NationStates Jolt Archive


Evil Villain in search of henchmen, weapons, etc.

15-12-2003, 02:01
An up and coming villain and doer of dastardly deeds is looking for nations to sell him supplies for world conquest.
Looking for:
- Disposable henchmen (with some sort of theme, i.e. "Moroccan fez men")
- Small, automatic rifles with poor accuracy
- Doomsday devices/weapons of mass destruction (or plans)
- Secret base surveillance system
- Elaborate methods of execution
- A self destruct system
- Scientists
- Armed patrol boats/buggies
- Private Jets/submarines/yachts
- Other useful villain type things
After a price is agreed upon, please send goods to the Hidden Volcano Base on my Secret Tropical Island Getaway.
15-12-2003, 02:52
bump, i say
15-12-2003, 09:48
This has the makings of the best storyline ever to hit Nationstates. James Bond action all the way, baybee! Some nations please take interest.
Korden
15-12-2003, 10:21
You interested in some pirates? They make good disposable henchmen, they come with a ship for patrol or transportation, they like Secret Tropical Island Getaways, and best of all, they go around saying things like "Aarrh!" What could be more fun then that?
15-12-2003, 10:24
is this of any help?

http://www.bateshome.com/jordan/nsig.jpg (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=97342)

(Pirate aircraft)
15-12-2003, 10:34
The Armed Republic of Social Extremists wishes to express its interest in dealing with with your organisation.
After the untimely death of my predecessor in a tragic boating accident I have taken upon myself the burden of managing our nation's internal and externl affairs. I am taking a far more open approach and allowing factions within our land to make their own offers. Various organisations have made known to me that their services are available for export, and these services are summarised below.

12 Light Gunships - USD 900,000 per craft, per year of service.
Our helicopter gunship fleet is based on various rotorcraft airframes, most of which were sold to us un-armed. We have since removed all of the side windows and doors, allowing trained air personell to shoot rifles and submachineguns at ground targets.

400 Mercenaries - USD 2,000,000 per 100 man war band, per year of service.
Our nations soldiers are among the most vicious and ruthless of any nation. This is due to the social environment in which they are brought up and trained. Each soldier is responsible for their own equiptment which ranges from UZI and MAC-11 submachineguns to AKS and AK47 rifles, depending on the wealth of the individual soldier.

If you are interested in either of these services, please comunicate with me and I will conduct the transaction on behalf of the suppliers.

I wish you success in all your battles, except those against our nation or her allies.

Rasputin Jones - Administrator for the Armed Republic of Social Extremists
Sdaeriji
15-12-2003, 10:57
The Imperial Dominion has all of your requests at hand for immediate delivery. Prices can be negotiated. Note we have an abundance of small, innaccurate automatic rifles from one of our test runs. Also, we currently allow several divisions of our army to be hired out as mercenaries. We have several themes to choose from: The "Heavy-German-Accent" theme, the "Turbaned-Nomad" theme, the "Italian Silk Suit" theme, the "Soviet Arctic Soldier" theme, and the "Renegade-US-Special-Forces-Unit" theme. All are available currently, although we must sadly report that the "Central-American-Guerrilla" theme is currently out of stock.
Kazar-Tiyon
15-12-2003, 11:05
Do you want a pet of some sort? They seem to be popular amongst evil villians. I could probably get you a long-haired white cat, or any sort of dangerous creature...
15-12-2003, 11:16
We at PBman are currently in production of our first Doomsday device, however due to our strict quality control procedures (ISO900001) it will not be for sale until after it has been successfully tested…
15-12-2003, 11:21
Can somebody sell me nukes? Please?
The mods are not human. They are part human, part machine. They are hooked up to a computer program called [violet]. They are jealous of your ability for independent thought. NationStates is a grand mind-control conspiracy. In NS2, they will start to go for your mind as well. I tried to tell people about this, but they changed all my messages to "This is not spam." Maybe this time they will not notice I have slipped a message through.
Did you really think that this site was dedicated to helping Max Barry sell his book? No! It is an extensive research project. In the second game, theories of mind control based on this one will be tested on the general population, and when a working technique is found, Max Barry will control the world. Don't let it happen!
15-12-2003, 11:24
Can somebody sell me nukes? Please?
The mods are not human. They are part human, part machine. They are hooked up to a computer program called [violet]. They are jealous of your ability for independent thought. NationStates is a grand mind-control conspiracy. In NS2, they will start to go for your mind as well. I tried to tell people about this, but they changed all my messages to "This is not spam." Maybe this time they will not notice I have slipped a message through.
Did you really think that this site was dedicated to helping Max Barry sell his book? No! It is an extensive research project. In the second game, theories of mind control based on this one will be tested on the general population, and when a working technique is found, Max Barry will control the world. Don't let it happen!LOL Get a life dude.
Sdaeriji
15-12-2003, 11:26
Can somebody sell me nukes? Please?
The mods are not human. They are part human, part machine. They are hooked up to a computer program called [violet]. They are jealous of your ability for independent thought. NationStates is a grand mind-control conspiracy. In NS2, they will start to go for your mind as well. I tried to tell people about this, but they changed all my messages to "This is not spam." Maybe this time they will not notice I have slipped a message through.
Did you really think that this site was dedicated to helping Max Barry sell his book? No! It is an extensive research project. In the second game, theories of mind control based on this one will be tested on the general population, and when a working technique is found, Max Barry will control the world. Don't let it happen!

Very creative, but not unprecedented. It's not hard to see these things.
15-12-2003, 14:43
Warlord Jones of the Armed Republic of Social Extremists respectfully reminds I-rey that our offer of military services is temporary and requests corrispondance from I-rey at their earliest oppertunity.