10-12-2003, 20:25
In an effort to promote world peace, -_-_-_-_Funk_-_-_-_- is hoping all nations will spend all of their military budgets on these...
SILLY WEAPONS!
The Swordbroad: Invented by a tribe of fantastical male chauvinists, the Prix, this armament consisted of a wife gripped by the ankles and whirled like a flail (Prix warriors made frequent jocular allusion to the sharp cutting edge of their wives' tongues). The weapon died out, along with the Prix, in a single generation, for tolerably obvious reasons.
We are actually only selling the idea, as we obviously can't sell you the weapon. 200 funky credits for blueprints.
The Rotator: A handgun in which the bullets are designed to rotate as well as revolve, presenting an approximately even chance of suicide with each use.
50 funky credits per each.
The Bullista: a weapon with admittedly limited range which attempts to sow confusion among the enemy by firing live cows into their midst, placing them upon a dilemma of the horns. (Also called the Cattling Gun.)
500 funky credits per each. Ammunition extra.
The Arbalust: A modification of the bullista, which sought to distract and demoralize the enemy by peppering their encampments with pornographic pictures and literature--yet another dillemma of the horns.
200 funky credits per each.
The Dogapult: Another modification of the bullista; self-explanatory.
300 funky credits each. Ammunition extra.
The Cross 'Bo: Yet another modification of the bullista, this weapon delivers a payload of enraged hobos. Thus gunnery officers could choose between teats, tits, mastiffs or bindlestiffs.
200 F.C. per each.
The Blunderbus: A hunter-seeker weapon which destroys the steering box in surface mass transit.
400 for launcher, 100 per missile.
The Guided Missal: Originally developed as a specific deterrent to the Arbalust; as, however, it is hellishly more destructive, its use is now restricted by international convention to use on Sundays.
200 F.C. for a week's stay.
The Slingsh*t: Self-explanatory; often used in politics.
50 F.C. for launcher; we absolutely refuse to sell ammunition. Feel free to use your own.
No refunds, please.
SILLY WEAPONS!
The Swordbroad: Invented by a tribe of fantastical male chauvinists, the Prix, this armament consisted of a wife gripped by the ankles and whirled like a flail (Prix warriors made frequent jocular allusion to the sharp cutting edge of their wives' tongues). The weapon died out, along with the Prix, in a single generation, for tolerably obvious reasons.
We are actually only selling the idea, as we obviously can't sell you the weapon. 200 funky credits for blueprints.
The Rotator: A handgun in which the bullets are designed to rotate as well as revolve, presenting an approximately even chance of suicide with each use.
50 funky credits per each.
The Bullista: a weapon with admittedly limited range which attempts to sow confusion among the enemy by firing live cows into their midst, placing them upon a dilemma of the horns. (Also called the Cattling Gun.)
500 funky credits per each. Ammunition extra.
The Arbalust: A modification of the bullista, which sought to distract and demoralize the enemy by peppering their encampments with pornographic pictures and literature--yet another dillemma of the horns.
200 funky credits per each.
The Dogapult: Another modification of the bullista; self-explanatory.
300 funky credits each. Ammunition extra.
The Cross 'Bo: Yet another modification of the bullista, this weapon delivers a payload of enraged hobos. Thus gunnery officers could choose between teats, tits, mastiffs or bindlestiffs.
200 F.C. per each.
The Blunderbus: A hunter-seeker weapon which destroys the steering box in surface mass transit.
400 for launcher, 100 per missile.
The Guided Missal: Originally developed as a specific deterrent to the Arbalust; as, however, it is hellishly more destructive, its use is now restricted by international convention to use on Sundays.
200 F.C. for a week's stay.
The Slingsh*t: Self-explanatory; often used in politics.
50 F.C. for launcher; we absolutely refuse to sell ammunition. Feel free to use your own.
No refunds, please.