Wombat News
26-11-2003, 18:00
Amerigo City, Wombat News
The day opened with the NationStates Stock Exchange plummeting 600 points, but still well above 9000. Amerigo had the sympathy of the entire world and truckloads of unspent political capital. Steroid use in baseball was still just an ugly rumour. Parents trusted their children in the care of priests and handymen. Granny Slag's failure was an aberration, an exception that proved the rule of ethical corporate accounting. 25 January 2003 may not seem like Amerigo's golden age - until you compare it with the scenario eleven months later. Now, a new restaurant called simply 25/01/03 opens this week and is sure to become Amerigo’s new hotspot.
Waiters and waitresses solemnly address the customers with "how are you doing?" and "are you holding up okay?" as they hand out menus. Televisions scattered throughout the establishment play period news stories and snippets from the star-studded “Opiates for the Masses” celebrity telethon.
25/01/03 serves a wide variety of entrées including the Patriot Pitta Bread [with red pepperonis, white cheese, and blue corn chips] and a "Together We Eat" double chocolate fudge dessert.
More important than the food, patrons seem to enjoy conversing with their servers ignorant of the past ten months:
"Once we get rid of that Damien Dreadfire guy, everything will be okay. Give Menelmacar about three orbits, and this will all be over."
"I'm sure Granny Slag’s will pull out of this slump. They have the most talented executive team on the planet."
"This is my second job. I'm working to pay for private Catholic school for my four sons."
"I'm putting all my money in stocks. Take a gander at the numbers, it sure looks like a buyers market to me."
While most people may not be aware of the regulation, new restaurants are required by law to hold a nightly "event" to tie their theme together. Each night at nine o'clock, patrons and staff recite the Pledge of Subservience in its entirety without a hint of cynicism.
Why 25 January? Why not September 11th or, hell, why not April 2003 during the heyday of the n00b boom? The restaurant's owners could not supply an answer interesting enough to quote, but a local psychologist with only a cursory knowledge of the story had plenty to say.
"On 25 January, the country was united in bondage, and the President enjoyed an approval rating that verged on idol worship," said Dr. Jane Fluffy. "As awful as it seems, it was a unique time in Amerigan history. People feel good about that. Feeling bad, that is."
So far, 25/01/03 looks poised for unparalleled success, boasting solid booking until late January of 2004. Clearly, the idea of escaping 26/11/03, at least for a little while, holds great appeal for NationStaters.
"That's the thing with comfort food," says Fluffy. "You get comfort and food."
Trend experts say the new eatery is only the most recent example of "extreme retro". Far beyond the early 80's retro of six months ago, extreme retro seeks to revere less obvious time periods. [Note: early 80's retro is so passé that 25/01/03 emulates it as part of its late 2003 ambiance.]
For example, a short-lived coffee-shop in Raevyn served only hot water and animal blood in hair-covered bowls as part of its Paleolithic theme. When it closed a few weeks later, another café opened up across the street, recalling the blissful early days of the original coffee shop.
As the string of angry letters to Wombat News indicates, not everyone is pleased with the concept behind 25/01/03. They say the idea is crass and disrespectful to those who died on that horrible day and that people should avoid the place on principle. Then again, a quick check of the reservations book reveals that none of those people were able to get tables until after the holidays.
The owners of 25/01/03 say that they aren't worried about the stiff odds against their success, hinting that their accountants will make sure the books look good for the investors no matter what.
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – NEWS FROM THE “THINGS WERE BETTER IN MY DAY” SIDE OF THE FENCE
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg
The day opened with the NationStates Stock Exchange plummeting 600 points, but still well above 9000. Amerigo had the sympathy of the entire world and truckloads of unspent political capital. Steroid use in baseball was still just an ugly rumour. Parents trusted their children in the care of priests and handymen. Granny Slag's failure was an aberration, an exception that proved the rule of ethical corporate accounting. 25 January 2003 may not seem like Amerigo's golden age - until you compare it with the scenario eleven months later. Now, a new restaurant called simply 25/01/03 opens this week and is sure to become Amerigo’s new hotspot.
Waiters and waitresses solemnly address the customers with "how are you doing?" and "are you holding up okay?" as they hand out menus. Televisions scattered throughout the establishment play period news stories and snippets from the star-studded “Opiates for the Masses” celebrity telethon.
25/01/03 serves a wide variety of entrées including the Patriot Pitta Bread [with red pepperonis, white cheese, and blue corn chips] and a "Together We Eat" double chocolate fudge dessert.
More important than the food, patrons seem to enjoy conversing with their servers ignorant of the past ten months:
"Once we get rid of that Damien Dreadfire guy, everything will be okay. Give Menelmacar about three orbits, and this will all be over."
"I'm sure Granny Slag’s will pull out of this slump. They have the most talented executive team on the planet."
"This is my second job. I'm working to pay for private Catholic school for my four sons."
"I'm putting all my money in stocks. Take a gander at the numbers, it sure looks like a buyers market to me."
While most people may not be aware of the regulation, new restaurants are required by law to hold a nightly "event" to tie their theme together. Each night at nine o'clock, patrons and staff recite the Pledge of Subservience in its entirety without a hint of cynicism.
Why 25 January? Why not September 11th or, hell, why not April 2003 during the heyday of the n00b boom? The restaurant's owners could not supply an answer interesting enough to quote, but a local psychologist with only a cursory knowledge of the story had plenty to say.
"On 25 January, the country was united in bondage, and the President enjoyed an approval rating that verged on idol worship," said Dr. Jane Fluffy. "As awful as it seems, it was a unique time in Amerigan history. People feel good about that. Feeling bad, that is."
So far, 25/01/03 looks poised for unparalleled success, boasting solid booking until late January of 2004. Clearly, the idea of escaping 26/11/03, at least for a little while, holds great appeal for NationStaters.
"That's the thing with comfort food," says Fluffy. "You get comfort and food."
Trend experts say the new eatery is only the most recent example of "extreme retro". Far beyond the early 80's retro of six months ago, extreme retro seeks to revere less obvious time periods. [Note: early 80's retro is so passé that 25/01/03 emulates it as part of its late 2003 ambiance.]
For example, a short-lived coffee-shop in Raevyn served only hot water and animal blood in hair-covered bowls as part of its Paleolithic theme. When it closed a few weeks later, another café opened up across the street, recalling the blissful early days of the original coffee shop.
As the string of angry letters to Wombat News indicates, not everyone is pleased with the concept behind 25/01/03. They say the idea is crass and disrespectful to those who died on that horrible day and that people should avoid the place on principle. Then again, a quick check of the reservations book reveals that none of those people were able to get tables until after the holidays.
The owners of 25/01/03 say that they aren't worried about the stiff odds against their success, hinting that their accountants will make sure the books look good for the investors no matter what.
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – NEWS FROM THE “THINGS WERE BETTER IN MY DAY” SIDE OF THE FENCE
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg