NationStates Jolt Archive

VANCOUVER: In a surprizing tournabout from last years surprizing Elven explulsion from Vancouver's borders, Immigration and Naturalization minster Paul Nutley has reversed the contraversial "Anti-sorcery" legislation that had caused Elves along with the smaller Pixie and Leprechaun ethnic groups to be expelled primarily into neighboring Seattle where they were forced to camp in squalid coffee shops and video arcades.

"This is a victory for all the fae peoples of Vancouver! It's a disgrace it took this long to happen!" Shouted elf-enthusiast Minnie Chu. Others are less enthusiastic.

"I was just getting used to not having my socks stolen in the middle of the night, or going to the bathroom without having to worry about whether my toilet being magically altered. These elves are a menace!" grumbles curmudgeon Peter Snark. "If I catch one of those curly-toed bastards near my house I'm getting my .22 I swear!"

SEATTLE: While most elves have been forced to work a subsistance wage of chocolate sauce at sordid local coffee bars, many feel they prefer to live where they aren't persecuted for their 'carefree' nature. "People here have a better sense of humor. Why last week I lit a guy's pants on fire with my mind, and he didn't seem to mind at all!"

Regardless, most are happy to return to the forests of Vancouver. Pixie Fxnowzak has seen just as much persecution here in Seattle. "Why just last week I was minding my own business, plucking hairs out of people for a spell I was working on, when this guy up and swats at me! I mean what's up with that?"

By the end of the week, millions of elves, pixies and leprechauns are expected to return to Vancouver, and many residents are saddened and relieved. "On the one hand, it was pretty cool having them around" remarks local painter Mark Andrews, "but after my house burnt down, I sort of got tired of them. I think a year has been quite enough, and Vancouver can deal with them for a while."