NationStates Jolt Archive

Hear ye! Henceforth, this section of the forum shall be used exclusively by and for nations admitted into the Chosen Four to discuss anything they so deem appropriate. Any nations interfering with the free flow of ideas between the nations of The Chosen Four shall be subject to immediate vendetta and castration.

Rules:
-All posts of at least 1 paragraph must contain an o/pcr or face a motion of Suck Balls (proposition CF-2).
-Any nation that edits its own post more than one hour after it was originally posted or edits a post after it is responded to and criticized will be placed in the Sultan's Harem for one week. (this is to ensure the authenticity of our political record and to discourage tampering)
-PRABOB!
-This forum will retain the spirit of the CF message lodger.
-All decisions of the CFDC are final.
-All members of the CFDC deserve the utmost respect
-The CFDC are:
I-rey = Supreme Emperor
Darkvale = Infinitly Wise Sage
Scaraba = House 1 (name TBA)
Ta Chuang = House 2 (name TBA)
KAHN!

As mighty Sultan and prospective Head Honcho of Immigration, I would like to call to the forefront the issue of the One World Alliance. Should we enter into such a thing, knowing full well that if another member state is attacked, we are obligated to help? The Sultan is leery of military action, especially because he knows not of how to roleplay a war. Oh yeah, and he is the leader of a pacifistic nation. Scaraba is hereby voting AGAINST entrance into the OWA, because of the aforementioned reasons, and Sliponia's constant pestering of the Sultan (also Sliponia spammed our constitution thread, the fiend!). Issue number two (in this case, not referring to fecal matter): The upcoming UN resolution! Voting ends this Sunday. If the resolution is set to pass, Scaraba will resign from the UN, and strike out as a soverign nation. Say what you will about environmental concerns, but the people of Scaraba need dough for which to fill their pipes with frop and crop (I-rey stylee) and their domeciles with unnecessary products of materialism. Issue three: the two Parliaments (Parliaments are infinitely cooler than crappy ol' houses) of legislature need proper titles. The Sultan's Parliament, being concerning the following topics: Business and corporation, military/national security, law enforcement, foreign affairs, should be titled appropriately. The Sultan suggests the Funkotronic Parliament of Regional Interests. The AmbASSador's Parliament, being responsible for drafting laws concerning the following topics: the environment, civil/human rights, education, and housing should be titled The Psychedelic Parliament of Human Affairs. Appy polly loggies for this post being so long, but now that we have shifted to forum mode, the Sultan feels so LIBERATED! Rough, just the way your mother likes it.

The AmbASSador hereby approves the eloquent titles for our bi-cameral legislature and the wheels of thought are already churning about new laws bills for our region in the areas of education, human ri...BORING! Anyway i'll be spicing up these issues with a little action ARMED REPUBLIC style. Also I share in the belief that the Chosen Four should not burden itself with obligating treaties such as the One World Alliance, and in addition, we should make a provision in the Constitution limiting the signing of treaties that requrie military action. However, this issue is not part of the Psychedelic Sector, so the AmbASSador will leave this issue up for later debate. Thats it...NINJA STAR!

The Grand Doob was unaware of the military obligations in the OWA and thus reverses his decision which means a 3/4 majority, so The Chosen Four will not be entering the OWA. Any nations unhappy with the current UN resolution should know that our regional delegate may not have internet access in his tribal hut (or maybe his mom won't let him go on NationStates), so the Chosen Four's stance on the issue may not change.
He who is called the Dude agrees that the two houses should be named promptly, but suggests the more simplified titles Mothership and Funkadelic. (Example: The new bill passed in Mothership but was held up in Funkadelic) The Parliament Funkadelic would be Scaraba and the Mothership Connection would be Ta Chuang. Tell the I what you think.
There was another mother on that ship, are you hip?

The Salty Sultan of Scaraba, Head Honcho of Immigration, and Speaker of the Funk for the Parliament Funkadelic would like to announce that the new titles for our legislative bodies are tasty and delicious. The inSultan applauds the Doob on his creamy revision of the previously proposed titles (and on his high-larious new nomenclature). In reference to the UN decision, the Sultan hereby doesn't give a crap about what everyone is voting on this resolution, because Scaraba has seceded from the UN. That's right, Scaraba is going it alone, just as the Chieftain does ten to twelve times a day. Also, the Sultan declares, right here and right now, that the OWA is craptacular and condemns the use of military force, except as a means to impress dames. Since the Chief cannot procure internet at home, the Sultan suggests that he step up and slap the womb from whence he came in the face. That's totally lame. But heeeeeeeeeeeeeee-LARIOUS! Hail to the king, baby!

The Sultan would like to share the news of Scaraba's cricket team's stunning defeat of Akbarbad City. Take THAT, Akbarland!

Akbarbad City v The Scarabic Knights

Akbarbad City
1st Innings:-245
2nd Innings:-300 <--Here's where they tried to rally a comeback...
Total:-545

The Scarabic Knights
1st Innings:-350
2nd Innings:-196
Total:-546 <--Here's where Scaraba SMAAAAAASH! ed them.

Hey, ho, let's go!

The Tribal Chiefs are enraged even unto graphic cannibalism. The Sultan's unprovoked insult is needless and piles of unprovokism. We are speechless with angry dad power coursing through my veins. As if this weren't bad enough, Scaraba has also selfishly seceded from the UN. While I understand that many of their policies are antiquated and undesirable, in order to gain maximum international heft in the world of nationstates it is expedient that all members of the Chosen Four are also members of the UN. Again, Scaraba failed to even attempt convincing the other UN members of the Chosen Four that his opinion was the best way to go and would benefit our supple Region, just like he failed to please Althea every time they huh-a-huh. The following employees are being layed off: Homer Simpson. That is all.

--Accidental TRIPLE post--
Forgivahness Pleezah!

Just as Scaraba respects the sovereignty of the other nations in the Chosen Four, the Sultan wishes that they would show the same courtesy towards his fine lands. The United Nations is a counterproductive, loser group that restricts freedoms and ties the hands of its members (not in a hot, kinky way either!). The Sultan entered Scaraba into this organization thinking that democracy and world betterment were among its chief goals. Since that has been proven false, Scaraba quit! And as the Sultan writes this, the Chief is writing a rogue motion of Suck Balls on I-rey's flagrant breach of spelling and grammar etiquette. Though the Sultan would never take such drastic action, there are numerous rogue Suck Ballsable offenses in Darkvale's most recent, rage-fueled statement. Also, maximum heft can lick my love pump. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

Let it be know that the Holy Empire of Komdor respects the sovereigntyof Scaraba and its reasons for departing the U.N.
The U.N. seems to be interested only in asserting its power over its members, and ordering them about. The U.N. should exist to make the world better for people, and not try to assimilate nations. This is why the Holy Empire of Komdor has chosen not to join the U.N. For in the Holy Empire of Komdor, the economy ranks next to skiing on the mountain of importance (but not quite equal.) And recent U.N. resolutions would have needlessly hampered the economy.
The divinely inspired ruler of the Holy Empire of Komdor would also like to know where he may aquire a copy of the consitution of the Chosen Four. The people of the Holy Empire of Komdor would be most interested in knowing its contents.

whiz, Bang, EXPLODE!

Let it be know that the Holy Empire of Komdor respects the sovereignty of Scaraba and its reasons for departing the U.N.
The U.N. seems to be interested only in asserting its power over its members, and ordering them about. The U.N. should exist to make the world better for people, and not try to assimilate nations. This is why the Holy Empire of Komdor has chosen not to join the U.N. For in the Holy Empire of Komdor, the economy ranks next to skiing on the mountain of importance (but not quite equal.) And recent U.N. resolutions would have needlessly hampered the economy.
The divinely inspired ruler of the Holy Empire of Komdor would also like to know where he may aquire a copy of the consitution of the Chosen Four. The people of the Holy Empire of Komdor would be most interested in knowing its contents.

whiz, Bang, EXPLODE!

To the high and mighty Emperor of Komdor, the Greezy Dude of I-rey will give the divine gift of the location of the Chosen Four Constitutional Convention. http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=94191&highlight=. There you have it. In return, the ever so dashing Dood requests that the Emperor change his national motto to "Worse than dirt.", or, perhaps, "I'm crudgemudgeony!"
The funk not only moves, it removes. Dig?

The Sultan thanks the Hemperor of Komdor for his support of the anti-UN ideals, and calls upon all nations in the Chosen Four to wear their hearts on their sleeves and post their thoughts on this new swell of anti-UN sentiment. Stand up for what you believe in, and shoot for the moon (also means butt). This is the true spirit of our great region! Also watch out for multiple posts. NORM!

The Grumpy Dude of I-rey has recently gotten word of a DARK TOURNAMENT to be held in the land of the demons! In order to defend the world of NationStates he urgently requests that another CF nation put forth five fighters to stand up to these lords of evil. I-rey has already sent fighters from Onett, Twoson, Winters, Dalaam, and Saturn Valley. The challenge issued by the demons can be found here: http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=98137&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0.
Oh, and a definitive study by the health commission of I-rey found that Dootsie's mother is so fat, every time she turns around, it seems to be her birthday. Story at eleven.

Hello, and welcome to the nightly chicken wells.
The people of Dootsie think it's totally solid to abstain from being pansy. Truly, staying in the UN when you find grievances is akin to handing your soul to the devil in a brown paper bag along with incense, condoms, and cheap wine. Where would the fun be in controlling a nation if you had to join up with the brain harvesters, anyway?
The people of Dootsie would also like to note that multiple posts are not only annoying, they tend to smell like cod liver. Cod liver, as you might imagine, does not smell like the fresh mountain air. Indeed, it smells like someone's cousin/sister after a long evening on the street corner.
v0te 5 f0r pr0n!!1 i am teh pi0lt!!1!

That is doper than dope! Can anyone cope? Yes? Well, maybe...Uh nope! The Sultan has filled the last slot, just as he seems to do everywhere he goes. And by slot, he means Giner! Oh yes! A brilliant find, Doobie, and props to you! Also, congratulations on your great use of harem priviledges. Dootsie, if you ever wish to stop this torrential downpour of abuse, the Sultan suggests that you start slamming CF nations and/or grow a pair. You had a perfect opportunity (with the cod liver oil quip) but it was squandered. Have no fear though, they will come again...just like the Sultan will in your mother. See how easy it is? See how easy she is? Brilliant, just brilliant. BIG NATURALS!

Indeed, Dootsie feels that it would be a fine thing to stop being loved from behind by you and your mother. However, it is a difficult thing for a lady of my stature to grow the "ones" to shove in your face. Hence, I fully intend to make much fun of your silly use of disregard for everything that makes sense, you unholy shrine of man juices. I jest--you are merely a small cooking pot of man juices, as the true shrine of man juices would, indeed, be the UN.
The people of Dootsie would also like to note that I-rey is an uncouth boob, and needs to consider hygiene.
In other news, the people of Dootsie do raise a fair question; if it is the intention of the Sultan to withdraw from the UN, and as it seems that he is not the only in the region to feel that there are certain undeniable problems within the group, how does the region intend to represent and broaden itself internationally? We are aware that a constitution is just being drafted, but it is integral to have such issues in mind whilst composing such an important document.
Just what do you think you are doing, Dave?

Finally, some wisdom in these hallowed halls, even if it's from the kitchen-dwelling nation of Dootsie. That's a heinous slam on you and your entire gender, Tootsie (like the movie!) Cha-ching$$Cash
But I digress. The UN is of utmost import in our plans towards world domination and dominatrixism. While they pass laws that control us now, before long, we shall be so powerful the entire UN will tremble at our very presence in the room! Or on the internet! Ta-ha!
I just received a t-gram from the Grand Dooky of I-rey informing me that he is withdrawing his endorsement of Darkvale as UN delegate of the Chosen Four. If I am not mistaken, then this means we have no UN delegate to exert our extreme testicular and ovacular might on the pettier nations of the world. I-rey's reasoning for his dastardly withdrawal of endorsement is that I failed to pow-wow with the Chosen Four on our position on the particular issue currently under debate in the UN. As I explained to him in a poorly-written t-gram, I voted in case I didn't get the opportunity to later in the week, seeing as how the Tribal Chieves' mother are tight-fisted nazis that don't allow them to peruse the internet at their disgression. I am still open to any swayings from my esteemed comrades in the Chosen Four. So instead of being a whiny little bid-nitch (meaning business) if you have a problem with anyone's UN-related decisions, let's talk it out like the immature young adults that most of us are, not withdraw certain parts of us from certain parts of others.
Oh yeah, and Komdor should change it's motto to "I'm not a 'G', Garret." T'would be tizzle. I can't believe how awesome I am, I mean, how awesome I AAAMMMM!!!

(Please note, I am currenty very crabby that the forums just consumed my last post. Phear my wrath! ... or not. Anyways, if this multi-posts, I WILL kill a small goat. I will!)
First, I would like to personally correct the insolent mistake young Darkvale made; Dootsie, in no way, rhymes with Tootsie. It is, indeed, said with a flourish; Doo tsee. Like poopsie.
Moving on, if need be, the people of Dootsie are willing to sacrifice their free will in order to benefit the region. This decision was made after a quick flip of a quarter on my part. Unlike those lesser nations, which reek of the less-pleasant end of a mule, Dootsie is a nation willing to put petty differences aside and join up with the UN if it might help the area. Thus, Dootsie feels like a better nation for it (and duly smells like Teen Spirit.)
I, Dootsie, namesake of the fair nation, would like to take this opportunity to make a few announcements:
*Letting minor disagreements smack this region around is just selfish. We must all work together, even if that means holding hands with the foulest of offenders.
*Dootsie is both my name and my country's name.
*I AM a kitchen-dweller. Would anyone like some bacon? Toast? Well, have some juice, then.
*I still have no "ones".
*Though I would like a cold one.
I just want bang, bang, bang.

Why yes, Poopsie, I would like some bacon. [EAT] Thanks, that's dee-lish.
As a result of Dootsie's new-found bacon-makin' skillz, I hereby agree with her on the "ignore petty differences" comment. Or do I. . . NO! If she's referring to our senseless name-calling and vicious pulic slander, then BLASPHEMY. Showing off our rapist-wits is what makes the Chosen Four great, that and our telekinetic powers. Without it, we'd just be another loser region like "Pacific" or "I am a crappy Region."
However, if Dootsie is referring to the immature withdrawing-of-UN-delegate-endorsement, then Amen, Sister! While I don't really care who is the UN delegate, it is essential that we have someone to be our Divine Representative to beat some sense and incense into the UN. And yes, Dootise, you should join the UN. They sometimes pass ridiculous laws, but once we get powerful enough, we'll be able to pass awesome laws, like the "All Regions but the Chosen Four are Double-Gay" bill I've been revising in secret. I also strongly insist that all other nations of the Chosen Four who are not currently members. . . of the UN join in immediately. The more members we have (he he he), the more international wrath we can unleash. So join today. You must die!

And the blessed and exalted Dootsie says: You brainless twit. Of course I'm referring to the political squabbles, not the ones involving our mothers (I can't help it if your mother is a weekend harlot, man.)
I adore our witty banter. However, it is no longer witty when it comes down to "you suck for something you did that couldn't really be avoided", and I can't say I support such things. It gets in the way of integral governmental, environmental, and social progress, and the people of Dootsie just won't have it. It's stupid. And your mother is one randy beast.
Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care...

Well, the High and Mighty Sultan hereby declares that he has applied for UN membership once again. He recognizes that flexing international muscle is more important (and cooler) than caring for the general populace. He also declares that...drum roll please...He is announcing his intentions of dethroning Darkvale as UN delegate. The Sultry Sultan spends whey more time at his computer than Darkvale, and now that the quarter has ended, he will spend even more. Also, the Sultan's mom is not a nazi, but instead a smoke a blunt and fall asleep at 7:30 kinda gal. That's the way it is in the Sultan's hizzy. So we should all endorse little old me for UN delegate. Also, check out UltraJesus and how hilarious and badass he is. And I hereby appoint Dootsie as Region Chef and Childbearer Extroardinaire. (If you don't like it, suck on my powerful junk) By the way, they're real, and they're SPECTACULAR!

Dootsie continues to boggle the mind and the Boggle game. What are you tatching about? I can't even comprehend the words. Please say something understandable so we can properly reply to you. hey, hey!

My head just exploded.
Between the horrible stench of stupidity and the painfully stupid comments, I have no idea how to react. So, I shall start from the beginning:
1.) The Sulky intends to de-throne Darkvale? Though it is undeniable that he is a git, you are the one that dissed the UN so heavily. In fact, your diss was a torrent of glistening man-jizz raining down over the humbled heads of those involved. What happened to that, Bucko? Should we assume that your devotion to the causes of the region are equally as fickle?
2.) Region Chef is a role I could, perhaps, fill. But what's with this Childbearer crap? We all know Darkvale's mom already has that covered. In more ways than one, I'm afraid.
3.) I propose we smack everyone in this region with a stick until they cry uncle. Myself included. I can't help but noticing which countries are active and which countries are sitting on their pansy behinds, waiting for the rest of the region to rule them. Come out and join us, you lazy bastards! When I rule the world, I swear, I won't have any sympathy. Okay, maybe a little. And also a nice rack of lamb with some leek and potato soup. But that is all!

Yatta!!

Now, to obliterate your feeble-minded woman attempt at argument!

1.) The Sulky intends to de-throne Darkvale? Though it is undeniable that he is a git, you are the one that dissed the UN so heavily. In fact, your diss was a torrent of glistening man-jizz raining down over the humbled heads of those involved. What happened to that, Bucko? Should we assume that your devotion to the causes of the region are equally as fickle?
The Sultan does not take kindly to the inferior gender addressing him as Bucko. Bucko is a name strictly reserved for playing cowboy (and sometimes the bedroom). But, just as Dootsie will see the light about how crusted over her naughty bits are, the Sultan did see the light about how worldwide politicking is an important issue. As you may have noticed, the Scarabian economy is back up to STRONG! After the unionization proposal, our economy went into the loo, but has since resurfaced stronger than ever. Much like the Toxic Avenger...Remember him? He was dope, fiend! And now that our economy is back on trackle, Scaraba can once again enter the unholy grip of the UN. (And for the record, I still think that the UN is a pile of dung...but potentially useful dung, once the CF controls it!)


2.) Region Chef is a role I could, perhaps, fill. But what's with this Childbearer crap? We all know Darkvale's mom already has that covered. In more ways than one, I'm afraid.
Burn!

3.) I propose we smack everyone in this region with a stick until they cry uncle. Myself included. I can't help but noticing which countries are active and which countries are sitting on their pansy behinds, waiting for the rest of the region to rule them. Come out and join us, you lazy bastards! When I rule the world, I swear, I won't have any sympathy. Okay, maybe a little. And also a nice rack of lamb with some leek and potato soup. But that is all!
Those CF nations that don't contribute anything, also don't get in the way. As long as they ain't overly annoying or lame-a-zoid, they can stay (in the opinion of the HHI). They only add to our regional muscle. Bam bam sloo-dam.

Being a fresh member of the UN, I will endorse whatever representative is chosen from our region, so long as he doesn't do something awful. However, I still have my qualms. I'm handing the fate of my entire country over to an institution I am not fond of. I would rather see my votes be spent on someone who is a fan of the UN and will vote as the region chooses, as opposed to what will help his country's economy.
After all, not every country is an automotive giant, dear Sultan. (Better known as Bucko the Clown.)
Randolph the blue-nosed mule, had a very shiny gun...

Dootsie, you ignorant slut: as one of the founding fathers (note: there are no founding mothers) of the Chosen Four, of COURSE the Sultan will vote the way the region deems. Unlike the Tribal (bung) Heefs of Darkvale, who simply vote as they please without discussing it with the region. The Sultan, too, is wary of the UN, but as our regional power grows, so too will the UN's awesomeness. We will bend the UN over our regional knees and give it a sound spanking. And then, the oral sex! But until then, the region should endorse the Sultan of Scaraba as delegate. Oh boy, can he delegate. Boop boop be doo!

Ultra-Jesus strikes again!
http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=100905

I am still at odds with the subject of the UN representative. You pulled out of the UN, as you often have with Darkvale’s mother, and bade the region see its err. Your fickle views of the UN unnerve me. I put utmost trust in you with the rules and regulations of our region, but it is hard for me to place full confidence in someone who feels the biggest problem with the international government is how it hurt his economy. Your sudden zeal for the international bid strikes me as a means of ensuring that the bills you want passed make it through. I’m sure you would never do anything to harm the region, but like any human, I’m sure you would do something that made things a little nicer on your end of the deal. And, of course, I’m not saying you’re the only person on this planet that might do something like this, and I really don’t know that you would. It’s just the fact that I don’t know you wouldn’t. It’s a pure matter of circumstance; it’s just a bit odd that soon after your complete disgust was announced to the region, you’re going for a direct role.
Let me be clear on one point, though; I’m not sure how to handle letting someone who isn’t on the computer as often take bid in the UN, either. I know that it’s certainly not Darkvale’s fault. But, then again, if he can’t get to the computer to vote on an issue or can’t contact the other nations, perhaps he should step down.
These are just my thoughts. I’d really like to see what another country thinks about all this; I’m afraid I’m overreacting.
Sippin’ on Coke and Rum, I’m like, so what? I’m Drunk!
It’s the freakin’ weekend, baby I’m about to have me some fun.

First of all, the Sultan would like to state that he never pulls out, but always blasts a shotgun load straight to the egg, fertilizing immediately. That's how fertile he is. Secondly, while your points about the Sultan's economic concerns are duly noted, he is willing to put the good of the region before any economic duress his nation might endure. He will vote the way the region wants him to (that includes you, Poopsie) and not the way he feels is best for his country. Hopefully he will not have to decimate his own economy or anything else, because hopefully the rest of the CF will take all the other nations' sensitive bits into account and vote FOR THE GOOD OF THE REGION! We're the neat kids! We don't do drugs or violence!

To find out your GDP, budget, defense specs, etc., replace Scaraba with the name of your nation, and follow this link.

http://www.pipian.com/stuffforchat/gdpcalc.php?nation=Scaraba&defenseprovided=1&defense=20&militarybudget=1

While I would be willing to step down as UN delegate if the Chosen Four deem it necessary, I have some things to say in my defense.
1) Scaraba, as a substance injesting sex-addict, is only as worthy of power as our real nation's current administration.
2) Scaraba, you flaming faggio. As any peen-tastic (or Boob-tastic) member of the Chosen Four knows, I have always taken the time to inform our region what topic is at hand in the UN and what side I have taken. It is then your responsibility to tell me I'm an idiot or a genius, before the topic is officially decided by the currently-most-undelicious UN. If you have a problem with the way I am voting, say something before it's too late! I try to place my vote as soon as possible so that, just in case of a massive computer explosion in my vacinity, Our fine region will still get a say in International Matters of Import.
3) I Just promised Ultra Jesus that, if he joined our region, he would automatically be enthroned as UN delegate. So if he joins, this topic is moot.
4) Dootsie has three nipples and one edible nipple.

This brings me to my final point. I just voted on the issue in the UN. DO YOU HEAR ME SCARABA!? I VOTED. Against it. It something about banning cruel torture on witnesses. I wanted to be able to torture people at my whim. SO SCARABA OR anyone else, IF YOU WANT ME TO CHANGE MY VOTE, SAY SOMETHING. IF ENOUGH PEOPLE COMPLAIN, SCARABADABADOO, I'LL CHANGE MY WICKED WAYS.

Jigga-Wha?

I just finished reading some posts from Ultra Jesus. If that great, great man is not kicked off, I suggest that we mount a campaign to find out where he lives, then go to his house and force him at wang-point to join the Chosen Four.
And I forgot to mention one point about the UN delegate issue. Scaraba has claimed that I rarely have computer access. This is a false and unfounded allegation. I have computer access every day if necessary except weekends. Much of the time, I may be able to sneak some computer time on when the nazi is out killing Jews Gyps and Queens.
Screw you, screw you, you're cool, screw you.

I have taken the liberty of investigating this "Ultra Jesus" you speak of. He is my new King.
By the way, I found this wonderful forum and decided that, as an insider, I was compelled to post something. Oh yeah, almost forgot. Giggety-giggety.

Darkvale...What are you, a ballsweat connieuseur? What in the wide wide world of sports could sway you to the side of the torturetastic bastards? I implore you, change your vote to no. Or else the Sultan will personally make you guzzle a gallon of Santorum. And as for Ultra-Jesus, the Sultan hereby proposes that he take over the second house of legislation, that is, the Mothership Connection. Lousy Ta Chuang, spendin' all his time in La La Land...Baba Booey!!!

Although the Sultan has a huge man-crush on Ultra Jesus, the Regularly Ripped Dude of I-rey nominates Dootsie, namesake of the People's Republic of Dootsie, to occupy the position of Mothership Connection if Ta Chuang does not report in immediatly. Ultra Jesus was already promised a position as delegate by some nations with negligible peen lengths and the Dude feels that he may become too powerful, too quickly. The Dude would prefer to have someone who has already adopted the CF vibe and has thus far successfully negotiated the sperm encrusted waters of the Sultan's Harem (of which Nigcity, the Jewboys, and UJ are now a part of). Although Ultra Cheebus may be mucho hilar, he would not be able to participate until he removes his feces stained fingers from Nigcity's various orifices. All in favor of Dootsie as the new pie-baking baby-droppin' MC of the CFDC, say AYE! All those with a love for sodomy say NAY!
...and really bad eggs. Yo ho, me hearties, yo ho!

Although the Sultan has a huge man-crush on Ultra Jesus, the Regularly Ripped Dude of I-rey nominates Dootsie, namesake of the People's Republic of Dootsie, to occupy the position of Mothership Connection if Ta Chuang does not report in immediatly. Ultra Jesus was already promised a position as delegate by some nations with negligible peen lengths and the Dude feels that he may become too powerful, too quickly. The Dude would prefer to have someone who has already adopted the CF vibe and has thus far successfully negotiated the sperm encrusted waters of the Sultan's Harem (of which Nigcity, the Jewboys, and UJ are now a part of). Although Ultra Cheebus may be mucho hilar, he would not be able to participate until he removes his feces stained fingers from Nigcity's various orifices. All in favor of Dootsie as the new pie-baking baby-droppin' MC of the CFDC, say AYE! All those with a love for sodomy say NAY!
...and really bad eggs. Yo ho, me hearties, yo ho!

AYE suppose that the Gland Doog of I-rey is correct about Ultra-Jeanus being an interracial sodomite. Also, the Sultan wasn't aware of the Big Cheef having a role in immigration, much less UN delegate nominees. While the Sultan won't contest it, he points out that Darkvale is quick to bestow powers upon itself, and could set some bad precedents. To balance out the family slant, Scaraba has given Tenderloins the passcode to our fine region. Also, we should change the passcode to prevent further sneakings in (I don't hate you Nigcity, only your entire extended family). Also, it has come to the Sultan's attention that a Jew nation is now in the Chosen Four. The Sultan wonders what the Anti-Jew Bunny has to say about this...Fap fap fap fap fap!

Dootsie would first like to take this opportunity to say that I-rey isn't nearly as diseased as those bathrooms in downtown Dootsie say they are. The Sultan's mummy called me last night and told me that the only problem she saw was it's a little knobby. Congrats!
Now, I have several things I'd like to say before you go on with your team-killing.
1.) Chill out, damn you!!
2.) Neither Darkvale nor the Sultan smell like cod, despite what they may say. I hear it's salmon. That's just a rumor, though.
3.) Darkvale is not a crook. From what I can see, he's been a good representative up until this point, despite a problem here or there. He has, until now, voted in a way that is both beneficial to the region, and just for the world. His decisions have represented the region in a positive light, putting us on the map politically. Claims that he doesn't get computer access are obviously a bit stretched, as we all see how often he posts in this forum. I'm sure he could manage a vote in that length of time. Perhaps the other nations are at fault for not posting their views of proposals where he could easily access them to go vote? What are these forums for, again?
4.) The Sultan is no fool, dog. Well read on the subjects at hand and ready to do whatever it takes to push the region forward, the Sultan might make a brilliant representative in the UN. However, let's not start a Good ol' Boys Network in the region; promising positions to friends, seizing extra positions for oneself, and just generally ensuring that huge concessions are made for you and yours is just bad politics. Moving on, things are just a little weird right now. We will prevail! Or just eat some of my delicious cheesecake!
5.) AYE, laddy. I'll do the job if everyone wants, I'll step back and let someone more qualified take the position if everyone really likes sodomy that much. I'm easy going.
"Where's the beef?" "In my pants."

Things are tough all over, Doots...The only problem with Darkvale (besides your having a bigger member) is that he doesn't consult with the region before imposing his views! Now, the Sultan knows that the rest of the Chosen Four needs to speak up, but if the Sultan was delegate he wouldn't vote on an issue until it was decided by the Chosen Four. Hear that, Darkvale? The Sultan has a conscience (and a wang-chung)! Also, change your vote on the torture proposal. Torture is wrong (except for Jews, and then only occasionally). Suck on mah junk, beeyotch!

The Chief tires of these petty squabbles. As he has repeated over and over, he always gives other nations an opportunity to have a say in UN issues. As Dootsie so wisely pointed out, it is the fault of the less-endowed nations if they do not address the topics I always mention. And as for the current issue, only Scaraba has expressed displeasure with my current vote, and until other nations say something, I will not make a change. I interpret silence as agreement.
As for these bogus allegations of self-power-bestowment, I say Fie! Through communication with Scaraba, I knew that the HHO was already requesting Ultra Jesus' entry into the Chosen Four. Apparently, this was too difficult a task for him, just like achieving an erection. Can I be blamed for trying to improve the Chosen Four? And as for my promises to Ultra Jesus about being the UN delegate, I conversed in private with I-rey (or possibly Scaraba, my fading mind fails me), and he readily agreed to this promise. The next thing I know, both nations were bashing me for making promises to outsiders on this forum! If this is going to be the two-faced behavior displayed by our Supreme Executive or HHO, then perhaps we should rethink distribution of power. And my understanding of the Head Honcho of Immigration's position was a responsibility to recruit members, not an exclusive right. Battle in Seattle

Of course, when the power of delegation was bestowed upon Darkvale, it was with the understanding that he would consult with the other members of the Chosen Four BEFORE voting! And private, backroom, closed door conversations are no basis for power distribution. However, as you have proven a totally lame-o-zoid delegate, I have endorsed Ultra-Jesus as UN delegate supreme! Here's hoping he doesn't get deleted! So, anyways, the issue is moot. Bam!

The Grand Dragon sits atop his human-leather throne and strokes his pet inner-city kid gently. He hears of the political battles that many nation take part in and laughs uproarously. He then stops to think, and asks himself if uproarously is a real word and, if so, whether it is spelled correctly. Quickly, he remembers that he is the Grand Dragon of Nigcity and decides that, not only is it a word, but any spelling of it is correct.
Quietly, he opens his tome of unholy knowledge and begins to read. . .
"Tomorrow I'll be sober, but you will still be ugly."

Grand Flagon: Though you are eloquent in writing ability, your content leaves much to be desired. Start having a point, yo, and maybe a weenie. Plus, I dig the KKK reference. But your foreskin is long and drags on the floor. Dootsie, once a month your slickwalled love box turns into a fountain of DOOM! NUDGE! Also, Savage Henry will have a concert in a meat locker, where we will play ice instruments, and the audience will mosh with big shanks of meat. Our opening song will be Nanook of the North, X-mas lights will light up the stage, we will play on a giant igloo, and snow machines will spray the world with snow! Also, I apologise if I made little sense. In my altered state, I tend to ramble on and on and on and on. I also repeal my anti-torture views, as it encompasses cruel and unusual punishments. Xanadu!

And Dootsie, as maturely as she can, screams:
"I hate you all!!"
This is pathetic, and I am made sad by your mindless bickering. Obviously, the whole political system you’ve so carefully set up is falling through because you’re all too childish to actually attempt to make it work. So, I lay down the proverbial law, you sorry sons of bitches;
1.) No more promising friends power within the region. First of all, what if they get rejected? Secondly, what if everyone else thinks your good pal is a cad? Just because you enjoy the mindless comments a person makes about the forums, it doesn’t mean they will make a good leader for the region.
2.) Everyone must take partial blame for everything they accuse someone of. Why? Because it’s almost always partially your fault. I know Darkvale has raised several of the UN proposals to discussion to deaf ears. If there’s something you agree with or hate, please speak out about it. No UN delegate is a mind reader. And if they are, I want to meet them. And ask them how the hell I can get you pathetic sods to stop whining. This really should’ve been brought to light earlier, before it sat and soured. That, then, is my fault in the matter; this could’ve been smoothed over much sooner, but I never bothered to pry.
3.) Stop to consider that you might not be the best fit for your position, either. That goes for anyone with eyes to read this. I’m sure everyone reading this has done something that should be frowned upon, be it voting without consent, passing something without vote, skipping someone through their harem, or pulling some Good ol’ Boys politics on us all.
4.) If there is any chance that a person will be deleted, endorsing them for the UN is a dumb-as-fack idea. Point blank, folks.
5.) The balance of power should be rethought, for every last country in the region.
6.) The scroll, the scroll, da buttons, da buttons… scrollin’ so smooth like the butter on da muffins!

Here it comes, the destruction of you...
And Dootsie, as maturely as she can, screams:
"I hate you all!!"

What, are you on your flow? I'm ready to demolish your arguments with well-reasoned, amphetamine-induced, sperm-soaked arguments!
1.) No more promising friends power within the region. First of all, what if they get rejected? Secondly, what if everyone else thinks your good pal is a cad? Just because you enjoy the mindless comments a person makes about the forums, it doesn’t mean they will make a good leader for the region.
Listen, Toots...Promising friends power is one of the essential principles the Chosen Four was based upon. If you don't like it, chomp mah chode. And by the way, none of the Chosen Four knows who Ultra-Jesus really is. Same goes with the Jews of Abetone and Nigcity.

2.) Everyone must take partial blame for everything they accuse someone of. Why? Because it’s almost always partially your fault. I know Darkvale has raised several of the UN proposals to discussion to deaf ears. If there’s something you agree with or hate, please speak out about it. No UN delegate is a mind reader. And if they are, I want to meet them. And ask them how the hell I can get you pathetic sods to stop whining. This really should’ve been brought to light earlier, before it sat and soured. That, then, is my fault in the matter; this could’ve been smoothed over much sooner, but I never bothered to pry.
I don't think that you grasp the deep friendships and reverence we have for each other. The original members of the Chosen Four all are real life heroes and each other's LongTerPerSavs. So, Dootsie, you can just make us some pie. By the shay, we figured all this out on our izowns, so suck it long and hard.
3.) Stop to consider that you might not be the best fit for your position, either. That goes for anyone with eyes to read this. I’m sure everyone reading this has done something that should be frowned upon, be it voting without consent, passing something without vote, skipping someone through their harem, or pulling some Good ol’ Boys politics on us all.See the first destruction of your argument.
4.) If there is any chance that a person will be deleted, endorsing them for the UN is a dumb-as-fack idea. Point blank, folks.
But Ultra-Jesus is sooper-dope! He's the only Jesus to vaporize a gay-pride parade! So you are lamer than FDR!
5.) The balance of power should be rethought, for every last country in the region.
You are worse than dirt. No.
In closing, your womanly emotional and hormonal fluctuations make for too serious of conversation. I would like to keep this more light, you strumpet. Now it's time...To climb aboard...the HOOOOOOOOOOO traaaain!!!

In summary, I think it might be best that I withdraw my country from the region.
Unless, by some miracle, I discover some reason to keep me here, I intend to remove my country from the ranks of this vile pit of "you suck", "nu-uh! you suck more". Consider this 24-hours of notice, unless there's been some law that requires longer. During this time, I'll run my mind over all both reasons I might want to stay and try and weigh out whether I want to deal with this witless chatter. As for "keeping things light", I think that went out the window a long time ago when certain countries decided against letting something stupid die.
To everyone that had any hopes of me staying, I'm sorry that I let the idle stupidity claim my patience.
And thank the gods above that I'm not on the rag, pal.

We shoot every third salesman, and the second one just left.

If that is your inclination, Dootsie, then there is very little that will change your mind. However, if Ultra-Jesus is the problem plaguing you, the Sultan urges you to look at it from our point of view. Racism and bigotry are ridiculous. It is in that ridiculosity (is that a word?) that we find such joy and humor. It is known that no Chosen Four nation is racist in policy, only in jokes. Why, the nation of Ultra-Jesus finds that same-sex marriages are increasingly common! Racism is schism, and I'm on a serious trip, but humor (not variety) is the spice of life, and if you don't find humor in intolerance, then I beg of you to become more tolerant. If the race for UN delegate is bothering you, then do realize that that has been decided. Scaraba and Darkvale have both dropped out and endorsed Ultra-Jesus. In the grand scheme of things, we really don't care who is UN delegate, just as long as it isn't the other person. Now! Since your private areas are free of feminine hygiene products, and you are (presumably) clear headed, it is the opinion of the Sultan that your womanly presence will be missed, should you decide to drop the bomb. The Chosen Four is in a state of calm. No one is bickering, no one is whining, and no one hates anyone! Please reconsider, as your wit and wisdom really added to our (math) debates. P.S. If you really want to see some change, post the etiquette rules that you wish to be incorporated into Chosen Four Law. Oooh yeah, ooo yeah, oo oo oooh yeah!

Dootsie, you cannot leave! Your fine female form will be missed from our message boards. Perhaps I am missing something obvious, but I'm a bit unsure of your reasons for leaving. Is it because of the UN delegate quarrels? As Scaraba so hazily pointed out, this has been settled. If it's something else, then don't expect us to 'just know,' as you females always do! Give "us" a chance! Oh, no-hoo.

The Grand Dragon recognizes his mistake and readily accepts penance for his crimes: forced sex with Dootsie. The evening begins with a delicious dinner of fried chicken, cornbread, and watermelon, then immediately moves into the bedroom. The actual act is awkward; more painful than pleasurable, due in part to Dootsie's rough cavern walls, which the the Grand Dragon's holy parts careen down like a freight train through the grand canyon. He returns home and sits on his heather throne and cries, "Run, Florist, Run!"

The Sultan, being the awesomely benevolent, malevolent, macho man he is has created an offsite forum wherein we can exercise our free speech without limits (and without blacks and Jews). The link is here:
http://s3.invisionfree.com/The_Chosen_Four/index.php
We should continue all discussion there, instead of using these bastions of immorality that some call "forums." Just register, it should be eazy-e. All of the DJs surely have taken lessons. Try talking trash and I'll come with my Smith and Wesson.

Dootsie, you are indeed brave for challenging the ultimate might of the Chosen Four and you deserve respect. However, you knew the risks when you brought forth the challenge against the combined lengths and girths of Il Ducé, the Smokechief, and the SummerSultan. You will soon find that NO ONE leaves the Chosen Four... they are kicked out with the big 'ol jackboot of justice. No hard feelings, but we must exercize our control over the region to impress the peons. "Fear will keep the local systems in line."
Happy trails to you, until we meet again.