NationStates Jolt Archive

The Ascention of his Holiness, Emperor Wuppet-Pank VII.

11-12-2003, 21:30
*International Communique from the His Imperial Holiness of Pank ...Godmodicus Flamicus Wuppet VII*

Transmission is broadcast to any nationstates who are equipped with Satelite, Digital, or Cable communications, from the orbital Pankian Flagship “The Dawn Threader”. Transmission will interupt a random channel of any conventional satellite broadcast within your nationstate, but it can be intercepted by any cable communications publishers to show at their governments discretion.

A 5 pointed emerald star is embossed upon a gold background.
Camera cuts to a woman in a fiercely creased white suit in a suitably technical enough surroundings to explain the presence of her 'bionic eye'

“I, First Minister Fatcher of the Holy Pankian Empire hereby announce the succession of His Imperial Holiness Wuppet VII. In achieving sovreignity and bringing our realm into the seventh consecutive age of the Wuppet-Pankian dynasty, Emperor Wuppet has opened the bubble of our nation, for the first time, to all the other civilised nationstates of this world.

In celebration of our induction into the world and as tribute to you: the civilised nationstates of Earth, we have prepared the following sacrifice...”

First Minister Fatcher pauses to open a golden envelope with a green five pointed star on the back

“....of twenty estate-agents! - from ....Pod ...63!!!!”

Image pulls away from the First Minister and pans out through the viewing bay of the orbital “Dawn Threader” to a view of the moon, which is partially eclipsing the Earth below.
From the bottom of your ‘screens’ small floating figures move swiftly into view... as if ejected from some kind of airlock, or...something... and then, as the cameras zoom in, and the shot chops between the long range and close ups from the docking bay:

The figures are revealed to you: the viewers; to be live humans who appear to be gasping for air within their pressurised suits.

Following their ejection, a few seconds later, what can only be described as “Shiny Green Spacebikes, Ridden By Futuristic Space-Knights” zoom out of the docking bay - the crisp ‘dyeeeoowww!’ of energy blasts, dubbed clumsily on top the visual, crackle (apparently) through the vacuum of space from the ‘Space Knights’ ‘Laser-Lances’, with a sound like Ewok-fat spitting from a barbeque.

The screen is filled with the colourfully chaotic spree of violent death for about 20 seconds, several close-ups capturing in repeated slow-motion the horror, terror and fear on the faces of the sacrifices, before their flesh is rendered into a pulpy liquid cloud, surrounded by bits of clothes and boot.

The shot slowly withdraws from the carnage back to the bridge of the ‘Threader, where First Minister Fatcher has been joined by a gruff looking fellow, sporting a grizzled chin and stiff green military uniform. More medals hang from a chain on his lapel than you could get awarded during a hundred Sommes of violent selfless psychosis .

“I, Field Marshall Loon, would like to declare to the militarists, hunters and enslavers among the viewers, that the Imperial Arsenal is now open for business. Prospective clients of our top-draw impossibly destructive weapons and unchievable technological capabilities of fantastical proportions should send all correspondance to: “General Lampoonery, Armoury Division, Pod 4, Pank-City-1””

The camera pans back inexpertly to First Minister Fatcher, and the shouting face of the be-crowned Emperor appears projected on the screen behind her.
The face appears to be angry and panicked, but there is no sound and First Minister Fatcher speaks over as the camera focuses slowly onto her face and zooms in to her ‘unneccesarily technical’-looking bionic eye..

“It’s first come - first served people, so do as His Holiness, Emperor Wuppet VII commands and: ‘Get Back In Line!’...”

*Transmission Ends*
12-12-2003, 15:24
artistic bump.
12-12-2003, 15:35
And again! All Hail Emperor Wuppet!