NationStates Jolt Archive


Monarch Arms Inc. Storefront: The Landshark Rifle!

Steel Butterfly
10-12-2003, 01:46
http://invisionfree.com:54/129/44/upload/p303.jpg

First invented to clean out the Elf Colony on Orion XVII, the Landshark Rifle releases a baby land shark. Using an advanced system of hormone treatment and electronic stimulators, the gun's mechanics cause the shark to grow to its full size in seconds and home in on its intended target, bringing with it one of the most unpleasant forms for passing into the hereafter.

If other enemies are nearby it will continue on for several more victims. During this spree, you can change weapons or fire off another shark for double the bloodcurdling screams.

Useful and great at parties, the Land Shark Gun was voted last year's "Gun of the Year" by the Monarch Heights Gazette.

And now…the moment you’ve all been waiting for! As of six hours ago…Monarch Arms Incorporated is selling these humoursly fiendish weapons for 2,000 © (Imperial Credits) each! Order now and have the weapon delivered with five frozen sharks free! What a deal!
Steel Butterfly
10-12-2003, 01:57
Honestly...who wouldn't want this weapon? :wink:
Sketch
10-12-2003, 02:02
WTF??

uhhhhh, what does this thing do again? Shoot out landsharks?
Vrak
10-12-2003, 02:08
OOC: As I said before, bizarre but cool. How can you make sure the shark doesn't eat the shooter?
Steel Butterfly
10-12-2003, 02:18
It shoots far enough...and isn't really a close-range weapon.

Some Video Footage of the Landsharks in question:

http://invisionfree.com:54/129/44/upload/p305.jpg
Steel Butterfly
11-12-2003, 00:56
bump 8)
Agrigento
11-12-2003, 00:58
ooc: lol, reminds me of an old SNL skit.

http://www.snn-rdr.ca/snn/old/nov98/nov98/images/snl.gifhttp://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/pics/76flandshark2.jpghttp://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/pics/76flandshark1.jpg
Steel Butterfly
11-12-2003, 04:48
OOC: No one wants to buy one? Personally I'd have a blast with it!
Vrak
11-12-2003, 07:35
OOC: Somehow, I see the landshark gun as being in tune with the unbalanced nature of the Klatch. If you could do the same with the Klatchian crocodile and chickaroach (is a monstrous hybrid of chicken and cockroach, with 16 legs and 3 heads and is a result of nuclear weapons) you might have a buyer!
Crownguard
11-12-2003, 07:44
Humourous, though not very practical. Ill buy one to use for the execution of criminals, however.


*Wires the money in Imperial Marks, to be converted to Imperial Credits*
Quippoth
11-12-2003, 07:48
Ill buy a dozen! Woo hoo! More executions!
The Eastern Bloc
11-12-2003, 08:11
We shall outfit our entire population with the Landshark Rifle! Now nothing stands in my way of galactic domination!

[/insanity]

We'll take 1 for experimental purposes.
Steel Butterfly
12-12-2003, 04:21
Consider each one sent. They will arrive in due time.
Steel Butterfly
14-01-2004, 19:00
Bump for a new year. Come up...buy them up! :twisted: