Chosen Four constitutional convention
The Grand Duke of I-rey as presiding member of this convention and founder of the Chosen four doth hereby open this constitutional convention on Moonsday, November the seventeenth, in the year of our gourd, two thousand and three, Anno Domini (after jeebus). The first issue up for debate shall be the division of power between the three original countries. I-rey's position on the matter is that this region should consider the writings of the French philosopher, Montesquieu, and Divide the international ruling body into three branches, executive, legislative, and judicial. One nation will control each branch thus dividing power and allowing a majority of two thirds, no matter which branches they are, to overrule any descision made by a third. It is proposed that the branches are divided up as follows:
>I-rey as executive branch (dimplomacy, signs bills into laws, etc.)
>Scaraba as legislative branch (drafts bills, makes changes/amendments, etc.)
>Darkvale as judicial branch (interprets/enforces laws, defines political stances on issues)
This proposal is now open to debate.
You make a fine proposal, except the regional nomenclature of "The Chosen Four" implies that there will be, indeed, four nations. Colin Englesberg has expressed interest in joining our region, and would feel, shall we say, left out if he did not have a seat of authority. How can we rectify this situation?
Lonely in Scaraba
I am aware that the great nation of Ta Chuang was not one of the original three founders, and so therefore I can not demand an equal share of power, I can only make subtle threats. However, if the Chosen Four is to truly be a governing body of four, as the honorable Scaraba graciously suggested, it would make sense to have the power equally divided between our four mighty nations. Thus I suggest implementing the well known power structure of an executive branch, a judicial branch, and a legislative branch with two houses each assisting in the drafting and ammending of bills and such. In the case of a 2-2 tie on any issue, the side that the executive branch was on would win.
Since there are four nations in the Chosen Four, but only three branches of government, couldn't the U.N. Delegate seat be filled by someone, and the executive, legislative, and judicial filled by the other three. This way, veto power could be given to the U.N. Delegate, and the other three branches could carry out their functions.
The Grand Duchy of I-rey recognizes the right of the Armed Republic of Ta Chuang to have a hand in the synthesis of our contsitution once it is incorporated into The Chosen Four. As of this post, however, I-rey has yet to see Ta Chuang listen in our glorious region.
Addressing the issue of division of power, the Grand Duke of I-rey will ask members present to vote on the issue. Ta Chuang and Scaraba each put forth very compelling arguements, but I-rey wishes to place its formal support with Ta Chuang's proposal. The reason is that the executive branch would be nothing but a figurehead without the power of veto. The Grand Duke belives that we could benefit gratly from a bicameral (2 house) legislature.
I-rey will now call forth the first vote on the governing document of the Chosen Four. This vote and all future votes shall be conducted in this manner:
-Voting will be open for 48 hours or until all delegates have voted
-Vote by replying to the message. (you have to type the letter a buch of times to reach the minimus word count)
-If at least two countries do not vote or vote to postpone a vote for further debate, the vote shall be postponed for further debate. (whew!)
-One a motion or proposal passes a vote, it will become supreme law.
-In the event of a tie, issue will be debated for at least 24 more hours.
Preet! Proot!
Proposition CF 1
Issue: I-rey's proposal on the seperation of powers and voting on key issues.
A: I agree to this and the four powers proposal of Ta Chuang (bicameral legislature)
B: I agree to this and the four powers proposal of Scaraba (UN delegate)
C: I disagree with one or all of the aforementioned proposals and with to debate this issue further!
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Although technically my vote is meaningless, I will still vote. A. Okay, since that has been unofficially decided, we have our next pressing issue. Who shall be placed in which position? And before we decide that, we had beter define the particular responsibilities, duties, and powers of each office, as well as supplying each with a suitably awesome name. Here are a few suggestions, which are by no means the Tribal Chiefs final decisions.
Executive: Supreme Emperor of the Chosen Four. His powers would include the veto powers already mentioned.
Judicial: Infinitely Wise Sage and Most High Chief Judge of the Chosen Four. His powers would be similar to the Supreme Court of the crappy ol' USA.
Legislative 1: House of the Wolverine.
Legislative 2: House of 1000 Corpses. Okay, so the two Legislaive names need some work. They would have basically the same powers. A member of the Chosen Four (I'm assuming that we will recruit more people and swell our ranks eventually) can propose a law or addition to the Constitution. We can divide the two Houses up by what sort of laws they consider. Then, whichever House claims responsibility for that bill, would read over the proposed law, studying it for loopholes or possible abuses. Then, the two Houses discuss and make a decision. If the bill fails to pass, the original House can revise it with the help of the bill's sponsor and try to make it more suitable for the rest of the Chosen Four. The bill would then again be addressed by both Houses, this time with the Executive and Judicial branches taking part as well. If it fails to pass again, then the particular house and the bill's sponsor can choose to either let it drop or try to reform it once again, then the Four branches would vote again, and if it fails again, the bill would be dropped.
Also, please try to keep your messages as free from grammatical and spelling errors as possible. This will help prevent confusion when we are getting into particulars of laws. This means you, Duke.
I agree wholeheartedly with the division of power put forth by the great nation of Darkvale. However, the two houses of legislature (along with needing new names) need specific functions. For example, one house could deal exclusively with external affairs and one with internal. Alternatively, one house could draft legislature dealing with social issues and the other could handle economic issues. There are infinite possibilities. If any other nation has a suggestion of the division of power (or ideas for names of legislative bodies) then by all means, share! By the way, I agree with Darkvale FULLY on the issue of spelling and grammar mistakes. Ayyyyy!
Ahh, yes. Spelling. My Achilles heel. Any who, the Grand Dude (as he is now known) would like to point out that when an issue is ratified by a majority of nations in The Chosen Four, it passes onto the constitution and thus becomes supreme law. Yes, Darkvale, the proposal has, in fact, been "officially" decided upon. The Dude will also point out that according to the first proposal (CF 1), the branches have already been assigned to different countries. Because some nations obviously did not thoroughly read the proposal they were voting for, I-rey is willing (if called upon) to posthumously cut that section of the proposal thus leaving the four branches of government open to redistribution.
Dy-no-MITE!
I would be satisfied with the original power division, with the addendum of Ta Chuang to the second hiz'a of legislature. A vote should be held tomorrow, that is, November 21, 2003. Same rules as last time.
Sneeee-oooosh!
Ta Chuang officially concurs with the proposed distribution of power by Scaraba
There is no need for a vote, because according to proposition CF-1, Ta Chuang is already included in the bicameral legislature. As for Darkvale's proposed solution to lawmaking, the Grand Dude will propose the following amendments:
-The legislative houses will draft the bill until it is agreed on by both as described in Darkvale's proposition but then it will only need the approval of the chief executive for it to become a law (as in the "crappy ol' USA")
-There will be no pocket vetoes as the legislative houses are perpetually in session, and if the chief executive does not pass or veto the bill within 48 hours, it becomes a law
-Once a bill becomes a law, the High Court of the Judicial branch will examine it to ensure its constitutionality. (once the constitution is finished, that is)
END OF LINE_
That certainly sounds fine to the Sultan.
Now that we have apparently decided who fills what position, here is the first draft of the first Article:
"Article 1: The Divine Committee of the Chosen Four Region
The Chosen Four Region shall be led by a four part government, known as the Divine Committee. These parts are as follows:
Supreme Emperor: The nation filling this position has the power to approve or veto laws drafted by the Legislative branches. If the SE fails to address a law within 48 hours of it being officially proposed to him, it automatically passes. In the case of a 2-2 tie on any issue, law, or bill voted on by the Chosen Four, the SE makes the final decision, except in the drafting of laws.
Infinitely Wise Sage: After a law has been passed, the IWS reviews it to make sure it is kosher with the Constitution. The IWS also has the responsibility to monitor member nations and make sure they follow the laws.
House 1: This legislative house is responsible for drafting laws concerning the following topics: Business and corporation, military/national security, law enforcement, foreign affairs.
House 2: This legislative house is responsible for drafting laws concerning the following topics: environmental, civil/human rights, education, housing.
The process of making a law: a member nation proposes a law to the House that deals with that particular area of law. The Sponsoring House, working with the proposing nation, then draft a bill that satisfies both the Sponsoring House and the Proposer. The law is then discussed between the two Houses. If the bill fails to pass, as in the other House disagrees, the Proposer and Sponsoring House can then revise the bill, making any changes suggested by the other House or that they see fit. The bill is then shown to the entire Chosen Four Divine Committee, which votes on the bill. If the CFDC is locked in a 2-2 tie, the Sponsoring House makes the final decision. Remember that the Supreme Emperor still has veto power after a bill is passed. If the bill again fails to pass, the Sponsoring House and Proposing Nation can discuss and revise it a final time. The bill is then presented to the CFDC and put to a vote, identical to the process used the second time the bill was put to a vote. If it again fails to pass, it is Highly Reccommended that the Sponsoring House and Proposing Nation let it drop, lest they face the Unholy Wrath of Annoyance for the other members of the Chosen Four Divine Committee.
"
Article 1 is still very open to revision in both wording and content. Thank you for your time, and one final thought. It is unclear as to whether a o/pcr is traditional at the end of Forum messages as well as Lodges. I put this to a vote. In the mean time, chika-chikaa.
All lodges in the Chosen Four message lodger and exclusive Chosen Four forums are to contain, at the very end, an onomatopoetia/pop culture reference. ALL lodges are to contain this, except for short (less than a full paragraph) briefs. If a lodge is followed by an o/pcr that is deemed unacceptable by any member of the Chosen Four, the offended party must motion for "Suck Balls" within twenty four hours. If passed by a two-thirds majority (offending nation abstaining), the motion carries and the offending nation is subject to one week of unprovoked verbal abuse, and the accusing nation gets to decide the next issue that comes up in the offending region. And the offender must TAKE IT LIKE A MAAAAAN!
This is the "Suck Balls" proposal as it stands.
Pocket sand!
House 1: This legislative house is responsible for drafting laws concerning the following topics: Business and corporation, military/national security, law enforcement, foreign affairs.
House 2: This legislative house is responsible for drafting laws concerning the following topics: environmental, civil/human rights, education, housing.
The topics proposed by The Big Chief for regional legislature should be purely domestic affairs. Each nation should decide these things for their own selves by deciding on issues that arrive daily. The only topics, in the opinion of the grand and exhalted Sultan, that should be covered by the legislative houses should involve regional etiquette, foreign policy, trade agreements, and alliances, as well as anything that affects the entire region. If any other nations have additions to this list, please slap 'em up on this here forum. You're totally gay!
After much deliberation, the Tribal Chiefs agree with Scaraba on the issue of the law-making powers of the legislative branches. As a possible solution to the power struggle between the two legislative Houses, one house could deal with etiquette and behavioral laws between Chosen Four nations, while the other could handle laws dictating the international diplomacy between members of the Chosen Four and non-member nations. b-dee, b-dee, that's all folks.
The Dude, after reviewing article 1 of the constitution as drafted by the Big Chief on Campus in his private study, would like to ask for a few clarifications and amendments. Under the obligations of the SE, it says they will brake a 2-2 tie in a vote, but under the section on lawmaking it says that the Sponsoring House breaks a tie. Lé Dudé believes that it would be the executive branch that would break a tie as in any bicameral legislature. The Dude sees that the rules for legislation seem very complex and puts forth the following proposition:
Once a bill is proposed by the Sponsoring House, it is voted upon by the entire CFDC, but each branch must vote according to its obligations.
-The houses will vote by how well the bill represents their constituents in their areas of expertise.
-The SE will vote by how the bill will affect the region as a whole and its international relations. (In the case of a tie, the side with the SE wins)
-The IWS will vote by whether the bill complies with the constitution.
-The SE will retain the veto power, but as the only case it could be used is when all the other branches are against him, he will use it sparingly because he could take much verbal abuse from the nations whom he pegged in the rear hole.
This system will only work if the CFDC puts aside personal biases and vote based on their duties.
In response the the Sultan's protest of the CFDC meddling in domestic affairs, Der Düde will state that the CFDC will operate much like the UN, and will only pass resolutions that benefit the region and make us more powerful as a whole, even if it must interfere with domestic policies. Of course, nations can chose to ignore CFDC laws (unlike the UN) and are allowed to do so as long as they don't get caught by the IWS. If they are, they face an automatic SUCK BALLS and a month in the harem (and any other sweet penalties decided upon by the CFDC).
Ah, yes, the long awaited SUCK BALLS preposition. If it is passed, it will take effect immediately and will automatically be added to the regional etiquette article of the constitution when it is opened for debate. A vote is hereby called to pass SUCK BALLS legislation into law.
Proposition CF-2
All those in favor of Scaraba's SUCK BALLS proposal as outlined in the "pocket sand" post by the Sultan say AYE!
All those opposed, say NAY!
All those who want to (math) debate this issue further, say GAY!
Polls will close at exactly 4:51 pm on Friday, November 28, or when a majority is reached.
...would you say he's STRAPPIN big?
-The houses will vote by how well the bill represents their constituents in their areas of expertise.
Duder, please 'splain what you mean by representing constituents in their areas of expertise, as the Grand Exhalted Sultan's brain is clouded with substances and exhaustion.
In response the the Sultan's protest of the CFDC meddling in domestic affairs, Der Düde will state that the CFDC will operate much like the UN, and will only pass resolutions that benefit the region and make us more powerful as a whole, even if it must interfere with domestic policies. Of course, nations can chose to ignore CFDC laws (unlike the UN) and are allowed to do so as long as they don't get caught by the IWS. If they are, they face an automatic SUCK BALLS and a month in the harem (and any other sweet penalties decided upon by the CFDC).
This is a decent compromise, in my regal opinion, but the harem term length should instead be one week. As for the vote, the Sultan casts his vote: a resounding AYE AYE, CAPTAIN! Doo-n-doo-doo, feelin' groovy!
AYE!, and AYE to shortening the harem period to one week.
As for the Sultan's quetion about the two houes, the "areas of expertise" refer to the specializations described in Darkvale's draft of article 1. They would do their best to represent the coutries of the region in these specific areas.
Cowabunga!
[code:1:f5d4edff46]Message from President Ross of Sliponia:
Hello all, just making sure we are all agreed upon the articles of the One World Alliance...[/code:1:f5d4edff46]
AYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAEYAAEYYYYYYYYYYYAEYAEA
what this whole harem thang about? Sorry, but I've been taking a Bushesque vacation from the governing of my nation, and have been visiting my animals back at the ranch. Hopefully my absence will be excused and someone will straighten me out on the subject. YABADABADOO!
what this whole harem thang about? Sorry, but I've been taking a Bushesque vacation from the governing of my nation, and have been visiting my animals back at the ranch. Hopefully my absence will be excused and someone will straighten me out on the subject. YABADABADOO!
Ask Scaraba.
Sliponia, you bast. Get the crast. Outta he-ah.
I hereby declare a rogue Suck Balls and Breach of Etiquette on I-rey for his flagrant and outrageous spelling errors in his last post. If I didn't know better, I would think that some sort of highly-educated-but-bad-at-spelling monkey had written it. In fact, the spelling errors were so blasphemous and reakful that I couldn't even comprehend a single word in the Dude's message. So Suck Balls, I-rey, and Suck balls like the day is long.
As for the proposed amendment to my system of legislation, it seems that if the different members of the CFDC are compelled to vote by their position, there is no need for voting at all. If we can't use our judgement and personal bias, then we might as well build complicated voting robots to vote for us so we don't have to bother typing in "Aye" or "nay" as our particular position demands. Wikkety-wack, Death, get in this sack.
The Sultan agrees heartily with the Chiefy-poo's statement that we should let our judgement and personal bias take precedence in votes. What would a political system be without idealistic voting procedures being corrupted by personal preference? Petty feuds and other such matters should also contribute to the outcome of a vote, just for added hilarity. While we're on the subject, what of the other members of our great region, Dootsie and Komdor? How will these and other nations that may join our hallowed ranks vote on proposals? Methinks one nation, one vote would be a great system, but the Sultan would like to hear your ideas. I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!
Oh, ho! So the other nations resent the Dude's totally awesome proposal, huh? As desperate circumstances require desperate action, the Dude has but one course of action he must take. He will smoke a blunt, agree with the other nations, and forget what he was talking about. He also disagrees with the 1 nation=1 vote system. The CFDC are the supreme leaders of the Chosen Four. I think we will agree that most nations in the game seem barely capable of governing themselves. It is the Dude's belief that the CFDC's innumerable wisdom and sperm count can prevail over any crisis that faces the region. Including an invasion of the giant crabs from Dootsie's pubes.
The Holy Dooderama will remind the Tribal Queefs of Darkvale that horrible speeling and not well grammar!?> are hardly Suck Balls material. It is true that the Dude's spelling errors are horrendous and number in the thousands, and he may occasionally let his highly-educated-but-bad-at-spelling monkey do his political negotiating, butt the Tribal Chiefs should quit being such anal (loving and retentive) nazis.
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree. How would you look with glasses?
As desperate circumstances require desperate action, the Dude has but one course of action he must take. He will smoke a blunt, agree with the other nations, and forget what he was talking about.
It is the Dude's belief that the CFDC's innumerable wisdom and sperm count can prevail over any crisis that faces the region. Including an invasion of the giant crabs from Dootsie's pubes.
The Holy Dooderama will remind the Tribal Queefs of Darkvale that horrible speeling and not well grammar!?> are hardly Suck Balls material. It is true that the Dude's spelling errors are horrendous and number in the thousands, and he may occasionally let his highly-educated-but-bad-at-spelling monkey do his political negotiating, butt the Tribal Chiefs should quit being such anal (loving and retentive) nazis.
BRAVO, Doober! You deserve special commendation on your well-put, well-reasoned, and well-hung arguments (and insults). The Sultan hereby awards you with the Scarabian Medal of Slack. It comes with matching slacks. You certainly deserve them. Andale andale, arriba arriba!
The people of Dootsie would thank I-rey for his honesty: indeed, our crabs have been threatening mutiny against his mother for quite some time. They report that the odor is so unbearable that they can barely function in lieu of the atrocities under-leg. However, they do send their regards for his policies, and would like to note that many of these proposals are shaping up nicely, just like I-rey’s nose following that incident last week with someone’s rear.
Relaying a comment from the other message board posted by myself, I would like to reiterate my concerns for our foreign policies. Without adequate representation in the UN (even if they suck llamas), our region may be overlooked. It can hardly be said that some representation would be an awful thing. The way the system is devised, it would be foolish for the CF to refuse our own delegate our endorsements. The people of Dootsie have yet to devise a provision that would give Darkvale the power that he so fervently craves (you can tell by the odd twitch of his bloodshot eyes/bollocks), but I feel that it might be necessary. Even if the UN does suck. Llamas.
Perhaps it would remain optional, but be heavily encouraged? Foreign policy is unavoidable. Shall we "walk softly and carry a big stick", or shall we "huddle in a corner, sucking our pansy thumbs"?
LimoZeen rules the Thanksgiving table.
Touché, Doots, touché. After being verbally smacked down (by a female nonetheless), the Dude bows to Dootski's multi talented tongue. As the majority of the CF's burns are peen-based, the other nations will have to settle on making fun of Dootsie's dink envy, or possibly her doggish good looks. A n y w a y....
To get this here constitutional convention back on track, the Dude himself has drafted a version of article I (basically, he copied the Tribal Chief's draft and changed a few words). And here it be:
Article 1: The Divine Committee of The Chosen Four
The Chosen Four Region shall be led by a four branch government, known as the Chosen Four Divine Committee (CFDC). These branches are organized as follows:
Supreme Emperor: The nation filling this position has the power to approve or veto laws drafted by the Legislative branches. If the SE fails to address a law within 48 hours of it being officially proposed to him, it automatically passes if it has 2 or more votes. In the case of a 2-2 tie on any issue, law, or bill voted on by the Chosen Four, the SE makes the final decision.
Infinitely Wise Sage: After a law has been passed, the IWS reviews it to make sure it is kosher with the Constitution. The IWS also has the responsibility to monitor member nations and make sure they follow the laws.
Parliament Funkadelic: This legislative house is responsible for drafting laws concerning the following topics: Business and corporation, military/national security, law enforcement, foreign affairs.
Mothership Connection: This legislative house is responsible for drafting laws concerning the following topics: environmental, civil/human rights, education, housing.
The process of making a law: A member nation proposes a law to the House that deals with that particular area of law. The Sponsoring House, working with the proposing nation, then draft a bill that satisfies both the Sponsoring House and the Proposer. The law is then discussed between the two Houses to decide if the bill has enough support among the member nations to call a vote. At least 25% of member nations must endorse a bill before it goes to vote (to protect member nations from tyranny, you see). The bill then goes before the entire Chosen Four Divine Committee, which votes on the bill. The SE will officially call the vote when the bill is ready and the CFDC will have 48 hours to make their decision. If the CFDC is locked in a 2-2 tie, the SE makes the final decision by either signing the bill or vetoing it. The veto may only be used in the case of a 2-2 tie. And yes, personal biases and feuds may influence any member of the CFDC's actions.
Questions? Comments? Philosophical statements?
We are losing the war on drugs. That means the drug people are winning. What does that tell you about the drug people?
Very, very nice.
Being a lesser nation in this region, the republic of Dootsie would like to question where fit into all this. Are we given a seat in the legislature? Do we have no say at all? Are our comments concerning the Constitution not even to be addressed? I am a voice for the minority! Don't hate, tolerate (the lack of penii.) Really, I'm just wanting everything to be 100% clear, in-writing. That way any new nations that might come along automatically know the way things are done.
Also, I request a provision for holidays/possible aways. You might run into problems with houses going on extended leaves without notice, so there should be some failsafe.
If this is dumb, feel free to tell me I need to go back to washing dishes. I'll understand, and insult your mother to no end.
Wiccki wiccki
The process of making a law: A member nation proposes a law to the House that deals with that particular area of law. The Sponsoring House, working with the proposing nation, then draft a bill that satisfies both the Sponsoring House and the Proposer. The law is then discussed between the two Houses to decide if the bill has enough support among the member nations to call a vote. At least 25% of member nations must endorse a bill before it goes to vote (to protect member nations from tyranny, you see). The bill then goes before the entire Chosen Four Divine Committee, which votes on the bill. The SE will officially call the vote when the bill is ready and the CFDC will have 48 hours to make their decision. If the CFDC is locked in a 2-2 tie, the SE makes the final decision by either signing the bill or vetoing it. The veto may only be used in the case of a 2-2 tie. And yes, personal biases and feuds may influence any member of the CFDC's actions.?
This chunk 'o' text describes in lip-smacking politicized language how member nations must vote on laws, and are enabled to propose laws. Also, in the future, new positions in government may open. Now, before you go whining about lack of representation, read the constitution and make me a pie! D'oh! A deer! A female deer!
The Dude understands Dootsie's concern for political freedom in The Chosen Four but maintains that all final decisions are made by the CFDC in the best interests of the region. When it comes to new laws, member nations do not directly vote, but they endorse a bill if they want it to pass. If any nations have questions, comments, or major beefs with new bills, they can speak directly with the CFDC and they WILL listen. As it so happens, the CFDC see each other in person on almost a daily basis and thus are able to effectively coordinate leadership strategies. Also, don't think of yourself as a "lesser" nation, only as a chunk of gold amidst bar of platinum. As for the vacation issue, Dudeley Dude-Right has written an addition to article I, and it goes a little something like this:
When a member of the CFDC wishes to take a Bushesque vacation from governing duties, he shall appoint another nation to fill in while he is gone. The temporary counsel member will be able to vote on issues and carry out the normal tasks required by the position, but will not be able to propose, create, suggest, veto, approve, or enact any propositions, bills, treaties, resolutions, amendments, etc. If a nation is filling in for the SE and a vote is tied at 2-2, it remains on the voting floor until the real SE returns. At any time, the four members of the CFDC may meet and decide to suspend the governing of the region for a specified time period during which there will be no political activity. If the one member of the CFDC is absent without explanation for at least one week, he may be replaced. If the entire CFDC is gone for more than a week with no official statement, the member nations have the right to revolt and form a new government.
My name is Mud, not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis my name is Mud.
That's fine with the Salt-an (Pepper).
The people of Dootsie give a resounding thumbs up, Harry.
Dootsie, wash my soiled undawears. But your comments (two posts back) were not entirely dumb. The Serfs of the Chosen Four Region don't really deserve representation, but we're nice enough to give them an alternative. The Serfs can argue and debate and persuade members of the CFDC to their hearts' content. Alternatively, a Serf can insult a CFDC member so viciously that his fragile self-esteem is shattered and he never shows his face 'round these parts again.
As for the Bushesque vacations spoken of by I-rey, I have a variation to make. Instead of appointing a substitute, the vacationing nationing should declare his future vacation beforehand. If he will only be gone for a few days (say, up to 10 days), then political activity should be halted. Once we get the Constitution of Supreme Awesome Chastisement (as I affectionately call it as I stroke its hair at night) completed, political activity will slow down and vicious slandering will increase fice-fold. If the CFDC member is gone for an extended period, then he should choose a voting substitute.
Yet another thing to say by me. Wait, can't remember. Oh yeah. . . nope, not it. Oh yeah (for realz this tyme). I have an entire beef with the division of responsibilities in the two houses. Since there be no way of enforcing or even utilizing laws dealing with domestic issues (such as law enforcement, environmental, etc.), the powers of the Houses should instead be based on something different. The purpose of the Constitution is to give etiquette and behavior laws to the rulers of the nations of the Chosen Four, not to the pitiful and expendable subjects of their mighty nations. So the responsibilities of the Houses should be something different, but I can't think of what exactly right now.
One (hopefully) final thought: It has come to the Spokeschief's attention that the Republic of Ting Chow (or whatever) does not participate in activity in either of the forums or the lodger. This is behavior unfitting a member of the CFDC. I hereby recommend that he be removed from the CFDC and replaced unless he immediately starts being active in Regional Politics and squabbles. So long, and thanks for all the fish.
Dootsie, wash my soiled undawears. But your comments (two posts back) were not entirely dumb. The Serfs of the Chosen Four Region don't really deserve representation, but we're nice enough to give them an alternative. The Serfs can argue and debate and persuade members of the CFDC to their hearts' content. Alternatively, a Serf can insult a CFDC member so viciously that his fragile self-esteem is shattered and he never shows his face 'round these parts again.
As for the Bushesque vacations spoken of by I-rey, I have a variation to make. Instead of appointing a substitute, the vacationing nationing should declare his future vacation beforehand. If he will only be gone for a few days (say, up to 10 days), then political activity should be halted. Once we get the Constitution of Supreme Awesome Chastisement (as I affectionately call it as I stroke its hair at night) completed, political activity will slow down and vicious slandering will increase fice-fold. If the CFDC member is gone for an extended period, then he should choose a voting substitute.
Yet another thing to say by me. Wait, can't remember. Oh yeah. . . nope, not it. Oh yeah (for realz this tyme). I have an entire beef with the division of responsibilities in the two houses. Since there be no way of enforcing or even utilizing laws dealing with domestic issues (such as law enforcement, environmental, etc.), the powers of the Houses should instead be based on something different. The purpose of the Constitution is to give etiquette and behavior laws to the rulers of the nations of the Chosen Four, not to the pitiful and expendable subjects of their mighty nations. So the responsibilities of the Houses should be something different, but I can't think of what exactly right now.
One (hopefully) final thought: It has come to the Spokeschief's attention that the Republic of Ting Chow (or whatever) does not participate in activity in either of the forums or the lodger. This is behavior unfitting a member of the CFDC. I hereby recommend that he be removed from the CFDC and replaced unless he immediately starts being active in Regional Politics and squabbles. So long, and thanks for all the fish.
Dootsie, wash my soiled undawears. But your comments (two posts back) were not entirely dumb. The Serfs of the Chosen Four Region don't really deserve representation, but we're nice enough to give them an alternative. The Serfs can argue and debate and persuade members of the CFDC to their hearts' content. Alternatively, a Serf can insult a CFDC member so viciously that his fragile self-esteem is shattered and he never shows his face 'round these parts again.
As for the Bushesque vacations spoken of by I-rey, I have a variation to make. Instead of appointing a substitute, the vacationing nationing should declare his future vacation beforehand. If he will only be gone for a few days (say, up to 10 days), then political activity should be halted. Once we get the Constitution of Supreme Awesome Chastisement (as I affectionately call it as I stroke its hair at night) completed, political activity will slow down and vicious slandering will increase fice-fold. If the CFDC member is gone for an extended period, then he should choose a voting substitute.
Yet another thing to say by me. Wait, can't remember. Oh yeah. . . nope, not it. Oh yeah (for realz this tyme). I have an entire beef with the division of responsibilities in the two houses. Since there be no way of enforcing or even utilizing laws dealing with domestic issues (such as law enforcement, environmental, etc.), the powers of the Houses should instead be based on something different. The purpose of the Constitution is to give etiquette and behavior laws to the rulers of the nations of the Chosen Four, not to the pitiful and expendable subjects of their mighty nations. So the responsibilities of the Houses should be something different, but I can't think of what exactly right now.
One (hopefully) final thought: It has come to the Spokeschief's attention that the Republic of Ting Chow (or whatever) does not participate in activity in either of the forums or the lodger. This is behavior unfitting a member of the CFDC. I hereby recommend that he be removed from the CFDC and replaced unless he immediately starts being active in Regional Politics and squabbles. So long, and thanks for all the fish.
Oh, #$%^&, triple post. I hate these freaking computers at the Seilo's Room. They freakin' freak agh illiterate. Formal Apology.
The tokechief's comments are duly noted, but the Grand Droog believes that the responsibilities of the houses are reasonable for implementing region wide policies. The Dude understands that The Tribal Chiefs will be the ones to enforce these rules but thinks they are entirely capable. If article 1 was not clear as to how members of the CFDC will announce an vacation, they will be REQUIRED to make a formal announcement and possibly nominate a substitute or they may face expulsion from the CFDC. The Dude agrees with the Spokechief that the AmbASSidizzle of Ta Chuang should attend our meetings more often or be replaced as the Chosen Four Mothership Connection.
Bueller, Bueller.
As for the Bushesque vacations spoken of by I-rey, I have a variation to make. Instead of appointing a substitute, the vacationing nationing should declare his future vacation beforehand. If he will only be gone for a few days (say, up to 10 days), then political activity should be halted.
Accepting my place as a meaningless nation, I will throw out a thought: perhaps each nation on the council could have an "understudy" already declared to vote for them in such an instance. If something comes up without notice, this second nation could vote and be sure that nothing gets backlogged. Ten days in this world is a hefty time to wait on something that may be short-term. Also consider the possibility of situations arising in which the council member would be unable to give formal notice or appoint a nation to take their place.
If Dootsie's understudy proposal goes to task, then the Sultan calls dibs on the Doots. Dootsie, even though lacking some kick ass genitals, makes up for it in spunk. As for Ta Chuang, the Sultan also agrees on the fact that he's being a major bastardo deluxe (e.g. having a life) and should either attend meetings, or relinquish his legislative powers to the nation of Scaraba, the original (gangsta) legislator. And Darkie-vale, didn't I make that point about regional vs. domestic policies way earlier on? Not criticizing, just pointing it out. (Secretly though, the Sultan was criticizing). I got my gin and tonic! And my motherfukkin' bubonic chronic!
Yes, Scaraba, you did make that comment. I was merely reiterating it for our seemingly sightless Supreme Executive, I-peey. He ignored your inhumanly wise comments when he wrote up the Article.
Secondly, Scaraba definitely should not be both houses of Legislation. How could it be The Chosen Four if we only had three members of the Divine Committee?
Dootsie's understudy idea was grand and suspiciously masculine. However, we only have seven members, and only four of us are active at all. I haven't heard a peep out Komdor (who started another nation to the consternation of us all), Ta Chuang, or Daishin since the Jews escaped. So that's a slight problem. We wouldn't have enough people to be understudies. Also, upon further review it seems dumb and polygamy-induced for the great nation of Darkvale to suggest a 10-day vacation period. A more suitable time might be three or four days (A solid weekend).
Where the Cheese at? I dunno!
First and foremost, El Duche Libre accuses the ambASSador of Ta Chuang of grand not-showing-up and his-mom-munches-carpet in the first degree! He is hereby given exactly 24 hours to wipe the shit off his chest and post a message or face eviction from the CFDC.
On another note, the Grateful Deaude proposes article 1 as written with the vacation section shortened to four days and the appointment of a Minister of Sloppy Seconds. The MSS will act as a president pro-tempore and will be fifth in command of the Chosen Four. Although the MSS will not vote and will not technically be part of the CFDC, they will fill in when any member goes on vacation (thus eliminating the nomination of "understudies", the MSS is the understudy of the whole CFDC). The MSS will have the same powers formerly given to temporary CFDC members in the vacation section of article 1. Some member of the CFDC who understands this please draft another article 1 (1...2...3...not it).
Also, a loin grabbing welcome to Ultra Jesus (he turns the other cheek only to backhand your hymie bitch ass), The Jews of Abetone (west side rabbi), and Nigcity (he punches girls for fun). May you all fit into our fine region as easily as a well lubricated member into Dootsie's overused aen-hole.
Bumbles bounce!
Dootsie smiles warmly, and holds up a "I-rey = Okay" picket sign.
The MSS idea is a perfect solution, and I feel like an angry, drunken monkey for not thinking of it myself. Indeed, the MSS position would eliminate confusion as to who is supposed to do what and where they should put their bannana-flavored lube first.
That idea gets two thumbs up and a slice of pizza from the people of Dootsie. Would you like fries with that?
Ta Chuang has been removed from the position of Mothership Connection! As Supreme Erection of the Chosen Four, the Grand Dude appoints Dootsie as the new MC. The Dude believes Doot's womanly touch and feminine wiles shall be very useful in "domestic" issues. The nation of Ta Chuang will take the Doochie's place in the Sultan's Harem and be subject to exponential verbal abuse.
Skyrockets in flight, afternoon delight.
Here it is, your moment of zen.
Article 1: The Divine Committee of The Chosen Four
The Chosen Four Region shall be led by a four branch government, known as the Chosen Four Divine Committee (CFDC). These branches are organized as follows:
Supreme Emperor: The nation filling this position has the power to approve or veto laws drafted by the Legislative branches. If the SE fails to address a law within 48 hours of it being officially proposed to him, it automatically passes if it has 2 or more votes. In the case of a 2-2 tie on any issue, law, or bill voted on by the Chosen Four, the SE makes the final decision.
Infinitely Wise Sage: After a law has been passed, the IWS reviews it to make sure it is kosher with the Constitution. The IWS also has the responsibility to monitor member nations and make sure they follow the laws.
Parliament Funkadelic: This legislative house is responsible for drafting laws concerning the following topics: Business and corporation, military/national security, law enforcement, foreign affairs, and etiquette within the region.
Mothership Connection: This legislative house is responsible for drafting laws concerning the following topics: environmental, civil/human rights, education, and housing.
The process of making a law: A member nation proposes a law to the House that deals with that particular area of law. The Sponsoring House, working with the proposing nation, then draft a bill that satisfies both the Sponsoring House and the Proposer. The law is then discussed between the two Houses to decide if the bill has enough support among the member nations to call a vote. At least 25% of member nations must endorse a bill before it goes to vote (to protect member nations from tyranny, you see). The bill then goes before the entire Chosen Four Divine Committee, which votes on the bill. The SE will officially call the vote when the bill is ready and the CFDC will have 48 hours to make their decision. If the CFDC is locked in a 2-2 tie, the SE makes the final decision by either signing the bill or vetoing it. The veto may only be used in the case of a 2-2 tie. And yes, personal biases and feuds may influence any member of the CFDC's actions.
Addendum Uno
When a member of the CFDC wishes to take a Bushesque vacation from governing duties, he shall appoint another nation to fill in while he is gone. The temporary counsel member will be able to vote on issues and carry out the normal tasks required by the position, but will not be able to propose, create, suggest, veto, approve, or enact any propositions, bills, treaties, resolutions, amendments, etc. If a nation is filling in for the SE and a vote is tied at 2-2, it remains on the voting floor until the real SE returns. At any time, the four members of the CFDC may meet and decide to suspend the governing of the region for a specified time period during which there will be no political activity. If the one member of the CFDC is absent without explanation for at least one week, he may be replaced. If the entire CFDC is gone for more than a week with no official statement, the member nations have the right to revolt and form a new government.
Addendum Deux.
There will also be a fifth power in the CFDC. The Minister of Sloppy Seconds will act as a president pro-tempore and will be fifth in command of the Chosen Four. Although the MSS will not vote and will not technically be part of the CFDC, they will fill in when any member goes on vacation (thus eliminating the nomination of "understudies", the MSS is the understudy of the whole CFDC). The MSS will have the same powers formerly given to temporary CFDC members in the vacation section of article 1. Also, everyone in the CFDC gets free (poontang or meat) pie, courtesy of the lesser, loser nations.
Oh, lets say...Moe.
The Emperor of Komdor, in his regal, undying, and limitless glory, hereby apologizes for not being very communicative. Also, to the brainless pile of sludge that somehow has managed to name itself the Chief of Darkvale, I have started another nation. Why, you ask? Only to improve it with what I learned from this nation, in order to create a truly great nation. I wonder, does this foolish bundle of useless nerves have an organ that would qualify as a brain?
Moving on, the Emperor would like to make a request for a position of power in The Chosen Four Divine Committee. He is of course aware that he has been suspiciously absent of late, but promises that the Holy Empire of Komdor shall hereby participate more. Why, some people who are lacking of important organs (like nomads) might ask, should the magneficent and awe-inspiring Holy Empire of Komdor be on the CFDC when there is no deficiancy of able nations? To balance things out, as anyone with at least 10 functioning brain cells could see, of course! As all the other members are (obviously crazed) liberal nations, to have a right-wing utopia would allow the CFDC to approach issues with more than one perspective.
On another, totally unrelated, note, the Holy Empire of Komdor's Ministry of Information would like to announce that they can make unbelievably awesome flags for member nations. If you want a sample of the flags which we can provide, you have but to gaze upon the masterful art work that is the Holy Empire of Komdor's flag.
Now, the Sultan don't want to get off on a rant here, but as a member of the Divine Commitee, The Sultan feels it is his place to smack down the upstart right-winger that is Komdor. Hey, Komdor! We set aside the political harem for you...What more do you want? If you really feel that you deserve a position of power, I hereby nominate you for the head of the Department of Flag Creation. As for the influence wielded by the Divine Commitee, the Chosen Four can do without extremist conservative thinking...It isn't conducive to the original intent of the forefathers (that is, Sultan, Chief, and Duder). But that's just the my opinion; I could be wrong.
The title that is hereby bestowed upon the Emperor of Komdor (with the blessing of I-rey's Chosen Four Empirical Authority) is the Official Flag Fag of the Chosen Four. As OFF, it will be your responsibility to create new flags for the suckiest nations who don't have custom flags. How d'ya like THEM apples?
I whole-heartedly agree with Section 1. And now I will propose article 2: Etiquette.
Article 2
Section 1
All posts in either the Intellectual Commons, Constitutional Convention, Chosen Four message board, or other forum created exclusively or primarily for the Chosen Four Region shall end with an onomatopoeia or pop culture reference (heretofor: o/pcr). The o/pcr shall be in some way funny, obscure, or otherwise deemed good by other members of the Chosen Four. If a member of the Chosen Four ends with a bad o/pcr, another member can call "Suck Balls" on it. If at least two other members of the Chosen Four second the motion of Suck Balls, the offending nation shall spend four days in the Sultan's Harem.
Section 2
All posts in any forum or message board shall use proper grammar and correct spelling as much as possible. If a nation repeatedly makes spelling errors or gross errors of grammar, he or she shall be sentenced to four days in the Sultan's Harem.
Section 3
If a country makes unprovoked, unfunny, insults against another member nation, that receiving nation can call the offending nation on it. The offending nation shall be subject to four days in the Sultan's Harem.
Section 4
All lesser nations (not members of the Chosen Four Divine Committee) shall conduct themselves with supreme humility. All insults and comments should be written as such. A lesser nation who attempts to put himself above the Chosen Four Divine Committee shall be subject to days in the Sultan's Harem.
All sections are subject to change and ridicule. Doe, Ray, Egan!
Section 1
All posts in either the Intellectual Commons, Constitutional Convention, Chosen Four message board, or other forum created exclusively or primarily for the Chosen Four Region shall end with an onomatopoeia or pop culture reference (heretofor: o/pcr). The o/pcr shall be in some way funny, obscure, or otherwise deemed good by other members of the Chosen Four. If a member of the Chosen Four ends with a bad o/pcr, another member can call "Suck Balls" on it. If at least two other members of the Chosen Four second the motion of Suck Balls, the offending nation shall spend four days in the Sultan's Harem.
I propose a change to the Suck Balls section. If a non-CFDC nation makes a Suck-ballsable o/pcr, then the CFDC will make the final decision in a closed door meeting (if there is significant support for the motion). If one of the Divine Commitee makes a Suck-ballsable o/pcr (as if!) then twenty-five percent of member nations must support the call of Suck Balls. Punishments are groovy. Can I get some fries with that shake shake booty?
The Holy Empire of Komdor is outraged. Not since the time that the Holy Empire of Komdor's people were refered as, collectively, "jerks" and "kneebiters" by a mysterious alien have they clamored so for immediate nuclear retaliation. This clamoring has been lessened somewhat by the fact that the Holy Empire of Komdor currently has no nuclear weapons (though that is apt to change soon). Nevertheless, our benevolent people offer to help the pitiful nations that our flooding our region like Serbs from Yugoslavia after a war, and all we get for our efforts is scorn!
(And if you haven't noticed by now, no, I'm not accepting the OFF position.)
And did I say I wanted to turn the CFDC into a bastion of covservative power, like, like...oh, say Texas? NO! Perhaps the Sultan was too busy searching for "member-enhancing devices" to make his "member" large, or, failing that, at least large enough that it isn't measured in nanometers, on the 'Net to notice, but I said that it would allow the CFDC to allow to approach issues from more than one perspective! I do not want to end your crazy liberalness, for that is what gives this region it's unique flair. But what's the fun of having four people saying the same thing and agreeing on everything? Is not debate an essential part of democracy? Am I not he who has spoken such great and powerful sayings, like "worse than dirt", which are unspeakably funny?
Whilst I let the potency of my wisdom seep into your minds, I, for your reading pleasure, will present you with a link to one of the funniest posts anywhere, on anything. The guy is talking about a sci-fi muiltiplayer game where space marines fight aliens. Without further ado;
http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/index.php?act=ST&f=5&t=17547&hl=smart_bomb+style
(NOTE: the poster's title (the thing under his 'avatar').)
Thwack! Smack! Thud.
Well, Empie, your dreams may come true. It is known that Dootsie may soon depart from our fine region. This will leave a hole in our CFDC, and you might just be the guy to fill it. We'll see how this develops. By the whey, it doesn't matter whether you accept or not, you are already decided to be the OFF of the Chosen Four. EeeeeeeeXEUNT!!
Komdor, you unchaste animal molester. The only reason you are even in the Chosen Four is because of your humorous speech-impediment. You're quest for power is founded on nothing but an over-zealous lack of a father figure. The impervious vessel known as Darkvale hardly considers itself liberal; we are more of moderate sinshiny paradise. The last thing the Chosen Four needs is radical right-wingists threatening nucular retalliation for petty differences. You should be content with your position as Official Flag Fag, and get your unwashed hands off your loins. How dare you waltz in here, jiz-filled head held high, and demand a position on the CFDC after weeks of political silence! Until further notice, I officially block all efforts on your part to gain more power: I'd rather let Silent Chuang back into the CFDC. And that's the way it is.
The Grand Dragon would like to express his interest in gaining more political power, specifically a seat on the Chosen Four Divine Committee. While he knows that he is worthy of such a responsibility, he acknowledges the fact that he has yet to prove his mettle. Therefore, he orders his Council of Grand Wizards to answer a timeless question and settle arguments among the Chosen Four forever! Who has the largest penis in the Chosen Four? The Grand Wizards will report back as soon as possible. In west Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground is where I spent most of my days.
The Sultan hereby declares his intentions to smoke a "blunt" with the Big Chief. Also, addressing both the Holy Hemperor and the Grand Faggon, KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH! The Sultan doesn't want to have to take out his trouser snake and cock-slap youse guys in the visage with it! Your bids for power will go unheeded until you start being more hilarious and active. Also keep this kind of complainin' in the Intellsexual Commons thread. And also in the newly created off-site foursome, located at:
http://s3.invisionfree.com/The_Chosen_Four/index.php
But props to the Grand Drag-queen for the Big Will reference! South Beach, bringin' the heat, uh! Ha ha, ha ha! Woo! Uh, uh, uh, uh!