Wombat News
26-11-2003, 21:03
Aelosia, Wombat News
In the depths of the capital's heavily-forested park, many young humans live their existence in a tameless fashion. Cast out by Aelosian society, feral humans - with more animal instincts than human - live like savages just outside of the boundaries of civilization. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=96524) These Mon Keigh roam along the pathways, scrounging from overturned garbage cans and preying on the unfortunate park visitors who wander through the woods at night.
The park has always been a popular place to abandon humans. For years, desperate owners have been disposing of their unwanted pets like this, knowing that their actions could upset the delicate balance of nature. Many of these forsaken forest Mon Keigh are raised by wild animals - squirrels, chipmunks, and rabbits mostly - and end up roaming the park, menacing joggers and performing tricks for sindar to acquire food.
Dr. Aerandir Carnesîr is a leading feral human researcher., who has been studying the feral humans in their native park habitats for five years.
"I feel that, after several years of observation and non-intrusive behaviour, several of them have accepted me as part of the landscape," said Dr. Carnesîr, who spent many cold nights watching the feral humans from behind a duck-blind. "I have had the opportunity to observe their movements, undisturbed, and have concluded that despite their rough looks, and their abominable taste in clothing, they are not as menacing as they appear."
"One of the stereo-types we have of the feral human is that they enjoy drinking, making fools of themselves and chasing members of the opposite sex," said Dr. Carnesîr. "It's a result of watching too many soap operas. The modern feral human does indeed enjoy an alcoholic beverage from time to time, but insists on having many coffees to off-set the headaches that such consumption usually leads to. Instead of an espresso, they prefer a cappucino."
One of Dr. Carnesîr's favourite residents is 'Gord', a young park-dweller estimated at about twenty years of age.
"It's hard to tell exactly how old they are," he said. "Their ID, if they even have any, is usually fake. Gord's, for example, states that he is a 57-year-old black woman named 'Loretta'. We are almost certain that this is untrue," said Dr. Sabhin, giving a playful tug on Gord's long dreadlocks.
"Me wild and untameable," grunted Gord. "Don't try to box me in, man."
Although many of the park's residents are genuine feral humans, Dr. Carnesîr feels that some of the humans people encounter are really just homeless individuals who choose to live in the park. Feral humans are often confused with rebellious teenage eldar because of their grunting and incomprehensible speech.
"Oh, they try to look menacing, crouching and raising their 'hackles' to passers-by," said Dr. Carnesîr. "But it's an act, one they find more successful for fund-raising than traditional panhandling."
Dr. Carnesîr concluded that neither the feral humans nor the homeless elder were a threat to the sindar, and that the rabid appearances were only the result of consuming carbonated beverages and discarded lattés.
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – NEWS FROM THE FRONTAL LOBOTOMY OF SOCIAL ENGINEERING
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg
In the depths of the capital's heavily-forested park, many young humans live their existence in a tameless fashion. Cast out by Aelosian society, feral humans - with more animal instincts than human - live like savages just outside of the boundaries of civilization. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=96524) These Mon Keigh roam along the pathways, scrounging from overturned garbage cans and preying on the unfortunate park visitors who wander through the woods at night.
The park has always been a popular place to abandon humans. For years, desperate owners have been disposing of their unwanted pets like this, knowing that their actions could upset the delicate balance of nature. Many of these forsaken forest Mon Keigh are raised by wild animals - squirrels, chipmunks, and rabbits mostly - and end up roaming the park, menacing joggers and performing tricks for sindar to acquire food.
Dr. Aerandir Carnesîr is a leading feral human researcher., who has been studying the feral humans in their native park habitats for five years.
"I feel that, after several years of observation and non-intrusive behaviour, several of them have accepted me as part of the landscape," said Dr. Carnesîr, who spent many cold nights watching the feral humans from behind a duck-blind. "I have had the opportunity to observe their movements, undisturbed, and have concluded that despite their rough looks, and their abominable taste in clothing, they are not as menacing as they appear."
"One of the stereo-types we have of the feral human is that they enjoy drinking, making fools of themselves and chasing members of the opposite sex," said Dr. Carnesîr. "It's a result of watching too many soap operas. The modern feral human does indeed enjoy an alcoholic beverage from time to time, but insists on having many coffees to off-set the headaches that such consumption usually leads to. Instead of an espresso, they prefer a cappucino."
One of Dr. Carnesîr's favourite residents is 'Gord', a young park-dweller estimated at about twenty years of age.
"It's hard to tell exactly how old they are," he said. "Their ID, if they even have any, is usually fake. Gord's, for example, states that he is a 57-year-old black woman named 'Loretta'. We are almost certain that this is untrue," said Dr. Sabhin, giving a playful tug on Gord's long dreadlocks.
"Me wild and untameable," grunted Gord. "Don't try to box me in, man."
Although many of the park's residents are genuine feral humans, Dr. Carnesîr feels that some of the humans people encounter are really just homeless individuals who choose to live in the park. Feral humans are often confused with rebellious teenage eldar because of their grunting and incomprehensible speech.
"Oh, they try to look menacing, crouching and raising their 'hackles' to passers-by," said Dr. Carnesîr. "But it's an act, one they find more successful for fund-raising than traditional panhandling."
Dr. Carnesîr concluded that neither the feral humans nor the homeless elder were a threat to the sindar, and that the rabid appearances were only the result of consuming carbonated beverages and discarded lattés.
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – NEWS FROM THE FRONTAL LOBOTOMY OF SOCIAL ENGINEERING
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg