NationStates Jolt Archive


Wombat News: Matthew Iesus to Spend Christmas with Whores

Wombat News
10-12-2003, 17:50
Iesus Christi, Wombat News

With Christmas not far away, Matthew Iesus has been lending his support to various causes during the holiday season. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=102348)

Matthew Iesus went on to defend his speech, stating that his Iesus Christi regime "is nothing like the Nazis." He explained "the Nazis were militaristic bullies convinced they were the master race. They wanted to invade other countries to boost their own economy. They wanted to weed out imperfect human specimens using genetic science. They used the cinema as propaganda for the masses. And they subsidised major corporations to pioneer weapons of mass destruction. Hope that’s cleared everything up. Now - can we please stop all this nastiness and start invading Syskeyia. I mean Lavenrunz.”

His unexpected speech to the citizens of Lavenrunz gained him even more universal derision and condemnation, and that will hurt when he realises that the general populace was not laughing at his jokes, but laughing at him personally. However, following his attempt to reach out to Lavenrunz, Iesus is planning on spending Christmas reaching out to a different sort of folk – Syskeyian crack whores.

“I plan on taking an extensive tour of some of the more well-known crack-houses, and get into the whores' heads a bit, and see if I can help them choose perhaps a different path,” said Iesus.

When asked what path he would like to see them follow, he stated “the path to the back of my limo.”

THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – THE ONLY UNBIASED SOURCE OF NEWS ON NATIONSTATES
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg
Knootoss
10-12-2003, 17:54
ROFL 8)
Roania
17-12-2003, 10:09
<Bump>

Because, frankly, I hate the guy, and I want to cause him pain.

~Prince Alexander Tyral Black, speaking to Kelly Maxwell on why they were re-spreading this news.
Larkinia
17-12-2003, 10:15
:lol: That's great!