NationStates Jolt Archive

Belem's Best Seller

28-11-2003, 09:16
Newspaper article from the Imperial Times:

"Today Michael Giganti's book 'On Belem, its enemies and its allies' reached the best seller list this week after only being in print for 2 weeks. Giganti is famous across all of Belem for his extrememly popular talk radio show which has been running for just over forty years. He also authored numerous books in that time all of which reached the best sellers list within weeks or months of their release. The 65 year old Giganti achieved nationwide fame when his first book 'The Essential guide and anaylsis of 'the destiny of the Belem people' was released 33 years ago. Since then he has been made an honory Inquisitor has dined with governors, generals, the Grand Inquisitor our current Emperor and his father. In the past two weeks over 60 million copies of his latest book were purchased. Here is an excerpt that Giganti is particuarly proud of:

One of the most insidious and vile of Belem’s enemy is the elf. These vile shape shifters are the spawn of the abyss and are against everything that is just and moral. Of course before we can understand why they are like this we must know the history of elves and Humans. The first reports of Elves also known as the fae were reported in medieval Europe as foul creature that would abduct men and women in order to steal their life force usually through lust. We have therefore established that Elves are no better the Succubi and Incubi by being creatures that dwell on the life force of others therefore making them tools of Hell. That is also why you will never see an Elf in its true demonic form it can only be manifested through the Elfs will or in its natural plane of existence.
The Elves have a crafty and deceitful lie however to mask this painfully obvious blemish in their history. They claim that Ero the creator of all created the Ainur who in turn created the Elves. However Ero is also the creator of the Elves most powerful enemy Melkor or so they would have you believe. For in actuality Ero himself is an evil and vile corrupter. The proof comes from the fact that even though Melkor showed his evil tendencies Ero did nothing to stop his own creation from embarking on his path of destruction, without any intervention from Ero, Melkor was allowed to roam free. Now does that seem to be the way a loving deity would respond to a dramatic act against its will? Even from the perspective of the worshipers of the heathen gods Ero does nothing and just watches the chaos. To our Catholic perspective this can only mean one thing that Ero is the elvish name for the devil or the great betrayer and his ainur are the demons of the abyss.
We can see this in the fact that even though Elves and Orcs are supposed to be the most mortal of enemies there has not been one war in recent history to show for this hatred. The Orcs brutality, evil nature, and gruesome appearance is blatantly obvious to keep peoples attention distracted where the “fairer,” deceitful and treacherous Elves can ply their dark arts without humans constantly watching. The Elves and Orcs are in league serving the same fell deity.
Another point to be seen is the Elvish notion of heading west, to the eternal city where the elves will live “peacefully”for all eternity. The city in the Elves own corrupted history of “The Silmarillion” says the city is surrounded by the highest mountains in the world. This of course means that there is no escape from there. It should remind you of the cursed “city of dis” in hell where no human can escape, amazingly which is also the same level of hell where the lustful are sent, yet another connection to the succubi from before.'
28-11-2003, 09:38
"How utterly awful." Science Advisor Hertzfeldt blinks as he turns off the newsfeed. "I thought our homegrown existentialists could be bad, but this is... ugh... so blatantly didactic, a collection of buzzwords and tired analogy."

"Yeah," Trade Advisor Spoilsport replies dismissively, "but will it play in Peoria?"

Jon gives the sanguine, rotund man an odd look. "Only if mulched and sold specifically for use as birdcage liner."

"A simple 'no' would have sufficed, Jon."

"For direction, sure. For magnitude... 'no' is somewhat lacking."
Steel Butterfly
28-11-2003, 09:40
"For magnitude... 'no' is somewhat lacking."

lol :lol:

What a great quote...haha
28-11-2003, 17:01
28-11-2003, 17:15
Serendis: We go west, dammit. West.

Siri: That's a pretty good sample of the rest of the book. It's not worth reading.

Serendis: You didn't buy that book, did you?

Siri: No, I didn't pay for my copy. Those Sea Orcs' ridiculously slow 'data havens' are occasionally good for something.

28-11-2003, 21:12
OOC: doh. I thought a made a mistake with that. Thats what I get for reading the book at 2 in the morning.