NationStates Jolt Archive

Good evening. Tonight on International Discovery, we look at the bustling nation of East Canuckistan. many of you probably have never heard of this small, quaint little land. Well, that's why we're featuring it this week.

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The flag of East Canuckistan

Lying roughly a hundred miles off of the coast of Quebec and just south of Greenland, East Canuckistan is a land of sharp contrast.

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The rugged Coastal Mountain range.

In the north, a sharp ridge of mountains make the coast nearly inaccessable by land. Oddly enough, this is actually were two of the largest cities of Canuckistan are, one being the reasonabley large port city of Victoriaville, and the other being the subterrainian city of Edmontonopolis. Edmontonopolis is in itself remarkable, not because of its nearly hundred million inhabitants, but due to the fact that it is entirely underneigth the otherwise impassable Coastal Mountain range. To get to the port of Victoriaville, one must actually go through the highway tunnels network that connects Edmontonopolis to the outside world.

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The beautiful land of East Canuckistan

Towards the south, however, the land turns relativly flat, though rocky. Four cities lie along the southern coast, including Thunder Bay, Deep Cove,
Shell Point, and Hamilton. Most of these cities are of very moderate climate, but ti shoudl be noted that years of steel production and slightly substandard housing has made Hamilton relativly, well, ugly.

The captial of East Canuckistan is Kamploops, noted for being built entirely upon the only substantal hill for miles. This is also the largest city in the nation, with nearly half of the populace living in its towering skyscrapers and high-rise apartments. Also, the Nongovernment Tower is here, where the Nongovernment of EC holds it's meetings. Currently, the Prime Minister is Paulus Martin, pictured here.

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The Hon. Prime Minister, Paulus Martin

He has been PM for three years, and currently holds the record for the longest standing government in Canuckistan history. The political situation here is anything but ordinary. Nominally a democracy, no one is really sure who runs anything, as the Nongovernment really only puts out suggestions for people to listen to. Some government agencies try to keep things in order, but generally the populace just does what it wants. Thankfully, the population is generally ordly, and little trouble arises. However, those who arn't are responcible for much of the crime that happens.

The opposition leader, Mr. Richard McCaully, pictured below, is another prominant figure in East Canuckistan. Given that the Nongovernmetn itself does next to nothing, it is unclear what exactly McCaully does. Still, he had been the Opposition Leader for close to twenty years, and have opposed no less then 382 different governments over that time.

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Opposition Leader, the Hon. Richard McCaully

After the break, we'll brnig you more detail of East Canuckistan history, as well as other details about this quaint little country.

We're back. ANd now, for a little history of East Canuckistan.

Early in the 18th Century, Viking explorers found a remote island bewteen Greenland, and what is now Newfoundland and Labrador. This island, while relativly large, went unnoticed by most, and the Viking who lived there had peace for many years. Everntually, migrants from both Canada and the rest of the world started moving there, and before long, Canuckistan was a land divided. most of the differing ethnicities didn't take kindly to each other, and generally kept to themselves. In spite of all the general mistrust, the differing communities started to come together and work side by side around the turn of the 20th century. Finally, Canuckistan became a nation on August 2nd, 1911, setting up the Governmental Union. Over teh years, however, social order gradually disintegrated as people became increasingly uninterested in the government. Thus, in 1983, the Nongovernment was formed, and rather then actually governing, spent its time making suggestions for fixing old laws. Little has changed since then; the military still has never seen combat, and the government has not made a law in over thirty years. In fact, the courts are the only thing left in the land that even resembles something called order, but even then most of the judges just do what the mob watching the trials demand. Some might call this chaos, but to the people of this land, it is a paradise. Freedoms are respected, and everyone can do as they please. There is no voting or drinking age, though the Ministry of Transportation still maintains the tradition of issuing Drivers Licenses to those over sixteen. However, since there is really no way to prove someone's age, many children younger then that have licenses after passing the tests.

Later, we'll focus on the impact East Canuckistan has had in international events, as well as their sports and athletics.

And we're back again.

Well, it is interesting just how much the politics and sports of East Canuckistan are intertwined. The election process is actually quite bizzare; it is actually an ice hockey tournement. Each political party sponsors a team. Every voter in the country bets on which teams will win and so on. The team that wins the month-long tournement ends up forming the government. As a show of gratitude, those who bet and made money on the teams return a fraction of their winnings to the sponsoring parties, which is how campaign contributions are made. The seond place team goes on to form to Offical Opposition, with the other teams getting a percentage of Parlimentary seats according to their overall rankings.

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Here we see the Martin Canucks goalie make a save against a rushing McCauly Browns foreward.

Thusly, the teams that win often get more in contributions, so can afford better players, and thus be re-elected more often. The tournment is supposed to happen every two years, though usually more frequenly due to teh rampant corruption and and general uselessness of the governing body. No less then thirty teams compete in the now nearly annual tournement, but the perennial favourtives of late have been Martin's Canucks. For the last three years, they have managed to beat McCaully's Browns in the championship game. Oddly enough, despite making the finals for twenty years running, the Browns have never won. No one knows if this is intentional or not, but many see it as odd.

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A Rovan's Avalanche player crashes the net, despite the presence of a Canuck defender.

When an election tournement isn't happening, inter-city hockey forms the bulk to the sports enjoyed by most. twenty teams form Canuckistan's National Hockey League, which plays for the coveted Bryant Cup. Other major sports include curling, as well as various forms of skating and skiiing. As winter lasts for nearly eight months here, few summer sprts are popular, though American football does have quite a television following. Gambling on all of these sports occurs regularly; indeed, it beacme so popular in the 1970's that the government stopped all regulations against it.

Next up, the global impact of this topsy-turvy little nation.

D'ron sat back, his arm around Lesley as they watched the holoimager rended the television signal into 3D.

It was good to have a night off occasionally, with nothing to worry about, to watch HD. It was entertaining, and you found out all sorts of things official briefs would never ever tell you.

He poured a glass of Dominion wine, which hopefully very soon would become much cheaper. It was expensive, even for him, the Imperial President. And the government paid for basically everything he needed.

Of course, that massive bonus for winning the war when he was younger helped considerbly. Made a nice base, in addition to his pay for being President.

Though he did wish he hadn't had to take the job this soon. That his friend and mentor, the previous President had lived longer, to prepare him better.

Though it wasn't exactly like he'd made hash of the last five years. But enough of that.

The show was coming back on. This country they were talking about was very different. That was a good way of putting it.

He felt Lesley's head on his shoulder as the last commercial died away.

"Be sure to move the parcel before the Tv show is back on!" called some random housewife in some random country to her random child.

We're back, again. We'd like to thank our sponsers, TravelLink and the Cancukistan Ministry of Tourism for funding this documentary, Without them, we'd have even less.

It should be noted that even the discoverers of East Canuckistan have an interesting history. Svend Normak was the captain of the Swedish exploation vessel Köttbulle, who's crew, due to a clerical error, were called Vikings on the official registry. (Köttbulle, it should be noted, is actually translated into english as "Meat-ball") Captain Normak made landfall just to the south of what is now Hamilton, but due to forgetfullness, he could not find a Swedish flag to plant to mark the occasion. After some time and searching, a new flag was created, which is still the flag of East Canuckistan today.