Oglethorpia
22-11-2003, 20:01
The Bureaucratic Tribune
UN perpetrates half-truths
Latest UN report publishes lies!
By Dwight Hamilton
OGLETHORPIA (BT) -- Oglethorpian President Sam Hedland addressed a crowd of Oglethorpians and press alike in Tripoli, Maracaibo today.
"My fellow Oglethorpians," began the man in his early fourties, "it has come to my attention that the United Nations has stated that we reportedly eat our beloved national animal, the 'Giant Squid,' or as the scientists say, 'architeuthis dux.'"
"Well, I say that they speak lies! First, we would never eat such a noble creature of the deep. And second, we have never secured a live one; and no Oglethorpian -- no civilized Oglethorpian would eat one of them that washed up on our shores."
"So I am here today to speak the truth; that Oglethorpia does not eat it's Giant Squid. Thank you."
Oglethorpians aren't sure why the UN would classify Oglethorpia as eating it's national animal. "Man, that's crazy. We don't even eat the small squid, much less the huge ship-crushing ones that roam the seas," said one man on the street.
Oglethorpian government officials are working frantically to remedy the problem, and possibly reverse the embarassing classification of being national-animal-eaters.
"We've got it narrowed down to one thing," said one Oglethorpian government analyst. "We may be able to remedy it through things called 'issues,' but I guess we'll see if it works or not."
---
OOC:
I have never gotten the eating-national-animals issue a second time; and as such, my nation is stuck as eating it's national animal.
Oh well, my fault I guess.
UN perpetrates half-truths
Latest UN report publishes lies!
By Dwight Hamilton
OGLETHORPIA (BT) -- Oglethorpian President Sam Hedland addressed a crowd of Oglethorpians and press alike in Tripoli, Maracaibo today.
"My fellow Oglethorpians," began the man in his early fourties, "it has come to my attention that the United Nations has stated that we reportedly eat our beloved national animal, the 'Giant Squid,' or as the scientists say, 'architeuthis dux.'"
"Well, I say that they speak lies! First, we would never eat such a noble creature of the deep. And second, we have never secured a live one; and no Oglethorpian -- no civilized Oglethorpian would eat one of them that washed up on our shores."
"So I am here today to speak the truth; that Oglethorpia does not eat it's Giant Squid. Thank you."
Oglethorpians aren't sure why the UN would classify Oglethorpia as eating it's national animal. "Man, that's crazy. We don't even eat the small squid, much less the huge ship-crushing ones that roam the seas," said one man on the street.
Oglethorpian government officials are working frantically to remedy the problem, and possibly reverse the embarassing classification of being national-animal-eaters.
"We've got it narrowed down to one thing," said one Oglethorpian government analyst. "We may be able to remedy it through things called 'issues,' but I guess we'll see if it works or not."
---
OOC:
I have never gotten the eating-national-animals issue a second time; and as such, my nation is stuck as eating it's national animal.
Oh well, my fault I guess.