NationStates Jolt Archive

In a recent press conference today, the Holy Atheist Pope John Paul -- leader of Atheist Jesus -- declared the nation's intentions to

Crack down on organized religion except Atheist Jesusism.

Furthermore, he stated that all followers of any faith besides Atheist Jesusism, the worship of an Atheist Jesus and the abolition of free will, will be publically executed in a rather gruesome manner.

First, the religious criminals and heathens will be lined up, bound, across the walls of the golden, jewel-encrusted palace of the Vatican. Next, machine gun fire will violently dilapidate the victims' legs. After this, the leg-less men and women will be dipped up to their chests in a giant acid pool nearby the golden, jewel-encrusted Vatican. After this painful form of punishment, these people will be asked to denounce their faith. If they comply - we will simply behead them, if they do not comply - we will either manually remove their organs or crucify them.

All hail the all-knowing, all-seeing, tolerant, merciful Atheist Jesus!

Wow... this whole thing sounds really dumb... sorry, but my brain hurts from reading 19 oxymorons in a row :)

Stupidest thing I have heard today :roll:

An audio version of this decree has yet to be released, we wonder how you obtained such a thing. Please, fill us in!

All hail the all-knowing, all-seeing, tolerant, merciful Atheist Jesus!

ESCNA

The ticker scrolled acrossed the bottom of the screen as usual.

#### International News #### --- Thousands of Christians, Muslims and Hebrew killed in Athiest Jesus. Ministry of Religious Channels applauds the slaughter of Muslims but not of Christians.

Surprising news reached the throne room of the golden, jewel-encrusted Vatican.

Reports show that 90 percent of Atheist Jesusians are not followers of the Atheist Jesus faith.

The Pope responded to this surprising report cooly and calmly.

These heathens will be executed and purged from the soiled Earth once and for all! However, our execution methods seem to be a tad long and will most definitely give these heathens a chance to escape without proper punishment! Oh, the horror! Can you imagine a world without an eye-for-an-eye method of punishment! There would be... there would be...

Peace! And hate crimes would plummet! Oh, the angst!

Now, concerning our new, speedier ways of execution:


All Christian population centers will have nuclear bombs dropped atop of them, regardless of civilian deaths or not.
Muslims mosques will be destroyed by suicide bombing government agents.
Jewish settlers will be duped into surrendering all their weapons, and then they will be cooked and fed to loyal Atheist Jesusians.
Hindus will be firebombed.


And so He has spoken.

All hail the all-knowing, all-seeing, tolerant, merciful Atheist Jesus!

Stone River is shocked at the sheer idiocy and contempt of the nation of Atheist Jesus. In Stone River, religious differences are not punished, they are celebrated. As a result, we have an excellent amount of diversity in our nation of not just different religions, but different cultures as well. Stone River begs this nation to treat its citizens like human beings, instead of peons.

i know what my country's official religion is now!