NationStates Jolt Archive


Anticapitalist Sea Orc kills baby seals [Pic warning]

Knootoss
16-11-2003, 21:09
http://www.evilcripple.com/graphics/seal2.jpg

Anticapitalist Sea Orc Kills Baby Seals

NORTH POLE- The seal population on the NS North Pole has been steadily declining in recent months as the baby seals are being killed one by one by a strange creature called a ‘sea orc.’ The sea orc presumably got lost in the Aperinian waters and ended up in the northern tip of the NS planet where it now preys on the baby seals for survival.

A team of Knootian scientists on a survey mission stumbled upon the Sea Orc by chance and they observed the hunting process. The killings are very methodical; the sea orc first harasses the elder seals until they leave, and then it quickly snatches the slower baby’s. The number of baby seals lost is unknown, but the population was already threatened by recent illegal dumping of chemical toxins by several members of the Corporate Islands. Environmentalists deem the seal situation ‘critical’ and have asked for a team to be dispatched to hunt the creature down.

There are little clues as to where the Sea Orc is originally from, but experts are working on piecing together the puzzle. As the creature is an Orc it would be reasonable to assume that it originated from Arda, however a representative from Melkor Unchained vehemently denied that they had anything to do with it. “We kill Elves and occasionally humans, but not baby seals. That’s just disgusting. The Dark Lord would never do such a thing. Besides, all of our orcs are land based. We don’t have any sea orcs here.”

The experts now believe that the Sea Orc is from an ‘anticapitalist’ nation as it regularly leaves pieces of long manifesto’s and economic theories near the corpses of the deceased baby seals. While the experts have been reading the manifestos in search of clues they admitted that the work was becoming rather tedious. Ronald McDuncan explained: “These documents are all very long and full of circle argumentation. It’s just tiresome. However we still continue as these pieces give us valuable information about the Sea Orcs motives.

The Sea Orc, while presumably just hunting for food, extensively motivates his killings every time. It has left several different notes with arguments legitimising the killing of the seals near the corpses, ranging from “The seals refused to submit to my collective will” and “the seals are Godmodes because they do not have a realistic economic system” to “the seals are ultimately out here to destroy us all.”

Several senior SATO members have suggested pre-emptively carpet nuking the North Pole in order to solve the Sea Orc problem, however a spokesman for the organisation admitted that this solution “while admittedly attractive, bears with it certain long-term environmental disadvantages.”
[More on page 5]

OOC: just a bit of humour – not an actual RP.
Omz222
16-11-2003, 21:12
:lol:

Good implement of the name "Sea orc" you peopl call for SeOCC :P
Ruhr
16-11-2003, 21:16
*Tag* for future reference.

-Ruhrian DIA Agent
Der Angst
16-11-2003, 21:22
Tags are spam

Damn, Knootoss beat me in it...
Knootoss
16-11-2003, 21:24
Tags are spam

Damn, Knootoss beat me in it...

I'm still looking forward to your one.... :mrgreen:

We have to take back some share from wombat news.
16-11-2003, 21:25
Nadavo condemns the Propaganda and Subliminal Messages contained within this as news cast as nothing more than petty. Conversely, we find the actions of the ACA against Capitalists to be nothing more than petty.
Nadavo firmly believes in one principle;

"F*** ideology, just as long as it works!"


Chancellor Manal Pro'dun
Head of State
The Democratic Republic of Nadavo
Wazzu
16-11-2003, 21:27
ROFL!
Knootoss
16-11-2003, 22:26
Navado: what sublimal messages? :P
Free Outer Eugenia
16-11-2003, 22:30
Tags are spam

Damn, Knootoss beat me in it... OOC:
But I must commend you on being the only one corny enough to remark on the very obvious 'other' meaning of my country's acronym :P
Anhierarch
17-11-2003, 01:04
OMGLOLZOR!!!1111ROOFLES!!!!111TAT is SO TEH FUNAY!!!!1111one

:roll:
17-11-2003, 01:24
The United Socialist Hordes of the Communist Orks resent this libelous implication. Our aquatic comrades are content to feed on the yaht dwelling capitalist exploiters and leave innocent sea-dwelling creatures alone. We are not barbarians after all.

-Gensec Khan
No Kings! No wizards! Orks of the Wurld UNYTE!
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_communist_orks.jpg
17-11-2003, 01:40
Communism is EVIL! Capitalism and big Corporations (under my complete control) is the way to go. So say the Goddess on Earth!


http://arcticnightfall.com/sailormoon/images/sub/characters/mn_lady.jpg
The Black Empress Helena Cocytus-Black
Seek Freedom and become captive of your desires, Seek discipline and find your liberty.
The Divine Imperial State of Axackal II
Free Outer Eugenia
17-11-2003, 01:49
So says the psychotic tyrant of a police state where political freedoms are few and far between and civil rights are unheard of.

-Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov
member of Doctors Without Borders
17-11-2003, 01:55
I speak only the truth, I have outlined the road to salvation in the teachings of my Holy Church of political and Spiritual Enlightenment, seek it's discipline to fine true freedom Ivan, seek my perfect glory!


http://arcticnightfall.com/sailormoon/images/sub/characters/mn_lady.jpg
The Black Empress Helena Cocytus-Black
Seek Freedom and become captive of your desires, Seek discipline and find your liberty.
The Divine Imperial State of Axackal II
Beth Gellert
17-11-2003, 01:55
"Pah. This will all end when the polar bears start to go hungry and look for a culprit...ooh..you know, I'd like to see that scrap.." -Comrade G.Igo, CPCS.
Beth Gellert
17-11-2003, 01:58
"..seek my perfect glory!"

"Make me!" -Comrade Igo, three drinks further along.
Free Outer Eugenia
17-11-2003, 01:59
Yes YES YESSSS! It is the One True Faith! Who said that? All Hail The Black Empress Helena Cocytus-Black! The gnomes that live in my pants are rioting! Send in the cigars! Cuba! Cuba! Cuba Gooding Junior's CHEESCAKE! GO CYCLONES!

-Fred 'Slappy' Newbar
member of the Outer Eugenian Society of Schitzophrenics for a Shoebox Cake Machine Radio In My Finger
Copiosa Scotia
17-11-2003, 01:59
Communism is EVIL! Capitalism and big Corporations (under my complete control) is the way to go.

In what sense can an economy completely under the control of the government be called capitalism?
17-11-2003, 02:03
Communism is EVIL! Capitalism and big Corporations (under my complete control) is the way to go.

In what sense can an economy completely under the control of the government be called capitalism?

OOC: It is, she just happens to own all the corporations or is a silent partner.
The Gulf States
17-11-2003, 02:07
Are any seals currently in danger?
17-11-2003, 02:17
Probably some human capitalists destroying nature again...
Syskeyia
17-11-2003, 02:26
<pic>

Awww, what a cute seal. :D

The Sea Orc, while presumably just hunting for food, extensively motivates his killings every time. It has left several different notes with arguments legitimising the killing of the seals near the corpses, ranging from “The seals refused to submit to my collective will” and “the seals are Godmodes because they do not have a realistic economic system” to “the seals are ultimately out here to destroy us all.”
:lol:

God bless,

The Republic of Syskeyia
Europolis
17-11-2003, 09:00
Morning news BUMP!
The Evil Smurfs
17-11-2003, 17:04
Probably some human capitalists destroying nature again...

Are you discriminating against us Smurfy capitalists?

~Führer Smurf
Knootoss
17-11-2003, 21:07
Are any seals currently in danger?

As long as the Sea Orc lurks, yes, I am afraid so.
18-11-2003, 15:55
Probably some human capitalists destroying nature again...

Are you discriminating against us Smurfy capitalists?

~Führer SmurfA 'Smurfy capitalist' is a contradiction in terms. You must still be suffering from the unsmurfy Golden Taint.

"Papa" Smurf
Premier of The Smurfiest Soviet
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_smurf_commune.jpg
Endless Crimes
18-11-2003, 16:00
The holy Evil Smurfs are our brothers in faith! Do not risk or wrath!

~ Metatron, on steroid
Sketch
18-11-2003, 16:24
To walk the path of righteousness is to walk with me.

Not sure how this relates in any way to your thread.....but hey, I liked how it sounded :P
The Gulf States
21-11-2003, 03:13
Are any seals currently in danger?

As long as the Sea Orc lurks, yes, I am afraid so.

Do you wish for us to evacuate them to more friendly environments, or perhaps have a few in our aquariums?
Free Pacific States
21-11-2003, 03:25
First of all, communism itself isn't evil, and second of all, not every communist is a killer, or a cruel person. Communism is a great form of government, and if people weren't greedy, it would work (in other words, it would work in the ideal world). It is not the fault of Karl Marx, who created communism, nor the theory of communism itself, that has done evil things. That was Lenin, Stalin, and Fidel. Don't go after something for what other people did.

As for communists, not all are evil. Many communists are unlike Stalin in the full. Not that there are that many communists anymore (excepting in China, North Korea, and Cuba).
Der Angst
21-11-2003, 10:23
And why do you lecture us in a thread that is supposed to be fun?
Anhierarch
21-11-2003, 10:50
And why do you lecture us in a thread that is supposed to be fun?

Because the funny was missing all along.
Der Angst
21-11-2003, 11:09
You are in no position to talk, little boy.

(Coalition department of the arts)
Anhierarch
21-11-2003, 11:17
Which has never published anything, and proposals therein never included crude, asinine puns.
GMC Military Arms
21-11-2003, 11:23
That's quite enough of that.