NationStates Jolt Archive

+++News transmission from Fasta Benj+++
At 1Pm this afternoon, Tzar Richard of Dyelli Beybi was gruesomely slain by Terrorists while on a hunting trip within Fasta benj. Sadly Prince Henry of Fasta Benj was too late to save his father, coming upon the scene as the barbarians weere finishing their horrid butchery. In his rage the prince opened fire on the cretins, killing them all, and destroying their jeep. He has ordered the execution of the crew of his wyrvyrn aircraft to punish their laxity in attending the scene. His Highness was en-route to meet the Tzar for a discussion of the slight hostilities with the Drakonian Imperium.

Prince Henry, as heir to the house of Glawis has asserted his title to the throne of both countries, and his overlordship of the Grand Duchy of HEPA, Lord Squall Oppressed Republic, Pictsie Tribes of the Nac Mac Feegle, Orc Goblin and Pictsie Tribes of Northern Klatchia, Not-at-all-Independant barony of Leondazure, Incredible Nuts of Axe-weilding-maniacs, and the Lands of Karndi. As normal, it is expected that most of these will deny any such claim, and shoot any representative of the new Tzar.

The Prince is expected to travel to Cyro for his coronation tomorrow, as soon as his Tanks have sufficiently pacified the city.

The Prince has also ordered a lavish state funeral for his father, including a new pyramid near Bath, with a nuclear weapons silo incorporated into it, stating "He'd have liked that"

A series of conflicting statements have come out of Dyelli Beybi.

"The Dog is dead. Long life to the glorious people's revolution. We will fight the Royalist snakes at every turn."
-Denise Laroque, Chairperson of the Communist Party

"Long live the new Tzar!"
-Lord Harold Flashman, Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Diplomatic Blunders

"In concordance with Ancient Welsh laws, the lands of the deceased Tzar shall be split between the two Princes. Those of Dyelli Beybi and Axe Wielding Maniacs are claimed as the lands of Prince George Glawis."
-Mr E. Blackadder, Advisor to the Prince

"We will fight all Communist and Royalists within our borders. Dyelli Beybi has been opressed by these groups long enough."
-Mr Otto Himler, Leader of the National Socialist Workers PArty of Dyelli Beybi

OOC: you forgot pope "Indecency"

IC: All foreign powers are invited to the funeral, and it is expected that several will turn up, more to make sure that Richard is really dead and get free drinks than from any sense of loss.