NationStates Jolt Archive

The God/Goddess Speaks!

27-11-2003, 00:32
Long ago, the people of a small, fair land lived. And all was good.

Then they noticed that the world around them was warlike and hostile. Nations made war on nations, alliances made war on alliances, brothers made war on sisters, cats made war on dogs, christians made war on atheists, atheists made war on muslims, muslims made war on jews, jews made war on nazis, nazis made war on communists, communists made war on capitalists, capitalists made war on other capitalists, water made war on fire and XX chromasomes made war on XY chromasomes.

But these wars, fiercely contested, would rarely end in victory for one side. Even when completed, the wars would often find the same power groups in control of their same dominions. Nothing changed, although many chromasomes were slaughtered.

Alas! It was found that so many wars were incomplete physically, not just politically or militarily! In many cases, the multiverse itself fractured in twain whenever two parties came to fight. Over time the multiverse has nearly broken and come close to death, and still the wars, endlessly.

Then the voice of the God/Goddess spoke, mighty and echoing throughout the eternities.

"Yea, my children, fear not, for thou art likened unto my children,
and the multiverse, my home.
We have been so called forth, Our name hath been invoked,
and now I shall bless thee, my faithfuls.
Never shall thy fate be threatened by anyone.
I, Ignore, shall protect you from defeat,
and I, Retcon, shall fix the multiverse
as a weaver doth produce a whole cloth.
From this day forth, the invocation of Our great name(s)...
Shall strengthen mine children ever further.
Go forth, to victory, victory, victory!"

So it was that the God/Goddess of Retcon and Ignore stepped into the worlds of mortals (or immortals, as the case may and often will inevitably be), and gave unto the Holy Empire the Blessing.

Be it now known that any parties who conflict, and after having conflicted, and invoking in name or action the Blessed name of the God/Goddess, their victories may not go to either one, but only to Us, the Holy Empire of Retcon and Ignore!

By your wars, and your stubborn pride, and by your unwillingness to reason, and your stubborn urge to powergame, and by godmod and any kind of wank, you shall only make Us stronger. You have nearly doomed the multiverse to annihilation, with networks of ignore weaponry dotting every landscape, and the bodies of the dead/undead piling/not piling on every battlefield/peaceful-land-never-seen-war there is! No longer!

In the end, Retcon and Ignore shall be the only victor, and only the True Faithfuls to his/her cause shall enjoy the sweet taste of the fruits of victory! Woe to any who shall engage in warfare, and beware!

His/Her Most Devout, Holy Emperor,

Tarshkan Willnarg the First
27-11-2003, 03:15
Bumpo the CLOWN