NationStates Jolt Archive


ValTech launches new product for women

27-11-2003, 01:02
ValTech Product Announcement B04
For immediate release to networks in potential markets

Unveiling the Satin Secret

ValTech has purchased the exclusive rights to the procedure and underlying research mentioned in this article...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1158429.stm

For as long as there has been sex, there has been women left unsatisfied. While mens climax is uncomplicated and simple to achieve, womens have been surrounded by an aura of mystery and superstition. Today ValTech can offer a cheap and safe solution.

Presenting the Satin Secret!. With the simple Satin Secret Implant (TM), any woman will be able to experience up to 5 daily orgasms anytime and place she desires. The Satin Secret is virtually undetectable and poses no discomfort at all. The implant comes with a small remote with an on off switch and a simple interface. There are currently 3 modes to chose from Light Breeze, Headwind and Tornado, which offer variying degrees of satisfaction.

While the ValTech Satin Secret (TM) Prototype is still a bit away from being ready for commercial use, the iniatial test of 25 women is looking very promising.

The procedure for the implant is quite simple, and ValTech will offer free training for foreign and domestic medical personel that wish to promote the product. The Satin Secret will have a build in security lock limiting it to 5 uses every 24 hours. Note that the warranty is void if the Satin Secret(TM) is implanted or tampered with by anyone but a certified Valtech operator.

We expect to be able to reduce the size of the device to the size of a coint over the next few months, a pricerange of $1000-1200, and we aim for a release around the second quarter of next year. Preorders are being accepted and processed now.

Gilbert Nayluf
CEO ValTech Enterprises
Picking up the slack from nature
27-11-2003, 01:06
These products, along with masturbation, have been banned in Catholicstan. CHRISTIAN POWER!!!
27-11-2003, 01:28
We regret to hear that Catholicstan Goverment has banned the use of our products. It's unfortunate when religious dogmas are allowed to stand in the way of personal fulfilment.

We would like to stress that any interested women of Catholicstan will still be able to buy the Satin Secret and have it implanted free of charge, if they come to one Valonia's 21 clinics.

Gilbert Nayluf
CEO ValTech Enterprises
Picking up the slack from nature
imported_Terra Matsu
27-11-2003, 01:45
Terra Matsu is officially interested in the technology. We would like the licence.
27-11-2003, 01:48
Excellent, we are looking forward to a mutually profitable enterprise.

Gilbert Nayluf
CEO ValTech Enterprises
Picking up the slack from nature
imported_Terra Matsu
27-11-2003, 01:49
þå Sätin Sêkret!!! (The Satin Secret)
27-11-2003, 02:26
Bump
04-12-2003, 15:02
Idumea has formed a Sexual Congress to make recommendations on governmental involvement in the distribution of Satin Secret via free clinics. COITION, Inc., a leading Idumean distributor of innovative sexual aides (e.g. The Purring Kitty), has won the contract to distribute the product via retail channels, and will also promote the use of the product via creative advertisements designed to make public orgasm as hip as the kids in Mentos commercials.