Alcohol Outlawed in Springfield
Simpsons Springfield
30-11-2003, 19:36
After more carefully reviewing our town, Springfield, charter we suprisingly discovered these two laws, which had never been known before:
"...as chief constable, ye shall receive one pig every month and two comely lasses of virtue true."
and
"...spiritous beverages are hereby prohibited in Springfield under penalty of catapult."
Since the discovery of these two laws, prohibition was declared. Therefore, illegal alcohol consumption and police bribery skyrocketed to an embarassing level. We must preserve these laws in the name of our great founder, Jebediah Obadiah Zachariah Jenediah Springfield, who founded our great and noble town over 200 years ago in the year 1796. We ask for outside aid to maintain these alcoholic... uhh... demons.
Mayor Joe Quimby of Springfield, USA
A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.
http://www.trevweb.com/simpsonstrivia/Images/quimby.gif
****
Today, Mayor Joe Quimby was caught at the "Sleezy Motel" in eastern Springfield with three half-naked women. Eyewitness reports have stated that the mayor was intoxicated at the time...
In other news, a violent earthquake rocked Paris killing thousands...
...This has been Channel 6 News...
Atlantian Outcasts
30-11-2003, 19:37
rofl. I love simsons
Canyonero
30-11-2003, 19:39
The Canyonero will roll through Springfield and flood the streets with beer!
We will give 20 million Marks to this noble cause. 8)
Simpsons Springfield
30-11-2003, 19:41
This is no time to be laughing! As we speak, vile and wicked alcohol is continually being flooded into our great town! Our entire police force [Chief Clancy Wiggum, Eddy, Lou] has been greatly overwhelmed!
Mayor Joe Quimby of Springfield, USA
A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.
http://www.trevweb.com/simpsonstrivia/Images/quimby.gif
Walmington on Sea
30-11-2003, 19:58
"'Embiggens'. I'd never heard that word before I came here."
"I don't know why, it's a perfectly cromulent word."
-Exchange between two Walmingtonian holiday makers visiting Springfield (of course they booked their holidays prior to the uncovering of the anti-alcohol law, or they should certainly not have considered the destination. Incidentally, Walmingtonian tourism to Springfield over the next month is down from a typical three, to zero advance bookings.)
Simpsons Springfield
30-11-2003, 20:10
No! Tell your citizens not to be discouraged from Springfield because of this prohibition law! There are plenty of other activities tourists may participate in! Look!
-See the world-famous Springfield Isotopes (hold the record for longest losing streak ever at 26 games!)
-Visit our Nuclear Power Plant!
-Krusty the Klown resides here! Yes, THE Krusty the Klown!
-Take a stroll down to The Leftorium for all your southpaw needs!
-Visit the First Church of Springfield and learn the miracle of shame!
-Android's Dungeon features Radioactive Man #1000 at an affordable price, only 25 dollars!
So you see, Springfield is a hell of a town! And please do not go to Shelbyville, they marry their cousins!
Mayor Joe Quimby of Springfield, USA
A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.
http://www.trevweb.com/simpsonstrivia/Images/quimby.gif
Simpsons Springfield
30-11-2003, 21:29
You fools! Hundreds of gallons of illegal liquor are being smuggled in by ruthless mobsters and you expect us to do something? As the international community, you are obligated to assist us in suppressing these felons!
Mayor Joe Quimby of Springfield, USA
A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.
http://www.trevweb.com/simpsonstrivia/Images/quimby.gif
Phalanix
30-11-2003, 21:33
Hell we think the intel branch is providing the illegal liquor.
*the intel guys stumble by carrying a pair of kegs*
Pablicosta
30-11-2003, 21:52
-Crossing The State Border into Springfield through Shelbyville come thirty huge black trucks carrying precious Duff beer. Following are many black, tinted windowed cars apcked with armed menw aiting to "deal" with the interfering police.
Pablicosta
30-11-2003, 21:52
-Crossing The State Border into Springfield through Shelbyville come thirty huge black trucks carrying precious Duff beer. Following are many black, tinted windowed cars apcked with armed menw aiting to "deal" with the interfering police.
Simpsons Springfield
30-11-2003, 22:55
Too bad those Shelbyvillians drink Fudd instead of Duff...
Simpsons Springfield
01-12-2003, 03:48
After actually reading the rest of our town charter, we've discovered that the prohibtion law in Springfield was repealed exactly one year after it was put into effect. Thus, alcohol has once again been legalized in Springfield.
Mayor Joe Quimby of Springfield, USA
A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.
http://www.trevweb.com/simpsonstrivia/Images/quimby.gif
****
Within five minutes, hundreds of Springfieldians had gathered and alcohol had been flooded into the town legally. A plump man, bald as a cueball, stood before the crowd giving a short, blunt and inspiring speech to the people.
"To alcohol: the cause and solution to all of life's problems!"
This was followed by a roar of cheers and a drinkfest. Springfield's gross blood alcohol level reached its highest ever today... God bless liquor!
---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---
Crownguard
01-12-2003, 04:10
The nation of Crownguard warmly congratulates Springfield for its wise decision in allowing alcohol. We fully support you and send as a gesture of goodwill one "Get out of Jail Free" card to Mayor Quimby. We trust he will put it to good use.
"Beer and liquor...never sicker."
"Whiskey is the TRUE Jedi drink!"