Nothing's happening.
Make something happen.
Please.
Hortulus Inquirer: Hortulun Pontiff looses his little hat!
"I don't know where it will be by now." Stammered one eye witness to the traumatic loss last Thursday of the cap. "One minute he (the Pontiff) was standing up on his splendid little balcony, and the next a gust of wind had carried it (the hat) from his head and blown it across the square!".
Another citizen purporting to have been on hand spoke of chasing after the runaway headgear, only to find that each time she approached her quarry it was as if pulled away, "you know, like some joker had a string attached to it, and was on a bike, or in a car, maybe."
Owing to the minute size of the Holy Republic, many fear that the ceremonial cloth cap may have crossed any part of the border and excommunicated itself entirely.
The mystery persists.
Notheeng eez happening, senor!