NationStates Jolt Archive


Breaking News In Slutbum Wallah! Someone Set Up Us The Bomb!

Slutbum Wallah
18-11-2003, 00:22
"..And in other news today The Federation of Neo-Protestant Labourers spearheaded an assualt on a congregation of Sirithil-Worshipers. The FNPL, in conjunction with local police forces.. hang on, I'm being handed a piece of paper..."

"This just in, a branch of Discriminant Equality Bank and Trust is apparently under attack by unkown forces in downtown Madrigaz. Several explosions have been seen and the streets appoaching the bank seem to be blocked by wrecked cars and debris. Yes... yes I'm being told we have a reporter at the scene, I'll hand you over now."

The view of the pristine office changes to a soot-covered reporter crouching behind the flaming wreckage of a blasted car. The reporter is talking urgently into the microphone but no sound is heard. Several green flashes blossom into explosions behind him. There is some static and the sound comes on...

"... death toll is rising. Local police forces are powerless to stop this madman's rampage as more of the staff are excecuted. The area is becoming very dangerous and time is running out for these hostages." the view changes as the cameraman crawls forwards and points the camera over the top of the barricade, showing the veiwing population the carnage in the streets.

Parked in front of the bank is a flatbed truck stripped of almost everything except the engine and the cab. On it is fixed a huge array of electrcial equipment, large blue sparks flashing between various nodes. At the front of the truck, over the cab, is what appears to be a modified fire hose, somehow connected to the coils of electricity. Just behind it stands a tall, manic faced man dressed in a scorched lab coat. He squeezes the trigger and a thin jet of glowing energy flies out from the hose, shearing lamp posts in two and slicing solid walls apart in showers of molten rock.

"I HAVE NO USE FOR YOUR PITIFUL CURRENCY, I SIMPLY WISH TO ATTRACT THE ATTENTION OF...

SUPERMAN!!!

YOUR PUNY MENTAL-WARDS AND EXCESSIVELY SMALL PROJECTILE WEAPONS ARE USELESS AGAINST THE POWER OF MY PLASMA BEAM GENERATOR!

SUPERMAN! WHERE ARE YOU! COME TASTE KRYPTONITE DEATH!!"