NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm trying to accumulate an entire list of all the Ferengi rules of aquisition....i'm hoping people will post numbers and laws to assist me

One google search and there you go, knock yourself out. :)

#1 Once you have their money ... you never give it back.

#2 You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try.

#3 Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.

#4 A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.

#5 If you can't break a contract, bend it.

#6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.

#7 Keep your ears open.

#8 Small print leads to large risks.

#9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.

#10 Greed is eternal.

#11 Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.

#12 Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.

#13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.

#14 Anything stolen is pure profit.

#15 Acting stupid is often smart.

#16 A deal is a deal ...until a better one comes along.

#17 A contract is a contract is a contract, but only with a Ferengi.

#18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.

#19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.

#20 When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.

#21 Never place friendship above profit.

#22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.

#23 Never take the last coin, but be sure to get all the rest.

#24 Never ask when you can take.

#25 There's always a ways out.

#26 As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.

#27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.

#28 Morality is always defined by those in power.

#29 When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying.

#30 Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money.

#31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother ...insult something he cares about instead.

#32 Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects.

#33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.

#34 Peace is good for business.

#35 Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.

#36 Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore.

#37 You can always buy back a lost reputation.

#38 Free advertising is cheap.

#39 Friendship is temporary, profit is forever.

#40 She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.

#41 Profit is its own reward.

#42 Only negotiate when you are certain to profit.

#43 War is good for business.

#44 Never confuse wisdom with luck.

#45 Profit has limits. Loss has none.

#46 Make your shop easy to find.

#47 Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.

#48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.

#49 Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent.

#50 Gratitude can bring on generosity.

#51 Never admit a mistake if they're someone else to blame.

#52 Never ask when you can take.

#53 Sell first; ask questions later.

#54 Never buy anything you can't sell.

#55 Always sell at the highest possible profit.

#56 Pursue profit; women come later.

#57 Good customers are as rare as latinum -- treasure them.

#58 There is no substitute for success.

#59 Free advice is seldom cheap.

#60 Keep your lies consistent.

#61 Never buy what can be stolen.

#62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.

#63 Power without profit is like a ship without an engine.

#64 Don't talk shop; talk shopping.

#65 Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.

#66 Anyone serving in a fleet who is crazy can be relieved, if they ask for it.

#67 Anyone asking to be relieved is not crazy and must be forced to serve.

#68 Ear stroking will get you anything.

#69 Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.

#70 Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise.

#71 There's a customer born every minute.

#72 Never trust your customers.

#73 If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.

#74

#75 Home is where the heart is ...but the stars are made of latinum.

#76 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.

#77 Go where no Ferengi has gone before; where there is no reputation there is profit.

#78 When the going gets tough, the tough change the Rules.

#79 Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.

#80 If it works, sell it. If it works well, sell it for more. If it doesn't work, quadruple the price and sell it as an antique.

#81 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.

#82 The flimsier the product, the higher the price.

#83 Revenge is profitless.

#84 A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount.

#85 Never let the competition know what you're thinking.

#86 A wife is a luxury, a smart accountant a necessity

#87 Trust is the biggest liability of all.

#88 When the boss comes to dinner, it never hurts to have the wife wear something.

#89 Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.

#90 Mine is better than ours.

#91 He who drinks fast pays slow.

#92 Never confuse wisdom with luck.

#93 He's a fool who makes his doctor his heir.

#94 Females and finances don't mix.

#95 Expand or die.

#96 For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule. (except when there's not)

#97 Enough ...is never enough.

#98 Act without delay! The Sharp knife cuts quickly.

#99 Trust is the biggest liability of all.

#100 Everything that has no owner, needs one.

#101 The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to purchase it for.

#102 Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.

#103 Sleep can interfere . . .

#104 Faith moves mountains ...of inventory.

#105 Wise men don't lie, they just bend the truth.

#106 There is no honor in poverty.

#107 A warranty is valid only if they can find you.

#108 A woman wearing clothes is like a man without profit.

#109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.

#110 Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.

#111 Treat people in your debt like family ...exploit them.

#112 Never have sex with the boss's sister.

#113 Always have sex with the boss.

#114

#115

#116 There's always a catch.

#117 You can't free a fish from water.

#118 Never cheat a honest man offering a decent price.

#119 Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet.

#120 Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum.

#121 Everything is for sale, even friendship.

#122 As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.

#123

#124 Friendship is temporary, profit is forever.

#125 A lie isn't a lie until someone else knows the truth.

#126 A lie isn't a lie, it's just the truth seen from a different point of view.

#127 Gratitude can bring on generosity.

#128 Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.

#129 Never trust your customers.

#130 Never trust a beneficiary.

#131

#132 The flimsier the produce, the higher the price.

#133 Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet ...sometimes, good things come in small packages.

#134

#135 The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.

#136

#137 Necessity is the mother of invention. Profit is the father.

#138 Law makes everyone equal, but justice goes to the highest bidder.

#139 Wives serve, brothers inherit.

#140 The answer to quick and easy profit is: buy for less, sell for more.

#141 Only fools pay retail.

#142 A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.

#143 The family of Fools is ancient.

#144 There's nothing wrong with charity ...as long as it winds up in your pocket.

#145 Always ask for the costs first.

#146

#147 New customers are like razor toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.

#148 Opportunity waits for no one.

#149 Females and finances don't mix.

#150 Make your shop easy to find.

#151 Sometimes, what you get free costs entirely too much.

#152 Ask not what your profirs can do for you; ask what you can do for your profits.

#153

#154 The difference between manure and Latinum is commerce.

#155 What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too.

#156 Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.

#157 You are surrounded by opportunities; you just have to know where to look.

#158 Don't pay until you have the goods.

#159 The customer is always right ...until you have their cash.

#160 Respect is good, Latinum is better.

#161 Never kill a customer, unless you make more profit out of his death than out of his life.

#162 Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.

#163 A thirsty customer is good for profit, a drunk one isn't.

#164 Never spend your own money when you can spend someone else's.

#165 Never allow one's culture's law to get in the way of a universal goal: profit.

#166 Never give away for free what can be sold.

#167 If a deal is fairly and lawfully made, then seeking revenge especially unprofitable revenge, is illegal.

#168 Beware of relatives bearing gifts.

#169 Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.

#170 Never gamble with an empath.

#171 Time is Latinum. The early Ferengi gets the Latinum.

#172 If you can sell it, don't hesitate to steal it.

#173 A piece of Latinum in the hand is worth two in a customer's pocket.

#174 Share and perish.

#175 When everything fails... A.) Scream as loud as you can B.) Run.

#176 Ferengis don't give promotional gifts!

#177 Know your enemies ...but do business with them always.

#178 The world is a stage - don't forget to demand admission.

#179 Whenever you think that things can't get worse, the FCA will be knocking on your door.

#180 Never offer a confession when a bribe will do.

#181 Not even dishonestly can tarnish the shrine of profit.

#182 Whenever you're being asked if you are god, the right answer is YES.

#183 Genius without opportunity is like Latinum in the mine.

#184 There are three things you must not talk to aliens: sex, religion and taxes.

#185 If you want to ruin yourself there are three known ways: gambling is the fastest, women are the sweetest, and banks are the most reliable way.

#186 There are two things that will catch up with you for sure: death and taxes.

#187 Borrow on a handshake; lend in writing.

#188 Never bet on a race you haven't fixed.

#189 Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.

#190 Hear all, trust nothing.

#191

#192 Never cheat a Klingon ...unless you're sure you can get away with it.

#193 Klingon women don't dance tango.

#194 It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.

#195 Wounds heal, but debt is forever.

#196 Only give money to people you know you can steal from.

#197 Never trust your customers, especially if they are your relatives.

#198 Employees are the rungs on your ladder to success - don't hesitate to step on them.

#199 The secret of one person is another person's opportunity.

#200 If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.

#201 The justification for profit is profit.

#202

#203

#204 When the Grand Nagus arrives to offer you a business oportunity, it's time to leave town until he's gone.

#205 When the customer dies, the money stops a-comin'.

#206 Fighting with Klingons is like gambling with Cardassians - it's good to have a friend around when you lose.

#207 Never trust a hardworking employee.

#208 Give someone a fish, you feed him for one day. Teach him how to fish, and you lose a steady customer. (or =>)

#208 Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a question is... the answer.

#209 Tell them what they want to hear.

#210 A wife, who is able to clean, saves the cleaning lady.

#211

#212 If they accept your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.

#213 Stay neutral in conflicts so that you can sell supplies to both sides.

#214 Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.

#215 Instinct without opportunity is useless.

#216 Never take hospitality from someone worse off than yourself.

#217 Only pay for it, if you are confronted with a loaded phaser.

#218 Always know what you're buying.

#219 Possession is 11/10 of the law.

#220 Profit is like a bed of roses - a few thorns are inevitable.

#221 Beware of any man who thinks with his lobes.

#222 Knowledge is Latinum.

#223 Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.

#224 Never throw anything away: It may be worth a lot of Latinum some Stardate.

#225 Pride comes before a loss.

#226 Don't take your family for granted, only their Latinum.

#227 Loyality can be bought... and sold.

#228 All things come to those who wait, even Latinum.

#229 Latinum lasts longer than lust.

#230 Manipulation may be a Ferengi's greatest tool, and liability.

#231 If you steal it, make sure it has warranty.

#232 Life's not fair (How else would you turn a profit?)

#233 Every dark cloud has a Latinum lining.

#234 Never deal with a beggar; it's bad for profits.

#235 Don't trust anyone who trusts you.

#236 You can't buy fate.

#237 There's a sucker born every minute. Be sure you're the first to find each one.

#238 The truth will cost.

#239 Never be afraid to mislabel a product.

#240 The higher you bid, the more customers you drive away.

#241 Never underestimate the importance of the first impression.

#242 More is good ...all is better.

#243 If you got something nice to say, then SHOUT.

#244 If you can't sell it, sit on it, but never give it away.

#245

#246 He that speaks ill of the wares will buy them.

#247 Never question luck.

#248 Celebrate when you are paid, not, when you are promised.

#249 Respect other culture's beliefs; They'll be more likely to give you money.

#250 A dead vendor doesn't demand money.

#251 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.

#252 Let the buyer beware.

#253 A contract without fine print is a fool's document.

#254 Anyone who can't tell fake doesn't deserve the real thing.

#255 A wife is a luxury ...a smart accountant a necessity.

#256 Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer's stuck purse.

#257 Only fools negotiate with their own money.

#258 A Ferengi is only as important as the amount of Latinum he carries in his pockets.

#259 A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know.

#260 Gambling is like the way to power: The only way to win is to cheat, but don't get caught in the process.

#261 A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.

#262 No lobes, no profit.

#263 Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.

#264 It's not the size of your planet, but it's income, that matters.

#265

#266 When in doubt, lie.

#267 Cheating is wrong, but it's good for business.

#268 Latinum is better than everything.

#269 A man is counted by his latinum.

#270 It´s better to have gambled and lost than to never have gambled at all.

#271 There's many witty men whose brains can't line their pockets.

#272 The way to a Ferengi's heart is through his wallet.

#273 Always count their Latinum before selling anything.

#274 There is no profit in love; however, a strong heart is worth a few bars of Latinum on the open market. Keep it on ice.

#275 Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.

#276 If at first you don't succeed, try to acquire again.

#277 Diamonds may be girl's best friends, but you can only buy the girl with Latinum.

#278 It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.

#279 Never close a deal too soon after a female strokes your lobes.

#280 An empty bag cannot stand upright.

#281 Blood is thicker than water, but harder to sell.

#282 Business is like war; it's important to recognize the winner.

#283 Rules are always subject to change.

#284 Deep down everyone's a ferengi.

#285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.

#286 When Morn leaves, it's all over. [Quark's Rule.]

#299 Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time.

oh you should know they purposelly left out numbers to make it seem like theres more and to encourage Ferengis to create them.

oh you should know they purposelly left out numbers to make it seem like theres more and to encourage Ferengis to create them.
sounds like the Ferengi to me

oh you should know they purposelly left out numbers to make it seem like theres more and to encourage Ferengis to create them.
sounds like the Ferengi to me

Then we should add it to the rules of adquisition! :D


Rule #326: Always leave out numbers in a list so that the list looks longer than what really it is. :P

#66 Anyone serving in a fleet who is crazy can be relieved, if they ask for it.

#67 Anyone asking to be relieved is not crazy and must be forced to serve.

It's the damn Catch-22!

Were these taken out of a book or does someone have one hell of an imagination? Someone to list over 200 of them, wow. Either way, that person must be unemployed, lol.

Rule 001 » Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Rule 002 » The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
Rule 003 » Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
Rule 004 » A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
Rule 006 » Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Rule 007 » Keep your ears open.
Rule 008 » Small print leads to large risk.
Rule 009 » Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Rule 010 » Greed is eternal.
Rule 011 » Even if it's free, you can always buy it cheaper.
Rule 012 » Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
Rule 013 » Anything worth doing is worth doing twice.
Rule 014 » Keep your family close, keep your Latinum closer.
Rule 016 » A deal is a deal. (until a better one comes along).
Rule 017 » A contract is a contract is a contract - but only between Ferengi.
Rule 018 » A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Rule 019 » Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Rule 020 » Only give money to people you know you can steal from.
Rule 021 » Never place friendship before profit.
Rule 022 » A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Rule 024 » Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
Rule 025 » There's always a way out.
Rule 026 » As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
Rule 027 » There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Rule 028 » Whisper your way to success.
Rule 029 » What's in it for me?
Rule 031 » Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. (insult something he cares about, instead).
Rule 033 » It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
Rule 034 » War is good for business.
Rule 035 » Peace is good for business.
Rule 037 » If it's free, take it and worry about hidden costs later.
Rule 039 » Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.
Rule 040 » She can touch your lobes, but never your Latinum.
Rule 041 » Profit is its own reward.
Rule 042 » What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too.
Rule 044 » Never confuse wisdom with luck.
Rule 045 » Ambition knows no family.
Rule 046 » Make your shop easy to find.
Rule 047 » Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
Rule 048 » The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Rule 049 » Everything is worth something to somebody.
Rule 050 » Gratitude can bring on generosity.
Rule 051 » Reward anyone who adds to your profits so they will continue to do so.
Rule 052 » Never ask when you can take.
Rule 057 » Good customers are as rare as Latinum, Treasure them.
Rule 058 » There is no substitute for success.
Rule 059 » Free advice is seldom cheap.
Rule 060 » Keep your lies consistent.
Rule 062 » The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Rule 065 » Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
Rule 068 » Ear stroking will get you anything.
Rule 069 » Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
Rule 072 » Never trust your customers.
Rule 073 » If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.
Rule 075 » Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum.
Rule 076 » Every once in a while, declare peace. "It confuses the hell out of your enemies".
Rule 077 » It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.
Rule 078 » When the going gets tough, the tough change the Rules.
Rule 079 » Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
Rule 082 » The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Rule 084 » A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount.
Rule 085 » Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
Rule 087 » A friend in need means three times the profit.
Rule 089 » Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your profits.
Rule 092 » There are many paths to profit.
Rule 093 » Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly.
Rule 094 » Females and finances don't mix.
Rule 095 » Expand or die.
Rule 096 » For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule, (except when there's not).
Rule 097 » Enough... is never enough.
Rule 098 » Every man has his price.
Rule 099 » Trust is the biggest liability of all.
Rule 100 » If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.
Rule 101 » The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.
Rule 102 » Nature decays, but Latinum lasts forever.
Rule 103 » Sleep can interfere with...
Rule 104 » Faith moves mountains... (of inventory).
Rule 105 » Don't trust anyone who trusts you.
Rule 106 » There is no honor in poverty.
Rule 107 » A warranty is valid only if they can find you.
Rule 109 » Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
Rule 111 » Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them [ruthlessly].
Rule 112 » Never have sex with the boss' sister.
Rule 113 » Always have sex with the boss.
Rule 115 » The best contract always has a lot of fine print.
Rule 116 » There's always a catch.
Rule 117 » Everything is for sale, including friendship.
Rule 119 » Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet, (...sometimes, good things come in small packages).
Rule 121 » Everything is for sale, including friendship.
Rule 123 » Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum.
Rule 125 » You can't make a deal if you're dead.
Rule 126 » Count it.
Rule 127 » Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides.
Rule 135 » Never trust a beneficiary.
Rule 139 » Wives serve, brothers inherit.
Rule 141 » Only fools pay retail.
Rule 142 » There's no such thing as an unfair advantage.
Rule 143 » Risk is part of the game... play it for all it's worth.
Rule 144 » There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Rule 146 » Necessity, n. The mother of invention. Profit is the father.
Rule 152 » A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know.
Rule 153 » Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
Rule 162 » Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
Rule 169 » Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.
Rule 171 » Blood is thicker than water, and Latinum is thicker than both.
Rule 172 » Chances aren't what they used to be.
Rule 177 » Know your enemies... but do business with them always.
Rule 181 » Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Rule 188 » A fool and his money is the best customer.
Rule 189 » Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
Rule 190 » Hear all, trust nothing.
Rule 191 » A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
Rule 192 » Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
Rule 194 » It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
Rule 200 » If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.
Rule 202 » The justification of profit is profit.
Rule 203 » New customers are like razor-backed Gree worms... They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back!
Rule 204 » It takes a Ferengi to cheat a Ferengi.
Rule 208 » Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
Rule 211 » Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success... don't hesitate to step on them.
Rule 214 » Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
Rule 216 » Never gamble with an empath.
Rule 217 » You can't free a fish from water.
Rule 218 » Always know what you're buying
Rule 219 » Possession is 11/10 of the law.
Rule 223 » Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
Rule 229 » Latinum lasts longer than lust.
Rule 231 » There's a sucker born every minute; be sure you're the first to find each one.
Rule 236 » You can't buy fate.
Rule 239 » Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
Rule 241 » Never trust a hardworking employee.
Rule 242 » More is good... all is better.
Rule 253 » Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer's stuck purse.
Rule 255 » A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.
Rule 256 » Accountants do not play the game; they only keep the score.
Rule 260 » Life's not fair. How else would you turn a profit?
Rule 261 » A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
Rule 262 » A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Rule 263 » Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Latinum.
Rule 265 » The customer is always right, (...until you get their cash).
Rule 266 » When in doubt, lie.
Rule 267 » If you believe it, they believe it.
Rule 270 » In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator.
Rule 277 » Anything worth fighting for is worth hiding from.
Rule 284 » Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
Rule 285 » No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Rule 286 » When Morn leaves, it's all over. (Quark made this rule up)
Rule 299 » Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. that way, it's easier to exploit them the next time. (Neelix made this rule up)

Were these taken out of a book or does someone have one hell of an imagination? Someone to list over 200 of them, wow. Either way, that person must be unemployed, lol.

it's google search

Who needs profit when you're a socialist like me,
Socialist like me, socialist like me?
An ounce of latinum is a lifetime of pain.
What good reason is there to gain?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mliêstôlkakûmek(Love all as you love yourself)
Racism-the other stupid ideology
Peace, love, and girls with small waists and really big butts!
http://www.sulucas.com/images/steatopygia.jpg

Were these taken out of a book or does someone have one hell of an imagination? Someone to list over 200 of them, wow. Either way, that person must be unemployed, lol.

it's google search

There are two Ferengi books on the RoA.

The first is The Legends of the Ferengi by Ira Steven Behr (the person who was the producer/director for Deep Space Nine)

The second is The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition by Ira Steven Behr and Quark (the Ferengi from DS9)

Who needs profit when you're a socialist like me,
Socialist like me, socialist like me?
An ounce of latinum is a lifetime of pain.
What good reason is there to gain?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mliêstôlkakûmek(Love all as you love yourself)
Racism-the other stupid ideology
Peace, love, and s with small waists and really big !
http://www.sulucas.com/images/steatopygia.jpg
Dare I ask?