NationStates Jolt Archive

In an office in the penthouse of the tallest skyscraper of Vegana City a man with watercombed hair watched his computerscreen in disbelief. Jordan Gekko had been a commodity broker for almost 20 years, he had traded in Coffee, in iron, even in plutonium but he never had seen a vacuuming being done on a market that matched this. Several large nations had obviously stockpiled cardboard and now the cardboard prices had risen more than 347% in the last few days. A few cardboard producing nations had harvested their entire amount of rainforest just to keep up with the pace on the market.

Gekko had a plan, he had massed cardboard for quite some while now after he had seen the fleets of several nations being built. The world had never before seen such large ships and it had to take great amount of cardboard to keep up those. Gekko had even tried a genetic cardboard tree on which he could grow cardboard of lower quality and sell to the various nations that needed to keep up in the spacerace.

Unfortunately for Gekko, Tahar Joblis was about to release a new export, a seaweed based cardboard substitute dubbed "Koard," superior in many ways to traditional cardboard; the first bargeloads of Koard were preparing even now to arrive at port in harbors around the world.

This was, naturally, part of a Tahar Joblissan plot to undermine the capitalists of the world. 8)

Argghhh! You mean people have more space ships then I have in my small fleet? Time to stock up on cardboard so I can scare them away... talking about scare, I think it's time to boost the Hay market, Iuthia wants to build the worlds biggest scarecrow to scare away horrible space nations with 57489593 ships.

Here that small nations?!!!1!! Iuthia wants HAY!!!11!!

Damn... I need to change to decaf...

Don't stock up on cardboard... use Koard! Made from seaweed fibers, Koard has superior endurance and structural capacity to ordinary cardboard, and comes in eight different shades of red, brown, and green!

Short on hay? Use corrugated Koard strips! The perfect hay substitute for all your giant scarecrow needs!

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Godmodding n00b requires a near steady supply of cardboard for its various projects, and since the ubber super dreadnaught "Godmod" was constructed, the first godmodding ship to not be made of cardboard *It was a bunch of bathtubs roped together* we find ourselves low on cash and require a cheap alternative to bathtubs, but somehitng stronger than the cardboard we are so used to. Perhaps we could work out a trade agreement, say some of our Godmodding n00b WMD (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=83130&start=0) in return for your Kord and Cardboard.

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Gekko checked his updated new forum. Damn! There was a new player on the market! And selling at lower prices, what the heck? Someone sold something called Koard. This must be fought, mr. Gekko immediately lifted the phone and called up some Alfa Delta Delta Chaps that now a days worked at the news agencies.


Independent News Agency (INA) News Bulletin

Completely independent scientists today declared the new substance Koard as unfit for using in space vessels. The neutral and distinguished Expert Roger Wilco explains:

"Since Koard is made out of seaweed, and seaweed is a plant as we all know it completely disintegrates at a random time in space. We have made several objective tests with Koard in our spacelabs and Koard has numerous time just disintegrated, especially in critical moments. We would recommend those that have required Koard to burn it immediately and try the traditional Cardboard instead."

I knew i should have held onto that stockpile :(

Desty Nova sat at his desk, looking out of the window of the 666th floor of the Mad Scientists Conference (MSC) Skyscraper in Mönchengladbach.

This wasn´t good.

The Cardboard prices were up, horribly up.

Of course, the MSC had more than enough money, but... after creating the sound- based communication system for interstellar travel, they were a bit short of money. Unfortunately and unexpectedly, the new communication system didn´t sell as well as they had thought it would.

And now, their project to build a second earth out of cardboard was endangered.

He watched down, his cardboard penis extension (He hated the all- present 'Steel Penises' and preferred Cardboard) couldn´t cover his decrease of... faith.

Perhaps they should buy from Tahar Joblis...

The Federation's AN MILLYEN HUNDERD cardboard spacecraft, meanwhile, were decimated when someone left them out in the rain.