and not a win.
I Jil: 'A narrow loss is a high win!' so what did we do?
Kase: I can't believe, that you use this crazy quote.
I Jil: I like it. ' fits our situation.
Kase: We surely can be good if we finally stop playing drunk!
All others: NEVER!
Kase: You don't seriously want to be the worst-team-in-the-world, do you?
All others: Hey, we want!
*Kase leaves the pub, it looks as if he is fleeing.*

Plinkavillian Times
-George. E. Stienbrunner-

After getting off to a good start in the race for the Cup, The Hasegawayen Telemarketers (Plinkaville's national team) has struggled as of late. In their most recent game, they skated to a 5-0 loss to the leader of their division (Lemiux Division), Dennisov. "I guess we just had a bad night", claims defenson Johan Girard. "Maybe a little more hustle, and we could've popped in a few". After the game, disappointed coach Scotty Jeorgia made a few quick comments. "You know, are offense has been really horrible. A few of the guys are getting discouraged. I just keep telling them that this is the real deal, none of that pond hockey they played back home. I'm just glad that we're done with them [Dennisov], and expect us to be ready for the next game". The "hated people", as their known back home, will be having a practice this morning at an undisclosed location. From all of us in Hasegawaya, good luck, Telemarketers, and go get 'em.

Uniginia II Looks As Though It May Pull Off A Playoff Spot. (Yeh Right!!)

Uniginia II Looks To Be As Lackluster As Their Predecessors Although They Seem To Be Off To A Better Start Than Uniginia I.

Day five results are here!

CHERRY CONFERENCE
GRETSKY DIVISION
Darkness Forever 0 - 0 The Esten Lands
Rejistania 2 - 3 Iansisle
Quinntonia 2 - 1 Zinkoland
Timway 2 - 0 Tanah Burung

TRETIAK DIVISION
Kryozerkia 1 - 2 Tranquilitis
Soviet Haaregrad 0 - 2 Polkaton
Sliponia 2 - 4 Warnocks Wizards
Warner Brothers 4 - 0 The Nessaful Lands

McLEAN CONFERENCE
WICKENHEISER DIVISION
Daistallia 0-2 Scabara
Liverpool England 1-2 Hillbilly Warriors
Kaze Progressa 3-4 Walmington-on-Sea
Uniginia II 2-0 Quebec Nouveau

LEMIEUX DIVISION
Dennisov 0 - 1 Slipouri
New Montreal States 2 - 1 Jaurania
Kalallit Nunaat 1 - 2 Trevorland
SterlingIce 3 - 3 Plinkaville

[code:1:d9f78035e9]GRETSKY DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Quinntonia 5 5 0 0 12 4 8 10
Iansisle 5 3 0 2 7 8 -1 6
The Esten Lands 5 2 1 2 6 5 1 5
Zinkoland 5 1 3 1 8 8 0 5
Timway 5 2 1 2 6 7 -1 5
Rejistania 5 1 1 3 7 8 -1 3
Darkness Forever 5 1 1 3 4 7 -3 3
Tanah Burung 5 1 1 3 4 7 -3 3

LEMIEUX DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Tranquillitis 5 5 0 0 13 6 7 10
Warnocks Wizards 5 4 0 1 17 10 7 8
Polkaton 5 2 2 1 8 5 3 6
Sliponia 5 2 1 2 14 12 2 5
Soviet Haaregrad 5 2 0 3 9 9 0 4
Kryozerkia 5 2 0 3 8 9 -1 4
Warner Brothers 5 1 0 4 9 17 -8 2
The Nessaful Lands 5 0 1 4 4 14 -10 1

WICKENHEISER DIV. P W D L F A GD Pts
Quebec Nouveau 5 4 0 1 13 7 6 8
Kaze Progressa 5 3 1 1 12 8 4 7
Liverpool England 5 3 0 2 7 4 3 6
Walmington-on-Sea 5 2 1 2 8 9 -1 5
Uniginia II 5 2 1 2 7 9 -2 5
Scaraba 5 2 0 3 7 9 -2 4
Hillbilly Warriors 5 1 1 3 8 11 -3 3
Daistallia 5 0 2 3 6 11 -5 2

LEMIEUX DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov 5 3 1 1 17 9 8 7
SterlingIce 5 2 2 1 13 12 1 6
Slipouri 5 3 0 2 5 6 -1 6
Plinkaville 5 2 2 1 9 11 -2 6
Kalaalit Nunaat 5 1 3 1 15 14 1 5
New Montreal States 5 2 1 2 9 10 -1 5
Trevorland 5 1 2 2 7 8 -1 4
Jaurania 5 0 1 4 6 11 -5 1[/code:1:d9f78035e9]

A note hangs on the wall of the Na~ovi kalian bar, whichs name means translated "The Drunken Pig":
Important announcement:

We support the rejistanian Abysmals in their quest for the last place. We hope, that they'll soon be here agin to tell us their stories themselfes. It looked for a short period of time as if the Abysmals would do the unthinkable and actually qualify, but after an unexpected win and a also unexpected draw, they now have found their way again. Maybe Yen Kase has done the best for the team as he left it and Kaze-Progressa. Substitute Lyku Axux had defended the honor of the Absymals and let in one more goal then Sergei Naumov. Sdi Kora called us to tell us the result and he said, that he didn't intend to score twice (once even archieving the lead, can you imagine that?), it just happened. We are looking forward to being defeated by Tanah Burung to get our last place in the table back.

GO ABYSMALS!

Jauranian woes continue at hands of Paladins

Maynard, St. Louis score to net three point for Paladins

Andronicus Maynard and Guillame St. Louis each scored late in the game to put the Paladins over Jaurania 2-1.

Jaurania had scored early in the second period and had been playing a very tough defense. Paladin drives past Jaurania's blue line were short lived, none lasting more than a minute until the prospect of a loss galvanized the Paladins.

Maynard put it in for the tie at 10:54 into the third period. St. Louis follwed at 11:48 to put it all away for the Paladins as they gained their second consecutive victory.

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Who Can Stop the Moose?
-Frederik Johansson

KAZE PROGRESSA - It is said that good teams find a way to win, and that certainly seems to be the case for the Tranquillitis Moose.

After their comfortable defeat of Warner Brothers, the Moose needed overtime to defeat newcomers Kryozerkia. After Andreas Olafsson put the Moose in front early in the second, the team from Kryozerkia got a goal late in the third after pulling the goaltender, sending the game into overtime. At 2:04 of the extra frame, Markus Östberg slid the puck through the legs of the Kryozerkian goalie, giving the Moose a 2-1 win.

Warnocks Wizards kept pace with the Moose, winning 4-2 against Sliponia, while Polkaton continued to impress with a 2-0 win over Soviet Haaregrad, keeping them 4 places from the top. With Quebec Nouveau's loss, only the Moose and Quinntonia Saints still hold perfect records. Tranquillitis Ishockey Forbundet President Tomas Söderström sent the Quinntonia team a Bible lined with gold trim, signed by all of the Moose players and coaches, congratulating them on the perfect season thus far.

"It is really gratifying to know that the two devout nations in the competition are still the only two undefeated," Moose captain Fredrik Ljundberg said. "It is a big faith booster."

The Moose are expecting a tough task ahead of them, as they play Soviet Haaregrad in the next game, before finishing off the season with a game against Sliponia. The Moose look like solid bets to head to the playoffs.

The Tablet
Walmington's tabloid press is drunkenly born!

And Walmington did drink merrily as Regie Whiteside slammed in a hattrick on receiving new skates from the Kaze side's locker room whilest they were .. well who cares what they were doing; they weren't watching their skates, that's for sure!

The Progressans, it was assumed, would roll-over demoralised Walmington, but young firebrand Whiteside was in no mood to suffer further, sticking it as he did to the Kaze defence like III Corps to Mussolini's greatest of imperial wars.

True, the Progressans may have out-played the Red Bears in many respects, but as it happens Norbray spirit can injure more players than a 3rd party official can discipline, as Walmington fought their way to the narrowest of victories at the expense of the nation's civilised reputation.

Keeper Uppington was withdrawn early on for fear that he would be charged with assault, and substitute Alshon proved himself competent, letting in two but saving countless other shots against a largely more competent side.

It appears that Walmington's "get the puck to Regie" policy may yet pay off.

Of course defeat in the final matches may well have this paper ridiculing the pathetic efforts of the side, but it is the owner's hope that our inane chatter will have eroded the nation's minds sufficently for no one to remember our contemporary support for the Reds.

OOC: All Wickenheiser Division results from now on (including that one, though I generated a 2-0 loss for the Progressans myself :p) will be generated by a neutral, namely Commerce Heights.

IC and from the Kangaroo:

To the defenders in our ice hockey side:
IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS YET

A defence as generous as Santa Claus himself meant the Progressans threw away a winning position to lose 4-3 against Walmington-on-Sea in the Kaza Ice Center.

The Progressans played a clean game, with slick passing moves, but were consistently barged out of these, though the Walmington aggression sometimes got out of hand. It was such a moment that gave the Progressans the early lead, Kamikli elbowed in the chest when almost clean on goal before putting away the resultant penalty shot.

But it was a similar piece of aggression that enabled the Red Bears to level two minutes before the end of period one, Regie Whiteside forcing his way past Remilik Jurrza before changing direction, doing much the same to Turint Luzinda, and opening up space for the shot which easily beat Fayu Nunkaznal.

The second period was even more characterised by Red Bears violence, including from keeper Uppington who quickly became a target for Progressans with similar anger, especially after he made several fine saves to kill off a power play. He was eventually withdrawn before the situation got any more out of hand. Alshon, his replacement, began inauspiciously when Roful LaMayo wristed home a narrow-angle shot past him within two minutes of his arrival, but the Red Bears struck back through a powerful shot from the blue line from <player>.

Early in the third period, Whiteside got himself sin-binned for cross-checking, and Kamikli scored within seconds of the power play's beginning. But Whiteside's response was almost immediate, with a goal just seventy seconds after coming back on.

The end was perhaps fitting of the whole game. A Walmington centre was sin-binned, the Progressans were denied by successive Alshon saves, and on a breakaway Whiteside scored the shorthanded winner with three minutes left that silenced most of the 20,000 fans.

The Progressans, however, remain very warm favourites to reach the playoffs, and another win or two will give them a favourable draw.

OOC: KP asked me to generate the results since he does not have the time.

IC:
Match results:

Cherry Conference

Gretzky Division
Rejistania 0 - 2 The Esten Lands
Zinkoland 1 - 1 Iansisle
Quinntonia 3 - 0 Tanah Burung
Timway 3 - 0 Darkness Forever

Tretiak Division:
Soviet Haaregrad 2 - 2 Tranquilitis
Warnocks Wizards 3 - 1 Polkaton
Sliponia 0 - 1 The Nessaful Lands
Warner Brothers 3 - 3 Kryozerkia

McLean Conference

Wickenheiser Division:
Liverpool England 1 - 2 Scaraba
Walmington-on-Sea 5 - 1 Hillbilly Warriors
Kaze Progressa 2 - 2 Quebec Nouveau
Uniginia (II) 1 - 2 Daistallia

Lemieux Division:
New Montreal States 3 - 1 Slipouri
Trevorland 2 - 2 Jaurania
Kalallit Nunaat 5 - 2 Plinkaville
SterlingIce 1 - 3 Dennisov

[code:1:27c438d60e]GRETSKY DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Quinntonia 6 6 0 0 15 4 11 13
Iansisle 6 3 1 2 8 9 -1 7
The Esten Lands 6 3 1 2 8 5 1 7
Zinkoland 6 1 4 1 9 9 0 6
Timway 6 3 1 2 9 7 2 5
Rejistania 6 1 1 4 7 10 -3 3
Darkness Forever 6 1 1 4 4 10 -6 3
Tanah Burung 6 1 1 4 4 10 -6 3

LEMIEUX DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Tranquillitis 6 5 1 0 15 8 7 11
Warnocks Wizards 6 4 1 1 20 11 9 10
Polkaton 6 2 2 2 9 8 1 6
Sliponia 6 2 1 3 14 13 1 5
Soviet Haaregrad 6 2 1 3 11 11 0 5
Kryozerkia 6 2 1 3 11 12 -1 5
Warner Brothers 6 1 1 4 12 20 -8 3
The Nessaful Lands 6 1 1 4 5 14 -9 3

WICKENHEISER DIV. P W D L F A GD Pts
Quebec Nouveau 6 4 1 1 15 9 6 9
Kaze Progressa 6 3 1 1 14 10 4 8
Walmington-on-Sea 6 3 1 2 13 10 3 7
Liverpool England 6 3 0 3 8 6 2 6
Scaraba 6 3 0 3 9 10 -1 6
Uniginia II 6 2 1 3 8 11 -2 5
Daistallia 6 1 2 3 8 12 -4 4
Hillbilly Warriors 6 1 1 4 9 16 -7 3

LEMIEUX DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov 6 4 1 1 20 10 10 9
Kalaalit Nunaat 6 2 3 1 20 16 4 7
New Montreal States 6 3 1 2 12 11 1 7
SterlingIce 6 2 2 2 14 15 -1 6
Slipouri 6 3 0 3 6 9 -3 6
Plinkaville 6 2 2 2 10 16 -6 6
Trevorland 6 1 3 2 9 10 -1 5
Jaurania 6 0 2 4 8 13 -5 2[/code:1:27c438d60e]

[b]Joesph Pepin Dartboard Giveaway Night proves successful[b]

Handing out of 10,000 dartboards leads to 3-1 win over Slipouri

Fabrice Pilon, Andronicus Maynard and Doug Chang each scored a goal as the Paladins stormed thier way over Slipouri 3-1 last night.

The victory, the best showing by the Paladins so far in the Cherry Cup, coincided with a giveaway of dartboards bearing the ugly mug of worthless soccer goalie Joesph Pepin, who caused much greif for the Paladins in WCX as well as in last night's Empress Cup game.

In addition to that, some prankster went and put photos of Pepin in every urinal in the stadium. Police announced full backing for whoever did it.

Pilon turned out a beautiful performance that his stats for the evening, 1 goal, 1 assist and a +3 rating, do not show fully. He sparked rallys, getting the puck into Slipouri territory and keeping it there for long periods of time, and did a beautiful body check on a Slipouri foward that made the poor player leave the game for a bit.

Goaltender Brodeur earned his keep tonight, stopping 26 of 27 shots on goal by a strong Slipouri offense. When Slipouri got off 12 shots in 4 minutes (compared to the Paladins 4 shots in that time span), he stopped all of them cold.

4-0 and 3-3 Draw Make Things Better For Wraner Brothers

Well Warner brothers isn't in last place anymore after a spectaular shutout and then a 3 all draw, people in warner brothers are celebrating the win and the draw. [i] this is a great day for ice hockey in warner brothers[/b] said one avid supporter of the loony tunes. However this doesnt stop the national coach being fired when he gets home, high expections were hoped for in this Cup and he simply hasnt performed well enough to keep the honors

OOC: Sorry busy day - no more time to write this ICly, but had to post it. We finally wone one?!? :shock:

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

[b]The Moose Perfect Record Endsb]
-Frederik Johansson

KAZE PROGRESSA - The Moose failed to match the achievements of our brethren in faith, Quinntonia, of going 6-0-0 on the tournament, after skating to a hard-fought 2-2 tie with top seeded Soviet Haaregrad.

Moose goals were scored by Ljundberg and Daniel Larsson, who scored from the point on the powerplay. The tie leaves the Moose with a 5-1-0 record, good for 11 points. The Saints lead the conference with 13, while Warnocks Wizards closely trails with 10. The next closest competitor is Iansisle, with 7 points.

The final game for the Moose comes against the high-powered offence of Sliponia. While having scored 14 goals so far in the season, they have allowed a total of 13. The Moose will look to take advantage of their defensive prowess, and hope for the odd goal here and there to finish the season on top of the division, getting some momentum for the playoffs in what looks to be a matchup with division rivals Warnocks Wizards (in fact, it looks as though it is almost guarenteed).

Eep. I completely miss almost all of the first round due to finals week and it looks like the boys are struggling. 4th place in a very tight race with only one game to go. It's certainly a must win for SI!

SI

The Absymals are in a pub (did you already guess that?) and talk about the match. No one is sober anymore and they talk about the last and the next match.

Sal: Finally we lost a match!
Gi: We are the last ones!
Axux: We are not the last ones, this slani Drkness forever are behind us.
Kora: Yeah, and Tanah Burung!
Gi: Anyhow, We lose our last match like this one and hope that Darkness Forever and Tanah Burung win.
Kora: Our last match IS against Tanah Burung
Axux: Great than we can even influence that.
Kora: Yeah, just play like we did against ...who did we play against today?
Gi: The Esten Lands.
Kora: That's the way we do it. An offense that only scores flukes and a defense that doesn't defend at all!
Everyone: YEAH! TO THE LAST PLACE!

(I'd just like to apologize for my recent silence on this thread...several things, along with more pressing commitments in other threads, have detracted from my ability to post of late, and I am sorry about that. I'll try and get back into this as soon as possible. So yeah, go Gulls! ;))

NEW OFFICIAL TABLES:

[code:1:d37a7a81cd]GRETSKY DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Quinntonia 6 6 0 0 15 4 11 12
The Esten Lands 6 3 1 2 8 5 3 7
Timway 6 3 1 2 9 7 2 7
Iansisle 6 3 1 2 8 9 -1 7
Zinkoland 6 1 4 1 9 9 0 6
Rejistania 6 1 1 4 7 10 -3 3
Darkness Forever 6 1 1 4 4 10 -6 3
Tanah Burung 6 1 1 4 4 10 -6 3

TRETIAK DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Tranquillitis 6 5 1 0 15 8 7 11
Warnocks Wizards 6 5 0 1 20 11 9 10
Polkaton 6 2 2 2 9 8 1 6
Sliponia 6 2 1 3 14 13 1 5
Soviet Haaregrad 6 2 1 3 11 11 0 5
Kryozerkia 6 2 1 3 11 12 -1 5
Warner Brothers 6 1 1 4 12 20 -8 3
The Nessaful Lands 6 1 1 4 5 14 -9 3

WICKENHEISER DIV. P W D L F A GD Pts
Quebec Nouveau 6 4 1 1 15 9 6 9
Kaze Progressa 6 3 2 1 14 10 4 8
Walmington-on-Sea 6 3 1 2 13 10 3 7
Liverpool England 6 3 0 3 8 6 2 6
Scaraba 6 3 0 3 9 10 -1 6
Uniginia II 6 2 1 3 8 11 -3 5
Daistallia 6 1 2 3 8 12 -4 4
Hillbilly Warriors 6 1 1 4 9 16 -7 3

LEMIEUX DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov 6 4 1 1 20 10 10 9
Kalaalit Nunaat 6 2 3 1 20 16 4 7
New Montreal States 6 3 1 2 12 11 1 7
SterlingIce 6 2 2 2 14 15 -1 6
Slipouri 6 3 0 3 6 9 -3 6
Plinkaville 6 2 2 2 11 16 -5 6
Trevorland 6 1 3 2 9 10 -1 5
Jaurania 6 0 2 4 8 13 -5 2

[/code:1:d37a7a81cd]

Edit: In the Cherry Conference, Quinntonia, Warnocks Wizards and Tranquilitis are definitely through; Rejistania, Tanah Burung, Darkness Forever, Warner Brothers and The Nessaful Lands are definitely out.
In the McLean Conference, Dennisov and Quebec Nouveau are definitely through; Daistallia, Jaurania and Hillbilly Warriors are definitely out.

From the Sherbrooke Sentinel December 21 2003

Sherbrooke Skating Slips, Falls 2 Games

For the past two games, the Annihilators have not played as well as they showed promise for in the preceeding 4 games. The 2-2 tie against Kaze Progressa, while not technically a loss, weighed on the team. Watching his sullen faced Quebecois go to the locker room, Coach Rivet just chuckeld and said, "Well, what more is there to say? Kaze Progressa was a morth than worthy team, and we didn't have what it took to beat them. It's a tie, not a loss, so I do not think that we should play it as such."

The Standard Erratic Bears hang on in style

After making things difficult for themselves in the first half of the initial group stage, the Walmington Red Bears are hitting back as hard as any amature side could be expected to.

After upsetting a skillful Kaze Progressa with a narrow and hard fought win last week, the aggressive Reds changed pace against the less proven Hillybilly Warriors.

Captain Ernie Mellington marshaled the side effectively throughout, passing well and managing to commit relatively few offences.

Ralph Smye-Finnlesburgh played well in a rare start for the winger, but provided an early highlight of sorts, apparently breaking his leg in charge ended by the Hillbilly goal frame.

Smye-Finnlesburgh's loss was quickly compensated by the first goal of what was to become yet another Whiteside brace.

The youngsters goals were separated by one from Ingle, and directly followed by the Warriors' only effective strike of the game.

The last period saw a confident and secure Walmington side settle into a surprisingly good passing game, with Major Richard Brent and sub George Yeboba giving the Red Bears a much needed goal-difference boost.

If Walmington can keep up this momentum for but one more game they just might achieve something worth celebrating.

Those all-important results for day seven:

CHERRY CONFERENCE
GRETSKY DIVISION
Darkness Forever 2 - 4 Zinkoland
Iansisle 2 - 0 Timway
Quinntonia 3 - 1 The Esten Lands
Rejistania 1 - 0 Tanah Burung

TRETIAK DIVISION
Kryozerkia 5 - 1 Warnocks Wizards
Polkaton 3 - 2 Warner Brothers
Sliponia 0 - 5 Tranquilitis
Soviet Haaregrad 3 - 1 The Nessaful Lands

McLEAN CONFERENCE

WICKENHEISER DIVISION

Daistallia 2 - 2 Walmington-on-Sea
Uniginia II 2 - 0 Hillbilly Warriors
Kaze Progressa 1 - 0 Scaraba
Liverpool England 2 - 5 Quebec Nouveau

LEMIEUX DIVISION
Dennisov 0 - 1 Trevorland
SterlingIce 3 - 2 Jaurania
Kalaalit Nunaat 2 - 1 Slipouri
New Montreal States 2 - 2 Plinkaville

Those nerve-wracking tables:

[code:1:9f29376a40]GRETSKY DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Quinntonia 7 7 0 0 18 5 13 14
Iansisle 7 4 1 2 10 9 1 9
Zinkoland 7 2 4 1 13 11 2 8
The Esten Lands 7 3 1 3 9 8 1 7
Timway 7 3 1 3 9 9 0 7
Rejistania 7 2 1 4 8 10 -2 5
Tanah Burung 7 1 1 5 4 11 -7 3
Darkness Forever 7 1 1 5 6 14 -8 3

TRETIAK DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Tranquillitis 7 6 1 0 20 8 12 13
Warnocks Wizards 7 5 0 2 21 16 5 10
Polkaton 7 3 2 2 12 10 2 8
Kryozerkia 7 3 1 3 16 13 3 7
Soviet Haaregrad 7 3 1 3 14 12 2 7
Sliponia 7 2 1 4 14 18 -4 5
Warner Brothers 7 1 1 5 14 23 -9 3
The Nessaful Lands 7 1 1 5 6 17 -11 3

WICKENHEISER DIV. P W D L F A GD Pts
Quebec Nouveau 7 5 1 1 20 11 9 11
Kaze Progressa 7 4 2 1 15 10 5 10
Walmington-on-Sea 7 3 2 2 15 12 3 8
Uniginia II 7 3 1 3 10 11 -1 7
Liverpool England 7 3 0 4 10 11 -1 6
Scaraba 7 3 0 4 9 11 -2 6
Daistallia 7 1 3 3 10 14 -4 5
Hillbilly Warriors 7 1 1 5 9 18 -9 3

LEMIEUX DIVISION P W D L F A GD Pts
Dennisov 7 4 1 2 20 11 9 9
Kalaalit Nunaat 7 3 3 1 22 17 5 9
New Montreal States 7 3 2 2 14 13 1 8
SterlingIce 7 3 2 2 17 17 0 8
Trevorland 7 2 3 2 10 10 0 7
Plinkaville 7 2 3 2 13 18 -5 7
Slipouri 7 3 0 4 7 11 -4 6
Jaurania 7 0 2 5 10 16 -6 2

CHERRY CONFERENCE P W D L F A GD Pts
1 Quinntonia 7 7 0 0 18 5 13 14
2 Tranquillitis 7 6 1 0 20 8 12 13
3 Warnocks Wizards 7 5 0 2 21 16 5 10
4 Iansisle 7 4 1 2 10 9 1 9
5 Zinkoland 7 2 4 1 13 11 2 8
6 Polkaton 7 3 2 2 12 10 2 8
7 Kryozerkia 7 3 1 3 16 13 3 7
8 Soviet Haaregrad 7 3 1 3 14 12 2 7
9 The Esten Lands 7 3 1 3 9 8 1 7
10 Timway 7 3 1 3 9 9 0 7
11 Rejistania 7 2 1 4 8 10 -2 5
12 Sliponia 7 2 1 4 14 18 -4 5
13 Tanah Burung 7 1 1 5 4 11 -7 3
14 Darkness Forever 7 1 1 5 6 14 -8 3
15 Warner Brothers 7 1 1 5 14 23 -9 3
16 The Nessaful Lands 7 1 1 5 6 17 -11 3

McLEAN CONFERENCE P W D L F A GD Pts
1 Quebec Nouveau 7 5 1 1 20 11 9 11
2 Kaze Progressa 7 4 2 1 15 10 5 10
3 Dennisov 7 4 1 2 20 11 9 9
4 Kalaalit Nunaat 7 3 3 1 22 17 5 9
5 Walmington-on-Sea 7 3 2 2 15 12 3 8
6 New Montreal States 7 3 2 2 14 13 1 8
7 SterlingIce 7 3 2 2 17 17 0 8
8 Trevorland 7 2 3 2 10 10 0 7
9 Uniginia II 7 3 1 3 10 11 -1 7
10 Plinkaville 7 2 3 2 13 18 -5 7
11 Liverpool England 7 3 0 4 10 11 -1 6
12 Scaraba 7 3 0 4 9 11 -2 6
13 Slipouri 7 3 0 4 7 11 -4 6
14 Daistallia 7 1 3 3 10 14 -4 5
15 Hillbilly Warriors 7 1 1 5 9 18 -9 3
16 Jaurania 7 0 2 5 10 16 -6 2[/code:1:9f29376a40]

The route to the playoffs (will show it in a pretty picture or canny code eventually):

CHERRY CONFERENCE playoffs will be held in the western side of Kaze Progressa:

QF1. Quinntonia v Soviet Haaregrad (Pageas)
QF2. Tranquillitis v Kryozerkia (Yuzisan)
QF3. Warnocks Wizards v Polkaton (Minita)
QF4. Iansisle v Zinkoland (Paninara)

SF1. Winner QF1 v Winner QF4 (Storavora)
SF2. Winner QF2 v Winner QF3 (Nortenai)

CONFERENCE FINAL (Farela)

McLEAN CONFERENCE playoffs will be held in the eastern side of the country:

QF1. Quebec Nouveau v Trevorland (Maunlik)
QF2. Kaze Progressa v SterlingIce (Daurama)
QF3. Dennisov v New Montreal States (Ugiata)
QF4. Kalaalit Nunaat v Walmington-on-Sea (Mugota)

SF1. Winner QF1 v Winner QF4 (Taqizerr)
SF2. Winner QF2 v Winner QF3 (Quarua)

CONFERENCE FINAL (Kaza)

CHERRY CUP FINAL - best of three: first leg Farela, second (and third, if necessary) leg Kaza.

The Rejistanian TV channel TV-R broadcasts the first report of a rejistanian ice-hockey match

Idine Sala: Welcome back to Sports today. Here it comes, the 'match of the day'. The ice hockey match Rejistania against Tanah Burung. I guess none of you even knew that the Orange-Blues have an ice-hockey team, but as you see, the team exists. The Rejistanians are also knows as 'the Abysmals' and untill now, they played like that.
*images of the match appear, aat first, you see both teams get on the ice.*
Sala: (via voiceover) The Abysmals are known for their devotion to Alcohol, you can see perhaps that they are not that sober anymore. The Cassowaries prefer marijuana.
*the match has started, players shout something*
Sala: Here, the teams argued, which team is worse. This led to an interesting match.
*images of the match are shown, it looks like a normal match, does it?*
Sala: Tanah Burung tried to archieve an own-goal, but a Rejistanian hindered him and now tries to hit the own net himself. But the Tanah Burungians don't let him. This was not one short moment, it was like this the whole match. The referee explained both sides where their goal is, but they did it intensionally and not because they messed up directions.
*A Tanah Burungian player finally archieves the own goal, the goalie dodges out of the way*
Sala: Finally Tanah Burung was victious in this strange match: They archieved an own goal. The Rejistanians may be ahead one goal, but they surely didn't like it. They tried to attack their own goal furously... well as furious as you can get with that much blood alcohol but they didn't have a chance. They won 1-0, but for them it's merely losing.
*Sala appears again, she smiles*
Sala: That was our match of the day. Good night!

The Standard Vive Quebec!

Norbray held her breath as the Red Bears 2-1 lead was unexpectedly killed at the last moment by lowly Daistallia. For a time the county, indeed the nation feared that the Bears had thrown away qualification as it lay within touching distance. Finally Walmingtonians exhaled in unison as wireless sets across the kingdom finished, "..Quebec Nouveau five" and were drowned out by joyous Norbray expletives and rousing hurrahs all around.

Liverpool England's defeat and Walmington's unimpressive draw combined to push the Red Bears onwards towards a tough Greenlandic side. If the Red Bears are victorious (and they almost certainly won't be) they have every chance of facing the Quebecois in the semi finals.

Few expect Mellington et al to remember the favour granted them by Quebec's victory (although one pundit pointed out that, "actually, we'd need to have been proper thumped by Daistallia for us to have gone out at all, if you think about it..")

Full steam ahead! Hurrah for Walmingtonian amature hockey!

Yet another game with huge implications between SterlingIce and Kaze Progressa.

SI

OOC: That is one of the funniest RPs I've ever seen.

IC from the Kangaroo:

SCARABA SUFFER SHUTOUT KNOCKOUT; STERLINGICE ARE NEXT

Kaze Progressa's ice hockey side emulated their football counterparts by securing their further progress with a narrow defeat of Scaraba, this time 1-0 in the Kaza Ice Arena.

The match was dominated by the goaltenders, with Fayu Nunkaznal playing as if even the proverbial kitchen sink wouldn't beat him. The Scaraban goaltender was much the same throughout period one, before an evil crosscheck on Kiwlo Kamikli set up a penalty shot which grazed his pad on the way into the net.

Buk Buzzin and Remilik Jurrza stopped almost every attack along the left, and attempts to switch right where Nulio Maujes was somewhat weaker in the second defensive line were ruined by the fact Nunkaznal is at his strongest facing shots from that direction. Several spectacular stops from such a move in period three secured the victory against a side who would have made the playoffs had this result been reversed. For the Progressans, the reward was meant to be an easier playoff game, but it turns out that they have earned anything but: SterlingIce, who infamously defeated them 5-0 in the last Cup, are their opponents, after they could only defeat former Progressan colony Jaurania (the only winless side in the competition) 3-2. A bigger winning margin would have seen them move up to sixth in the conference and handed the Progressans an easier draw against flying newcomers New Montreal States.

Gulls miss out on the playoffs again!

Rage was the only constant on faces across the Commonwealth as the Iansisle Gulls once again failed to qualify for the Cherry Cup playoffs. On some faces, sorrow, confusion, stupidity, and hopeless delusion were also prominant, but one thing was certain: fans wanted the managment’s blood.

Steve Martinsons attempted to explain that the Gulls really had made the playoffs, and that this was all a simple misunderstanding, but that delay caused him to fall about six yards short of the team’s aeroflyer, which promptly took off without him. The tar had just been brought to a boil and the feathers were all ready when news came in that Iansisle really had beaten Timway 2-0 behind a Naumov shutout and goals from St. Jacques and Woolf, and qualified with a 4th seed.

Martinson was quickly released and hailed as a demi-god. While it was certainly good news for the future of Iansislean hockey, it was rather worse for one Mr. Herbert Langston, a tax collector, who discovered that (in the words of Jerry Jameson) “there’s no reason to let good boiled tar go to waste.”

Warner Brothers Loony Tunes Go Home With Fond Memories

The Loony Tunes took the last flight home tonight and give their thanks to Kaze Progressa for hosting them in their fine nation, the loony tunes left on a loss but will remember that they did have a least one win and one shutout more then what they could of hoped for although warner brothers coach is now out of a job and will go back to his Information Technology job with Warner IT. The loony tunes will however return to the next cherry cup and try again

From the Sherbrooke Sentinel December 23 2003

Division Champs! Quebec Nouveau Rallies in 3rd Period!

Quebec Nouveau played hard and fast last night against the dreaded Liverpool Engliand team to defeat them 5-2, securing themselves Fisrt Place in the Wickenheiser Division.
Of Sherbrooke's 5 goals of the night, three came in the third period alone, after Liverpool had led them 2 goals to 1 in the first period, and first hafl of the second. As a sweaty, triumphant team shook hands and congratulated the Liverpool team across the ice, Coach Rivet himself put on his skates and skated out to join them. With the slight possibility of tears in his eyes, Coach Rivet could only laugh and hug his team. "We're not saying this is it, but this is a big night for us, not us but all of Quebec Nouveau, you know? Truthfully, we're happy just to be back for the second year. I think it means everybit as much to the men just to be playing le jouet as it does to have won. We have high hopes for le Grande Coup, but its like nobody wants to say it out loud, like a dream made out of ice. If you speak it too loud, it will shatter, yes?"

WE MADE IT!

Barely, but nobody found to be complaining

Although a very lackluster performance occured against Plinkaville, the draw was enough to ensure the Paladins their first ever playoff spot in any international competition.

After the brutal mangling of the Paladins in WCX and then in the Empress Cup, this was sorely needed to restore faith in New Montreal States as a whole (as well as to keep some jobs over at the Ice Paladin Association, the national bureau of sports).

Granted, we have a very hard road ahead of us, starting with Dennisov, who has creamed the Paladins at every sport known to mankind. They knocked our teeth in at soccer (twice) and then knocked our teeth out at Hockey. But the PLAYOFFS! Who CARES about the odds?

And speaking of odds, Rome Casinos Inc. has released the line for tonight's game against Dennisov:

Dennisov.....3.....New Montreal States

(meaning the spread is 3 goals in favor of Dennisov, matching nicely with the result of our earlier match)

And this paper would like to offer predictions of the score from each of our sports columnists and reporters:

Maynard Munson (editor) - Dennisov 4 NMS 2
Robert Pilon (head reporter) - Dennisov 3 NMS 0
Richard Filbert (columnist) - Dennisov 5 NMS 1
Pierre Legault (columnist) - Dennisov 3 NMS 2
Hans Pritcher (reporter) - Dennisov 5 NMS 2
Wolfgang Schindler (reporter) - Dennisov 3 NMS 1
Bobby Clerckson (reporter) - Dennisov 3 NMS 2
Judy Johnson (reporter) - Dennisov 1 NMS 0
Angie Maurice (reporter) - Dennisov 5 NMS 1

And those are the predictions of the New Montreal Daily Optimist-Bugle Sports Staff. On behalf of all of us, we wish the best of luck to the Paladins.

(tomorrow's edition will focus only on the game since as you are reading this we are flying to Kaze Progressa to watch the game ourselves)

The Cassowaries ended their spectacular three-point run at the third Cherry Cup, managing to pip Rejistania for "more abysmal" honours in a game that had been dubbed the Awful Bowl. With both teams demanding boasting rights for worst hockey team, the stakes were high. Or, really, low.

The Cassowaries had been trying to score goals between tokes in each previous game, but managed to win only against Iansisle thanks to a freak ricochet. Against Rejistania, they wanted to win by losing. But the Abysmal defencemen, clustering arounf the Tanah Burung net, played one of their better games and kept the Cassowaries to just one goal on themselves -- which given the mutual aim, to lose in style, really meant one goal on the Abysmals.

Confused yet? Suffice to say, the Cassowaries ended their third dismal outing on a low note, which was really a high note. In fact, given what they were smoking, a very high note indeed.

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Moose Crush Sliponia on Way to Playoffs
-Frederik Johansson

Yuzisan, Kaze Progressa - A 5-0 victory by the Moose in the final game of the season sent out a warning to the rest of the Cherry Conference.

Kristian Dackell had a hat-trick, while Matthew Salo and defenceman Mikael Stahl chimed in with the other two goals, as the Moose go into the playoffs of the third installment of the Cherry Cup much the same way they entered last year: with a 5-0 victory, last time over Quinntonia.

"I'm glad that we made such a positive showing in the final game of the season," Moose coach Johan Hedberg said. "After a series of lucky wins, we came out flying and really made a statement. Now we just have to continue that momentum into the playoffs."

The Moose will take on Kryozerkia, a divisional rival, whom the Moose needed overtime to defeat in the regular season. The game will be played in Yuzisan. All in all, 5 teams from the Tretiak Division qualified, saying something about the quality of that division. The Moose also enter the playoffs as one of only two undefeated teams, the other being the Saints of Quinntonia. The game with Kryozerkia will be broadcast live on TTV1.

:D

From Trevorland Tonight:

To describe the scene on Ouellette Ave., the main street of Windsor, the capital of Trevorland as pandemonium, would be an understatement. The win in the final game of the round robin was reason enough to celebrate, but to find out that Trevorland is in the playoffs based on goal differential (1 bloody goal) sent the riot patrol into full gear, as people started to cry and throw things at each other in celebration.

Quoted one police officer, "The last time we saw this kind of madness was when Trevorland came to be, after its nasty split from Trevcait."

Bob Roberts had the winning tally for the Porcupines. He had this to say. "Our lack of goal scoring had been well-documented, but this is vindication. I remember the Prime Minister criticizing our goal scoring earlier in the tournament. Well he can go to hell."

The first round sees the defensively prowessed Procupines go up against Quebec Nouveau, a high scoring machine. Jim James, the now famous goalie for Trevorland will definitely have a test on his hands, but 10 goals given up in 7 games, some games against some of the highest ranked teams in NS, goes to show that this won't be a walkover as many a 1-8 matchup has been.

In recognition of Mr. James and Mr. Roberts' efforts, it has been resolved that the second day after the end of the tournament, a national day of celebration will be held, the above mentioned gentlemen will have statues unveiled of them, for all children to marvel at.

More on the first round game in the coming days.

OOC- I apolagise for being so silent on the thread, though it looks like this was the best way to do it.
IC-The Quinntonian Saints stand astride the NHL like a collosus. They performed better than they ever thought possible. Finishing in first place overall with an undefeated record for the qualifying season.
The team management and its Captain, top scorer Bill Espisitoe, hosted a press conferance where they thanked all their opponents and praised God for delivering them to this place. They pointed out that their success is not made of muscle and suinew, but instead of faith and prayer. Glory be to the Father who made the Heavens and Earth and allowed them such a glorious season.
During the press conference the Prime Minister, Jesse son of Obed made a surprise appearance and announced that the day of the opening game in the playoffs will be a national holiday and that they government will pay all salaries lost because of the holiday. Also, the playoffs will be shown on every TV set in the nation, free of charge. He also asked that the people of Quinntonian use this opprotunity to use this day for prayer and fasting for the graeter glory of God. he is personally flying in to watch the game in his plane, The Jesus-1.
WWJD
Amen.

Conference quarter-finals results will be posted at around 4pm forum time (8pm GMT, 3pm ET).

Big Bobby Clobber hung his head as he entered the president's office. He had been remiss in reporting day-to-day results [also known as: too much work the past week to log in], and the Greenlanders had not performed up to expectations.

"We are in the playoffs, President Aglukark," he said. "We shared the division lead with Dennisov."

"Shared the division lead? Shared it?" Susan Aglukark spat back. "So where did we place in the conference?"

"Fourth place, maam."

"Fourth? Fourth? We invented this competition, how can we have fallen so low?"

"Other teams have improved their hockey skills. Some of the Canadian teams are especially improved."

"Really?" She turns to an aide and says: "Prepare plans to invade Quebec."

"The quarter-finals may be kind to us, at least. We play Walmington-on-Sea."

"What-on-where?"

"Walmington-on-Sea. They appear to be some sort of privately-owned playground country set in a shining sea. And still fighting the Second World War."

"Then use our bigger size and toughness, Big Bobby. We're going to win this one. Losing? I will have Nunavut."

The results you've been waiting for...

(I didn't ask for a third party to generate KP v SI. You'll see why when you see the result I generated in the first place. No suspicions here folks. Police, you can go and arrest some of those big defencemen for assault.)

Quebec Nouveau 2 - 0 Trevorland
Kaze Progressa 2 - 6 SterlingIce
Dennisov 3 - 2 New Montreal States (after two OT periods)
Kalaalit Nunaat 3 - 2 Walmington-on-Sea (after OT)

Kryozerkia 2 - 1 Warnocks Wizards
Polkaton 3 - 0 Warner Brothers
Sliponia 0 - 1 Tranquilitis
Soviet Haaregrad 4 - 1 The Nessaful Lands

QF2. Tranquillitis v Kryozerkia (Yuzisan)



Sliponia 0 - 1 Tranquilitis


Think you messed up here, buddy. Sliponia finished 12th in the conference. Actually, all of the Cherry Conference results are messed up.

He's right, the McLean Conf. finals match up, but not the Cherry conf. finals. All the same, you had better think the Quebecois people are happy tonight!

HEARTBREAKER

Double OT loss to Dennisov causes odd demonstration on street

After a heartbreaking double OT loss to Dennisov, 3-2, Paladin fans everywhere took to the streets, but instead of rioting as some feared they just "stood there" according to one cop.

"It was kind of like a funeral wake," said another cop. "They stood there, drank beer, talked quietly to each other and were fairly subdued."

Extremely subdued, in fact; no arrests were reported by New Montreal Police in the 3 hours after the game ended.

Dennisov seized an early lead, scoring once in the first period and once in the second while shutting down the typically lackluster Paladin offense with a minimum of effort.

Things seemed to change for the better in the 3rd period as Fabrice Austin scored only 75 seconds after the opening face-off. The Paladins controlled the puck and the tempo of the game throughout the period, but the score remained at 2-1 until the very end. With 20 seconds left a desperation shot by Andronicus Maynard went off the crossbar, off the Dennisov goalie's back and into the goal to tie things up.

The first overtime was a fierce and brutal battle, at times ressembling a WWF competition more than a hockey game. Despite a plethora of power plays (including one 3-on-3 stretch midway through) both goaltenders were on top of their games and kept the puck out.

The second overtime was much like the first, but a strong Dennisov side kept the Paladins on their side of the ice. The Paladins fought back but only managed 5 shots in the overtime as opposed to Dennisov's 12. Finally the inevitable occured and Dennisov put one in, ending the game and the first ever Paladins Cherry Cup season.

From the Sherbrooke Sentinel December 23 2004

A's Have A Holly Jolly Game Over Trevorland

Quebec Nouveau's much publicised team, the Sherbrooke Annihilators, defeated Trevorland last night, 2-0 in the Don Cherry Cup Semifinals match. But, Coach Rivet is not celebrating yet. "We still have very far to go. All of this is not over, by any shot. We still have at least 3 more games to go before we can safely breathe easier. We have coming up to face Kalaallit Nunaat, who shut us out last time, 4-0, so let nobody say that this will be an easy game for us, yes? Sure, we are very nervous, but we're going to go out there and give that game and every game we play all we've got. We are Quebec Nouveau's best and brightest, and we want everyone to know it. Le Quebecois v'a la guerre!"

With a collective holding of thebreath, every Gulls fan in the Commonwealth flipped open the Star-Tribune is search of Iansisle's game against Zinkoland, and found...nothing.

There was a nice little article about how the football Ians had qualified for the SuperCup, another about the Red Bears near win in the first playoff game, but nothing about Iansisle or Zinkoland.

"Game must be on tomorrow," shrugged one confused fan.

Ah, I figured it out. For the Cherry Conference, he redid the Tretiak Division's Day 7 schedule in place of the playoffs. Easy enough mistake to make, I did that for a couple matches in the Supercup. The difference being I was smart enough to catch it ;) (haha, joking KP)

Well spotted Nikea. What I did was put the Cherry Conference playoffs where the Wickenheiser Division was to avoid losing the rankings, but then copied the top two sets of results - the wrong two.

And the Cherry Conference results - these ones being the REAL ones - are as follows:

Quinntonia 2 - 3 Soviet Haaregrad
Tranquilitis 3 - 0 Kryozerkia
Warnocks Wizards 4 - 1 Polkaton
Iansisle 1 - 2 Zinkoland

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Moose Cruise Into Second Round
-Frederik Johansson

Yuzisan, Kaze Progressa - The Moose learned their lesson from the overtime victory in the regular season against Kryozerkia, defeating them handily 3-0 to move into the Cherry Cup semi-finals.

The Moose netted one goal per period, with Bergstrom, Jokela, and Ljundberg doing the honours. Adam Hölmqvist was never really threatened, as he earned his fourth shutout of the tournament.

"The defence makes the job easier for me," Hölmqvist said. "I just worry about letting as few rebounds out as possible, and the defence is there to clear up any that do get out."

The Moose now move on to face their division rivals Warnocks Wizards. The Moose won the first encounter 5-3, so the Wizards will be looking for revenge this time around.

Already Norbray was making ready to greet its conquered heroes, though the team planned to stay on until the tournament's end. Great Walmington planned to lay on a parade for the Red Bears after the amature side progressed past the group stages in their second international competition ever, only to loose out after a mighty struggle.

Young Regie Whiteside -increasingly sick of being refered to by his age- is tipped for the new years honours list, as is Red Bears captain and coach Ernie Mellington. The entire squad are expected to receive a joint award before many of them ship off to fight the 8th Panzer Division in Libya.

Walmington prays that they shall return home with an extra time winner of their own, and wishes luck to the surviving Cherry Cup competators.

Conference semi-final results are coming tomorrow - early tomorrow, in fact. Probably before 9am GMT (5am forum time).

CONFERENCE SEMI-FINALS

Quebec Nouveau 1 - 5 Kalaalit Nunaat
SterlingIce 3 - 2 Dennisov

Soviet Haaregrad 1 - 2 Zinkoland (after two OT periods)
Tranquilitis 5 - 2 Warnocks Wizards

"That's right, go Greenland! Hurrah the red and white iceberg! If they win, we can argue (down the pub at least) that the Red Bears were capable of coming second!"

-Morgan Alty, intoxicated Wychwood Automation low level employee.

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Moose Bound For Conference Finals for Second Straight Year
-Frederik Johansson

Nortenai, Kaze Progressa - The Moose once again dominated their playoff matchup, defeating Warnocks Wizards 5-2 on the way to the Cherry Conference Finals in Farela.

Moose goals came from Ljundberg, Östberg, Steen, Larsson, and Eriksson in the win. Goaltender Adam Hölmqvist recovered after a shaky first half of the game, playing brilliantly in the second half of the 2nd period, and the 3rd period. The Moose took a 3-2 lead going into the third, and Larsson and Eriksson put the game away.

The Moose will take on a surprising team from Zinkoland. They needed Double Overtime to put away defending champions Soviet Haaregrad 2-1, but the task won't get any easier for them when they play a determined Moose team who are so far undefeated in the competition, and have looked overpowering down the stretch.

THE CONFERENCE FINALS

Kalaalit Nunaat 5 - 3 SterlingIce

Zinkoland 0 - 2 Tranquilitis

THE CHERRY CUP FINAL

Tranquilitis v Kalaalit Nunaat

Match 1 in Farela. Matches 2/3 in Kaza.

OOC: I won't be around to witness this epic spectacle of violence, brilliance and possibly literal face-offs.

Someone else will have to generate the results for me - Rejistania, perhaps, if he's up for it AGAIN...

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Moose Reach Finals
-Frederik Johansson

Farela, Kaze Progressa - Gustav Enstahl and Kristopher Jokela scored for the Moose, while Adam Hölmqvist made 24 saves to send the Tranquillitis Moose to the 3rd Annual Cherry Cup Finals.

Their opponents in the Cherry Conference Finals, Zinkoland, had impressed many critics after their defeats of Soviet Haaregrad and the up and coming Iansisle Gulls. However, the Moose were too strong for the opposing team, and their run ended at the Conference Finals.

The Moose will play Kalaalit Nunaat, the original creators of the event. The first leg will be played in Farela, with the 2nd leg, as well as the 3rd if needed, being played in Kaza. The Moose are so far undefeated in the Cherry Cup competition, and look to take a 2 game sweep of the Greenlanders in the Cup Final.

"That's right, go Greenland! Hurrah the red and white iceberg! If they win, we can argue (down the pub at least) that the Red Bears were capable of coming second!"

-Morgan Alty, intoxicated Wychwood Automation low level employee.

Susan Aglukark inclines her head gravely. All Greenland acknowledges the best wishes of the plucky Walmington-on-Sea-dwellers. A dignified nod, from one great country to another.

And then she goes inside. Red and white iceberg! We love it! Three w00ts! In fact, President Aglukark has made the name official.

The Iceberg went on to face Quebec Nouveau, another plucky newcomer in Cherry Cup 2 that has exceeded expectations. Again, we continued our mastery over the Annihilators. Kalaallit Nunaat: Comte, comte, comte, comte, comte! Quebec Nouveau: un seul comte.

The semifinal pitted the Greenlanders against SterlingIce, one of the great powers of hockey. But not as great as Greenland, which has narrowly missed the Cherry Cup on two occasions. The Iceberg prevailed over the Ice, 5-3.

And now plays, once more, for the Cherry Cup. Our opponent: the Tranquillitis Moose. Once a weak sister, now one of the great teams of hockey, and certainly winner of the most-improved award. All Greenland holds its breath: respectful of the Moose, but hoping that at last the Cup will be ours.

Sign up for Cherry Cup 4:
http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2468148#2468148

Can anyone generate the final results? I'd do it myself, but as a participant it's be a bit unfair...

The result from Farela that took forever to come:

Kalaallit Nunaat 3 - 2 Tranquilitis

Second leg in Kaza - can the inventors of the Cherry Cup lift it at last, or will the Moose fight back and send this one to a decider? Results to be posted here at around 4pm forum time Monday subject to outside events.

How's this for a dramatic reversal?

Kalaallit Nunaat 2 - 3 Tranquilitis

They're coming back to Kaza same time tomorrow night for the decider!

If the two nail-biting final games have proved anything, it's that Jack Anawak, captain of the Red and White Iceberg, is one of the top players to come out of the Arctic in decades. Anawak got one goal and one assist in each game and sparked the Greenland offence, as he has throughout the Cherry Cup.

It all comes down to one game. The Greenlanders, in a fmailiar posuiiotn of playing for the Cherry Cup, face a new opponent. Few would have picked Tranquillitis to be their opponent, but that's who'll be on the other side of the ice as the Greenlanders make their third bid to finally loft the trophy. They shoudl be favourites. History suggests that they'll fall short once again, however.

"Never," said President Aglukuark. "Our day is this day."

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Finals Come Down to Deciding Game
-Frederik Johansson

Kaza, Kaze Progressa - After two games of the three game finals series, each team has managed a tight 3-2 victory over their opponent, sending the series to a final showdown tomorrow night.

The first game saw Moose goaltender Adam Hölmqvist show some nerves in the first period, allowing 2 goals on only 5 Greenlander shots in the opening frame. After Ljundberg and Eriksson scored to draw level, the Greenlanders captain, Jack Anawak, notched a tally with 10 minutes remaining in the third to seal a 3-2 win for Kalaallit Nunaat.

The second game proved to be just as exciting as the first. Both goaltenders played spectacularly. Once again at 2-2 in the final frame, Kristopher Jokela scored on a one-timed shot from the top of the circle with only 4:53 remaining in the game to keep the Moose alive.

Kalaallit Nunaat have been calling the Moose the underdogs in this final series. Moose coach Markus Wilhelmsson has said these comments have helped inspire his team. "The Kalaallit Nunaat press has said on more than one occasion that few would have picked us to be in the final, despite our top 3 ranking in the world, and appearance in the last Cup's conference finals. The players take this as inspiration to prove their critics wrong, and prove that they do belong in the position they are in. They are quite confident, seeing as though we had not lost a game until Game 1 of the Finals."

Game 3 goes tomorrow night in Kaza. The match will be shown live on TTV1.

The result you've been waiting for:

KALALLIT NUNAAT 1 TRANQUILLITIS 2

Congratulations Tranquillitis, Cherry Cup 3 champions!

When will sign ups for Cherry Cup 4 begin?

(Reminder to myself to post something here later this evening. I've been a bit busy lately, sorry.

Sliponia, they've already begun. http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=109018&highlight=

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Moose Capture Cherry Cup
-Frederik Johansson

Kaza, Kaze Progressa - Following the first Cherry Cup competition, many would have singled out the Tranquillitis Moose as being a low-grade team, outclassed by other hockey nations. Those predictions were correct for the first 3 games of the second Cherry Cup, as the Moose seemed inconsistent. A 4-2 defeat of Soviet Haaregrad turned the team around.

"That game was the turning point for us," Moose coach Markus Wilhelmsson told the Nyheter a few hours before yesterday's final game of the three game final series. "After that game, everyone in the room believed that we could beat any team out there."

The Moose went on to crush Quinntonia 5-0 in the next game, earning a spot in the Conference Semi-Finals on goal differential. After a 3-2 overtime victory over Dennisov in the Semis, the Moose had many people talking.

"We went into the conference finals thinking that we'd done better than anyone had expected," Wilhelmsson said. "Even though we lost to Soviet Haaregrad in the conference finals, we still felt confident in our ability to compete with the world's elite."

So when Cherry Cup 3 began, the Moose were ranked as the third best team in the world. Despite being in a division with Soviet Haaregrad, the number 1 team in the world, the Moose dispatched all the division had to offer, their only blemish a 2-2 tie with Haaregrad, who didn't play up to their ranking. The Moose easily qualified for the playoff round, although were seeded second behind Quinntonia, who won all of their games.

The Moose had a relatively easy time in the playoff round. The Saints were defeated early, and Haaregrad lost in the semi-finals, leaving the Moose, who defeated Kryozerkia and Warnocks Wizards, a matchup with a surprising team from Zinkoland. Gustav Enstahl and Kristopher Jokela ended the Zinkoland run, with help from Adam Hölmqvist in the Moose net. The Moose would face off against the Cherry Cup inventors, Kalaallit Nunaat, in a best of three final to determine the third Cherry Cup champion.

Game 1 saw the Moose drop their first game of the tournament, a 3-2 decision. The Moose clawed back from 2-0 down to tie it 2-2, but a mid-3rd period goal by Greenlanders captain Jack Anawak sealed the victory for the Greenlanders. The result was reversed in game two, when Kristopher Jokela's late game goal broke that game's 2-2 tie, giving the Moose victory.

Game 3 of the series started out tight, and defensive. Both teams employed a dump-and-chase strategy that the opposing defenders easily and skillfully broke up. The shots were only 5-4 in favour of the Greenlanders after the first period, with neither goaltender having anything difficult to turn aside.

Period 2 was a lot more open, but still very defensive. The Moose broke the scoreless deadlock on the powerplay, when captain Fredrik Ljundberg quickly fired a shot into an open cage, after the Greenlander goalie was drawn out of position by defenceman Mikael Stahl. The Moose got a second one a few minutes later, when Stahl's slapshot from the point went untouched through a heavy screen, past the Greenlander goalie. 2-0.

The Moose played the third period very defensively. They sat back and let the Greenlanders bring the pressure, which led to many anxious moments for Moose fans. This strategy led to a Greenlander goal, as Jack Anawak's shot from the top of the circle beat Hölmqvist cleanly over his right shoulder. It was 2-1 with 6 minutes remaining.

The Greenlander pressure increased following the goal. The Moose were lucky on many occasions to clear the puck from the zone, allowing increasingly tired players to come on the ice for a minute and keep the puck away from Hölmqvist. Shots were blocked, passes deflected, until the Greenlanders pulled the goalie for an extra attacker with just over a minute remaining. Hölmqvist had to be at his best, making two excellent saves and covering the puck at every moment to relieve the pressure.

With 14 seconds remaining, a Greenlander winger was left wide open in the slot, and the puck came right to his stick. He fired a blistering shot that deflected off the post, into the corner. The *cling* of the post saved the Moose and their championship hopes, as Stahl got the puck in the corner and sent it out of the zone. The Greenlanders were not able to enter the zone again, and the Moose had won their first Cherry Cup.

The next cup will be held in Soviet Haaregrad, and the Moose will look to retain the cup. The roster will have very few changes, if any, as this team knows each other well, and has developed cohesion as a unit. All Moose action in the 4th Cherry Cup can be caught on TTV1, with coverage in the Nyheter following every game.