NationStates Jolt Archive


Lunatic Retard Robots
19-11-2003, 02:55
At Lunkwill & Fook industries, you can expect only the best and highest-quality products anywhere!!!!

We offer a wide selection of products to choose from, and have something to cater to your every need.

Duct Tape

Yes, duct tape. A fundamental part of anyone's arsenal.

Comes in:

Reflective Silver

Cost: 5.00 USD/Roll (six-in radius)

A bonus! Duct tape suits! Free with every 50 rolls you buy!

Duct Tape Apparel

Your standard duct tape vest. Pieces of tape sticky-side up allow the wearer to carry a near infinite amount of objects weighing less than .8oz.

One size fits all.

Cost: 10.00 USD

Duct tape hat. Adjustable fit. Goes great with the vest.

Cost: 2.50 USD

Electrical Tape

Perfect for making your electronics all neat and easy to work with.

Cost: 1.50 USD

Solder Spools

Cost: 2.50 USD

Pink (Green/Blue/White/Invisible) Motherboards!!!!!


Cost: 3.00 USD

Your Very Own Borg Cube!!!!!!!!!

Your very own borg cube! Good things?



Cost: 500 Billion USD (Comes with free air freshener and certificate of authenticity.)

The C-1 Planetary Exploratory craft!!!!!!!!!

The C-1 is a very capable craft, good for independent missions or for deployment from larger ships or bases. It can carry all the elements for a five-man crew to survive indefinately, and any number between 10-15 to survive for around six years. It can be equipped with two small, or one large rover as well. Many of these craft can be docked with a hyperspace platform, which allows large numbers of these craft to travel long distances via hyperspace. It is built to be the first permanent elements of a colony or building project, but may be recycled if necessary.

Cost: 50 million USD

A hyperspace platform launching a C-2 Planetary Explorer craft.

Hyperspace platform-

Cost: 1 Billion USD

(Works for the Orlyonok too.)

The Nasty Surprise class gun platform!!!!!!

has been dropped on The Attican Empire. He he he. Whatever.

The "Satellite of Love" colony kit!!!!!!

The SoL is an excellent colony kit. It comes with:

1x Habitation module, 600m half-sphere
3x Greenhouse modules, 450m by 10m elongated dome structures
5x Solar Cells, 100m area, fold up, mobile and easily positioned
Your choice of Laboratory modules, each is 50m by 6m flattened square.

The hab bodule is contained in a box the size of a regular dumpster, and grows out, built by armies of micromachines. (Nanomachines are too small, they would take too long to build.)
The greenhouse modules are contained in boxes about the size of an average colset, the solar cells fold up to fit in a dumpster-sized box each.
The Laboratory modules are contained in boxes roughly the size of a computer monitor.

Cost: 2.5 Billion USD
(Add 10 million for each new lab module)

Buena Vista Social Club CD!!!!!!!!

"The best music I've heard since the Talking Heads," says LRR's creator (RL)

1. Chan Chan*
2. De Camino a La Vereda*
3. El Cuarto de Tula*
4. Pueblo Nuevo*
5. Dos Gardenias*
6. Y Tu Que Has Hecho?*
7. Veinte Anos*
8. El Carretero*
9. Candela*
10. Amor de Loca Juventud*
11. Orgullecida*
12. Murmullo*
13. Buena Vista Social Club*
14. La Bayamesa*

*=really good song

This CD is excellent to listen to in the depths of space, or on some remote base. It brings the feel of home, as well as good and calming music.

Cost: 10.00 USD

The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams!!!!!

This is an excellent book! One of the best! It is essential for every ship's library! It is uplifting in times of crisis, and reminds your crews of the rest of the universe.

Cost: 5.00 USD (Free with each Buena Vista Social Club CD)

I, Robot, By Isaac Asimov!!!!!!!!!!

A very good book!

Cost: 5.00 USD

Eh. That's it fer now.

Have a nice day.

........Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.